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The Easter Fiasco	By : ChimaeraChan Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1571 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Title: The Easter Fiasco
Author: VoxFuriae
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Genre: Slash, AU, Complete
Rating: NC 17
Warnings: hints of Beast
Summary: In the ATtD Universe, We take a look back when the Marauders were in school and Remus Lupin has started to gain control of the wolf, but only after losing his mind first.
Author Notes: So I've been on a like... five year? break from writing and felt the best way to get back into it was to finish up some short fics. I really wanted to go into the little bunny incident Remus mentioned in Awakening To the Dream – these two are such a cute couple.
Beta: Not yet. ^^; You’ll have to wait till after I finish the first draft for your eyes to stop bleeding. >D
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
CH1
It had been a very trying day for Remus Lupin, his friends having once again found a way to make his life a living hell. This was not completely surprising, since it had been a very normal occurrence the last seven years of knowing his friends. But lately things had been tough on Remus. It had started when only weeks ago they had nearly gotten Severus Snape murdered by Moony.
Today, somehow, seemed to be even more irritating.
“James?” Remus spoke softly, tapping his short nails on the dining room table in irritation.
James, quite involved with his head bent over his hands, did not respond right away. “...Hmmm?”
Remus tried again, first counting slowly in his head. “James.”
“Err...”
“Damn it, James, get on with it!” Remus crashed his fist down.
James turned slowly from his subject of concentration to eye his angry friend. Remus was practically foaming. Unusual for the prefect.
Sirius smiled behind his glass of pumpkin juice; James hadn't even flinched when faced with Remus's glare. Quite the accomplishment given Peter was still MIA since that morning's incident in the common room.
“Listen, you.” James shoved his glasses up to their proper place on his nose, matching Remus's glare with a spectacular one of his own. “I can't concentrate with you badgering me, and if I can't concentrate, I can't get this done. So stop your yapping and wait. We wouldn't even have to be sitting here if not for you. I think you owe me a bit of a bloody peace.”
With a final glare, James whirled back to what he was doing, completely missing the small scuffle when Sirius had to grab Remus to keep him from attacking. The surrounding Ravenclaws inched away from the rowdy trio that had been placed at their table, trying again to rationalize why they were being punished.
Calming himself, Remus reached for his parchment and then immediately dropped it with an annoyed sigh. Sirius nearly choked on his juice as he tried to hide his laughter at the situation.
“Why does it have to be my quill again?” Remus asked softly, but there was a hard edge to his voice no one missed. The Ravenclaws scooted another inch away down their table.
“Because everyone knows the Scripters Sleek Quill with ever-flowing purple ink has the best range, and you're the only one that owns one.” James repositioned his arm, watching the flow of traffic in the Great Hall as he tried to gauge how much force he would need. He spared Remus a quick side glance. “Must I remind you that this is completely your fault?”
“Will you shut up and shoot already!” Remus hissed back. “I want my bloody quill. I have homework to do.”
Much to Remus's distress, James turned all his attention to him, his task forgotten. “You have the whole weekend for homework. Enjoy your Friday like a normal kid.”
“You have a whole weekend. I don't.” Remus leaned over and manually turned James in his seat, back towards the Gryffindor table where the first years could be seen huddled together, some of them crying and all of them pale and panicked.
James blinked up in surprise, all former hostility forgotten. “Already, Moony? I didn't realize...” James smiled apologetically, but Remus only frowned back, a small tick appearing over his eyebrow.
“Prongs, think very carefully,” Remus warned softly.
“Huh? What are you...?” Realization dawned in James's eyes. “You still have a good two weeks.” James's glare returned. “Well, if it's not your time of the month, Miss Lupin, then what's the big deal about this weekend?”
“Bloody fucking prat!” Luckily James had been expecting this and neatly rolled out of his seat when Remus dived across the table, because it took Sirius a good minute to get the sandy haired werewolf under control while trying not to succumb to the laughter bubbling up in him.
“Let go, Siri!” Remus roared, twisting madly in Sirius's grasp. Remus only managed to get pinned by the taller boy in his agitated state. Glaring at James's arrogant face, Remus willed something to smack the crowing boy in the face. Being a wizard, it worked, and the sugar bowl made a lovely thwacking sound against the side of James's head, sugar pouring into the boy's unkempt hair and onto the floor.
“Is that the best you got? It was bloody green!” James dodged the plate and glass, but his glasses went askew right when a jug of pumpkin juice was hurtling at him, and he was thoroughly drenched seconds later.
Remus was just about to send a plate of macaroni to top it off, but his concentration was broken by a very blue faced Sirius. “Not again, you idiot,” Remus sighed exasperatedly. “Come on, let me up so I can get my wand.”
Sirius doubled over, tears streaming down his face in silent laughter. “Honestly, it wasn't that funny,” Remus growled. He pushed Sirius off his legs and grabbed his wand, quickly stupifying the boy. Remus graciously caught Sirius, pillowing the dark head on his lap while he waited for Sirius to catch his breath.
There was a blue tinge fading from Sirius's lips as he breathed again. Remus stared transfixed, wondering if he were to kiss Sirius at that instant if his own lips would turn blue. Maybe if he just ran his tongue over them for a moment... Catching himself, Remus shoved Sirius off his lap and quickly enervated his friend.
Remus was relieved to see that Sirius looked almost normal, but the manic grin was all too quick to return. Remus ducked, but it was too late and James soared into him, sending all three into a hysterical pile on the floor.
Dumbeldore smiled bemusedly while, slowly and surely, the children sitting around the three quarreling Gryffindors moved to the other side of the table. Minerva had informed him about the incident with Mr. Lupin's medication that morning, but Albus had not imagined the results would be quite so amusing.
Eyes a twinkle, Dumbledore sent a calming spell their way, and waited for the trio to take their seats at the nearly deserted Ravenclaw table.
The trio's own Gryffindor housemates had grown quite agitated with their antics. It seemed Dumbledore would have to send the three with the Hufflepuffs next meal... No, not the wisest move, he decided as his eyes fell on the surprisingly polka dot faced Gryffindor third years. Certainly not the Slytherins, that was a bloodbath waiting to happen. Black was far too vulnerable in his condition, and Potter and Lupin would undoubtedly attract negative attention with their temperaments being so poor.
The castle had yet to reveal the location of poor Pettigrew. Hopefully the boy was unharmed and merely hiding like Dumbledore suspected. He had spied a familiar plump rat on the seventh floor... Maybe he should send one of the portraits to the Room of Requirement, just to check on him.
For the moment, Dumbledore was going to have another helping of custard. He had tried to explain the inner complexities of the dish to Minerva and Poppy, but surprisingly they had not seemed thrilled by the magical properties of the 'gelatinous matrix.' Ah well, perhaps Hagrid would like to debate it with him. Dumbledore had another delicious bite, smiling dreamily.
“Brilliant man, that Dumbledore,” James said happily, setting up his quill-a-polt and turning it towards the Slytherin table.
“Uh huh,” Sirius agreed through a mouthful of food. He hadn't been able to eat anything solid all day for fear of choking, and was making up for it with speed and enthusiasm.
“Whatever,” Remus grunted from his slumped position on the table. The calming spell was nice and all, but he still felt like shit. Now chocolate, that could solve wars. But no, Dumbledore just threw spells at everything. Git.
Sirius gave an abrupt chuckle, and Remus looked up suspiciously. Either his friend had caught his thoughts with his new trick, or the calming spell was wearing off. Remus hoped it was the latter. He did not need Sirius picking up on the thoughts going on in his twisted mind. Especially the very indecent thoughts that seemed to be manifesting more and more frequently.
Remus licked his lips, wondering just what a blue lipped Sirius would taste like. Of course, Sirius's normal dusty pink lips were just as enticing... as were the shiny black lipstick version that Sirius had been sporting at the Halloween party that year. Staring at his friend gulping down his meal, Remus's thoughts drifted off to what he could do with such tantalizing lips. Quickly moving to what Remus would prefer to have them wrapped around when Sirius licked his fork.
Remus had a fair suspicion that Sirius Black knew his way around a blowjob. And if not, Remus would be more than happy to instruct him on the finer points. It was during such a thought, where Remus was fantasizing blowing Sirius in the crawlspace under Honeydukes, that a sudden tremor shot through Remus and he fell from his seat gripping his head.
Sirius and James exchanged worried glances and peered under the table at their fallen friend. “Gods-be-damned... Bloody itch!”
“This again.” Sirius reached under and pulled Remus up to his feet. “Just see Madame Pomfrey. She cleared mine up just like that.”
“I do not have fleas!” Remus snarled, wrestling his arms from Sirius's grasp so he could put it to better use scratching.
Remus glanced sideways at Sirius, looking for any signs that he had been trying out his Legilimency skills at the table. Sirius seemed as normal as usual. Sure... he smelled like a fifty-foot sign that screamed 'Fuck Me!' but that wasn't unusual. “I don't know what this is,” Remus whimpered. “It's not normal. Are you sure you didn't prank me?”
“Do you really think we'd admit it when you're in such a foul mood—I'm kidding! Keep your knickers on.” James backpedaled away from the vicious glare. “Really though, you've been testy all month. As amusing as it is, we prefer your lovable old self. And hexing you doesn't usually bring out your good side.”
“Mmm, today is a brilliant example of that.” Sirius batted Remus's furiously scratching hands aside and spelled the itch away. “It's only temporary. Really, I'll go with you to Pomfrey's. It's just a jiff.”
Remus bit his tongue to keep from snarking something rude. Sirius was only trying to help. It wasn't Sirius's fault that every time Remus looked at him, or thought of him, or smelled him that horribly rude thoughts popped up in his head. “Fine. I have to see her tonight anyways. It's not fleas, though. I check after every moon.”
“Right, right...” Sirius guided Remus back to his seat, refusing to meet his eyes. “But you know how much Paddy likes your sheets...”
“Sirius!”
“I'm just saying...” Sirius shoveled some food into his mouth to keep from furthering the conversation.
“You, you... damn it!” Remus slumped back on the table, peering through his bangs to see if anything was jumping around. It did nothing for his mood, so Remus went back to scowling at James, who was still trying to set up a good shot.
“Give me my quill.”
“Umm... no.” James smirked gleefully.
“You can't defend yourself without your wand. I will hex you,” Remus said simply, his hands itching to do just that.
“No you won't. Someone has to take care of Sirius.”
“He's right, you know. Everyone else just lets me pass out.” Sirius's head throbbed at the memory.
“Exactly. If you get caught they'll confiscate your wand like they did mine, and then poor Sirius will end up laughing himself to death.” James frowned down at his quill-a-polt, and changed the trajectory back to his original targets. Down the room the Gryffindor first years gave a terrified shriek. “Hey, where is Wormtail? I thought he'd be back by now.”
“No, no, no! Don't mention Peter!” Sirius whimpered frantically. “If I think of him, I'll think of this morning, and then I'll start laughing again!”
Remus turned towards Sirius, a vindictive light in his golden eyes. “Fluffy blue mittens.”
Sirius gaped, eyes wide. Moments later he was doubled over laughing. James removing Sirius's plate to keep him from knocking it over. “That was pretty low, man.”
“Shut up. You're next,” Remus growled, meeting James's troubled gaze.
“Calming spells don't work that well with us, do they?” James asked, smiling wryly.
“Not with the shit you're on.” Remus did not smile. He barely breathed. “Shoot. It. Now.”
“Fine,” James huffed. Furrowing his brow in concentration, he skillfully aimed the quill-a-polt. A small green ball arched above the occupants in the crowded Great Hall and landed with an elegant plunk in a large jug of pumpkin juice at the Gryffindor table. The trio had a full thirty seconds to school their expression to that of apathetic innocence before billowy smoke began to rise from among the Gryffindor first years.
A voice boomed above the growing confusion. “What mere scrap of mortal dare disturbs I, Harock, Demon of War and Eater of Children?
Whatever else Harock, Demon of War and Eater of Children had to say was drowned out by three dozen piercing screams fanning from the Gryffindor first years out through the whole Great Hall.
“Harock? He's so played,” Remus scoffed, snatching his quill back and quickly scribbling the end of his Herbology paper.
James shrugged, his eyes shinning manically beneath his cold expression as nearly the entire school rushed the door. “I think Sirius is dead,” he said, motioning to their blue friend slumped over in Remus's plate, macaroni piled up to his ears.
Remus nodded distractedly and gave the unconscious boy a shove. Sirius fell to the floor unceremoniously and relearned the joys of breathing while Remus finished his paragraph on the properties of pink truffles. “At least someone thought it was funny.”
James glared before turning back to the show. Harock gave a billowy leap in their direction, the surrounding Ravenclaws staring dolefully at the trio before packing up their things and scampering to safety. Huffing as his victims fled from the room, James went back to picking at his food. He began flicking bits of macaroni at Sirius's unconscious form, waiting for Dumbledore to finish sorting out Harock so the man could then sort out them.
“I want a divorce,” James demanded.
Remus rolled his eyes and flicked a stray pea at the boy. “Draw up the papers, darling. I could use the child support.”
“You're not getting a knut, you home wrecker!” At some point the absurdity of the joke had been lost on James, and he got unsteadily to his feet as if he were in a drunken rage. He didn't like peas, he later rationalized. Being bombarded by flying green balls wasn't fun for anyone, the first years would readily attest to that.
“No judge in their right mind would give you child support! Look, you've killed Sirius! How's that going to look, one child dead by your neglect? Poor Peter is off hiding for his life because you're such an abusive mother. Think of poor Ratboy!”
“Oh, for heavens—!” Remus slammed down his quill, purple ink splattering the table. He took a deep breath to calm his anger, which had no effect whatsoever, and stood up to look James in the eye.
“There is going to be a time once those pills are out of your system. You are going to come to me. Admit you realize how the whole situation is entirely your fault. Apologize for the great grievance you have caused me by stealing my medication and being an all around prat. I will accept your apology. Tell you I understand you were too ignorant to know better, and how it could have happened to anyone. I will then proceed to beat you, repeatedly, until you literally understand first hand how much you have destroyed my life, James Potter.”
Snarling, Remus pointed to Harock who was happily knocking over flatware while teachers struggled to contain him. “You're a bad father! I win by default!”
*****
“And how did this make you feel?”
“Angry.”
“I see... And why do you suppose you felt angry?”
For likely the hundredth time, Remus glared at the muggle clock situated high above the door. Remus used to spend all his time glaring at the door itself, but had eventually realized it wasn't the door's fault he was stuck there, but time itself. Contrary to popular belief, time did not fly. Time didn't even drive. Time was a cripple, pointlessly dragging itself over a field of steep, painfully jutting rocks with only the movements of its chin to get from point A to point B.
“I suppose because I was angry.”
Dr. Kadowi scribbled something in his notebook and nodded absentmindedly. “This anger... where do you think it stems from?”
Remus blinked, glared momentarily at the door he couldn't go through, and then back at the clock that represented why. “Well... it's not from my pet owl, now is it?” he finally answered flippantly.
“I'd rather think not,” Dr. Kadowi chuckled, completely ignoring Remus's obvious wish to be anywhere but there.
Remus asked again if he could leave, but Dr. Kadowi only smiled wider. “What made you angry? Was it because James, in his altered state, continued to be irrational and attacked you with words and fists?”
Remus pondered this for a moment. “Yes.:
“Or was it Sirius, who had no choice but to laugh, even when faced with such a serious and dangerous situation as you being unbalanced from your lack of medication?”
Remus pondered this as well, and nodded. “Yes.”
“Perhaps Peter, who reflected only fear? Fear, which you have always expected and dread to have faced at you because of your condition.”
Glaring at the ceiling, Remus nodded again. He wondered briefly, since the doctor knew all the answers already, if he had to be present. Remus asked this. Dr. Kadowi smiled, and wrote something in his notebook.
“Now Remus, you are well aware that your friends' behavior after taking your powerful mood balancing medication was not how they normally are. The things they did at that time cannot be taken to heart since they had no idea what they were doing. They were not themselves at the time.”
Remus saw the logic in this, and could agree as such.
“Right, so you can see they were not responsible for their actions. This means you can stop being angry with them. Let the anger go, Remus.”
“No.”
“What?”
“No.” Remus glared at the clock, found it to be 3:00, and got up to leave.
“Hold on, Remus. Where are you going?”
“Time’s up.” Remus picked up his bag.
“No, we're not through yet. We were just on the verge of a breakthrough.”
Remus didn't know quite how to break it to the doctor that he wasn't even close to being correct with that statement. Instead Remus slung his bag over his shoulder. “The session is over, doctor. We can have a breakthrough next time.”
Dr. Kadowi pursed his lips and carefully placed his pen on his notebook. “Sit down, Mr. Lupin. I will decide when it is time to leave.”
Remus narrowed his eyes, and glared blankly at the black sofa. He considered sitting, it was a rather comfortable seat after all. Then he realized as authoritative as Dr. Kadowi though he was, he wasn't any sort of Time God, and walked out the office door. The clock cheerfully goodbye but Remus never heard it over the doctor's outraged yell.
*****
“And how did that make you feel?”
Remus snapped his eyes open, the unsettling feeling of deja vu smacking him on the head. “...Like you just smacked me on the head.”
Remus glared up at Jon, which was short for Dr. Jonathel Reed, head authority on Psychology, Physiology, and Temperament of Werewolves in the Transforming Magical Disease Department centered in London. Remus then closed his eyes again for the next array of poking, prodding and all around annoyances that Jon brought along with his research.
“Aw, cheer up, kid. It'll get better.”
Remus snorted derisively, examining the back of his eyelids for leeks. “Have you ever had a chance to study a werewolf that was going through puberty?”
“Nope. You have the pleasure of being my first,” Jon said cheerfully, right before he stuck a needle into Remus's arm.
“Then you really don't know if it's going to get better, do you?”
“Hmm... Suppose I don't, love.” Jon finished hooking up the IV drip, and went to work getting a skin cell sample. “I still stand by my assumption though, as unfounded as it is.”
Remus pouted. There wasn't much point being gloomy if no one was affected by it. “Did you check?”
“No need. I checked earlier.”
“Check again.”
Jon raised a brow, and jabbed something into the boy's side. “And why should I do that?”
Remus sighed. “Because it's itchy!”
“Right now?” Jon asked, a little surprised. He leaned in to poke at Remus's honey colored locks.
“Well, not now... but it was yesterday when I was in the Great Hall. Oh, and in class, and even when I had been getting ready for school. There's something wrong with me,” Remus declared. “I think I would be the greatest authority on something being wrong with me.”
“You'd think that, but then why do I have all those diplomas, and gain barely any income for my well documented, prestigious work?” Jon mussed, carefully sifting through Remus's hair.
“Because you use your line of work to face your questions, not only of your mortality, but of the inner subconscious beast that hides in all humanity?” Remus supplied innocently.
Pausing, Jon blinked down into the warm honey eyes. “Have fun with Dr. Kadowi?”
“Obviously not,” Remus huffed. “Did you know he now believes he controls time? I'm going to a nutter to be diagnosed as a nutter. It's ludicrous.”
“Well, I suppose a nutter would be the best authority on the subject of mental failings... How are your friends? Have they killed anyone yet?”
“Not from lack of trying. Peter ran off and no one has seen him since... Oh, and James divorced me in a fit of delusional rage.”
“He'd have to be del—Wait, can you cook?”
“Fantastically.”
“He'd have to be delusional.” Jon patted Remus's hair back in place. “Want to get hitched? I make an amazingly poor salary for a doctor.”
“Sorry, I'm a sadist, not a masochist,” Remus replied glumly.
“No, I suppose that wouldn't balance well. It does give us something in common though.” Jon pulled out a gruesome looking contraption that he had yet to explain the proper purpose of, even after all the years Remus had been in his care. “What about Peter? From what you've told me, he could certainly use a big strong wife?”
Remus pondered, yelped as he was poked quite painfully, and dismissed the notion. “Peter's hardly a mouthful. Not much point if I wake up finding I've eaten him in my sleep... Actually... that could be why no one can find him...” Remus turned this over in his mind and then shrugged. It seemed like something he would have remembered.
“Well, if you aren't imprisoned in the near future, you should try Oh-So-Serious Sirius. Although you'll likely have a time catching him.”
Remus pondered. His brain froze. And he pondered again. “Oh-So-Serious Sirius is just far too serious to have a wife. He has a string of mistresses, and what self respecting wolf would put up with that?”
Jon frowned, staring steadily at the top of Remus's head. “You're still angry over the Snake, eh?”
“Yes.”
“Oh-So-Serious Sirius is oblivious?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm... Marry the Snake.”
Remus scrunched his nose. “Ewww.”
“Would you rather eat him?”
To his own surprise, Remus nodded.
Falling silent, Jon carefully cleaned up the area, moving scientific and magical devices aside so that he had room to sit. “I'm scheduling another appointment for you with Dr. Kadowi tomorrow.”
“What? Why?”
All silliness gone, Dr. Reed gave Remus a measuring look. “Do you know what happens to a werewolf that is harboring a grudge?” He leaned in, staring right at the beast below the surface, and then focusing on Remus's startled eyes.
“You are giving the wolf a great source of power. You are giving it a way out. Now, you can either put this behind you, or you can kill Sirius. Otherwise that anger is going to keep growing in you, and one day you will wake up in the cage the wolf is in now. Your body will kill and infect all humanity around you, everyone you love, and you'll only be able to watch and regret. I don't think that's what you want, Remus.”
“I, uh... of course not.” Remus stuttered, wringing his hands anxiously. “It's just... If I tell him, confront him... I don't want to kill him,” he finished flatly.
“You don't think you can let this go?”
Remus studied his hands intently, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. “No.”
Not completely surprised by the answer, Jon nodded and handed the boy his handkerchief. If it had been anyone but Sirius, Jon suspected Remus would have been able to forgive and forget. Remus's behavior as of late, and a few long discussions with Dr. Kadowi concerning revelations from Remus's visit a month ago, gave Jon a fair idea what was haunting the boy. Unfortunately, Remus needed to figure it out for himself, hopefully before he lost his senses completely.
“Now, for your itchiness,” Jon abruptly changed the subject. “As you are well aware, you are the first recorded werewolf of your age. As a wizard, this time of your life would normally focus on your exritus and magical powers awakening. Lycanthropy mutates the body on a genetic level, a lot like an exritus, but with a set goal and the addition of the wolf personality infusing magic into the host.
“I believe what you're experiencing now is your wizard blood striving for the natural changes brought on by your exritus conflicting with your lycanthropy. This is why you've been so moody, experiencing phantom pains and twinges. I know that you're going to vehemently reject the notion, but I'm taking you off the mood elevators until you get yourself sorted out.”
He was right, Remus did not like that notion at all. “I have quarterly exams coming up. There's no way I'll be able to pass with my mood swings. Hell, you can't expect me to go back to Hogwarts at all like this! I'll beat up half the population and end up suspended. How can you do this to me!”
Jon calmly let Remus rage, steadying the IV so the boy didn't pull the needle loose. “Are you done?” he asked once Remus had quieted.
“No,” Remus snapped defiantly, adding a few curses for good measure.
“Right. I'm taking you off the medication. Whatever you will be experiencing, I need you coherent with no drugs to mask and confuse your symptoms. We can't help you if we don't know what's wrong.” Jon said it in such a reasonable tone that Remus was forced to nod in agreement.
“Also, you're attending school. It's hard to say how long this part of your development will last, and Dumbledore, your parents and I all agree that you cope best while with your friends. Madame Pomfrey will be there to keep a sharp eye on you, so if things go to hell we can get you back here in a jiff.”
This also seemed reasonable, but Remus was tired of being reasonable. If he was going to be out of his mind indefinitely, he certainly didn't want his friend to be exposed to it. “And what if I decide to go on a killing spree without my meds?”
“I wouldn't recommend it. Actually, I would go so far as to recommend against any sort of activity at all where mass murder is featured. Although it may seem like a good idea at the time, and quite the stress reliever, it will undoubtedly lead to more problems than when you started out.”
Remus huffed unhappily. It was all getting to be a bother.
“I would also recommend you avoid Sirius for the duration. If you can't settle this Snape business like a man, you will only end up settling it like a wolf, and we've already ruled out killing sprees as a suitable activity.”
Closing his eyes, Remus nodded. “That probably would be best.”
Jon smiled sympathetically at the boy. “You'll be meeting with Roberta tomorrow to go through your physical. We're adding on a new test so don't be alarmed. It's just to help us try to predict when your exrtius will occur, since it quite clearly had no regard for your birthday last year. After that, your parents will be down. I suggest you use the time to stock up on chocolate for the upcoming weeks.”
Remus grunted noncommittally. As much as he loved chocolate, he would have preferred a cocktail of happy red and blue pills.
*****
Remus was having an amazingly good dream. There was a bit of a question as to what made this particular dream so amazing since most of it consisted of vague, blurry blobs and shapes. Remus imagined that it had to do with the way the largest blurry blob was rubbing in the most peculiar fashion against him. Actually, he was quite sure this was the reason, for as peculiar as it was, it was also amazingly good. It was so amazingly good that, upon waking, it took Remus long moments to realize that the large blur from his dream was in fact a very solid, very furry, unblobbish dog.
The wolf in Remus was overjoyed to see Padfoot. The boy in Remus was also overjoyed, but in a far more restrained amount. The murderous wolf in Remus was, as usual, feeling murderous and was not happy to see Padfoot or anything in general for that matter. Upon conversing with the murderous wolf, the more pleasant wolf remembered that Padfoor was also Sirius, and immediately stopped rejoicing. The six hundred year old ghost in Remus saw this, realized the boy was a werewolf with serious issues, and floated away, leaving Remus chilled and confused.
“I hate it when they do that,” Remus remarked to the dog that wagged its tail in a yes, nosy ghosts are troublesome manner.
At this point the boy in Remus had started paying attention to the wolves' conversation going on in his head. He glared at the dog and wiggled away. “Get out of my bed.”
Padfoot gave a low whine, his tail flopping as if to say how bad it would be to move from such a comfortable bed, and maybe some peculiar rubbing would cheer Remus up.
“Now!” Not waiting for a tail-thumping rebuttal, Remus skillfully kicked the dog on the snout, sending Padfoot rolling to the floor in a blur of blankets and human limbs. “Owww...” Sirius called petulantly from the floor. Remus ignored him, sitting up and pulling his blankets back in place.
Sirius eventually fought off the pull of gravity enough to crawl his way up the side of the bed, a brightly cheerful, tinfoil-wrapped chocolate bunny in his hand. “What the hell is thi—ow!”
Sirius dropped the rabbit and pulled his hand to safety, eying the new tattoo of teeth shaped marks on his palm with a frown. Once certain they were in fact human induced and not the result of some random wild animal he and James may, or may not have, let loose in the dorm room, Sirius turned his frown on Remus.
Remus patiently ignored him and continued to rot his perfectly cavity free teeth on the chocolate Easter bunny.
“Someone's still in a foul mood,” Sirius commented darkly, sucking on his hand to help numb the skin. Remus, eyes caught on the motion and mind going back to thoughts where Sirius had other, more wicked things in his mouth, merely growled in response and bit the head off his rabbit.
“If this is about the fleas—“
Remus growled again, louder. Sirius narrowed his eyes. “If this is about the fleas, I had the house elves go over your bed for hours on end to make sure none were there. They then confirmed none were on me, and Paddy as well. Happy?”
Remus's growl went down a notch, but not by much. This bit of news did in fact make him happy, but since he was already in such a foul mood it had little effect. This was the same for the pound of chocolate Remus had just eaten. Taking the leftover tinfoil, he carefully rolled it up so no crumbs escaped and then lobbed it at Sirius's head.
It was Sirius's turn to growl, and before Remus could get up and escape to the bathroom, the brunette had dived at his legs, bringing them both down with a crash to the floor.
“Also, if you were curious, Dubledore was able to flush us free of your medication. And James and I are back to being as reasonably balanced as when we started out. And we won't be dying from any unseen adverse effects in the near future.” Sirius managed to grit out before Remus elbowed him in the shoulder and pinned the boy down with his surprisingly strong form.
“I wish I could say the same for dear Peter, but we've yet to find him since he is still full of his insanely irrational fear and yet to reveal himself.” Flat on his back with a hundred and forty pound werewolf that could lift ten times his weight sitting on his chest, Sirius had to wonder just how irrational Peter's fear really was.
Remus in turn had to wonder if he had eaten his friend and had just forgotten in one of his hazy rages he was recently prone to when not having his medication. Remus debated getting up and checking his breath for traces of rat, but Sirius gave a low whine and Remus was compelled to stay and painfully wrench the boy's hands above his head.
He could fuck him right then and there, Remus realized slowly while Sirius's body heaved beneath him. No one was around to see, or to stop him. Sirius surely wasn't strong enough to fight him. And really, Remus had a difficult time thinking the boy would put up much of a struggle when Remus could feel Sirius's hard erection pushing against his thigh. Remus could strip him, fuck him, and claim him before anyone came back from breakfast.
Times like this, Remus really wished he wasn't in love with Sirius Black.
“Did I mention I'm sorry?” Sirius added earnestly, taking it all in stride as Remus glared down at him and twisted his wrists painfully.
“Very sorry. The pills were right there, and you know how Padfoot gets. They were very pretty and blue, and Paddy is well, very stupid when it comes to such things. It all went well for a bit, very well with happy thoughts about things in general—and then the vomiting. Followed by the hysterical laughter that literally proved the question of if one could laugh to death when Dumbly had to send me to St. Mungo's to get my heart beating again.”
Sirius paused at this, thinking back to his near death experience Remus had missed while away on weekend. He shook the thoughts away, focusing on Remus's still angry face.
“I am horribly, terribly sorry for causing you so much trouble, Moony. And I hope you can find it in your heart to not kill me.” Sirius smiled crookedly, noticed Remus wasn't returning the smile, and smiled wider as his stomach tripped over not completely unpleasantly. He pushed his hips up to relieve the pressure building there, wishing silently that Remus would get a damn clue already. “Please?”
“I am extremely angry with you, Sirius Black,” Remus said very slowly, and very clearly.
This seemed to surprise the object of Remus's rage. Sirius blinked up in confusion, not sure what to make of his friend's menacing tone he had never before had the misfortune of hearing directed at him. Or what to think of the way Remus had drawn out his full name like that, like the way his parents used to when he had broken something expensive and theirs. Remus was angry with him. Remus was very angry with him.
“If this is about the fleas...”
“Stay away from me, Sirius, or I will kill you,” Remus said quietly, and with such an air of finality that Sirius knew he had somehow lost one of his best friends.
Eyes fixed on the shocked blue-gray gaze, Remus let Sirius go and stood. Remus didn't think about the strange numbness that had replaced his anger. Sure, it would hurt now, but it was better than Sirius lying in a puddle of blood by Remus's hands.
“Wait... Remmy, wait...” Sirius called hoarsely, scrambling unsteadily to his feet. “What—Why!” He pulled on the blonde's arm, Remus turning coldly to meet his frantic gaze.
“Let go.”
“No! What the hell—You can't just—Why!” Unable to form a coherent sentence, Sirius gripped Remus's arm tighter, hoping to physically do what he verbally couldn't by keeping the shorter boy there.
Remus consequently thought of how no one was around to stop him if he decided to push Sirius up against the wall and fuck him senseless. A wave of dizziness swept over Remus, red building behind his eyes. “Stay away. I will kill you.”
Once again shock flickered across Sirius's face. Narrowing his eyes, he dropped all emotion and tightened his grip on Remus's arm. “No.”
Remus nodded imperceptibly, resigning himself for what he had to do next. Five minutes later Remus was disappearing into the bathroom and Sirius was on the floor with a broken leg.
*****
James stared, gaping at Sirius. Sirius looked, for possibly the first time, as his name suggested. “I don't think I heard that right.”
Sirius shook his head. “No, you heard it just fine.”
“Kill you?” Sirius nodded glumly.
“What the hell did you do!” Clearly this was Sirus's fault because Remus was not the type to threaten anyone, never mind his best friends. The boy had been moody as hell lately, but Remus was not prone to violence unless his wolf form was donned. Sirius knew this as well, and had been racking his mind ever since James had kindly taken him to the Hospital Ward.
“For the life of me, I don't know,” Sirius said. “Paddy ate his chocolate stash last week, but Remmy had been content with the normal yelling and sulking, and had even thanked me when I got him those goodies from Hogsmeade. There's the thing with the pills, but I was expecting some sort of beating combined with silent sulking for a few weeks. He-he broke my leg! Why?”
Sirius grabbed frantically at James's shirt and added with a subdued, anxious whisper. “He hates me, Prongs. If you had seen his face—He's never going to talk to me again. What am I going to do?”
“Okay. Okay... let's try to go over this logically.” James carefully removed the hands strangling him and held them still. He hated to see his happy-go-lucky friend like this, especially when Sirius had finally gotten away from his abusive household. Not many people knew that the carefree, playful face that Sirius showed was a mask covering years of pain and mental trauma at the hands of his twisted family. Sirius clung to his friends and to lose even one of the three closest to him would lead to the boy falling apart.
“Go over exactly what happened this morning. You must have done something.”
Sirius screwed his eyes shut and nodded. “Alright... I noticed Remmy must have gotten in last night because his bed hangings were shut. I figured he'd want to see Padfoor to cheer him up...” Sirius's reflexive smile faded when he saw James's expression.
“What have I told you about sleeping with my wife?” There was a distinct warning in James's voice.
“Ex-wife,” Sirius reminded darkly.
Instead of following up on the credibility of James's delusional divorce, James poked his friend in the chest painfully. “Do you remember why I married Moony?”
“To try and make Lily jealous, get an O in Muggle Studies, and destroy my life,” Sirius snapped, poking James right back.
“To keep you from hitting on your friend and losing him forever, you stupid git. Padfoot or not, stay out of his bed!”
“But I lo—!” Sirius stopped, realizing just how loud he was shouting. Glaring around the hospital ward, Sirius leaned forward and hissed into James's ear. “What pleasure do you get from ruining my life?”
“This is to keep you from ruining your life,” James hissed back. “You do not court the furry impaired; they court you. If he wants you, he'll come to you and it will be forever. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for a big fall.”
“And I've told you a gazillion times; I Don't Care!”
“And I've told you that he's far too emotionally unstable for a life long relationship right now. If you push, he's going to shut you out forever,” James said knowingly. “Fuck around. Wait a few years. Don't force him to start thinking about this shit now.”
Sirius shook his head dully. “I'm over it. I am so over fucking around and waiting. I nearly lost him over the Snape thing.”
“Completely your fault.”
“Completely,” Sirius agreed glumly. “I nearly lost him then, and it made me realize how much he matters to me.” Sirius plucked lightly at a lint ball on his cast. “And now he wants to kill me.”
“You didn't try anything, did you?” James asked after a few moments of thought.
“No! What kind of a person do you think I am?” Sirius glowered, folding his arms haughtily. “I was a perfect gentleman.”
James didn't buy it for a second. “What about Pads? Don't pretend that horndog didn't try something.”
Sirius blinked. “Oh.”
“Oh?” James echoed. “Tell me he didn't...”
“Umm... just a little,” Sirius answered sheepishly, finding the floor suddenly very interesting.
“Define a little,” James growled, ruffling his dark locks in frustration.
“Err... a little.” Sirius shrugged. “Remus smelled so good. And his skin was so soft... Gods, but he's gorgeous...”
Watching Remus sleep had been one of the few indulgences Sirius had allowed since he'd fallen for the scruffy werewolf. There had been a time when Sirius had been able to get some of his frustrations out by wrestling with Remus, but lately he'd had to refrain from that. Mostly because Remus had become quite moody and taken to using his full strength to painfully restrain Sirius. Not that Sirius disagreed with the experience. Only that at those times Sirius had gotten too close to the edge and nearly giving himself away, glamours and all.
“Idiot,” James sighed. “I should have left you wallowing on the bloody floor.”
“I know, I know...” Eyes averted, Sirius offered the only thing he had. “I swear I'll never get between you and Lily again if you fix this for me, Jamie. No teasing, no sneaking, no pranks; I'll drop the big brother thing and let you two figure it out on your own.”
James stared at Sirius, his worry building. “Are you saying that because you're desperate, or because you think Lily is worthy? Because if its the former then don't bother. You're family, man, and I don't want you to change, even if you're a bit overbearing.”
Sirius cracked a smile, leaning his head against James's shoulder. “She's a good kid... Bit bossy, but I imagine you need one like that to keep you out of trouble.”
James nodded. “Alright then... I save your friendship and you stay out of my love life.”
“Then you have a plan?” Sirius looked up hopefully.
“Not yet, but I will,” James promised, and Sirius was quick to believe. James always figured everything out. Be it pranking, schooling, or saving friends from a bad family situation, James always pulled through in the end.
“You're the best, Jamie boy,” Sirius muffled into his friend's shoulder, not missing the smirk sent his way.
“Yeah, yeah, you too, Siri. For now I think you better just avoid Moony until we figure out what's going on. You getting all torn up isn't going to help much. Thankfully you get to spend the night in Madame Pomfrey's capable hands.”
Sirius gave a sarcastic, woe-tinged snort. “Do my homework for me?”
“I think the least you deserve is a day doing homework, prat.” James pushed Sirius away lightly and stood. “I'll snag you some entertaining reading concerning the wolf. Maybe it will keep you from your persistent habits of stupidity.”
“Doubt it.”
“Mmhmm,” James agreed, walking out the door.
Left alone, Sirius plopped back in bed wishing he were somewhere more private than the hosptial ward so he could wank. Ever since Remus had pinned him that morning, Sirius had been fighting a raging hard on, one that had been difficult to charm unseen when in so much pain with his leg.
Remus's new attitude was making it worse, Sirius realized dully. Sirius had always had a thing for when his mild, well-read friend lost his cool and yelled, or swore, or even on the very rare occasion, fought. It had always left Sirius jolted and wanting to pounce.
But this... This new thing where Remus growled, snarled, and was overly surly for no particular reason caused a much stronger reaction in Sirius. It made him weak, literally. Sirius nearly fell every time he caught a look at Remus surly and brooding. His knees would give way and loins alight all at the same time. Remus's snarls made Sirius say words like 'please' and 'yes' and 'sorry.' And Remus's growls made Sirius want to bend over the nearest surface and spread his legs in offering.
He was very messed up, Sirius decided. Closing his eyes, he wished he were back in the dorm room with Remus on top of him, glaring and growling at him, hands wrenching his wrists painfully.
The memory still burned in Sirius's body of the way Remus had lifted him up and pushed him brutally up against the wall. At the time, Sirius had been certain he was going to be buggered and that he would not survive it. Remus's eyes had glowed in the dim light, twin fires burning into Sirius's soul. The werewolf had pinned Sirius's arms above his head and pressed his full body up against Sirius, forcing Sirius's back and ass painfully into the wall.
How Remus had missed Sirius's very prominent erection was baffling, and Sirius had a suspicion that Remus had in fact noticed. And that Remus's following action had been to taunt Sirius.
Remus had leaned in too close to Sirius's face and whispered a spell into his ears, so that when Remus moved his hands away Sirius's were still stuck to the wall. Struggling had little effect, and Sirius had quickly stopped when the more he couldn't break free, the more aroused he became. Then Remus had taken his hands, and starting at Sirius's hips, began to rub strong fingers into his flesh.
Remus had slowly pulled his hands down, eyes downcast, teeth biting his lip in concentration as Remus's fingers felt Sirus's muscles. Sirius couldn't stop the gasp that escaped him when Remus hit a sensitive patch of flesh on his thigh. And Remus had met Sirus's gaze then, intensely staring while his hands continued to explore Sirius's pant clad thigh, pulling two more gasps and a low groan from Sirius before he was done.
“You should listen to me,” Remus had said, sounding surprisingly normal and lacking of anger. Remus had then moved down Sirius's body, his head resting against Sirus's stomach and hand flowing down to his calf, fingers squeezing and probing the appendage. And then, while Remus's hot breath fanned across Sirus's hips, Remus broke his leg.
Sirius had screamed, bolts of red and white flashing behind his eyelids from the absolute pain. Remus had not pulled away. He had stood swiftly and grabbed Sirius's jaw to force him to look down into his eyes. “Listen to me next time.” Even now the confusing words sounded sad in Sirius's mind. Remus's soft voice had nearly pleaded with him, but for what Sirius just couldn't figure out.
Sirius always listened to Remus when it was important, but there was no way in hell he was going to about this. He would not let their friendship go so easily, even if it was merely a fraction of what Sirius truly wanted from Remus.
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The Easter Fiasco