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Angel in My Head	By : Aridethdar Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Voldemort Views: 14773 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the wonderful and lovely JK Rowling does. I do not make any profits from this, writing fan fiction is purely for my entertainment and the enjoyment of others should I choose to share XD lol

Chapter List
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Summary: The ritual to restore Voldemort’s form did far more than the Dark Lord thought. Now the shard inside Harry is aware and willing to help the boy. But will this work for the Dark Lord, or against him?

Warnings: Memories of abuse and Cedric’s death. Voices… Language…That’s all for now I do believe.

NOTE: This will be a Slash/Yaoi or Male/Male story. No likey, don’t read. After saying this upfront, if you leave a flame because you don’t like such relationships I will merely laugh and use the flame to roast marshmallows ~ Thank you. Also, I'm going to try and update this fic every Monday... Mondays suck, so at least some people can get entertainment on that day...right? lol

A/N: I don't do emails when I update, because I can't remember. However, FFN has an alert system and I post the "kid friendly" version on there... if you want to take advantage of their update emails XD lol It's far more reliable than my memory T.T lol I'm also more inclined, and able, to answer reviews over there if you have questions...

Regardless of it's lack of "bling," AFFN is still better! lol

~*~*~*~

Key:

“Talking”

‘Thoughts’

~ Shard Speaking in Harry's head ~

§ Parseltongue §

~*~*~*~

Angel in My Head

Chapter Zero: Catalyst

Word Count: 1889

Beta: she-who-waits-in-darkness (even if she is miffed at me for a dunderhead moment ^^;; Anyone got a memory I can borrow? Mine crap out on me ages ago...)

~*~*~*~

Harry could hear his Uncle’s massive form stomping around near his cupboard door, but he couldn’t seem to care.

‘Why should I? Life is so fleeting… so easily taken.’ Harry thought sadly as the image of Cedric’s last moments continued to replay in his head again and again.

Ever since Harry had returned to Privet Drive he found he couldn’t sleep. Dreams and nightmares alike haunted his slumber and he found that being an insomniac was preferable. That combined with the fact that he would rarely eat, even if he were allowed to, made him… well, to be frank, he was a mess.

One would think that Voldemort’s return, and the ritual Harry had been forced to endure, would be what would haunt him. But no, it was the loss of a precious, innocent, life that hurt. And it was seeing Cedric’s happy face, reliving the few fond memories Harry had of the lively older boy, that hurt the most.

A beautiful Hufflepuff soul, who had had so much potential, was gone from the world.

‘And it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t insisted that Cedric finish with me, that we be fair and tie, then he would still be alive.’

Harry wanted to cry, to mourn, for the loss of such a wonderful bloke… but he couldn’t. Not here. Not in the hell hole that he was forced to return to summer after summer. If he showed any weakness, it would be exploited to the fullest…

With his relatives, they used everything in their power to hurt and degrade and tear him apart. His Aunt used her screeching voice and actions to hurt him. She would shower her precious, “normal”, son with love and affection and wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge Harry’s existence half the time. She would deprive Harry of one of the most basic needs…

In her own way, Aunt Petunia tried to instill in Harry that freaks didn’t deserve love. That to be loved, one had to be “normal.”

‘And I’m not normal… I can never be normal, no matter how hard I try.’ Harry sighed mentally.

Then there was his “dear” Uncle Vernon. The man loved to degrade Harry, to tear the teen down verbally. Vernon was one of those types that doesn’t feel good about himself unless he makes someone else look bad. The kind of bully that covers their own flaws up by pointing out the flaws of another. And Harry was a prime target, because there was no way Vernon would ever say anything bad about his perfectly overweight, mindless thug of a son.

Said son, Dudley, loved to use a more… hands on approach to things. The whale of a boy had the same issues his father did, but instead of merely verbally beating someone down, the bully enjoyed doing so physically as well. And “Harry Hunting” was his favorite past time. Dudders found it to be a “lovely” way to SHOW Harry just how unloved, and unwanted, he really was.

‘And the same doesn’t happen in the Wizarding World?’ Harry laughed sardonically.

Sad but true.

In the Wizarding World, they watched his every move… The place Harry had thought he would fit in, the world he thought he would be accepted and could be “normal” in, was an illusion. There was no such thing. Harry was a freak in a world of freaks, and it was becoming blaringly obvious the more time he spent in the magical community.

The bastards put him up on a pedestal, because he was the “Boy Who Lived.” They admired and celebrated him, made him a celebrity, because he survived the curse that COST HIM HIS PARENTS.

How insensitive could those people get?

And to make things worse, it was as if Harry was some kind of Hollywood celeb or something. They put him under a microscope, and waited in anticipation for him to make a move. They praised his accomplishments with obsessive, fanatic intensity. And when he screwed up? They would happily push him off the pedestal they had so happily put him on!

‘Not to mention they‘re a bunch of hypocritical bastards.’

Had Harry been anyone else, he wouldn’t have even been in that bloody Tournament! They would have figured out a way to get him out of the supposed “contract” of the goblet because he was SEVERELY underage. But did they?

No!

Even the other school heads were for it! They all wanted to see what Harry Potter could do. They wanted to pit their school’s champions against the “Savior of the Wizarding World” to show how amazing their schools are. Didn’t once consider the fact that the so called “Savior” was a CHILD THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN THE REST OF THE CHAMPIONS.

No, he’s Harry Potter… why would they ever consider his safety? Or the fact that someone might have been trying to get him killed? Or the fact that the freaking DARK LORD had controlled the whole thing, including the outcome, so that Harry would end up in a bad situation? So Voldemort would be able to USE Harry and THEN try and kill him…

Nope. None of that crossed their minds, not even once. They had it in their minds that Harry had entered and was lying when he said he didn’t.

Harry would have been delighted if they had used their brains and taken into consideration that they could have used a truth serum to find out whether or not he’d truly entered the Tournament.

And they were supposed to be smart? These school leaders were supposedly the smartest, hence why they got their jobs right? Seriously, how did people like THAT gain positions of power over children? If they could not even consider the safety of one CHILD, then why were they allowed to oversee the safety of hundreds of children?

And after all that Harry had been through, HIS school leader was adding insult to all Harry’s injuries. Now Harry was cut off from the Wizarding World by Dumbledore, “for his own safety.” He couldn’t write his friends, his friends were not allowed to write him… hell, he couldn’t even get a freaking news paper…

Not that he really wanted to read any of that tabloid blather, but at least it was SOMETHING to prove to him, when he needed it most, that the Wizarding World was real and that he was not going to be trapped in the bloody Muggle world.

The issue of abandonment was another issue Harry had a bone to pick with a certain individual. Ron had shunned him and abandoned him more than once, this last time was just the worst is all. Harry would need to speak with the red head about that. It was hard to count on someone, like one should be able to do with a friend, when one wasn’t sure that someone would be there when they needed them most.

‘Speaking of abandonment.’ Harry glared at the door to his cupboard, as if it were the whole of the Wizarding World.

It seemed that every time he needed the magical world, they weren’t there for him. Yet they expected Harry to be there at their beck and call should they be in need of their “Savior.”

And who was there to save him? Where was his Champion? When was his defender going to show up? Save him from his so called “loving” family? The same people that decided, regardless of the threat of a possible mass murderer’s retaliation, Harry was taking up too much space in Dudder’s second bedroom and they threw him back under the stairs.

Aside from the lack of space, now that he was older and slightly bigger, it wasn’t so bad. Why? Because the fat asses couldn’t get in! And they were too big to reach in and get him.

‘Pros and cons to everything.’

Since he was on the subject of pros and cons, he had been contemplating them a lot lately. Like what were the pros of being the Golden Boy of the Wizarding World?

‘None.’

As far as Harry was concerned, being their “Savior” wasn’t worth the hell he went through. Being the Boy Who Lived was a load of bollocks and he honestly wanted out of the limelight.

~ Why? ~

Harry paused. He knew he had been on a rant in his head, but he could have sworn he heard a voice that wasn’t his own… even if said voice had sounded male.

‘Not possible.’ Harry laughed at his silliness.

~ Why? ~

Harry gasped mid laugh, his eyes widened in shock. There was no way that there was a voice in his head asking why… right?

Or was there? After all the shit he’d been through, he wouldn’t be surprised honestly.

‘Might as well humor myself. Why what?’ Harry asked mentally.

~ Why care? ~

‘Why care what? That a voice is possibly speaking in my head, or that it shouldn’t be possible for said voice to be chatting with me?’

~ Why care about the Wizarding World? Why care what they think? Why not use your limelight to your advantage? ~

Well, those were good questions. But was Harry asking himself that, or was there really a voice in his head?

After all the stress he had been through as of late, what with the Tournament and the repercussions of that diabolical, he wouldn’t be one bit surprised if his mind managed to make him an imaginary friend or something to help him cope.

~ You’re nearly fifteen years old and you still believe in imaginary friends? ~ The voice actually had the audacity to sound amused.

That was worrisome.

‘Got any better ideas? I’m trying not to freak out and commit myself to the psyche ward here.’

~ And who would allow you to do such a thing? Surely your “loving” relatives would not wish for their lies of having a “mentally disturbed youth” be true now, would they? And Dumbledore wouldn’t want you to be discredited, especially after you have claimed that the Dark Lord is back. ~

Harry thought about what the voice had said and had to laugh at himself. Was he honestly considering what a voice in his head said? He must be bonkers…

~ Don’t think of me as a “Voice in your head.” ~ The voice sighed and Harry shook his head.

‘Okay… if you’re not a “Voice in my head”, then what are you?’

~ You may consider me an Angel in your head. ~ The voice chuckled.

‘Right, that makes me feel so much better.’ Harry rolled his eyes.

~ It should. ~

‘Of course it should! Unless, of course, one considers that Demons are nothing more than Fallen Angels. And you do seem to enjoy initiating a game of Devil’s Advocate, if your earlier questions are anything to go by.’

Harry could swear that the presence in his mind smirked, but the teen brushed it off at just his imagination.

~ True. ~

Yeah… maybe he shouldn’t trust this “Angel” in his head. Then again, all things considered…

‘What have I got to lose?’

“BOY! You can’t sit around and mope all day! You WILL earn your keep!”

And so another lovely summer day in the life of Harry Potter began…

~*~*~*~

A/N: First story in a while that’s somewhat serious, please go easy on me ^^;; Though I did enjoy the analysis of Harry’s relatives and believe I’m rather accurate when one thinks about it. Ah well. Anyway…

What do you think? Is it worth continuing? (Worth it or not, I'm going to because it's great stress relief so far :P ) Though I'd be happy to know your opinion on the matter!

Just a heads up, I have about 4 other stories I'm working on. I want to post a story a week, actually, to see what people think. Sadly, there is no time to get them all up before next month.

What's happening next month? Well, I'm going to attempt to post a chapter every DAY next month, whether it be to update an existing fic (like this one), posting a new fic, or just posting a oneshot or something... wish me luck! I'm going to need it XD lol Good news for avid readers though I suppose XD lol

[ Posted: September 24, 2012 Updated: September 26, 2012 @ too freaking early in the morning XD lol ]
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Angel in My Head