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I have lived two lives	By : Citrinepheonix Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 9517 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Everyone thinks that I’m cold, unfeeling and greasy potions master. But it is all an act, a glamor if you will, for the world. I am a spy for Dumbledore’s army ever since the first war and a Vampire. I acted like the loyal death eater but in reality I was the Potter’s closet friend, well Lily anyway. No one else knew of our hidden friendship, and other than Albus no one else knew of my Vampire Heritage. On the few times I visited them before the fidels charm, the three of us would spend our evenings laughing. It was my last visit to them before they went in to hiding that I met their son, Harry. He looked like a carbon copy of his father in everything except his emerald eyes. As soon as our eyes met I knew he was my future mate. I instantly cared and loved him. At this time I felt nothing sexual, only love and the desire to protect him from the war going on around us. I wanted so much to keep him close, but I knew with my double life I could not. So that night I treasure ever second I spent with him, memorizing the way he giggled and cooed. I even memorized the sound of his crying when I went to leave, although it broke my heart. I knew that I would not see him again until Voldermort was dead.

As soon as I found out that sniveling little man, Pettigrew, gave The Lord the Potter’s location my heart sank. I had shoved that may up against the wall and squeezed his neck until he gave my information I needed to save my friends and my mate. I only barely spared the man’s life due to the fact that Potter’s lives where far more important. I apparated to their hiding place only to find the house practically in ruins and the sky seemed to roll with thunder and lightning as it started to rain. I quickly moved through the rumble, hoping they were still alive. Then I heard Harry’s cry. I ran through what was left of the house, jumping over what looked to be James’ body, to reach Harry. I found him in his cradle wailing as he reached out toward the floor, where the lifeless body of his mother lay. I fell to my knees as I pulled her into my arms. Crying as rocked he lifeless body. I cried for the loss of my only true friend and because my mate lost his mother.

Harry still continued to cry from his cradle and I quickly put Lilly down before scooping the infant in my arms. Harry continued to cry into my chest as a bounced and rocked him. It was several minutes before he started to calm as his hands gripped my robes. He looked up at me then with his emerald eyes shining even in the darkness and I felt whole. But then I felt the presence of The Lord in Harry. With a flash of thunder I saw on his forehead a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt, red and bleeding. I knew then that part of The Lord’s soul was there. I never hated the man so much. His body was gone, but his soul was still here. I should have known he had a backup plan. My Harry was not safe, especially not with me. I would need to be spy again, to protect him when the Lord came back.

I silently kissed Harry on his cheek before I put him back in his crib. As if on cue I heard the crack of apparation. I looked out the window to see Black. I knew he was far safer with him, than with me. With one last look I turned to leave. Harry seemed to know that I leaving to never return and he began to cry again. My heart pinched with pain knowing I could not comfort him. I kept moving forward, never looking back as maneuvered around Black. He never knew I was there. I quickly made my way to Albus and explained to him what I saw. He agreed with what I had found. Albus began to make plans to help protect the boy and sent Hagrid to pick up Harry. Understanding what was going on I quickly left to my own manor where I drank myself to sleep. I awoke several times that night screaming from the nightmares of seeing Lilly’s dead body and the cries of my mate.

I spent my days since then working all the time to distract myself, so to not going looking for Harry. As a Vampire I did not require much sleep, but when I did I was often haunted by that night. I spent years in a routine when I found myself becoming addicted to dreamless sleep potion. I began to wean myself from the potion know it would only do more harm than good. It was a year later when I was able to finally get a decent night’s sleep and then it was only because I sought out Harry. I went to his relative’s house in the dead of night. The charms around the house would notify Albus of my presence, so I stayed afar. But even so I could smell him and it calmed my soul. I wanted so much to see him, but knew it was impossible. I did not go back after that night and simply waited until the boy turned 11.

When he came to Hogwarts and I saw him for the first time it took all my will power to not swoop him in to my arms. It was not until my first class that I got a closer look at him. He looked like his father, but shorter and a lot skinner. I could tell he was not feed well and I was disgusted but how his relative treated him. Even though I want to cuddle him and give him the nutrient potion he obviously needed, I simply played my role. I made him hate me. I hated myself for it. His beautiful emerald green eyes spent most of the year looking at me with hate and distrust. My instincts screamed at me to ask forgiveness, to tell him the truth. Then I would look at the infamous scar on his forehead and remember I was doing this to save him.

Each year became harder and harder for me, but before the beginning of sixth year I cracked. I had been visiting him every summer, although he did not know it. I hated watching his muggle relatives beat him and made him do all the work around the house while their lazy ass sat around all day. I always kept my distance until one night his uncles’ normal beatings turned even darker. He had Harry bent over naked from the bottom down and was about to rape Harry when I snapped. In a second I had the bars over Harry’s window vanished and I was strangling the man. I watched in fascination as his face started to turn blue and purple from the lack of oxygen.

“You think you have the right do as you please you lazy pig.”

I wanted him to pay for all the pain he caused Harry, but it was my mate’s whimper that caused me to let that fat oaf to fall to the floor.

“Get out” I spat, before turning to see the emerald of my mate staring at me in disbelief.

Without thinking I was at his side looking over his wounds. His body was covered in bruises. I quickly pulled a jar from my pocket and unscrewed the top. I began to rub the ointment over every bruise and then I once that was done I reached into my pocket again to pull out a very potent nutrient potion. I simply handed it to the boy with simple word of “drink”

He stared at me unblinking for a few seconds before downing the potion. Satisfied I turned to the almost barren room, seeing that his uncle had indeed left the room during my examination of Harry.

“Accio Harry’s belongings,” I said as I flourished my wand

I heard a crack of wood breaking just before Harry’s school trunk flew into the room and landed at my feet.

“Is there anything else you value in this house that you want? You will not return here.”

“Only Hedwig,” was his quiet reply

“Alright… Get dressed and then release her. We will bring her cage with us”

Harry moved to do as asked. He put on his oversized hand me downs. I shook my head in disgust and knew that as soon as possible the boy was going shopping for proper clothes. After he released Hedwig I quickly shrunk down his trunk and the cage putting them in my pocket. I pulled him to me and apparated away from privet drive.
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I have lived two lives