Stay With Me | By : Laney Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 4650 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter verse, nor do I make any money from this. |
"What's this I hear about Snape leaving Hogwarts?" Ron asks Harry over their weekly dinner with Hermione.
His jaw drops, his eyes go wide and he's rendered momentarily speechless.
"What do you mean? He's leaving?" Harry finally asks, his pulse speeding up.
"That's what I've heard."
"From where?"
"Well," Hermione interjects, "I was talking to Professor McGonagall a few days ago and she alluded to it, but she didn't want to say much about it."
"Then Hermione told me and I asked one of the guys I work with who buys a bunch of ingredients off of him; he said Snape wouldn't be able to sell him anything for awhile," Ron adds.
"But…why would he leave? Voldemort's dead, he has a nice job and good pay," Harry rambles off the list.
"But he doesn't particularly like the people he's with, now does he?" Hermione points out.
"But…it's not a Hogwarts without Severus Snape lurking about."
"We graduated four years ago, Harry…what does it even matter if he's there lurking about?" Ron questions, "I admit it's a rather odd thing for even him to do, but if it's what he wants, who are we to question it?"
Harry doesn't agree with that last part at all. Who are they to question it? Well, he doesn't know who his friends are to question it, but he's the Boy-Who-Survived-To-Stupidly-Want-The-Git. And right now, his heart is breaking.
"Yeah," He says anyway, "I guess you're right."
After the pair leaves Harry's home later that evening, he's free to really think about this new information. Hermione and Ron hadn't wanted to discuss it much further than they already had, but it was nagging something awful at Harry's mind.
Sure, he graduated four years ago, but because Voldemort was still at large, he still got to see Severus (for they had become close during the final battles) at Order meetings and missions for three years afterwards. Everyone thought it was odd to have The Chosen One and The Spy working together on so many cases…well…mostly having The Spy working on so many cases. It was a big risk, for what if Voldemort had found out who the man behind the disguises was? But he never did, and the two of them made an extremely strong pair; neigh invincible.
Once the war ended, Harry began visiting Severus every so often, but he always felt a little out of place in Hogwarts after it all, and has nearly stopped his visits altogether. What's the point, really? He always feels like he's intruding on the man's life and private time, no matter how many times Severus says it isn't so.
And now this man he has come to consider a very dear friend is leaving? And he didn't even tell him about it? To even imagine him leaving without Harry having told him how he feels…to kiss him but once…nearly brings him to tears as his heart aches.
He knows what he has to do: he must go straight to the source and demand an answer. Good or bad, he'll know.
So the next day, Harry sets out at 11 in the morning for Hogwarts. It being Saturday, the other man would be up and probably grading papers or the like, but definitely available. He strides through the front gates, the entrance way, the hallways, even, with a great mask of confidence and even more honest determination.
He knocks three times in a row on Severus' office door, entering when he hears the voice bid him enter. As per usual, Severus doesn't look up from his grading even once before he finishes the remaining few essays. Some things never change, and Harry loves that.
"Harry," Severus greets, without having looked up, as he settles the last essay on the finished pile and spells them to God knows where. Then he does look up, and he smiles.
Harry can't help the answering smile, "Severus."
"What brings you this time?" He stands and moves to support himself on the front of his desk.
"I heard something yesterday that rather disconcerted me, and I came to find the truth," both their smiles fade as the sentence is spoken.
"Oh? And what could you have heard that would bring you here?"
"I've heard…they said…" Harry has to breathe before he starts over, losing his determination and surety, "Is it true?" he asks quietly, not looking at the man.
"I can't answer you until you tell me what you're referring to," though not said harshly or irritably, it has the undertone of seriousness that laces most everything that Severus Snape says.
Harry raises his eyes to his former Professor and now friend before clarifying, "You're leaving?"
For a moment, Severus simply studies Harry's eyes, seeing the sadness within them and aching for it, "I am."
"Why?"
"Because I want to start over. No matter how much I try and tell myself I'm happy with how the students consider me a bat and are afraid of me, the truth is that I am not. I would be if it got me good results, but it simply gets me more Longbottom's than I care to count anymore. I'm retiring from teaching and am going to open a shop in France."
"France? But…that's so far."
"The further the better."
"But why can't you stay here and do it? You have a great reputation as a Potions Master; your business would do very well here."
Severus examines the desperation on the other man's face before turning away from him, "I see no reason to stay here. My reputation reaches to France, and there is nothing here for me."
"I'm here," it comes out so softly that Severus isn't sure he heard it.
"What did you say?"
"I said that I'm here," Harry says louder after a few seconds, "And I would miss you if you left. Can you not see that?"
"I don't know why you'd miss me. You have other friends, Harry," He turns back around to face him.
"It's not just because you're my friend. You've helped me so much, even after I was a student, and I value your presence in my life greatly. To lose such a force in my life…" But he doesn't continue.
"I'm sure you wouldn't notice after awhile."
"Why do you think that?" Harry asks, exasperated, "Why is it so difficult to believe that you are influential in someone's life?"
"Since when have I ever been an influence on someone's life?" Severus asks seriously. A few years ago such a statement would have shocked Harry, but with how much they've talked, it's common place.
"Since you started teaching me! You've been influential on me and Hermione for starters, and even Ron. We can't be the only ones you've had an impact on; I can't believe that, and I won't let you believe it, either."
"My influence isn't a good one."
"Of course it is. You teach dedication, not only for potions but for the other pursuits your students have, as well; you teach obedience because you demand it, and so much more."
Severus makes a non-committal noise in the back of his throat.
"Why can't you have a better opinion of yourself?" Harry asks softly.
"I just can't," Severus replies, equally as soft. He knows it’s not the honest reason, but he also knows that Harry will understand anyway.
Harry's heart breaks, but not nearly as much as he knows it would if Severus left, and in that moment he makes up his mind. He walks forward slowly, making sure not to scare the other man, before stopping right in front of him.
Their eyes are locked, and Harry lifts his right hand to place his pointer finger lightly under the other man's chin. With it, he slowly pulls Severus' face to his, searching his eyes the entire time for a sign of disgust but only finds hope. As their lips connect softly, both sets of eyes close. They share several soft, close-mouthed kisses before Harry draws back first.
As his forehead rests on Severus', he whispers, "Please don't leave."
Severus shakes his head slightly, though as an answer or in uncertainty, Harry's not sure. Severus begins rubbing their noses together softly before caressing the other's cheeks lightly with his lips, placing feather-light kisses on them.
Harry wraps his arms around the man in front of him tightly, and he thinks he may never let go in fear that he'll simply disappear. "Please," He whispers again.
"What are you offering me, Harry?"
"A reason to stay," He shifts so his face is buried in Severus' neck before all-but-sobbing, "Everything I can."
"If I stay here, you'll be with me?"
"If you'll let me."
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes…oh please, yes."
Severus pulls back from his unlikely friend and looks him in the eye, "Are you absolutely sure you want me?"
"I've never wanted anything more."
And with that, Severus' mouth is on Harry's in a flash, the intensity of it nearly consuming them. Their tongues battle for dominance in a game that neither really wants to win, merely happy to be participating at all.
"Stay with me?" Harry pants once their mouths separate once more.
"I thought you’d never ask,” Severus smirks.
Both men laugh to let out the nervous energy before kissing again, this time with less need and more tenderness. They may not last forever, but they know they still have plenty of time to discover everything about the other.
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