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His Howling
By : BornWolfgirl
Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus
Views: 1580 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0Disclaimer: I own naught but the plot! The wonderful wizarding world of Harry Potter is the brainchild of the brilliant J.K. Rowling. I earn nothing but reviews. They are the only sustenance for writers like me. Good or bad. We love them all. Enjoy! - Chapter List
He was howling again. Even locked deep within the beastly mind with barely a human thought left, he could hear the low mournful cry echoing through every bone in this twisted body. Calling, screaming in its own monstrous way, for something. Someone actually.
The imagery of a trembling form in black robes and lanky black hair flashes frequently through the beast mind. Tormenting it with the scent of fear, blood, and…. Something else that Remus human mind can’t quite grasp. Whatever it is, it fascinates the wolf. Causing it to call, month after month, year after year. Tormenting the human within with guilt and regret. Guilt that by allowing his friends to find out about him and join him each month, he had inadvertently breached the defenses that were put in place to keep others safe from him, and someone did just that. They breached them and almost died. Regret eats at him, that the one person who did was someone whom he had been friends with in secret for years, along with Lily and a small group. It was the year they lost him to the dark side, and he feared that his encounter with the werewolf only made it worse. After that night the other boy wouldn’t even look at him.
Thirteen years later they are thrust back together, no longer rival students but as colleagues for a brief time, but the fear and revulsion are still there. Along with pain and sadness though only if you know what to look for. All attempts to talk are met with sharp retorts that cut too deep to heal any time soon. So, with even more regret, Remus retreats to lick his wounds in peace. He doesn’t hate him for the words though. How can he… He agrees with every one of them.
Two years later they clash again, but this time Remus is ready. He is tired. Tired of apologizing and tired of trying to please everyone else but himself. This time they managed to semi-successfully avoid each other and do their jobs at least. Secrets are revealed and at unacknowledged truce is made as war consumes their lives.
Then Sirius dies, and it’s almost the final straw to break the wolfs back. He is there though. Silent and unassuming, but a shadow that follows him relentlessly from pub to pub, as Remus tries to drown his sorrows for a dozen people. Damn werewolf metabolism. He doesn’t recall how he got back to Grimmauld Place that night or even how he got into a bed. But it’s close to the full moon and even his human senses can catch a brief waft of that scent. Something shifts inside him.
The wolf does not like the wild packs. He has always been an alpha and to submit to any other was impossible, though he tired at first. During his time with them, he’d often wake after to moon with broken bones that didn’t transition right. He did the best he could between moons with negotiations, but he learned quickly to sum it up before the full moon and shift in seclusion. Some understood but many pack alphas used it as an excuse to refuse him. If he could not run with them then they wouldn’t even, consider running with him. It all proved futile in the end. When it came to the war and whose side they would be on, all but the most bloodthirsty had already made up their minds.
Neutrality.
This was a wizard conflict and unless brought to their lands is was none of their business. What had the Wizarding world ever done for them. Nothing.
Unfortunately, for every neutral, there were just as many bloodthirsty youths, looking for a fight to sink their teeth into. Voldemort lapped them up with glee.
Indeed, the final battle was bloody. The loss was heavy on both sides. Not the least being his beloved Dora. Wife and mother for such a short time, but never to be forgotten. He watched helplessly from across the field as she falls lifeless and his own vision goes black. In that moment, he prays he is soon to join her.
But amazingly he does not.
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