Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I Understand	By : LMG67 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 9627 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Author Notes
- 2-Revelation
- 3-Grief
- 4-Horror
- 5-Thoughts
- 6-Anger
- 7-Training
- 8-Explanation
- 9-Expressions
- 10-Thinking
- 11-Tower
- 12-Pain
- 13-Seperate
- 14-Questions
- 15-Tears
- 16-In their own words
- 17-Tantrum
- 18-Sorrow
- 19-Darkness
- 20-Light
- 21-Passion
- 22-Breath
- 23-Suspicions
- 24-Iggy
- 25-Fear
- 26-Decisions
- 27-Understanding
- 28-Draco
- 29-Harry
- 30-Fallout
- 31-Accidents...
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THINKING

Friday night found Harry back on the Astronomy Tower staring at the stars just barely showing thru
the clouds. It was a calm night with a little breeze and Harry found it soothing. Soothing his nerves
and helping to calm him down from the rigors of the week.

Harry sighed as he settled more comfortably onto the parapet. He was getting quite attached to the
thing he thought with a small smile. Gods, he was tired and Quidditch practice didn’t start for
another two weeks. How was he going to handle everything and add practice to it? Something was
going to have to give and Harry was beginning to be afraid it was his mind.

The proverbial fan was about to start slinging and it was gonna be messy. Harry snorted at the
thought, he couldn’t lose his mind, he was the bloody Boy Who Lived. God he hated his life!

Harry sighed again as he thought over everything that had happened since Monday. Harry mentally
ran down the list:

1. his breakdown in front of Hermione

2. Ron finding out he wasn’t there when Harry finally took Snape down and dealing with his
disappointment

3. the fights walked away from and the ones not started

4. all of Gryffindor confronting the four and wanting to know why they weren’t fighting back

5. the look in Malfoy’s eyes when he realized that Harry really was serious about not fighting after
the fifth time of him trying to get a rise out of Harry

6. Hermione’s calculating look, damn that girl was too smart for Harry’s peace of mind

7. to the piece de la resistance: getting teamed with Malfoy at potions yesterday.

After Monday’s confrontation with Malfoy at lunch, the week just seemed to go downhill from
there, the highlight being Snape on the floor after Harry reflected the curse back at him. Harry knew
he would treasure that moment for all time. It was at that moment that Harry knew, he just knew,
that he might have a chance to survive to graduate after all.

Tonight he had ignored Hermione’s call after dinner as he hurried back to his room to get the
invisibility cloak. He was going to pay for that, oh he knew she was going to make him pay. But he
wanted to hide, wanted to be alone. Needed to be alone.

Quit fooling yourself, you just didn’t want to see the hurt in their eyes when you once again
refused to talk to them

So, what of it?

Coward

Shut up!

Harry groaned as he mentally fought with himself. Harry had been talking to himself for as long as
he could remember. He had come to the conclusion it was the aftereffects from being locked up in
the cupboard for all those years. But as Hermione said in their first year, even in the wizarding world
hearing voices in your head isn’t a good thing. Talking to yourself is the first signs you’re losing it,
my man, he thought.

I’m not losing it, you are

Right, as if it would matter in the end

Wouldn’t it?

Would you just shut up and leave me the hell alone!

With a snort Harry pushed the voice to the back of his mind and his thoughts turned back to his list.
Hermione, her silence was beginning to scare him. She had let him go all week without once asking
what was wrong. She had this calculating look in her eye that did not bode well for him, did not
bode well at all. Ron was right, she was scary, brilliant, but scary.

Ron was also starting to look at him strangely. It had taken hours Monday night to convince him
that it had been a fluke, that maybe Snape was just tired from all the training and the spying that he
did. Ron was happy for him. But he kept insisting that Harry do it again next Sunday so that Ron
could see it. Nothing Harry said could convince Ron that it was just plain dumb luck that Harry had
done it the first time.

The fights that Malfoy and his little group had tried to start were gaining in strength. By Tuesday
afternoon all four of them had been attacked at least twice and had walked away from confrontations
at least once. It was getting easier and easier to walk away, he thought that that was funny. After
dinner on Tuesday the group was surprised to find every Gryffindor from third year up waiting for
them in the common room.

They had appointed Seamus as their spokesperson and he had wasted no time demanding the reason
that they were not fighting. Harry had known this was coming and they had already talked about it.
All four stood to leave, ignoring the loud protestations but before walking up the stairs to go to the
rooms they had turned to face their fellow Gryffindors.

Harry was in front with Ron on his right and Hermione on his left. Neville was one stair up and right
behind Harry. Ron had come up with that arrangement and Harry agreed thinking it would be a
stronger show of force. The four stood there until all sound had ceased in the room. He didn’t know
it but the sight that the four friends made was impressive.

With his green eyes glowing with conviction and his friends standing beside him Harry gave the
speech that they had agreed on. It was short and to the point. Ron had argued that Harry was the
unofficial, never been voted on, leader of Gryffindor and they would listen. He had staked his
reputation on it. No matter that they didn’t know that Ron even had a reputation, the four of them
did know and no matter how much Harry protested, he gave in in the end. It was always easier that
way, he thought.

“We here are no longer children. It is time to put the pettiness aside. It stops now, here with us, and
we pass it on to the younger ones every chance we get. Now is not the time for this. We do not fight
because I said so.” Harry voice was not cold or angry but laced with conviction and righteousness
that had all of those present listening.

So saying they turned as one and walked up to Hermione’s Head Girl room to discuss what
happened. His speech would be all over the school by morning, they were counting on it. Harry was
shaking uncontrollably and sat down roughly on her bed. That was the first time he had exhibited
that much influence on his fellow Gryffindors and it had frightened him.

A few minutes later a knock came on the door and they were not surprised when Seamus opened the
door and said that it was agreed that they would do as Harry had said. Harry hyperventilated as soon
as Seamus had left the room and it was Neville that conjured a bag for him to breathe into until he
calmed down.

He remembered the look in Malfoys eyes as Harry once again turned from his sarcastic comment
and walked away. It was after lunch on Wednesday when Harry had been going to the library to
meet with the others to work on their homework and study for the owls. He had wanted to sleep but
knew that Hermione would just gripe at him if he didn’t show. He was walking tiredly down the
corridor, not really paying any attention to where he was going, when he had walked right into
Malfoy, knocking him to the floor.

“Watch where you are going Potter.” Malfoy said as he picked himself up off the floor.

“Sorry Malfoy.” Harry said distractedly as he went to walk around him.

“What the hell is going on with you Potter? No fight left heh.” Malfoy said in a cold voice that sent
shivers down Harry’s spine.

Shivers! Oh no, not now Harry groaned to himself. He needed to be strong before he said something
that he shouldn’t. Harry shrugged in response to the blonde’s question and once again went to walk
around him. As he turned to enter the library he glanced back and saw Malfoy standing in the same
place he had been when Harry had walked away from him. He was staring at him with a look on his
face that Harry was not able to identify.

Arg!

He was so sexy!

I told you to shut up!

He had had to endure the entire study time with Hermione watching him, never saying a word just
watching him. Now he really was getting scared.

Potions yesterday. No no no Harry was not going to think about that right now. He couldn’t believe
that he had done that. Everything that they had worked for could now be in jeopardy and it was all
his fault. How stupid could he have been? He had just wanted to wipe away that cold dead look that
was in his eyes. He had...oops someone was coming. Harry made sure that he was covered and
pulled the cloak over his head. He had been so engrossed in his memories that he hadn’t heard
anyone coming. Great it was Parkinson.

***************************************************************

Pansy stepped onto the Astronomy Tower. She had somehow forced herself not to release her
emotions until after she had reached the safety of the tower. All the way here her mind had been on
the letter that she had received from her father at dinner. He had stated quite clearly that she was to
get her Mark this Christmas, as the Dark Lord was tired of waiting.

And since Draco had convinced the Dark Lord and his father that having him get the Mark would go
against all their plans, she was going to be the one to get it early. Sometimes she hated Draco for it
but then other times she knew that he feared for her and would be there for her when she needed him.
She loved Draco, she always had. Too bad he didn’t love her back. He loved her she knew, just not
the way that she wanted him too.

Standing in the middle of the Tower with her face pointed skyward she finally let out her anger and
her fear with a scream that could wake the dead pouring all her emotions into it. When she was
finally silent, she fell to her knees, crying. She didn’t hear the gasp coming from her right and she
didn’t hear the footsteps coming up the stairs.

She didn’t know anyone was there until the arms came around her and she felt the familiar warmth
of her best friend. He had come to comfort her.

“Pansy,” Draco said softly, “it will be o.k. We will get thru this together. I won’t leave you to him.”
He slipped down onto the floor and pulled her into his embrace waiting for her sobs to disappear.

He ran his hands up and down her back and thru her hair trying to calm her down. He knew what
was in the letter, he had read it after she had ran from the room. Draco also knew the she resented
him for not being the one to have to take the Dark Mark and if she didn’t resent him, he resented
himself enough for the two of them

He rocked her back and forth in his arms, “Shhh...come on, where’s my girl. I won’t leave you.
Please Pansy” he whispered to her.

Harry tried to move slowly and without sound after his foot had went to sleep. He didn’t want to see
this. He didn’t want to see the man that he loved holding another in his arms. Loved! Who said
anything about love? You don’t love Malfoy. You can’t. Harry, oh God!

Draco’s head snapped up as he heard something. He looked around the Tower but seeing nothing
returned his attention back to the girl in his arms. Pansy’s tears had stopped and she just lay there in
his arms taking all the comfort from him that she could. Sighing she looked up at him and gave him
a small smile.

“Thanks Draco. I needed that.” She said almost back to the Pansy that he knew.

“Anytime Love.” Draco said with a laugh. “You okay?”

“I will be in a few minutes.” Pansy said softly, “I suppose you read the letter?”

“Yeah”

‘I have until Christmas Draco. What are we going to do?” Pansy said in a small frightened voice,
hugging him close.

Draco hugged her back, “We get rid of Voldemort before then, that’s what we do.” he said.

Harry could not control his gasp of surprise that time and he saw Draco’s head snap up and look
around.

“Who’s there?” Draco snapped. “Show yourself now.”

“What..” Pansy started to say.

“Shh...someone else is here. I heard something.” Draco said.

Draco stood up helping Pansy to her feet. He noticed that she moved to his right side and stood there
waiting to see what he was going to do. It was just like when they trained. They took their cue from
him.

“Show yourself or I swear I will start throwing hexes everywhere and I will be sure to hit you with
something.” Draco snarled his voice cold.

Harry sighed. This was not the way he had wanted to reveal what he knew but it was a way that he
could work to his advantage.

So Slytherin of you.

Bite me!

Oh can I? can I?

Shut up!

He stood up and let the cloak fall from him to the cold stone floor of the Tower.

Pansy gasped but said nothing.

Draco looked shocked when he saw who was standing there.

Harry smirked.

“Hi” he said into the silence.

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Enjoy!

LMG
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I Understand