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You Rang, M'Lord?	By : ODB Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 34797 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I own nothing but a filthy imagination. I especially do not own Harry Potter or anything connected with it. No money is made from this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
Chapter 1 – Arrival

AN
No, this isn’t the angsty story I threatened everyone with previously. Truthfully, after all the misery that 2020 has dumped on us, writing something gloomy was the last thing I needed. So, instead, I present another alternative universe story about the misadventures of Miss Ginevra Molly Weasley. This actually features ideas I was going to use as an OVA to GW:PS but instead I spun it out into a stand-alone story. Apart from Ginny, it features a completely original cast so Mr Potter will not be making an appearance. Boy, did he miss out.
Ginny watched as the rusty old Ford Anglia disappeared into the distance. Even someone as un-mechanically minded as she could tell that there was something wrong with the engine and she hoped that her father would get home alright. The flying spells had long since faded and she was convinced that he had insisted that he drive her here just so he could spend a little more time with her. Anyone would think that she was being sold into slavery.

At least, she hoped she wasn’t.

With her small suitcase clutched in her hands, Ginny turned and looked at the imposing gates that loomed over her. Sighing, she squared her shoulders and began to walk down the long, perfectly straight driveway that was lined by impeccably spaced beech trees. In the distance, perhaps half a mile away, she could see the monstrous building that was known as Blackthorn House, the historic home of the Selwyn family, one of the sacred twenty-eight and allegedly one of the richest families in the country.

Families such as the Selwyns ruled the roost these days. It was funny that the Weasley family had been on the winning side during the last war, but had still come out of it losers. No one really knew what happened on that fateful day two years ago when the mysterious Harry Potter and the forces of the Ministry had ambushed the Dark Lord and his forces at an obscure village called Little Hangleton. Some say that Potter and You-Know-Who duelled and destroyed each other. Others insisted that Potter had won but, weary of fighting since he was a small boy, had vanished afterwards, content to fade into obscurity. Either way, the Wizard community of Great Britain was changed forever.

Despite large numbers of pure-bloods dying on the battlefield after their lord and master had been defeated, their losses were nothing compared to those of the half-bloods and the Muggleborns who had been decimated by Voldemort’s forces. With the Ministry rudderless, a new generation took power. The moderate pure-bloods who had largely sat out the war now emerged and grabbed the reins of power. The new Minister for Magic, Cecil Greengrass, quickly established himself and, once again, the pure-bloods held sway over the land. Those that supported Muggle rights, like Ginny’s father, soon found themselves out of a job and marginalised.

It had been a difficult few years for the Weasley family. Arthur Weasley had been sacked from the Ministry and virtually blacklisted for his Muggle-loving beliefs. Indeed, the only work he could find was stacking shelves in a Muggle supermarket. Molly Weasley had to take on a cleaning job to make ends meet. The fortunes of their offspring varied, however. Ginny’s older brothers, Bill and Charlie, had both established themselves in good jobs before the backlash and both sent money home when they could. With Bill starting a family of his own and Charlie’s income being rather limited despite the dangerous nature of his job, they could only do so much, however.

Percy was the most embittered of the family. Despite him severing ties with his parents, his closeness to the previous administration meant that he wasn’t trusted in Greengrass’s Government either. Percy was now a very lowly clerk, completing reams of endless paperwork of little importance for minimum pay.

Fred and George still lived at home and ran a mail-order joke and novelties business. While they did a reasonable trade, many of their raw materials were quite expensive and their profit margins were small. They dreamed of opening their own shop in Hogsmead or Diagon Alley where they were convinced the increased footfall would make them profitable, but with no investment, it was a pipedream.

As for the youngest of the Weasley family, things were even worse. Both her brother Ron and she had suffered great interruptions to their schooling due to the war. Hogwarts had been forced to close for nearly a year after the legendary Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, had been killed and this time was never made up. Strangely, neither of them received the help and support the other sons and daughters of pure-blood families received and they ended up finishing their education with poor results. Both of them had found doors to decent jobs firmly closed in their faces, too, and they weren’t alone in this. Ron’s Muggleborn girlfriend had even snapped her wand and renounced being a witch. She was apparently now attending a Muggle University and refusing to reply to Ron’s letters. Devastated, her brother now lounged about the house, wallowing in his misery.

For her part, Ginny was determined not to be a burden on her family. She’d vowed to take any job she could find and this decision was what had now led her here. She was to be a lowly maid, serving a wealthy pure-blood family as best she could. It was a job that she would never in a million years imagined herself doing but, beggars couldn’t be choosers and this was the best she could find. The salary wasn’t terrible and she would have board and lodgings thrown in. Of course, she was getting ahead of herself. She hadn’t formally got the job yet and would have to pass a ‘final interview’ before she would. Quite what she would do if the Selwyns didn’t like her, she had no idea.

Lost in her thoughts, she soon found herself outside the magnificent manor house. As previously instructed, she walked around the side of the house and found a small, white door in the perimeter wall. Entering, she found herself in an immaculate courtyard with a lush lawn in the centre and pear trees planted around the edges. She followed the narrow path that ran next to the house and soon found the back entrance. Ringing the bell, she nervously stood back and waited.

After what seemed like a lifetime the door opened and revealed a tall, handsome woman who regarded Ginny with a cold expression. The woman was undoubtedly attractive in a stern sort of way and was immaculately dressed in a long, green skirt and high-necked blouse that did little to hide a formidable bosom.

“Yes?” the woman demanded.

“Good morning, my name is Ginny Weasley and I have a job interview here today,” Ginny managed to splutter.

“Ah, yes. I’m pleased to see you’re here on time. I can’t abide unpunctuality. My name is Madam Fairfax and I’m the Head Housekeeper. If you are successful today you will report directly to me. You’ve brought your things, I see? Good. Pick up your case and come with me.”

With barely a pause, the woman turned and strode into the house. Ginny scrambled to grab her bag and hurried after her, nearly running to keep up. They passed through what Ginny took to be a pantry and up a set of stairs. The walls of the building were all whitewashed and the place seemed drab and deathly quiet. Such was the pace Madam Fairfax was setting Ginny hardly had time to take in her surroundings, let alone remember what path they took. Soon they arrived in a long corridor with numerous dark-wood doors. Fairfax stopped in front of one and opened it.

“My office,” she revealed. “If you require me for anything, this is the most likely place to find me during the day. Enter and take a seat in front of my desk.”

Doing as she was bid, Ginny entered and found herself in a reasonably sized room that reeked of tidiness and organisation. A large bookcase dominated one wall that was full of neat ledgers and a large desk was placed in the centre of the room. Ginny sat in the simple chair located in front of the desk, placing her case on the floor next to her and waited. Fairfax strode around the desk and sat behind it.

“Welcome to Blackthorn House, Miss Weasley,” she began. “In a moment, I will take you to meet Lord Selwyn who will conduct your final interview and decide if you will be granted employment here.”

“Gosh, I’m surprised,” Ginny exclaimed. “I wouldn’t have thought that an important man such as Lord Selwyn would be involved in hiring staff directly.”

Fairfax looked at her oddly for a moment, as if she was struggling to find the words to speak next.

“Miss Weasley… I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression of what is required of you today. Lord Selwyn is, in many ways, a wonderful man. While his father is to be admired, he was never a good businessman and the fortunes of the family took a significant downturn during his tenure. When Owen Selwyn took over, he singlehandedly turned the family’s business interests around and returned the Selwyns to the status they deserve. He is a kindly, intelligent and, I might add, handsome man with many good qualities. He does, however, have some weaknesses.”

“Such as?”

Fairfax sighed. “While I would never in a million years speak poorly of Lady Selwyn, it has to be said that their marriage has not been a happy one. While they present a formidable united front when it comes to family matters, they both look elsewhere when it comes to, umm, obtaining personal satisfaction. Am I making myself clear?”

“I think so,” Ginny replied with a sinking feeling in her stomach. If she was understanding Madam Fairfax correctly, Lord Selwyn wasn’t getting any from his wife and had taken to shagging the serving staff. Basically, if she wanted the job she was going to have to drop her knickers.

“Naturally how you chose to conduct yourself during the interview is entirely up to,” Fairfax continued. “I will say that I have always found working for the Selwyn’s to be most satisfactory. Aside from the occasional unusual request that might be made of you, you will be treated well here. I am aware of your difficult personal circumstances and would suggest that you will struggle to find a better job than that offered here. What happens next is entirely your choice, of course, but I would ask that you at least meet with the Lord.”

“Yes, I can do that,” she agreed, her head spinning.

What was she going to do? This was the only solid offer of employment that she’d received and her family could barely afford to continue to feed her. This really was her last hope but was she prepared to whore herself out to obtain it? As she stood and followed Madam Fairfax out of the room, a slight feeling of panic gripped her.

It seemed a long walk to Lord Selwyn’s study. Dimly, she was aware of the furnishings changing as she walked and she realised that they had passed out of the servant quarters and into the house proper. As they stopped in front of a pair of highly-polished doors, Ginny still had no idea what she was going to do. As Fairfax knocked on the door, she nearly turned and ran.

“Come,” a male voice called.

Fairfax opened the door and stuck her head in. “The new maid, a Miss Ginny Weasley, is here. Are you ready to see her, sir?”

“Yes, trot her in,” the voice said.

Fairfax stood back so Ginny could enter. The woman whispered ‘good luck’ as she passed. Ginny soon found herself in a magnificently-furnished room with a stunningly painted ceiling depicting scenes from Greek mythology and gold-leaf coving. Numerous bookcases lined the walls and there were various padded chairs and sofas dotted around. A large desk, twice the size of Fairfax’s, stood in front of her with a man seated behind it. This, she realised, was Lord Selwyn.

The man was indeed as handsome as Madam Fairfax had suggested. His hair was jet-black and he had a neatly trimmed beard. He was dressed immaculately in expensive-looking brown robes with a white shirt underneath. His look was completed with a florid ascot around his neck. He smiled as she entered.

“Miss Weasley, how delightful that you could come. Please, take a seat and let’s get to know each other a little better. My word, what an absolute beauty you are. Quite enchanting.”

Ginny sat as instructed and nervously looked at the man. For a second, she wondered why the man’s wife disliked him so much. He was certainly good looking and, as far as she could tell, looked to be in good shape. There must be some aspect of his personality that was off, she decided.

“Well, I must say I’m delighted that you want to come and join the staff here at Blackthorn House,” Selwyn continued. “We’re a happy little band, here, and I like to think that we work hard and play hard, too. Tell me, Miss Ginny, have you ever done any kind of work like this previously?”

“No, sir. I only graduated from Hogwarts last summer and I’ve been looking for work ever since. I’m afraid my N.E.W.T. results weren’t the best, mainly due to all the upset the war caused. I’m a hard worker, though, and my mother has taught me any household spells that I might need.”

“Ah, yes, the war,” Selwyn sighed. “I understand your family didn’t emerge from the conflict too well. Shocking business, really. Pure-bloods should never turn on other pure-bloods in that manner. Still, I have to say that in all other respects Cecil Greengrass is doing a splendid job. He’s only been in power for a year or two but already the British wizard community is back on its feet again. Wonderful work on his part, I must say.”

Ginny bit her tongue.

“Still, I’m sure you’re more interested in the position here, eh? Well, we won’t work you too hard, I promise you, my dear. I’m sure Madam Fairfax will brief you on your role more fully than I. No, I do like to get to know my staff and I like to think I’m quite close to them all. I hope we’ll have a good relationship, too, Miss Ginny.”

I bet, thought Ginny.

“I realise that I’m blessed,” Selwyn continued. “I have a wonderful family, this fabulous home, and a job that I find genuinely interesting. All the same, if you come to work here you will discover there are parts of my life that aren’t so happy.”

“Is that to do with Lady Selwyn?” Ginny asked before she realised what she was doing. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I should never have said that!”

“No, I suppose it is common knowledge,” the man said with a despondent look on his face. “Oh, it was wonderful when we first married but pretty soon Ida and I, we… well, we started having disagreements. You see, I have a very unusual problem and my poor wife, well, she found she was increasingly unable to cope.”

“Unusual problem?” she asked despite herself.

“Yes, I’m sure many men wouldn’t consider it a problem,” Selwyn explained, rising from his seat and coming around to lean against the desk in front of her. “Indeed, I’m sure most men would consider it a blessing rather than a curse. Here, let me show you.”

Reaching down, Lord Selwyn gently grasped her right hand and, to Ginny’s surprise, placed it against the front of his trousers. Her first reaction was to pull her hand back but, before she could, it began to dawn on her exactly what she was touching.

Her jaw dropped as her fingers encountered something thick and hard. Tentatively, she moved her hand and was shocked to find that object was much, much longer than it should be, assuming she was feeling what she thought she was feeling.

“As you see, I’m rather blessed in the trouser department,” Selwyn confirmed. “Poor Ida always struggled to cope with the damn thing, bless her.”

“Oh, sweet Merlin!” Ginny gasped as she continued to run her hand up and down the monster that appeared to be lurking within the Lord’s pants.

“Would you be a dear and unleash the beast, if you get my meaning. I’ve had a bit of a stiffy ever since you walked in the room and these trousers are rather restrictive.”

Lord Selwyn made the request as casually as if he was asking her to open a window and Ginny realised things were rapidly spiralling out of control. Before she’d stepped into the room she’d been ninety per cent certain that she was going to tell the Lord to bugger off if he made sexual advances to her but now she was conflicted. In addition to desperately needing the job, she’d found Selwyn a handsome and engaging man but, more than anything else, she was shocked to realise that she really wanted to see if his cock was as big as it felt.

With trembling hands, she slowly reached up and pulled down his zipper. The belt was next and then the button at his waistband. Thus freed, his trousers easily slid down his thighs and settled around his knees. Beneath, he was wearing a plain pair of light blue boxer shorts although she couldn’t help but notice the prominent bulge in the front of them. With her mouth suddenly dry, she grasped the hem of the shorts and yanked them down.

“Oh, fuck, that’s huge!” she gasped.

“He, he. Quite right, Miss Weasley. You see why my wife struggled to accommodate me now?”

Feeling like she was in a dream, Ginny reached over and grasped the man’s cock in her hand. She started to tremble when she saw she could barely close her hand around it. It was, perhaps, eleven or twelve inches long, thick, and with a shiny, throbbing helmet that seemed to be very close to her face right now. She gulped.

While she’d had her share of boyfriends at Hogwarts, she’d never progressed beyond the kissing and groping stage. The only time she’d seen a real penis had been courtesy of her idiot brothers for whom the concept of private space was non-existent. Never before had she even seen an erect cock and certainly never one as big as this. It both terrified and excited her.

As she sat admiring it, Lord Selwyn began to edge towards her. Soon, Ginny realised he was pushing his cock towards her mouth and was presumably expecting her to suck it. Once again, indecision guided events and before she knew what was happening, the bulbous head of his dick was pressed up against her mouth. Not knowing what else to do, she opened her mouth and wrapped her lips around the monstrous member.

It barely fitted in her mouth. With her body shaking, Ginny began to suck hard on the man’s cock. She’d once vowed never to perform this act for any boy but, here she was, with Selwyn’s rock-hard helmet in her mouth and her gobbling away merrily. Truthfully, she’d never been as turned on as she was at that moment. Her nipples had become painfully hard and she could feel the dampness in her knickers. She trembled with excitement as she continued to suck.

It was only then that a thought struck her. The Lord probably wasn’t going to be content with her just sucking him off, he’d probably want to fuck her, too. As a virgin, Ginny was terrified that her first time might be impaled on this foot-long monstrosity. It would rip her into two! Panic set in and for a moment she backed off, pulling the man’s pulsating dick from her mouth. She looked at if fearfully for a second before an idea struck her.

There, glistening at the tip of Selwyn’s dick was a drop of liquid. The man was clearly horny as hell and he’d already shed his first bead of pre-cum. It occurred to her if she could get him to spunk before he tried to shag her, she’d be saved. In short, despite it being her first time, she had to deliver an amazing blowjob and get this man to shoot his load early.

“I say, Miss Ginny, perhaps this would be easier if you remove your blouse and skirt. You’re such a beautiful creature that I would love to see a little more of you.”

Ginny nodded. The more excited the man became, the greater her chances of getting him off. She stood and began to unbutton her blouse, her only good one. Her fingers were still trembling making it hard, but eventually, she managed to undo it. Carefully, she removed the shirt and hung it over the back of her chair.

“Oh, my! You’re truly beautiful,” Selwyn exclaimed.

Blushing slightly, Ginny concentrated on removing her skirt. She’d been flat as a pancake up to her fourteenth birthday but then suddenly bloomed. Her previous stick-like figure filled out, giving her a cracking pair of breasts, an alluring curve on her hips, and an arse that boys couldn’t seem to help but try and feel up. Those that did so without her permission normally ended up in the hospital wing. Selwyn, who was eagerly shrugging off his heavy robes, was eyeing her with undisguised glee.

Before the man got any other ideas, Ginny sat back down and grabbed his cock again. Feeling that what she’d previously been doing wasn’t going to cut it, she changed tactics. Firstly, her right hand firmly grasped his shaft and she began to pump it hard while her left hand captured his pendulous balls and began to massage them. Now, how best to utilise her mouth?

As she’d been barely able to cram the monster into her mouth, Ginny decided to try a different approach. Whilst directly looking up into Selwyn’s eager eyes, Ginny extended her tongue and lazily ran it over the man’s engorged helmet. Noting the way he shuddered, she began to lick the head of his cock hard, making sure she didn’t miss an inch of flesh and paying special attention to the slit at the end. A tangy, salty taste told her that she’d managed to coax a little more cum from him.

Changing tack again, she fell to her knees and angled his dick upwards before running her tongue up the full length of his shaft. Selwyn was practically sobbing with pleasure by this point and groaned when she dipped her head down and crammed one of his balls into her mouth. As she furiously sucked it, she continued to wank him off rapidly with her right hand.

“Miss Ginny, really, if you continue doing that I’ll have an accident,” he blurted.

That’s the plan, she thought and began to lick her way up his straining shaft again. Once she reached the top, she again began to flick her tongue against the slit in the top, dragging it hard against the man’s throbbing helmet. Selwyn was gasping for air by this point, leaning back against his desk and Ginny could feel his legs trembling. She was sure that if she kept this up he would ejaculate soon.

In fact, her plan worked better than she expected. Without warning, a thick jet of something warm and sticky shot into her open mouth. Surprised, she pulled her head back and received a second blast right in the face for her troubles. She raised her hand but it was too late, more spunk sprayed over her, completely drenching her.

It took a moment for Ginny to realise that the tidal wave of cum had stopped. She carefully wiped her eyes before opening them. Lord Selwyn was draped over his desk with a somewhat foolish grin on his face. He looked down and her and smiled.

“My word, you are a talented young lady, aren’t you? Is that what they’re teaching you at Hogwarts these days? Good show.”

It was at this point that Ginny realised her mouth was still full of jizz. Not seeing any alternative, she raised her chin and swallowed hard. It wasn’t lost on her that she’d known Lord Selwyn for less than half-an-hour and she’d just swallowed a load of his spunk. What would he have her doing within a week?

“It would be best if you cleaned yourself up and got dressed, my dear,” Selwyn told her. “Once you’re ready, we’ll get Madam Fairfax in to complete your induction.”

“Oh, I’ve got the job then?”

“Oh, Miss Ginny, you most definitely have!” he said with a chuckle.

Drawing her wand from her bag, Ginny hurriedly cast a few cleaning charms on herself. Fortunately, there was a large mirror on the far wall and she was able to check her appearance which was just as well as she’d missed a large blob of cum just below her left ear. Once clean, she turned and headed back to the chair to reclaim her clothes. As she walked, she noticed Lord Selwyn looking at her hungrily. Hurriedly, she pulled on her blouse and skirt before the man got any more funny ideas. She was relieved when he pulled up his trousers, being careful to tuck his soft but still very impressive cock back into his boxer shorts carefully. Only when they were both respectable did he pick up his wand which had been laying on the desk and wave it twice.

Soon, Madam Fairfax appeared. She glanced at Ginny suspiciously but said nothing when Selwyn confirmed that she was to be joining the staff. With a small curtsey that Ginny tried to emulate, Fairfax led them out of the study and back to her office to complete the rest of the paperwork to confirm her employment. It was only when they were back in the servant’s area that she spoke.

“Made your choice then, Miss Weasley?”

“I didn’t really have a choice. I need this job,” Ginny replied.

Fairfax nodded and Ginny was sure her expression softened slightly. “Sometimes fate leaves us with few options, I’m afraid.”

“That’s the truth.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, you’re welcome here. Come along, let’s get your contract signed and then I’ll take you to your quarters.”

Ginny just nodded. Frankly, at that point, she didn’t know what to think other than she could really do with a drink. Lord Selwyn’s spunk had a strange taste to it.

Once the paperwork was all done, Madam Fairfax issued Ginny with several sets of her maid uniform and led her up several flights of stairs to her accommodation. The room, while not huge, seemed quite functional and bright. Two single beds dominated the space, along with two wardrobes, a small table with three chairs placed around it, and a vanity unit. The bathroom was shared by all female members of staff and located down the hall. Ginny was informed she would be sharing with another maid named Alice who was currently working.

“Umm, Madam Fairfax?” Ginny asked nervously as the tall woman was about to leave.

“Yes?”

“These uniforms… they’re not very practical, are they?”

Ginny held one of the garments up to emphasize her point. Rather than being a practical, working uniform, it appeared to be someone’s fantasy interpretation of what a maid would wear. The neckline was very low and the skirt very high. It came with sets of suspenders and stockings, along with a couple of pairs of high heels that she wasn’t certain she could walk in, let alone work.

“That outfit was personally designed by Lord Selwyn,” Fairfax explained. “You’ll soon get used to it and I can assure you that none of the other girls have any problems performing their tasks wearing it.”

“It depends what those tasks are,” Ginny muttered under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing. As you say, I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”

“Hmm, as you say. Please be ready to start work at 6.30 am sharp tomorrow morning. I’ll probably start you off helping cook before moving you onto cleaning duties. Understood?”

“Yes, Madam Fairfax.”

With that, the stern lady marched out of the room, firmly closing the door behind her. Ginny sighed. The early starts would definitely be difficult, but the work sounded no more demanding than what she’d been doing at home. She doubted even Madam Fairfax could match the exacting standards of Molly Weasley when it came to housework.

It was obvious which bed was to be hers so she unpacked her things into the vacant wardrobe. Not quite knowing what to do with herself, Ginny then decided to try on the maid outfit to see how bad it was. She’d never worn stockings and suspenders before in her life and it took a great deal of fiddling to get them on. Even the underwear had been supplied, all black and lacy, but fortunately, it all fitted. The maid outfit itself proved a little bit snug, and the neckline was even more revealing than she’d thought. The skirt was such that she was certain she would flash her knickers every time she bent forward slightly. The whole look was completed with a white lace choker and a tiny frilly headpiece that perched on her hair rather unnecessarily.

She was just examining her reflection in the mirror mounted on the front of her wardrobe when the door swung open and a young woman dressed in an identical manner entered. When she caught sight of Ginny she broke into a warm smile.

“Oh, hi! You must be the new girl. My name’s Alice Watkins and I’m pleased to meet you.”

“I’m Ginny Weasley,” she replied. “I was just trying on this outfit for the first time. Bit revealing, isn’t it?”

Alice laughed. “Oh, you’ll get used to it. Besides, with Saucy Selwyn running this place, you won’t have it on that often, trust me!”

“Oh, I’ll be expected to do… stuff… for him regularly will I?” she asked, her heart sinking.

“The way you look, babe, I expect he’ll be shagging you morning, noon, and night. He probably won’t be the only one. I don’t think there’s a bloke in this manor that can keep it in their pants for more than five minutes.”

Ginny regarded her new roommate. Alice was only slightly taller than her and probably just a few years older. She had blond hair so light it was nearly white and she had clear, blue eyes. She filled out her maids' outfit well, with her large bust barely contained by garment. Her smooth, shapely legs looked great in the fishnet stocking she wore. The girl was damn sexy.

“I was hoping I could avoid that,” Ginny stated. “I’m not very big and he’s… well…”

“Hung like a horse?” Alice suggested. “I know he made my eyes water the first couple of times he shoved the Beast of Blackthorn House up me. That’s what we refer to his manhood as. Anyway, are you telling me that he hasn’t already had you? I thought a good seeing to was mandatory for employment here.”

“I sucked him off before he had a chance to fuck me,” she explained.

“Hmm, I see. Well, you’d better brace yourself, petal, because if I know that man he’ll be keen to finish what he started. There isn’t a woman within these four walls that he hasn’t had and I’m sure you’ll be joining that number soon enough.”

“It’s just that, well, I’ve never been with a bloke before.”

“What? You calmly announce that you sucked off that randy bugger but then state you’ve never had it in you before? Girl, you have your priorities messed up!”

“I know! But still, I don’t think I can cope with having that monster rammed up me for my first time. He could split me in two with that thing!”

“I see your point,” Alice agreed. “If you want my advice, there are a few male servants working here, all pretty good-looking and all randy as hell. I’m sure one of the boys would be more than happy to help you gain a bit of experience. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up doing all of them at some point. Everyone seems to end up fucking everyone else here.”

“Bloody hell, when does any work get done?”

“Oh, we let the House-elves do all that.”

“House-elves,” Ginny repeated. “If this place has elves, what do they need us for?”

Alice put one hand on her hip and looked at Ginny suggestively. “What do you think they need us for, babe?”

“Great, so my role here is to get shagged by Lord Selwyn whenever he fancies, right?”

“Oh, not just him. Owen Selwyn’s brother and father are here, too. Adolphus is no problem as he’s in his seventies and happy with the occasional hand-job. Milton is a bit weird, though, and has some very strange tastes. He’s a bit of a wimp, fortunately, and you can get away with just saying no. Oh, Mr. Higman, the butler, will probable give you one at some point. He’s normally busy satisfying Lady Selwyn and Mary, the cook, but I’m sure he’ll want to sample your delights at some point. Madam Fairfax will probably want you to warm her bed, too.”

“Madam Fairfax? She’s a lesbian?”

“Hmm, more bi-sexual I would say. After all, Saucy Selwyn probably fucks her more than any other woman here. Oh, I should probably mention, I’m bi, too. Don’t be surprised if I creep into your bed at night and try and have my wicked way with you!”

“Alice!”

“I’m joking,” the blond told her, laughing. “Still, I don’t doubt you’ll end up munching on Fairfax’s muff at some point, so if you want a bit of practice in that area I’m happy to help.”

“You’re incorrigible,” Ginny told her, even if she was smiling as she said it.

“I admit, I’m a horny little bitch and I love working here. On that note, I’d better warn you to be careful around Lady Selwyn. She’s fucking half the male staff here but thinks no one knows about it. Try and be discrete around her and if you should walk in on her doing the deed turn around and pretend you saw nothing. That’s how your predecessor lost her job. She walked into a room just as the groundskeeper was giving her one and didn’t have the sense to keep quiet. Lady Selwyn had her sacked on the spot after making her swear a magical oath of silence. Still, Belinda was no loss. Stupid cow, she was. You seem much nicer.”

“Thank you. Bloody hell, I’m really going to have to watch myself around here, aren’t I? Every bloke and most of the women want to shag me and I might get sacked if I walk into the wrong room by mistake. Anything else that I should know?”

“Only that I think you look incredibly sexy in that outfit,” Alice purred.

“Great, you as well! Somehow, I think my days as a virgin are going to be strictly numbered.”

Alice just smiled.
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You Rang, M'Lord?