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Years of Burden	By : Polypectron Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 6695 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and SSHG is not canon. This is a work of fiction. I am not profiting from it. All characters, places, objects and realities belong to J K Rowling and the Potterverse.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to J K Rowling and if you don't know that they you must be really confused when you read these fanfiction stories. The events happening during the tale are either made up of taken from the book or the movie and may or may not be in chronological order depending on the stories needs.

Polyplectron

CHAPTER ONE - Enough Is Enough

"Eat Severus"

Albus Dumbledore peered warily over his half-moon spectacles. Earnest concern etched across his features at the sullen man who was pushing cuts meat around his plate, clearly having no intent on eating.

"I do not need instruction to eat," hissed Snape under dull sheets of hair. He was finding it difficult to keep a hold of his fork and placed it down gently with a shaky hand.

"It would not be necessary if you were to tend to your more primal needs properly," castigated Dumbledore, "How it worries me Severus, that you have been administered to the hospital wing not twice but thrice this week. You cannot sustain yourself on pepper up potions and girding potions. Enough is enough."

Enough was enough it seemed as Snape suddenly summoned what energy he had to thrust himself off the chair behind him and stand. It teetered and slammed backwards against the stone floor. The sound seemed to drown out amongst the clamour and chatter of the Great Hall, much to Snape's pleasure. He sneered at the Headmaster.

"Yes Headmaster," he threw his napkin on the plate for good measure. He was not usually one for theatrics but he was truly perturbed at the Headmaster's accusations that he purposely disregarded his own health. "Enough is enough. From now on I will take my meals' in my office. Out of sight, out of mind!" with a mighty huff, Professor Snape turned and stormed out of the Great Hall, his dark cape billowing angrily in his wake.

The Headmaster stared after his colleague, a small frown appearing on his brow. Once Snape had disappeared through the Great Hall doors Dumbledore released a terse sigh and cradled his blackened hand under the table. Severus really is a stubborn young man, the old man mused, how can he ever expect to be useful to me if he keeps putting his own health in danger.

Despite the series of events that brought Snape and Dumbledore together, the aging Headmaster had come to care for Severus over the years on some level. Through pity or sympathy he could no longer tell. He was still very aware of the reasons why Severus was where he was today and he wondered if the man's allegiance to Lily Potter was still paramount. Without her influence over Snape, where would he be this very day?

In Azkaban?

Dead?

No, it was wise not to lose one's mind on endless possibilities. Never the less, Severus Snape was still the same selfish little boy who had entered this very hall twenty five years ago. A little boy who had his heart set on being broken and had an aptitude for dark magic and now was cursed to suffer the rest of his life because of it.

Albus Dumbledore was not foreign to Snape's youthful fascination for powerful magic and desire to love and be loved in return. He once became lost in his endless conquest for eternal power but it only ended up hurting him and those he claimed dearest. Not many knew his involvement with Gellert Grindlewald but their relationship had expanded that beyond what can be found on a chocolate frog card. His youthful admiration and infatuation with his old friend had been his undoing. Grindlewald's hunger for the Dark Arts and the Deathly Hallows had resulted in his imprisonment in Nurmengard.

Raising his golden goblet of fine sherry to his lips, Dumbledore closed his eyes and took a long sip. His brother hated him and his sister was dead. That was the price of power. He got what he wanted, the Elder wand, the Resurrection stone and the Invisibility cloak. All three Deathly Hallows were in reaching distance and in his command. Everything he and Gellert had wanted. For the Greater good. For years against his better judgement, had wished to visit Gellert one last time for reasons only a rational person would describe as selfish. Now that he was slowly dying, perhaps he should indulge himself. . .

Minerva McGonagall bristled at Professor Snapes abrupt departure and eyed Albus suspiciously. She was not aware of Snapes decline in health but was indeed aware of his increasingly brash and humourless attacks on her Gryffindor students as of late. She waited until the Headmasters finished his sherry to address him.

"Albus, I have to discuss a certain Head of Slytherin's behaviour as of late," purred McGonagall, "Are you aware he has taken over one hundred points from Gryffindor this week? It's preposterous and utterly ruthless! I am all for a healthy bout of house rivalry but I am afraid he is taking it well over respected boundaries."

The feather in her hat kinked roughly as she tossed her head back and forth animatedly, emphasising her frustration at her colleague. The Headmaster nodded vaguely, placing his goblet on the table and resting his head on knitted fingers.

"Minerva, I am fully aware of Severus's deduction of house points and I will rectify the problem. I worry for him Minerva, he seems to be neglecting his health. I cannot have my Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher too weak to defend himself. It is indeed affecting his work ethic and I have expressed my concerns but as you can see it seemed to anger him and he is no longer present."

McGonagall sucked in a harsh breath at the sight of Dumbledore's blackened hand. At her notice, Dumbledore gently lowered his hand under the table and smiled wearily at her.

"Alas, this little ailment of mine is resistant to even the finest concealment charms. But fear not Minerva, is nothing to feel so distraught over." His lie did nothing to take the fire out of his colleague's eyes but McGonogall said nothing of the matter.

With a pop, the deserts materialised on the table and Dumbledore's mood instantly lightened. Calling himself sentimental, he eagerly grabbed a clean spoon and scooped into the steaming pudding. He rested his free hand on his golden goblet and stroked the turquoise stones lining its curves. It was his favourite goblet, given to him by Gellert. Knowing that he had still managed to keep it after all these years seemed to soothe him and remind him of happier days. McGonagall responded with a tight lipped smile and a deep frown as she turned her attention to a small lump of coconut slice that had also materialised.

"You have to put an end to this," she chewed, "I fear that maybe Severus has turned for the worse with the fear of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named looming over us but one must not lose our heads. Only through solidarity can any of us survive and I am telling you now," she lent in close, "a cat and a snake do not do well locked together under hostile circumstances. Eventually one will kill the other and I sure as hell will not go down without a fight," she pushed back in her seat and cleared her throat, "but in all seriousness, I will no longer tolerate his abuse of staff privileges, he needs some bloody good counselling!"

Savouring the satisfaction of bread and butter pudding in his mouth, Dumbledore neglected to respond straight away. Instead he looked out over the sea of students. Happily eating their Sunday night feast and swapping important gossip of the week amongst them. Some of the older girls at the Slytherin table giggled at a group of boys at the Ravenclaw table. A few Hufflepuffs were sitting at Gryffindor table discussing the upcoming Quidditch match and a few younger Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's were in a heated discussion with the Fat Friar who looked nothing but amused.

Looking closer he could see Harry Potter. The young lad was laughing at Ronald Weasley whose mouth was overflowing with food. Next to Ronald sat a very unimpressed Hermione Granger and embarrassed Ginny Weasley. How carefree these children were, he envied them. Swallowing, Dumbledore broke into a small smile. Grateful that the boy was still enjoying himself for only the worst was yet to come. It did not do well to dwell on the upcoming battle and forget to live in the present while one freely can choose to do so.

~O~

Hermione Granger felt eyes upon her and looked up at the head table. The Headmaster tilted his head forward in acknowledgment to her. He seemed to be having his head bitten off by a very disgruntled Head of House who was eagerly wiping shredded coconut off her emerald green robes. She smiled sympathetically at the Headmaster who returned the gesture. Turning back to Ronald who now seemed to be choking on his food, she scalded his disgusting behaviour.

"Does not seem like such a very good idea now does it Ronald? Now you're choking! Do you honestly think Ginny and I are impressed after behaving so grotesquely?"

Harry slapped Ron on the back roughly and Ron sucked in a harsh breathe, he coughed and slowly regained his breath. Ginny and Hermione sat rigid with arms crossed over their chests. Looking slightly ashamed he turned to face Hermione first,

"Harry dared me to do it! You can't blame us for wanting to have a little bit of fun."

"Ron your idea of fun is vile" she snipped. "Now a poor house elf has to come and clean up all the mess you made" she indicated to the chunks of food now covering the table.

Scoffing, Ron used to sleeve of his robe to wipe his face, "Loosen up Hermione, you need to relax"

"I am relaxed," she argued, "I'd just like to enjoy my dinner with my friends without being showered in meat and mashed potatoes!" whipping herself down Hermione noticed one of her a text book had a smidgeon of potato smeared across its cover, "Look what you have done Ronald! My Numerology and Grammatica book has potato on it!"

"It's only a stupid book Hermione it'll come right out with a scourgify"

"No Ronald, you cannot scourgify this book is made of leather. You have to clean it by hand with diluted water, pat-dry it using a micro-fibre cloth and then you must apply a moisturiser to stop it from drying out. "

"Wash a book? You're mental! Mum uses scourgify books and it works just fine for her. I'll show you," pointing his wand at the book, before Hermione could react, Ron yelled scourgify causing the cover to wrinkle. Harry and Ginny watched awkwardly as Ron realised his mistake and Hermione turned from pink to red.

"S'pose a thank you is out of the question then"

"Ronald Weasley! I told you not to do it! Why on earth would you cast sourgify when I specifically told you not too?"

"I was only trying to help 'Mione there is nothing wrong with your book it's just a little wrinkly. You have to calm down, it's a bloody wonder you can keep any friends these days with that attitude. Don't be so ungrateful."

Ginny and Harry's jaws dropped. Hermione looked stricken.

"How dare you say something so hurtful to me." she whispered. Picking up her shoulder bag and shoving her wrinkled Numerology and Grammatica into it she pushed up out of her seat and walked out of the Great Hall, passing through the Fat Friar in her wake.

"Nice going Ron, you always say the most stupid things! You two are never going to end up together at this rate, you are such a bloody git!"

Ginny pushed up from her seat, seething at her brother and ran off after Hermione. Turning to Harry, Ron had a look of confusion on his face,

"What is there problem Harry? I don't understand it at all. It seems anything I say to these girls they take it all so seriously. Nothing I say ever comes out right. It's like they are just meant to hate me, I mean I was only trying to help her out a bit."

"I don't know mate," answered Harry, "I am just as confused as you but you really shouldn't say things like that to Hermione and she did tell you not to scourgify her book. You know Arithmancy is her favourite subject and besides after obliviating her parents earlier in the year, we are really all she has left. You think she really wants the idea of her not having friends on her mind?"

Harry picked up his spoon and resumed eating his pumpkin soup. It was cold now, but he did not mind that much. He allowed Ron to muse over his words. It was bad enough the impending doom of Voldemort's retaliation looming over them but having his best friends quarrel was something he did not need right now. It was so hard to watch them bite at each other's throats when their attraction was so obvious. He wished Luna had come over and sat with them, she always knew just what to say.

Albeit whatever Luna says is usually very unusual, it would be enough to distract any awkward tensions over to her. Since she is so awkward. . . . and kind of cute.

"Yeah I guess so," slumped Ron, "I don't know what Ginny's all on about though. Me and Hermione? Yeah that's a laugh, me and her. . . . well, we are just friends. Good friends."

"Sure thing mate" offered Harry, absentmindedly, his attention had been distracted by Draco Malfoy standing with his goons and exiting the Great Hall, casting Harry a hateful look in the process.

I know you are up to something Malfoy, thought Harry, and I am going to find out what.

~O~

Severus Snape sat sullen in his worn club chair. The threads were pulling at the seams from age and years of picking compulsively at it while reading many scrolls of student parchments. In one hand he held a glass tumbler with no ice and in the other a bottle of Odgen's Firewhisky. Staring blankly at the roaring fire in front of him, he poured himself another drink. The bottle was almost finished, he could make out about an inch or two left until he reached the bottom.

"Not a bad effort."

Long ago had he ditched his heavy dress robes and buttoned up jacket, sitting only in his trousers and black dragon hide boots. Slowly, he kicked off his boots and carelessly kicked them over the other side of the room, aiming for a black chest; it was about a metre in length, a half metre in width and stood a mere forty five centimetres, with Anglo-Saxon carvings etched into the wood. It was covered with his discarded clothing. Normally he was anally retentive about folding what little clothing he owned to ensure longevity bit tonight, he so lacked in energy that he had not bothered. Flexing his toes in the dark shag carpet he let the tumbler slide out of his hand onto his side table.

His chambers were spacious enough to suit him. Lining his walls were rows upon rows of leather bound books, hard cover literature and manuscripts. Sheepishly he had neglected to read over half of them as many were obtained via unwanted gifts, Death Eater raids and various potions books Dumbledore thought necessary for his practice but still lay unopened and unappreciated. Every now and then an obscure object would be propped up against a book containing watery specimens and suspicious powers he valued to highly to keep in his storages. He always tried to keep his texts and potion supplies separate but they always found a way to coincide. The lighting in the room was dark, which he preferred, but he did have one large overhead light which he used for reading. It was charmed to hover over him so he could move about the room while he read.

While he sat in his stupor he tried his hardest to avoid looking at his accursed ink. One decision made in his youth that could not be taken off via laser removal. As if sentient the Dark Mark sent a small but noticeable pinch up his arm, demanding his attention. Looking down, the ink seemed to darken, appearing more vivid and ominous than any other moment in their time together. Ignoring the tattoo he closed his eyes he was welcomed with a familiar sight that had plagued his thoughts tenfold for the past six years.

Lily Evans hovered in his mind's eye, plain as day. There she stood always silently screaming at him, with those hurtful green eyes he was cursed to see very much alive every working day of the week.

"Cease your nag!" he moaned, grasping his head in pain, "You always yell at me, do you have nothing better to occupy yourself than haunt me? Am I not suffering enough?"

The woman flicked her red hair and shot a scathing look at him. He opened his eyes.

"How many times must I beg for forgiveness?"

He picked the tumbler back up and knocked back the remaining liquid. It burned his throat on the way down causing him to double over and choke. He coughed to regain his composure and in anger threw the tumbler at the fireplace and it smashed into tiny pieces, shattering over his clothing and dragon hide boots. The fire hissed in retaliation.

The sound seemed to encourage him as he then picked up the Ogden's, sculled the rest and threw it as well into the fire. To his disappointment it did not smash but the label took to the fire quickly and the smell of burning plastic filled the room.

"Shit. Aqua Eructo!"

He drunkenly pointed his wand at the fire. A powerful jet of water erupted from his wand and collided with the fire. It smashed into the fireplace with such force that Snape was propelled backwards and fell hard behind the club chair.

Cursing he muttered the counter charm and his wand ceased fire. Wet, cold, drunk and angry Snape willed himself into unconsciousness. In waiting, he closed his eyes and Lily reappeared, bending over him. Her arms were crosses but she did not appear to be yelling at him. If anything, she looked at him with a world of pity.

"Do not pity me," he slurred

As he fell into a restless slumber his reading light hovered over him. Illuminating his sullen skin, it clung tightly to his frame; his hip bone jutted out awkwardly and strained against the rim of his trousers. His greasy hair lay limp across his face, covering his unseen tears that began to trickle out of his eyes as he slept.
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Years of Burden