Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Sags Nicht	By : Pheobi Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 25726 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any characters or places affiliated with it. It belongs to JKR and various companies. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
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SUMMARY: Harry Potter knew all about the Darkness. He knew how it could reach out and wrap tendrils around your heart, your mind, and your soul. It was insidious; it was tempting. It was something he'd unconsciously fought against his whole life.

Once you've given in to the Darkness, can you ever be the same? Can you ever come back, into the Light? Would you even want to?

WARNINGS EDIT: I received a review complaining about "Warnings Just-In-Case" and, with more time to plan, thought I'd clarify. Of the warnings listed on this story, which are as follows: Abuse, Anal, Angst, BDSM, Bi, Bigotry, Contro, CR, D/s, Exhib, Fet, Fingering, H/C, HJ, Humil, Inc, MC, M/M, MCD, MiCD, Minor1, Minor2, MPreg, OC, Oral, RapeFic, S&M, SH, Slave, Solo, Spank, Tort, Violence, Voy, WD, WIP -------> I say the following: Abuse, Anal, Angst, Bi, Bigotry, Contro (controversial), CR (corruption), Exhib, Fingering, H/C, HJ, Humil, MC (mind control), M/M, MCD/MiCD (major and minor character death), Minor2, MPreg, OC, Oral, RapeFic, Tort, Violence, Voy, and WIP are ALL happening. Only the handful of others MAY not. They still could...just not sure yet. Hope that satisfies my reviewer.

NOT DH compliant. It is, however, for the most part, HBP compliant.

Oh, and the title, "Sags Nicht" is German (Pronounced Zahgs Nich [actually it's more Nick than Nich but it's like, a guttural "Nich" so yeah...])and it means "Don't Tell".

Disclaimer: I do not own HP or anything from that world. JKR does, along with various entities/persons who've got rights and shit. I am not one of them. I make no money from this and I will return all characters (albeit slightly damaged) when I'm done playing. Promise.

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A/N: This is the basic premise of the story. It takes place after the first few chapters (I'll circle back to it) and then before the main part of the story. What do you think? Let me know. Happy reading! ~ FA

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"Cheers, to long hours and sleepless nights and endless pain. Cheers to heartbreak and betrayal and lies that cut so deep I should be bleeding. Cheers to all the torment and anguish I feel every time you walk away, every time I wonder if you'll be coming back or if this is it. If this is the last time I'll see your face or hear your voice or touch your skin. One day it will be and cheers to that too...cheers to knowing it's coming.

"Why cheers, you ask? Because all of that means I'm still alive and so are you. Cheers means the end hasn't come yet...not the end of my life, nor the end of yours, nor the end of us and this - whatever this is. And don't try to answer that, please, because I don't want to know. I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses and your pithy comments and the painful lies that spill forth from your beautiful lips like silver bells. I know the truth...that this is nothing.

"It's nothing, because if it was something, one of us would give. One of us would say 'Enough!' and turn from the paths we walk - alone, since we walk such different ones - and take the other's hand and go with them down theirs. One of us would choose US over THEM and that isn't happening. Not today, not tomorrow, not in a hundred years...should we live that long, which is doubtful. It is us after all.

"Someone important - Don't ask me who; I never could remember that sort of thing. - said that death is nothing to us, because 'While we are, it has not come and when it comes, we are not.' and I hold close to that thought. To the thought that when death comes for me - as it surely will soon enough - I will simple cease to be. And sometimes, though not often, I hate that idea because I won't have you. Not even in memories. When I am cold and lifeless, beyond this and where ever it is that I shall be, I want those memories. I want them more than anything. I want to hold them in my mind and heart...every touch, every word, ever moment we've had - the good and the bad. Forever. Most times, though, I want nothing more than this...what we have now.

"Every stolen moment, though it puts us both at risk. Every stolen kiss and touch and word...every lie...every betrayal...every single time one of us sneaks away, knowing it could be the time we're caught. The time we lose. Not just each other, but our lives. And the worst part is, your life matters more. I'd plead for it...die for you...give up and give in and give myself over if I thought it would spare you their wrath...their hatred...your death at their hands. Would it? Would you ask it of me? Tell me, now, before we waste another moment.

"I know I said no more lies...no more words. No pithy comments...no sweet promises broken even as they pass those lips I cherish so much. No silly remarks or half-truths or platitudes in the voice that makes me weak every time I hear it, be it whispered against my skin in darkness or raised in curses over the din of fighting and hatred and anger. And I meant it. I meant it all. I want only truth now.

"Solid truth. Truth and nothing more. Nothing more and nothing less. Would they spare your life if I turned? Would he forgive you for your betrayal in exchange for mine? Would he let you be; would he let you be mine, if I asked for it in exchange for me? For me kneeling in front of your Master instead of my own? If I swore allegiance to your side instead of mine? If I gave myself over to it, heart and mind and body and soul? They already belong to you...why not to your cause? Why not to your side? Why not to the master you serve? Then, if I did so, could we be together?

"And if we could...if that would be allowed...if that would make it so...will you ask me to do it? Will you ask of me the one thing I cannot bring myself to ask of you? I will not ask you to kneel before my master. I will not ask you to support my cause. I will NOT. But I ask you now, without judgment of your answer, will you ask me? Can you ask me?

"If yes, then tell me now. Say it now. Say it the only way you can...the only way that I will know you mean it. Please...I'm begging you. If no, then tell me now. Say it before it's too late. Whatever your choice...whatever you will or will not demand of me, do so NOW, before it's too late. Is this nothing, really? Or is it more? Can it be more?"

I'm waiting, holding my breath, for your response. My heart is in my throat and when the words leave your mouth I feel the blood rising in my chest from my breaking heart but I swallow it down.

"Yes, I'll ask. Join me. Join us. Betray them all the way. Be with me. It would be allowed. Please. I love you."

And my heart is broken, because it's what I wanted to hear and I know I'll do it and I know it will hurt the other people I love, but you mean more. You always have; in one way or another, you've always meant the most to me. Nothing is stronger that hatred turned to love, because to know someone - to really, truly know someone - you must have loved them and hated them in turn, and in equal measure.

"Then since you asked, yes. I will."

Our hands clasped, one tanned and the other pale and we stared into each others eyes - silver and emerald - and I knew we'd just changed the world.

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A/N: Well? Which one do you think is which? Guess away...I'm eager to see your opinions! Reviews are worshiped and inspire me; I adore reading them SOOO much! Remember, as with all my stories, e-mail addresses get you update alerts when I post more! ~ FA
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