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Marvin the Mad Muggle	By : AuctorRubra Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1883 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Disclaimer: It�s not mine! *sob* Harry, all of his
friends, and the entirety of Potterverse all belong to J.K. Rowling and I swear
that I�m not making any money off of it. BUT�Marvin is mine, mine, mine and if
you touch him I will hex you into oblivion

Author: All right, here goes�

Harry: Wait a minute!

Author: *sigh* What is it now, Harry?

Harry: I demand to know how much longer I�m going to be
stuck as a girl.

Snape: *snigger*

Author: I�m not telling you that. It ruins the story.

Harry: You�ve been neglecting us.

Author: I was finishing a chapter on a different story.
One that YOU are in I might add.

Harry: Can I please be a man again soon?

Author: The boobs are only for a little while longer, I
promise.

Harry: *mumbles something*

Author: What was that?

Harry: It�s not the boobs I�m worried about. *blushes*

Author: OH! Well�er�yes�IT will be back soon. Stop
worrying.

Snape: Just one minute! Are you trying to deny me the
satisfaction of�

Dumbledore: Severus, I believe that Harry has probably learned
his lesson.

Snape: *growls* I do not care what you believe. The entire
muggle population currently

believes that you are deceased.
Therefore I have decided to cave to popular

opinion and treat you as though you
no longer exist, you meddling old coot.

Author: All of you shut up or I�m calling Ron! *Silence
fills the room* Very well. On

with the show. Read, Review, and
Enjoy!

Chapter 10: Revenge in the Skif

Harry sat up and slowly stretched,
his back was stiff from falling asleep on his office couch. He fumbled around
for a bit until he found his glasses and sighed in relief as they slipped onto
his nose.

�I better go see how Marvin�s
coming on his book,� Harry mumbled to himself.

Making his way through the
corridors Harry thought about his conversation the night before with Lucius and
Arthur. It was obvious that the two friends were not going to give up too
easily on talking with Marvin. With how excited they always got over all
things muggle, Harry was just grateful that they had not resorted to kidnapping
some pour unsuspecting sap off the streets of London. Maybe it would not hurt
to let them visit with Marvin�after he had explained Lucius� actions and the
way he was represented in Marvin�s favorite books.

Pushing into his chambers, Harry
glanced around and saw the Marvin was not in the sitting room as he had
anticipated. The guest bedroom door was closed, so Harry assumed that Marvin
had stayed up until past the crack of dawn reading and had finally succumbed to
sleep. He made his way over to the kitchen nook and prepared some tea. As he moved
back into the sitting room to curl up before the fire, Harry noticed something
on the floor and somewhat underneath one of the chairs. He set his teacup on
the coffee table and dropped to his knees for a better look. Sure enough, it
was Marvin�s copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It looked
to have been dropped rather carelessly, without a bookmark of any kind.

A tiny knot began to form in
Harry�s stomach and he jumped to his feet and ran into the guest room.
Marvin�s bags were present, but the bed appeared unused. Harry went back to
the book in the hopes that it would hold some clue as to where his friend had
run off to. Picking it up off the floor, he noted that Marvin seemed to have
made it very near to the end. He skimmed a few pages, looking for anything
that might have upset the muggle. And there is was, Harry himself telling the
Fat Lady that Dumbledore had died.

Ha! That�s rich.

Harry then began to work his way
backwards. With every page, his apprehension grew. There was a long scene in
which he was locked in a half-cocked duel with Snape, something he knew Marvin
would not appreciate. Even worse, Harry was afraid he knew why he was fighting
with the Potions Master. He skimmed back a few pages further and soon had his
answer. His mouth hung open as he silently read the lines telling him that
Severus Snape was about to kill Albus Dumbledore.

Oh that�s just bloody
fantastic! Marvin probably went insane over that.

Harry tossed the book onto the
couch and flew out the door. He could only hope that Marvin was still with the
Headmaster being reassured that no such event ever took place in any way,
shape, or form.

When he reached the spiral steps
that led to the headmaster�s office, he was unhappy to find the gargoyle out of
its usual place. The sound of angry voices drifted down to him as he hurried
up the steps and into Albus� office. Snape and Albus were seated close
together, a copy of HBP clutched between them, and they seemed to be arguing
over some issue. Harry was pretty sure that he knew which one. Unfortunately,
Marvin was nowhere in sight.

�I�m telling you that it�s obvious
that that crazed woman means for me to have done it on your orders,� Snape
shouted. �She set the situation up so that I was trapped. It was the only
logical recourse.�

Albus snorted (something Harry had
never seen or heard the older wizard do). �Severus, I would never do anything
so ridiculous! If it really were necessary for me to die, I would have let
Draco do it. Your position as the Order�s spy was too important for you to be
alienated from Harry and the others. Therefore, it�s obvious that she means
for you to have turned traitor.�

�Ridiculous,� Snape roared. �It�s
what she did to Lucius all over again!�

Harry watched the two argue for a
few more moments and then coughed to gain their attention. �When is the last
time that either of you saw Marvin? He isn�t in my rooms and his book was
lying on the floor. I assume from the�er�animated discussion you two are
having that he came here to tell you what he read.�

�Yes,� Severus hissed. �I suppose
you�re just thrilled about this, Potter. You�ll finally be able to do to me in
print all the things that you were never given an excuse for in real life.
That blasted Rowling chit will surely have you inflict some form of painful,
righteous revenge upon me in the next book.�

Harry opened his mouth to speak,
but was cut off by Albus. �Ha! So you�re admitting that she means for you to
be a traitor?�

Harry could hear Snape�s teeth
grinding together from where he stood across the room. �No, I�m simply
pointing out that if she keeps Potter true to form he will hunt me down a
murder me without ascertaining the reasons for my actions.�

�Oh I like that!� Harry marched
over to Snape and drew up all the height that his current feminine form could
muster. Mostly it only seemed to make his chest puff out, which caused him to
blush and effectively destroyed any intimidating effect he might have had.

�Potter, you know very well that
you would have latched on to any reason to attack me back then.� Snape looked
rather amused at Harry�s attempt at physical intimidation.

�Well, if you hadn�t been such a
greasy git all the time then maybe I wouldn�t have felt that way,� Harry
snapped. He then gave the Potions Master a thoughtful look. �Come to think of
it, not much has changed considering the way you�ve been treating Marvin.�

�What are you talking about,
Potter.� Snape frowned and Harry very nearly laughed. As if the arse did not
realize that he had been cruel and manipulative.

�You USED him and you treat him
like he�s some little annoying child, just because he�s a muggle and he likes
you.� Harry put his hands on his hips and tried not to think about how
ridiculous he must look. �Listen, I don�t have time for this. I can�t find
Marvin and this is the last place he was at.�

Snape sighed and then began to
relate exactly what had happened from the moment Marvin found him in the
hallway until the time he noticed he was missing. Harry listened eagerly and
froze when Snape mentioned what time it had been when Marvin slipped out.

�Damn! That�s the same time
Lucius and Arthur left my office.� Harry cursed softly and tried to think of
where they might have taken his friend. Perhaps he should not have made it
seem like he would never let Lucius speak with Marvin again. �They must have
taken him. Snape, you HAVE to change me back. If I�m going to go get him I
can�t worry about this wispy body being up to the challenge of throwing a solid
punch at Lucius.�

Snape glared at him for a moment.
�I don�t know, Potter, I rather like you this way. If I manage to tune out
your voice at least I have a pleasant view.�

�You sick, sadistic bastard,�
Harry shrieked and then winced at the sound of his high-pitched voice. He
whipped out his wand and pointed at Snape. �Turn me back NOW.�

�Nope,� Snape said with an
uncharacteristic lopsided grin. �And you can�t make me.�

�What is wrong with you,� Harry
yelled shaking his head. Obviously the news that he was supposed to be a
murdering traitor had caused Snape to come unhinged, but Harry could not see
why it bothered the man. Everyone around him had suspected that he was capable
of such things during the war. Why would he care now after he had proven
beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was dedicated to the light?

Snape sighed and pinched the
bridge of his nose. �Calm down, Potter. If Lucius really does have the muggle
I don�t he�s in any danger.�

Harry snorted. �That�s easy for
you to say, you don�t care about him.�

Snape gave him a sharp look. �I
tire of your presumptuous nature, Potter. You are in no position to judge who
or what I do or do not care about.�

�Spineless snake,� Harry snarled.
�You�re just afraid that I�ll beat you to a pulp once I have my own body back.�

�ENOUGH,� Albus bellowed. �I have
grown quite tired of your bickering over the years, my boys. I am afraid that
in light of recent discoveries I have lost my patience. You may go search for
Marvin after, and only after, you have worked out your differences within
reason. Mainly, until you Severus have been appeased enough by Harry to return
him to his proper form.�

�Albus, you can�t��Harry started
but stopped when he saw the hard glint in the headmaster�s eye.

�I can and I really don�t care how
long it takes.�

With that, the elderly wizard
snapped his fingers and Harry felt a tug behind his navel that was quite
similar to what he felt when using a portkey. Harry squinted his eyes shut as
he felt the world spin out of control for a moment. When he dared to open them
again, he did not like what he saw. He was in a tiny little boat, with Snape
sitting across from him. They appeared to be in the middle of the school lake
and magically anchored in place. The worst part of Harry�s observation was
that they appeared to be lacking oars.

�Shit,� both men said
simultaneously.

__________________________________________________

Severus glanced warily at Potter
to see if the boy still held his wand. When he saw no sign of it, he carefully
began to feel in his robes for his own. It was, unfortunately missing.
�Damn.�

�What is it,� Potter spat.
Stupid, hotheaded boy was obviously going to play sullen for some unnamed
length of time.

�My wand is gone,� Severus said
slowly, trying to pull off a nonchalant tone when he was actually panicking.
He did NOT go without his wand under any circumstances. He did not really think
a five foot six, one hundred and thirty pound Potter could do anything to him,
but that was no reason to take a chance.

He realized immediately that he
should have kept his mouth shut and prayed that Potter would not notice. The
boy�s currently female face pulled into a feral grin that sent shivers through
him. �Really, Professor? Imagine, Severus Snape wandless and vulnerable.�

�A lack of a wand does not make me
easy prey, Potter,� Severus growled. �Once again you prove my theory that you
are heir to your father�s boundless arrogance!�

Too late Severus realized that he
really should not have tried to provoke the boy. The words had barely left his
lips when he noticed a small figure rocketing towards him. Before his mind
could completely register that Potter had attacked him he found himself flying
ass over teakettle into the lake. He bobbed up out of the water spluttering
and turned an angry glare towards Potter and was surprised to see him sitting
there stone still, his mouth forming a surprised �O�.

Severus had to restrain himself
from rolling his eyes. He swam over to the side of the boat and pulled himself
up a bit. �Feel better, Potter?�

Potter seemed to snap out of his
horrified trance at that point. �Si�sir, I am so sorry! I don�t know what
came over me. I really am��

�Oh do shut up,� Severus said
without venom. His lips quirked a bit when the boy obeyed him and a mischievous
idea came to him. �Do you feel better now? Tell me the truth.�

�Er�yes, but that doesn�t mean
that I��

�Silence,� Severus snapped.
�Would you mind helping me back in.�

Potter nodded vigorously and
hurried to help pull him in and Severus could barely suppress his smirk. As
soon as the boy was close enough he grabbed the front of his robes and yanked,
hard. Potter flew over his head and into the water. Severus then dragged
himself the rest of the way into the boat and waited for the angry boy/girl to
rise from the water. When the drenched female form finally did break the
surface, he could not suppress a short bark of laughter. If Potter had been
angry, Severus� laughter seemed to surprise him out of it. A small, bemused
smile graced the boy�s lips.

�Do you feel better, Severus?�
Severus was too busy holding the rest of his laughter to answer so he simply
nodded. �Will you be willing to turn me back then and help me find Marvin?�

Severus composed himself. �Of
course, Harry. Just as soon as we�re both in dry robes.�

As soon as the words left his mouth,
he felt that familiar pull near his navel and soon they were both standing
dripping in the headmaster�s office. The twinkle was back in the old coot�s eye,
but he was clinging to a feigned look of displeasure.

�I must say that I�m a little disappointed
in the two of you,� Albus said slowly. �All these years of bickering, name
calling, and taunting and it takes you less than ten minutes in a small boat to
set things right?�

�I wouldn�t say that it fixed
everything, Albus,� Severus drawled. He was not going to start fawning over
the young man at any rate. �Now, if you�d care to return my wand I believe I
have a promise to keep.�

�Very well,� Albus said and
snapped his fingers.

Both wands appeared on the older
wizard�s desk. Severus snatched his up and with a quick flick of his wrist,
Harry was set right. Potter seemed a bit confused for a moment and then
proceeded to grab his chest. He must have been happy with what he did not feel
because a moment later he jumped into the air and let out a happy little howl.
Then he did something that Severus had not anticipated at all. He found
himself swept into a firm hug and twirled about.

�Potter�Potter�POTTER, put me down
this instant!� When he was on his feet once more, he let out a tiny sigh of
relief. �Shall we go find the muggle?�

Harry frowned for a moment. �I
really don�t know where to start. I know they wouldn�t take him to the Burrow
or Molly would have their heads. Do you have any idea where they might go? It
would have to be somewhere Marvin could show them things, I�m certain of that
much.�

Severus thought hard for a
moment. If Lucius did decide to let the muggle lead them somewhere, he had a pretty
good idea as to where the silly boy would take them. �I think I know where
they are, but we might want reinforcements.�

�Who,� Potter asked warily.

�I think Draco might be interested
in this situation,� Severus said with a small smile. At least with his godson
along Potter would be too busy to bother him.

�No, not him,� Potter whined.
�Anyone but Draco. I�m begging.�

�Harry, just try to focus on how
embarrassing it will be for Lucius to get caught by his own son�again. You
know how Draco looks down upon his father�s muggle fascination.� Severus felt
his lips twitch with a small smile. The last incident had involved some
rather�sensitive muggle materials. Lucius had absolutely no idea what they
were, but Draco for some reason had, and had been rather vocal in his
disapproval. Of course, then Lucius wanted to know how Draco knew what the
various toys were for. Yes, it had been an interesting evening.

�You�re right, Severus,� Harry
said, a smirk firmly in place. �Draco may be just the leverage we need.�

A/N: I�m so sorry this took so long guys! I got
really distracted. I�m going to start working on the next chapter right away.
With any luck I�ll have that one posted as well before I head to bed.
- 9
- 10
- 11
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Marvin the Mad Muggle