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The Power of Three	By : Queenie_Mab Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 14386 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations from Harry Potter, created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers: Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Bros. No money is being made and no copyright infringement intended

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Harry sat in an overstuffed purple armchair in the office of Luna Lovegood-Scamandar, Mind Healer. He'd been seeing her for twelve years, ever since Ginny was pregnant with Lily and he began suffering from memories of the war; dead bodies visiting him in his sleep; Fred with a smile frozen on his lips; the still body of Colin Creevey; and the rotting Inferi all haunted his dreams.

Now however, he was here for a different reason. He couldn't sleep with Ginny any longer, couldn't be aroused by her unless he pictured a faceless body lying beneath him and she let him do her in the arse. Ginny had insisted that he speak with Luna about his dysfunction.

"So, Harry," Luna began, bedecked in bright orange maternity robes which made him think she looked like she was carrying a very large pumpkin. "You said you've been having trouble with sex. What do you think is causing it?"

"I dunno," Harry replied, flicking his fringe to the side and chewing on his bottom lip—habits he'd developed ever since the war ended. "I just, I dunno. I just don't want her anymore, I guess," he said, almost whispering, ashamed of his secret.

Luna raised a pale eyebrow at him, sweeping her long, blond braid to rest over her shoulder and lay on top of the lump that was her second set of twins.

"When did this start? I mean, how long have you been feeling this way?"

Harry sighed, flicking his fringe once more. "Honestly?"

"Yes, Harry. It's always prudent to be honest with your Mind Healer."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his face with his hands. When he set them down, his face was warm and red and he looked down at the floor. "I don't think I've ever really loved her, not more than I would feel for a sister. It's been hell these past nineteen years, pretending. I'm fond of her; she's the mother of my children, which is the best thing that ever came of our marriage. She was just there after the war; I was looking for comfort, and it's like everybody just expected us to hook up." He looked up expectantly, waiting for the repercussions of what he'd just admitted to come, but they didn't.

Luna simply looked at him thoughtfully, a dreamy expression on her face, as always. "It's only natural that you'd feel that way, Harry. I'm just surprised that you didn't seek my help sooner."

Harry started. "What do you mean it's only natural? What have you noticed that I haven't?"

Luna smiled, crooking her head to the side. "You're gay, Harry. I thought you would have realised this before now. I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you. I was actually quite surprised when you married and even more so that it has lasted this long."

Harry couldn't believe it. He'd stifled the fact that he preferred blokes for so long, he'd almost forgotten it. Well, not really forgotten, but resigned himself to a life of disappointment.

"Oh, God!" he exclaimed, bending forward, elbows on knees and face in hands. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I figured that it was none of my business and that you would bring the subject up when you were ready. The question remains however—what are you going to do about it?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea," Harry said, bringing his face back up to meet her, connecting with her pale-blue eyes. "What do you think I should do?"

“In my professional opinion you have three choices: stay with Ginny and live miserably; stay with Ginny and have affairs on the side, thus getting what you need; or divorce Ginny and find yourself a boyfriend.”

Harry blinked a few times, trying to take in the frankness with which Luna talked about his future. He shook his head as if trying to get his brain to function.

“Are the Wrackspurts bothering you again, Harry? I’m sorry, but this office is full of them.”

“No,” Harry said. “I just—I’m trying to take in what you’ve just said. It’s all a lot for me to handle all at once. I came in here to talk about my sexual dysfunction and now you’ve just unsettled my entire world.”

“Well,” Luna said, patting her stomach in a tender way. “It’s not my fault you’ve chosen to repress yourself. It looks like time’s up. I have another patient to see. Your assignment for this week is to seriously think about what we’ve talked about and see if you can’t come to a conclusion on your own.”

Harry got to his feet, feeling a bit shaky at the knees. “Thank you, Luna. Same time next week, yeah?”

Luna nodded sagely and Harry let himself out.

There sitting in the waiting room was none other than Draco Malfoy. He was dressed in a grey cashmere jumper over charcoal trousers, looking every bit like a Muggle model. His blond hair was tousled forward over his forehead, probably to hide his slightly receding hairline, but he looked hot and so casual. Harry felt his mouth go dry.

"Potter," Draco said in greeting.

"Malfoy," Harry answered, finally getting his mouth to work properly. "What are you doing here?"

He knew it was a stupid question the moment it came out of his mouth, but he couldn't exactly take it back now.

Draco raised a sharp, pale eyebrow and smirked.

"Sorry," Harry stammered. "It's none of my business, I'll just go then."

"You're looking good," Draco said, just as Harry was turning to the door. He stopped, shocked. Had Draco Malfoy just paid him a compliment?

He turned back around halfway. "Er—thanks. You look really good too. I hope you have a good day." He felt so embarrassed at how daft he must have sounded that his mind was screaming for him to make a mad dash to the door, but he forced his feet to walk slowly, casually, and he placed his hand on the door.

"I hope to see you again, Potter," Draco said, standing up. Harry turned his head back around and said with a shy smile, "Me too." He left.

Once outside the door, Harry leaned against the wall, trying to catch the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. That did not just happen, couldn't have. He shook his head, thinking he just might have a case of the Wrackspurts and headed over to the Leaky to meet Ron and Hermione.

***

He found them easily enough. They were seated off to the side of the pub in the furthest booth back, away from the hustle and bustle of people on their way to Diagon Alley. He slid in beside Ron and picked up a mug of Butterbeer topped with foam. He took a long sip of it before saying anything.

"Hello to you too; we're fine, thanks for asking, Harry," Hermione said, sarcasm lacing her tone.

"Sorry," Harry said. "I just got back from Luna's, and I feel a little shaken."

"Ah, Mate," said Ron. "Memories of the war still haunting you? I know they are me. Hermione here keeps after me to get a Mind Healer, myself."

"Nah," Harry said. "Just other stuff, nothing important. So, why the Butterbeer? I know I could go for something stronger."

Hermione smiled widely, and Harry noticed that all she had before her was a glass of water. "I'm expecting again, Harry. Isn't that great news?"

"Terrific," Harry said, hoping to sound enthusiastic, but his mind kept wandering back to the gorgeous body of Draco Malfoy and how hot he looked sitting cross-legged in the waiting room at Luna's.

"Something on your mind, mate?" Ron asked. "You seem a bit preoccupied."

"Is it to do with Ginny?" Hermione asked. "She's been acting a bit odd lately, too. She's not pregnant again, is she?"

"That would be spectacular," Ron said.

"No, not exactly," Harry said, taking another gulp of Butterbeer.

"Oh, does it have to do with your—" Hermione lowered her voice, "—dysfunction?"

Harry nearly spit out his mouthful. He forced it down. "She told you about that?" he asked, face growing red.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Harry. It happens to a lot of men of your age."

Harry rubbed at his eyes under his glasses with both hands before taking them down and laying them face down on the table top.

"I'm only thirty-six, Hermione. Ginny has no business discussing these things with you."

"What dysfunction?" Ron asked, finally catching up to the conversation.

"It's none of either of your business. I'm leaving. Ginny has some explaining to do."

"Now, Harry wait," Hermione said, concerned. "Ginny just needed a friend to talk to about it. It's really eating at her. I hope you're getting help from Luna, but maybe you should see a professional Healer at St. Mungo's instead."

"I don't care what her reasoning is," Harry nearly shouted. "It's private business between us, and you're the last person I want her confiding in about it. You're one of my best mates—hell, you're my sister-in-law now. I've gotta go."

He stood up and straightened the worn red jumper he was wearing: a Molly Weasley classic.

"All right then," Ron said. "Take care of yourself."

Harry turned and walked away, but he heard Ron ask Hermione again, "What dysfunction?" and Hermione's quiet voice answering him. He'd had enough. Ginny definitely had some explaining to do. He walked through the Leaky's back door and Disapparated with a pop to turn up in front of his house in Godric's Hollow. He'd had his childhood home rebuilt and that is where he'd raised his own family.

He barged in through the front door, letting it slam behind him. "Ginny!" he shouted up the staircase.

"What?" Her reply floated down.

"Get your arse down here and talk to me!"

Ginny came down the stairs, stomping hard with each step.

"Harry James Potter, don't you dare take that tone of voice with me. What the hell crawled up your arse and died?"

"Why did you tell Hermione about my problem? That was meant to stay between the two of us and Luna," he added as an afterthought.

"Well, I had to talk to somebody, and you won't talk about it."

Harry felt his face colour with anger. He fought it back. "I'm going to have a drink, and I'll be sleeping in James' room tonight, so just—get out of my face," he spat.

He walked to the dining room and pulled out a bottle of Firewhisky from the sideboard, ignoring the glasses. He picked up that day's copy of The Daily Prophet and walked past Ginny who was still standing in the middle of the living room, on his way up the stairs.

"Harry," Ginny said quietly.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"What's happening to us?"

"I don't know, Gin. I just don't know," he lied. "I'll see you in the morning; we'll have a talk then, yeah?"

"Yeah," she answered and went to sit down in the rocking chair she had used for all three of their children. She picked up an old teddy bear and hugged it, rocking quietly.

Harry shook his head, suddenly ashamed at himself. He wasn't going to let it stop him from getting pissed though. He went into James' room, laid down on the bed, took a long draught from the bottle, wincing as it went down, and opened The Prophet.

***

Harry felt velvet warmth surrounding his cock, while his balls, heavy and full, were being fondled and rolled with a firm, practised hand. He arched his back throwing back his head as he came with a shout. He looked down to meet cool grey eyes and then sat up quickly, sweating and covered in come from his dream.

He lay back down and threw his arm over his eyes when he heard the door creak open.

"Harry?" Ginny's voice asked from the door.

Harry was glad he was still covered and further pulled the blankets and sheets up.

"What?"

"Are you all right? I heard you shout. Did you have a dream again?"

"Yeah," Harry answered, in all honesty, though he wasn't about to tell her the details of it.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Ginny asked, concerned.

Harry's head pounded and ached from the Firewhisky. "No. Go back to bed. I'm fine," he said insistently.

"Well, if you're sure that you're okay," Ginny pressed.

"Gin, I'm fine. I'm trying to sleep. I told you we'd talk in the morning."

"Harry, it is morning. It's nine o'clock. Get yourself together and come down for a pot of tea. I'll be waiting for you." She left and shut the door.

Fuck, that's all he needed. What he really needed right now was a sobriety potion, but with none at hand, good clean water would have to do.

He syphoned the come off his stomach with a quick Tergeo and threw the blankets down, never more thankful to have a wand at his disposal. He pulled on yesterday's clothes and felt like he was walking to the gallows as he took each step down the stairs, ever closer to the kitchen and the coming conversation.

He entered the kitchen to find Ginny already seated at the table, sipping a cup of tea. She gestured him to take the seat across from her and he sat down, apprehensive.

"So," she said, voice sounding like she was trying to keep her temper cool. "Why were you such a berk last night? You didn't need to talk to me like that."

"Well," Harry answered, head throbbing at this point. "You didn't need to tell Hermione about our marital problems, particularly the ones involving my sexual function. Christ, Gin. She's my best friend next to Ron; why did you think talking to her about it would be a good idea."

Ginny huffed. "I can't keep my frustrations bottled up like you can, Harry. Do you realise the last time we had sex was three months ago and it wasn't even good? You did me up the arse. I don't know why you have problems getting it up lately, but it's ruining our marriage, and I'm not going to hang around if you can't give me what I need. You won't even go down on me, ever. It's not fair to me."

Harry stared at his empty teacup, concentrating on its pattern of blue roses. The set had been a wedding gift from Bill and Fleur. He sighed, but didn't answer.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Ginny asked, hysteria creeping up in her voice. "Did you at least talk with Luna about it? Do you need to see a physical Healer? Talk to me, Harry."

"It's not you, Gin. It's me. I did talk with Luna, and my problem is psychological."

"Psychological how, precisely?" Ginny asked.

"You really want to know the truth?" Harry asked, still staring at the pattern made by the blue roses. It was very pretty.

"Of course I want the truth. I'm your wife. You need to talk to me when we are having problems, full disclosure. What's the worst that can happen? I don't know how we can fix things if I don't know what you're thinking."

"The truth is that—" Harry put his face in his hands, not daring to believe what he was about to do. "The truth is—"

"The truth is…" Ginny repeated. "Just spit it out, Harry."

Harry took a deep breath and let it out; he raised his head to meet Ginny's dark brown eyes.

"I'm gay," he finally admitted, and felt as if a great weight had just been lifted from him, until Ginny responded.

"Sure, pull the other one. You married me, a woman. We have three beautiful children; I've never seen any sign of you cheating on me or even looking at another woman—" she stopped. "Another woman," she repeated. "Have you been checking out men, is that it?" Harry watched as she swallowed hard.

"Ginny, I'm sorry. It's just the way it is. I've always been this way; I can't help it."

"Why the fuck did you marry me, then?" Ginny asked, genuinely hysterical. "I want answers and I want them now."

"Gin, the war had just ended and I needed somebody and everybody—including you—just expected us to end up together, so I stifled that part of myself and vowed to make it work with you. It's just that, well, with the kids gone and everything, I just feel like my true self is surfacing and I—you—I'm just not attracted to you. I'm sorry; full disclosure, like you said."

"Get out!" Ginny hissed.

"Gin, be reasonable."

"I said get out! I don't want to see your face again. Go stay at the Leaky. I'll have your solicitors draw up the papers and arrange a time through Hermione for you to fetch your stuff. Just leave and don't come back!" She was crying throughout her tirade, her face blotched and red.

Harry didn't expect this reaction, but felt as his head still throbbed, that he probably deserved worse. "Fine. I'm going to pack a bag, and then I'll Disapparate. I'm sorry."

"Fuck you, Harry. Get your shit and get the fuck out of the house!"

Harry worked his way back through the living room and up the stairs to pack. Damn Luna. If she'd only kept her mouth shut, he could have pleasantly lived in denial for the rest of his life. It would be better than having his wife chuck him out. And the kids, Merlin, what were the kids going to think about it? "Fuck," Harry said aloud as he folded another pair of jeans into his old school trunk. He just hoped to hell that Ginny wouldn't be so vindictive as to go to the press about it.

***

Harry flooed Luna for an emergency consultation from the fireplace in his room at the Leaky Cauldron.

She'd said she'd be over as soon as possible, and Harry paced the floor waiting for her knock at the door.

An hour later, after chewing his nails down to the quick and tugging at his hair so that it stood up on all ends, looking ten times worse than usual, Luna finally knocked on his door.

He opened it. This time she wore robes of a deep royal purple that would put Dumbledore to shame and swung her long, blond braid over her shoulder, letting it hang down on the right side, slightly off-put by her round belly.

"What's the emergency?" she asked as casually as if asking about the weather.

"Ginny's chucked me. I told her I was gay, Luna, at your suggestion, I might add, and now my life has turned upside down. Ginny hates me. What if Ron and Hermione start? What if my children hate me? What if word of it gets to The Daily Prophet? I've never even kissed a bloke before, and my life's gone to shit. It's not fair. I haven't done anything wrong!"

He finished, nearly panting his words. Luna just gazed at him with her familiar dreamy expression.

"I'm very proud of you, that you've finally admitted it to yourself and your wife. She deserves to know."

"Luna, it doesn't matter how proud of me you are, the point is that my world has been upended, and I don't know what to do about it. I was hoping you could help me figure a way out of this mess."

"May I have a seat?" Luna asked, as if ignoring his complaint.

"Yeah, sit. I'll have Tom bring up some tea."

"Never mind that," Luna said serenely. "I think you ought to sit down, too, so we can discuss your options."

Luna and Harry took seats at a rickety old wooden table off to the right side of the fireplace. Harry held his hands clasped together on the table top.

"What options do I have? I can't think of any," he said, frowning.

"You have plenty of options. Is Ginny divorcing you?"

"I think so. She said she was going to speak with the solicitor today, so I assume she's trying to figure out how much she can take me for for lying to her all these years. Oh, God. This really is all my fault isn't it? Why did I have to be so weak so many years ago? Why can't I have made the right decisions back then?"

"Harry, you're going to get nowhere if you keep questioning your past. Besides, without your marriage to Ginny, you wouldn't have three beautiful children." She rubbed her belly as she spoke.

"Yeah, I guess," Harry agreed, although he was worried sick about how James in particular was going to react to this revelation.

"Okay, options. You ought to think about getting a job."

Harry scoffed. "Luna, I'm too old to get a job now. I always wanted to be an Auror, but they wouldn't take a recruit of my age on, and if they found out I'm gay, I doubt anybody would want to work with me. I'm surprised you can even stand to me near me."

Luna closed her eyes and slowly opened them. "Harry, why do you think you are such a freak just for being gay? You can't help it just as much as you can't help being a wizard, oh—"

Harry stared at his hands, looking for a new place to chew on his fingernails and then looked up. "What?" he asked

"I just realised that the reason you might feel the way you do about being homosexual stems from your childhood spent with those awful Muggles. I don't suppose they condoned homosexuality, just like they refused to acknowledge the existence of magic. It's been ingrained in you."

"Well, tell me then. How am I supposed to feel? I've just outed myself before I've even done anything close to being homosexual, and already Ginny's thrown me out, and she's basically said she's gonna tell Ron and Hermione. Hermione might understand, but Ron? I don't think he'll be able to look me in the eye ever again. It's like I'm going to have to start all over and make new friends and fuck! I should just kill myself and end it all. This is too much, Luna! Too much for me to handle!" By the end of his tirade, Harry was seriously considering splinching himself on purpose.

"Harry Potter," Luna said, her voice still calm and serene. "You're making too big of a deal out of this. Homosexuality is not exactly embraced by the wizarding community, but it isn't unheard of either. One of my other clients is struggling with some of these issues right now, but he's embraced that aspect of himself and is learning to deal with it."

"Does he have a boyfriend?" Harry asked with a snort.

Luna raised her eyebrow questioningly. "No, he doesn't as a matter of fact. Would you like me to introduce you?"

"Luna, I was joking. Besides, you shouldn't be able to tell me such things. The confidentiality charms are binding."

Luna laughed. "Oh, Harry you do amuse me. I never use confidentiality charms. They're far too much of a hassle and they attract Viscous Verdabra like mad."

Harry stared at her aghast. "Have you told other people about me, then?"

"Only in reference to your symptoms, never your name. Harry, you can trust me. Nobody knows who I'm talking about. It just makes them feel better to know that they're not the only ones out there suffering."

"Fine, that's just fine. I still feel like a fucking freak; when does that go away?"

"That's what I'm telling you, Harry. You need to develop a routine, something to centre yourself around while you come to terms with who you are. Being an Auror sounds exciting and all, but I'm thinking more in the terms of working at a tea shop or a bookstore or something similar."

"I'll think about it, Luna."

Luna gave him an appraising look. "I'm serious, Harry. I really do want you to think about it. We'll meet at our regular time next week unless you need me before then. You're not suicidal, are you?"

Harry met her penetrating gaze. "The thought had crossed my mind, but no. It'd kill the kids if I did something like that, and it wouldn't be fair to my mother's memory. I won't kill myself."

"Good," Luna said, struggling to her feet. "Just know I'm a floo call away if you do need me. You're not alone in this and I think you should give your friends a chance before you draw conclusions about them."

Harry sighed and got to his feet. He showed Luna to the door. "Thanks for being so understanding, Luna. I really appreciate all that you do."

"You're welcome," she said, giving him a swift kiss on the cheek. "Good bye for now then."

He shut the door and stood with his back against it, still as confused as ever, but wondering if there may actually be hope for his future. Maybe he'd go out to a Muggle club and try picking up a guy. If he was going to be outed for being gay, he may as well act gay.

That decision made, he headed for the small attached bathroom to shower and shave and get ready to face Muggle London that night as a newly free homosexual man.
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The Power of Three