Voice | By : JojiSada Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1696 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Everything is the love child of one J.K. Rowling. I do not own these lovely people but I love to pull them off the coat rack occasionally and play with them. They shall be returned in no more that two pieces. I swear. |
This fic is written for and dedicated to three people. Nicoletta, the library and era is solely your choice and love. As well as your slight cameo. Desereigh, the pairing is one I know you cannot live without. Your cameo was also a little bit of fun. Ocassus, the fact that the characters in this story have a few medical problems (Can't tell the readers or I would ruin the surprise) is all for you babe. I hope all three of you, and everyone else, loves this as much as I do.
Calmly, he watched the ripples across the lake. It was peaceful and quiet, allowing him to think. His mind drifted to the sweet face of his crush. He had known he was gay since he was fourteen. Mind you, he had kept it quiet, fearing the backlash from the Slytherins, and his father. Nothing could guard him from the punishment if he found out.
When Severus looked back down, he missed the looks Potter and Black were giving him. He didn't hear them walk over until the voices broke into his reverie.
"You wanna know what we have heard Snivellus?" Potter drawled hideously.
"Of course he does." Black answered for him as he hastily closed his drawing pad. It would not help the situation if they saw his artwork.
"You are a fag Snivellus. Isn't that right? The whore of the Slytherin house. I'm sure your father has taught you well to be his catamite " Potter spat disgustedly.
Severus glared silently at them. He was not in the mood. He stood swiftly and pinned them with a look of loathing. "You're one to talk Potter. Word does get around."
"James Adam Potter. Leave him alone." Severus shuddered to think about Lily getting involved. It was not pretty to see her angry. He simply referred to her as a spit-fire.
"Lily," Potter started whining. "He was messing with us. We were merely giving him a friendly reminder." His voice was a cross between whining and being defensive.
"Don't you take that tone with me. I saw you picking on him for no reason, now leave him alone." Lily's eyes were fire red, reflecting pure anger. Severus would never understand what she saw in him, or his defense, but sure enough James held his hands up in surrender and turned to look at Sirius. Silent communication passed between them before the former lead his girlfriend away from the scene.
James turned back towards the Slytherin and mouthed a few more dirty words. Though they were silent, everyone understood them. Snape retaliated by murmuring a silencing spell and an unseen hex that would cause Potter to be unable to relieve any arousal for the next week. It was definitely a painful hex.
With that, he turned his back, rather stupidly, and walked off. That was his first mistake. His second was not hearing the hex that bound him until it was too late. He fell stiffly to the ground, next to his open book; a picture of Remus sitting under the tree mocking him as it lay carelessly open.
"What's this? Stay away from Remus you whore. I will kill you." Black spat into his face. Before he knew what was happening, several spells had been fired in tandem. He was now bound to the Whomping Willow, the binding spell taken off and replaced with magical ropes. His school robes had been replaced with a blinding neon pink leotard. There were students gathering around, laughing at his helplessness and doing nothing to help him.
The Willow's branches were swinging desperately close to him. He tried so desperately to get away. He should have known to keep his guard up; he was a Slytherin, God dammit. Then, in all his luck, Potter had come back, without Lily, and blasted him with a curse he could not identify. The last thing he recalled, before the darkness claimed him, was hearing Remus yell for it all to stop.
End of Flashback
Boy,
You are a failure; succumbing to a couple of Gryffindors. No son of mine will be deaf and dumb. From this point on, you are no longer my son. You will no longer carry my name. As of tomorrow, you will choose a different name and never associate yourself with us again. As far as I care, you are dead. I had hoped you would follow our beliefs but you are not worthy. Your mother has taken her life because of your disgrace. Watch your back, I am not the only one who knows you do not deserve to live.
Armand Verin Snape
Severus dropped the letter on the bed, watching it incinerated itself. The only thing left was the paper saying that his inheritance was gone and the only thing left was what was in his personal vault. He had always saved the spending money he was given but he had very little to use after the year was over. He was thankful that, at least, it was his final year.
Slowly, all the facts registered. He pulled his knees up to his chest and cried. There was no one to comfort him anymore or brush away the tears. His mother was dead and it was his fault. He had driven her to it. If only he had kept his guard up… Angrily, he brushed the tears away, determined to stay strong. The last thing he expected was to look over and see Remus Lupin sitting in the sole chair next to his bed.
He closed his eyes wishing desperately for it to be a dream. He didn't have the strength to deal with the ridicule, the heartbreak. He opened his eyes and sure enough the younger boy was still sitting there, quietly observing him. Severus watched the boy rise and hold out something he thought had been destroyed. There, in the scarred hands, was his battered drawing pad. He reached out for it slowly, before cradling it to his chest protectively. Remus merely smiled gently and nodded before leaving him to his peace.
Severus drifted in out of sleep for the next few days. He had yet to open his drawing pad but he kept it safely hidden beneath his pillow. He would not risk losing it again. It seemed every time he woke Remus was sitting beside his bed. The first couple of times he had feared what the other boy would do. Occasionally, he watched the sandy haired boy fall asleep, his head resting on the edge of the bed. Other times, they just stared at each other in silence.
Recently, there was always an indescribable feeling in the pit of his stomach if the boy was not there. He was the only thing keeping Severus from going crazy. Honestly, he just wanted to hear again.
Words were not at the top of his list. He had never heard anything that wasn't either derogatory or a command. But he missed the simple things. The echoes on the lake when the ripple brushed across it or the soft sizzling of a well made potion. He missed the whistling of the wind when he would take midnight walks and the rustle of paper in his favorite, well worn books. They were simple sounds that gave him peace. Where once he had wished for silence and clarity, now, he simply wanted sound.
The following day, the ebony haired teen pulled out his sketch book. The edges had been frayed, probably from Black and Potter. He flipped through the pages, silently thankful that all the pictures were in tact. Slowly, he skimmed his fingers over the familiar pencil markings until he reached the last page. It was the only page he had left blank. However, he found neat scrawling from boy who visited him each day. He began reading.
Severus,
First, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Sirius and James should have never done that to you and they went too far. I'm sorry I couldn't tell them 'no' just once, to help you. I have been informed about your hearing loss. I was so worried about you, talking over and over again but you wouldn't respond. Finally, I was told it was because you couldn't hear me.
I know you will probably not want my help but I offer it all the same. I can give you back some sense of normalcy. My parents were genetically deaf, so I am proficient in Sign Language. I can help you learn. At least you won't be alone.
Know that while I am sorry, I do not pity you. You would never accept it if I did anyway. Everyone goes through something.
P.S. Both James and Sirius were suspended until NEWTS. I'll be there at my normal time.
P.P.S. Your artwork is amazing. You have real talent Severus, I hope you continue to draw.
Promises,
Remus
Sev picked up his pencil, courtesy of Muggle London, and drew a gentle rose next to the neatly scrawled signature. His shading cast a sense of peace over the treasured letter and once again he tucked it away for safety. He was uncharacteristically nervous as the time neared for Remus to arrive. He had no idea as to whether he should accept the help or not. His pride said 'hell no' but his mind continued telling him he should take the help and the underlying friendship. The only thing keeping him calm was the satisfaction that two of the marauders had been suspended.
Sure enough, Remus showed up just after dinner time. He had a pad of paper in his lap in order to communicate. He hated the feeling of dependence he got by not being able to speak his mind; his desires.
Remus seemed to have infinite patience as he wrote casually, not batting an eyelash at Severus' frustration.
'Severus' Remus started easily. Severus shook his head in reply as he looked at the parchment. 'Are you ok?'
He took the quill and hesitantly began to explain. 'I have been disinherited. My name and status stripped. My name is no longer Severus David Snape.'
'Do you have a new name?' Again, Severus shook his head. Remus looked thoughtful for several minutes before continuing. 'Donovan Xiorius.'
'Does it mean anything?' He was slightly curious. It is somewhat hard to pull a name form thin air that can truly work.
'Donovan was an old Irish guardian, found in the folklore on the isle. Xiorius was a Greek protector known throughout the land as fierce and caring, brave and loving. He was the legend of both man and god.'
Sev- Donovan was blushing fiercely as he read the answer while Remus watched passively, a small smile tugging at his soft features. 'Donovan Zuneerrh Xiorious' Remus raised his eyes in a very familiar fashion, silently urging him to explain. 'Zuneerh means salvation in Drow. It is an old language I found so intriguing and similar to French that I was taken by it. I used it as an escape when I was younger.'
'Beautiful. Donovan suits you. Did you think about my offer?'
'Could I…' Sev- Donovan scratched out the first couple of words scribbling his reply. 'Yes, but I couldn't ask that of you. How can I be helped when I cannot hear?' Remus put his hands over the ebony haired man and looked into his eyes. They lay bare before his scrutiny. Silently, but with all the voice in the world, Remus leaned forward and brushed his lips across Donovan's with the barest amount of pressure before writing awkwardly on the page.
'Because voice is not defined by your ability to talk. It is defined by yourself. You do not need help to survive, you need knowledge.'
Donovan's fingers brushed the spot where Remus had kissed him and for the first in a very long time, he genuinely smiled. His dark eyes were lit with unknown emotions causing him to blink back tears, but it was no use. They fell little by little until his shoulders were shaking violently.
Remus watched worriedly but knowing the other teen needed to accept himself and let loose everything he had bottled up. He stood and moved the parchment to his now vacant seat and went to sit behind the troubled teen. He engulfed the rigid teen into his arms and held him. He was more than surprised when the other teen turned and buried himself in his school robes, the tears leaking through his collar. With gentleness, he held onto Donovan and comforted him as much as he could.
Eventually, both their breathing evened out, a newly named Donovan curled into Remus Lupin's arms. Both finding everything in the silent comfort being transmitted between them.
The following days were filled with readjustment and learning to trust. Donovan had lost everything and the hope dangling in front of him was both tempting and frightening. Slowly, he was learning to see past the Gryffindor image and see a young man who loved books and knowledge as much as himself.
He no longer shared a dorm with Slytherin boys. He had been given his own rooms; however, Remus shared them more often than not. While he was still a resident in Gryffindor dorms, the headmaster had expressed his allowance of the two sharing a room. That was where they were at the moment.
The rooms were spacious but realistic for two people. There was a miniature version of the common rooms but no house colors were found. The carpet was a plush royal blue and the furniture was deep velvet black. There were very few pictures though a couple rested on the mantle of the fireplace. There was a small kitchenette connected to the main room. The bathroom had a pool sized bathtub. It was simple but elegant. The two bedrooms were opposite each other at the end of the hall.
Remus' was on the left. His furnishings were Earth toned and relaxing. The carpet was an elegant undertone of brown. The walls were tan with a forest green border around the edging. All of the furniture was high quality oak; except the bed. The bed was a beautiful full sized pine frame with mesh curtains draping across the posts. The sheets were white cotton with a down comforter. It was definitely classier than the house rooms.
Donovan's room was on the right. The colors of his room were a mix of black, silver, and a deep navy blue. The carpet mirrored Remus' but remained black in color. His walls were done in a navy blue with a silver bordering. Ironic, since he lived with a werewolf. The paint, however, was the only silver. His furniture was a chestnut brown, with his bed having shaded sheer hangings. His bed was also a full but the sheets were a fine satin blue. Each of them definitely had their own style.
Donovan, though he would never admit it, had been afraid to trust. He had wondered many times how he was to learn a new language when he had no hearing and a voice he could not rely on. It was true he still had his voice but he could not understand his words so he refused to use it at all. He, for all intent and purposes, was a mute. However, luck was on his side. The lessons, surprisingly enough, had been similar to his normal class schedule.
Like any language, Remus had started with the basics. A blackboard had been conjured in the main room and Donovan sat comfortably on the couch. He watched apprehensively as Remus stood, unsure as to what to expect. Remus started by writing the alphabet across the board. He held up his free hand and formed an 'A' in sign language while pointing to the letter 'A' at the same time. He smiled, waiting for Donovan to imitate him.
Donovan held up his hand and copied the sign before him. Slowly, he made it through the alphabet. Remus would teach him five letters before returning to the beginning and having him repeat the signs back. It was much like his early grammar lessons. When all the letters had been taught, Remus took to pointing randomly at them, quizzing his knowledge and understanding.
As the days pass, Donovan became more confident with his ability to talk. He had been isolated during this time but it felt good to be able to express himself. Day by day he learned more about his new language and himself. He realized that he had the chance to start over and follow his own beliefs. For once, he had a choice.
Remus was gracious to him. He had also forsaken his classes. They were both given the lectures in writing and the homework was dropped off once a week by both of them, Remus conveying the professor's comments to Donovan. As their NEWTS grew closer, so did they.
Since his accident at the end of September, Donovan had slowly shed his persona of seven years. Both he and Remus became inseparable. It was now Christmas time.
Not many students were left for holidays so Remus decided to drag his secluded friend out to face the world again.
Hogwarts was glowing with spirit. The Great Hall was decorated in ice blue, like a raging snowstorm, with the midnight sky overhead and a crescent moon dangling near the Eastern side. The sight was breathtaking.
Dinner was a feast, as always, with the teachers on one side of the table and the few students on the other. Donovan and Remus sat and talked with each other, Remus interpreting and answering the few questions thrown their way. When dessert was finished and everyone adjourned, the two teens decided to call it a night.
They walked blissfully down the sleeping halls, stopping only when they reached the door. Remus muttered the password but the portrait refused to budge. Remus questioned her but she merely nodded upwards and giggled like a first year Hufflepuff. They had been caught beneath the mistletoe.
Donovan looked up shyly before pressing his lips against Remus. It was a few moments before the pliant lips began to respond. Donovan had no experience in this area so he tentatively ran his tongue along the other's lips, happy when they parted in greeting. The tongues dueled for dominance as each tasted the feast laid out before them. The euphoria of the moment had them lost in each other. But all good things must end. Donovan was first to pull back, his eyes wide with shock and unbridled lust.
'Sorry. I… No…Mean…Please…' His signs were erratic and quick. "Sorry" was the only real word Remus could understand before the younger teen took off down the hallway. Remus sighed and opted to go after him.
It was a few hours later when he found a sorrowful Donovan hidden away in an array of bindings and parchment. Not surprisingly, he had run to the library to lose himself in his salvation; his books. It was in the far back corner of the library that he sat, in the middle of the floor, doing absolutely nothing.
Remus approached him cautiously, worried for his mental state from that afternoon. He tapped the raven haired teen on the shoulder and sighed helplessly when Donovan drew away from the touch. In a twisted sense of irony he formed an 'I Love You' sign and put it into Donovan's sight. Quick as lightning, the boy looked up, his emotions confused and warring.
'Let's talk, Delx.' The nickname was his own endearment and matched his name sign. A name sign was given to someone, by or for a deaf person, in order to identify them to an outside party; based highly on both personality and lifestyle. Remus' own was a 'U' on the pulse point, given his nature to care for and help others. Donovan's was a 'V' facing sideways on the lips. Though he had lost his voice, the hidden kindness and sound was still present.
'I'm sorry. I don't know what more to say.' He signed, his "voice" distraught.
'There is nothing to say. It was tradition. I am sorry if I took it to far but I couldn't help myself.' The werewolf's cheeks reddened in truth.
'NO. I…mean…I like you alright.' Donovan dropped his face, wanting the floor to swallow him up so he wouldn't see the disgust and pity he knew would be present in his roommate's eyes. But a gentle hand caressed his cheek and guided his face upward. The golden eyes held happiness and an emotion he found hard to identify.
'I am glad I am not alone.' He jibbed to lighten the mood. 'May I?'
'May you…'
'Kiss you?' Remus received a nod in response. He leaned down and gently resumed the kiss from earlier. Without ever breaking contact, he brought Delx to his feet and had him against the farthest bookcase. Air finally beckoned, forcing them to break apart and give Remus an opening for a silencing spell and disillusionment spell.
'What are you doing?'
'I am going to show you how much I really care and being vocal in a library with Madam Pince around the corner is not smart.' He smirked, in a very Slytherin-ish fashion.
Hesitantly, Remus lowered his mouth onto Donovan's; very reminiscent of before. The kiss was slow and passionate as Remus slid his tongue over the other's lips, demanding entrance. The younger teen granted it and every flavor of the other was absorbed. When the need for air became to great, they finally pulled apart.
'Minty.' Donovan commented, his eyes glittering in both lust and amusement.
'Kinky.' Remus signed back seductively.
Remus reached his hands to Donovan's chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. He pushed the shirt back onto his shoulders, running his hands across the lightly muscled chest while he rained kisses down on his jaw line. Slowly, he made his way to the juncture of neck and collar bone. He bit hard, only licking an apology after he heard Donovan moan. He was definitely glad he remembered the silencing charms.
Donovan was trying really hard not to do anything drastic. He was to aware of his surroundings to be able to just feel and let go. Although, that thing Remus was doing with his tongue was definitely making his thoughts dwindle.
He pushed Remus away from him so the amber eyes could see his hands. 'Please, why…' Don was silenced with a slender finger put upon his lips.
The boy's other hand signed his response. 'Just feel.'
And so they began a beautiful dance…
In all their lust, they were unaware of the two fifth year Slytherins who had managed to find there way into the deep bookshelves that hid the couple. One of them, a gorgeous blonde with ice blue eyes, merely walked in further and began to enjoy the silent show. The other, a beautiful dark haired girl with Amethyst eyes, dropped her books in shock. If it hadn't been for her friend they would have been found. Dazed, and extremely turned on, they sat against the bookshelves, quite aware of the possibility of getting caught and simply not caring.
Slowly, Remus taught Donovan what love really meant…
They continued to be blissfully oblivious to the two girls still watching. Their faces were red with heat and sweat beaded down their brows. Both were really wishing they had their own boyfriends with them. Both sets of eyes remained unmoving from the erotic sight. They watched as the sandy haired teen's pace quickened and he reached around to the raven haired teen and both teens climaxed together.
Their breathing was heavy as Remus pulled out and waved his wand to clean the mess and righted their clothes. It was when they both calmed down that everything got interesting.
Donovan got up, pulling Remus up with him and turned to see the two girls, both of whom were now standing. Donovan turned stricken and insecure eyes towards his lover and turned around. All his fears were compounding together. Remus held him and removed the silencing charm, engaging them in conversation.
"Who are you?" He asked calmly, his mind reeling at the thought of them being watched.
"I am Nicoletta." The blue eyed blonde responded. She pointed to the Dark haired girl next to her. "She is Desereigh."
"Why are you here?"
"Well, we were looking for a book and found something much more interesting. You two look hott together." Nic was definitely the bold one, Remus observed. Des stood embarrassed off to the side.
"Is he okay?" The Amethyst beauty asked.
"Hold on." Remus pulled Donovan away from him and caught his attention.
'Focus. Are you okay?'
'Yea. I give up my virginity to someone I love and find out I am being watched.'
'You…you love me?' For once, it was Remus who was filled with insecurity.
'Of course, love. How could I not?' He leaned in for a quick kiss and then turned to the girls, using Remus as an interpreter. 'What did they say?'
'That you were hot, my snake.'
He blushed at then and turned to them with a tell tale smirk playing on his lips and mischief in his eyes. 'Enjoy the show? Maybe a little warning next time and we'll give you a better view.' As Remus began translating, Donovan left the library and his two new admirers.
Remus found him out by the lake later, his drawing pad in hand. He sat down next to him and draped his cloak around his shoulders.
'I love you.'
'And I you.'
'Your pictures are beautiful. I feel like you capture a piece of me every time you draw me. I can always see it reflected back in the eyes. You make it so life like.'
Donovan shook his head in denial. 'No, Remus. You bring it to life. You do far more than my pictures could ever show.'
'Do you regret taking my help?'
'Where did that come from? No, never. I admit I hated being dependant on you but I have received more from you than anyone in my life. You showed me acceptance without pain and love. I'm afraid I won't be able to give that back to you.'
'You already have my love, you already have.'
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