How Life Can Be

Title: How Life Can Be
Author: Jih Pun
Summary: I don’t feel like writing this again!
Warnings: I believe you know the warnings by now, eh?
Disclaimer: Stated in Chapter 1

Thanks everyone who has left me a detailed review! I get all giddy and do a jig! Okay, maybe not a jig, but I smile really big! This is my biggest chapter yet…being 10 pages! I hope you like it. It kinda made me wanna cry…so…I hope you bawl your eyes out!


Chapter 10

Draco dried his tears and tried to gain control over himself because he knew he would be facing Bradley soon. Draco didn’t want to appear weaker than he all ready was.

The pale man wrapped a soft, fluffy blue towel around his waist and took another glance at himself in the mirror. The red splotches and puffiness associated with crying had reduced drastically, leaving Draco with a slight flush gracing his cheeks.

Draco took a calming breath and walked out of the bathroom, wondering through the house.

“Bradley?...Baby? Are you here?...Can you hear me?” Draco had called out, only hearing his own voice penetrating the darkened home. He made is way to the kitchen and noticed the absence of Bradley’s keys and wallet. Bradley had a habit of leaving the items in a large crystal candy dish Draco had kept near the door for when children came over for a visit or whenever Draco had decided to have a little dinner for his children and their parents. It was a great opportunity for the parents to bond with each other, knowing that they weren’t alone when it came to dealing with autism.

‘I guess he went out for a bit...’ Draco thought as he turned to a tasteful clock on the wall. He watched for a moment, mesmerized, as the big hand landed on the eight and the small hand ticked towards the twelve. He snapped out of it when the clock began to chime the hour. Draco couldn’t believe it was all ready this late. He seemed to be taking up sleep as a new hobby these days, but Draco told himself that stress would do that…and he knew that he has been exceptionally stressed as of late.

He felt a wave of lethargy roll through his body; his legs becoming heavy and his head feeling somewhat weightless and decided that he really didn’t want to the children’s records at the moment anyways. And then a thought occurred to him while thinking of work…he had told Cheryl he would call her while at the hospital a few days ago.

Draco groaned. He had totally forgotten. “Oh bloody hell…she’s probably worried mental about me…I will definitely be getting an earful.” Draco grumbled as he padded to his room so he could lie down and talk on phone at the same time.

Cheryl and Draco had hit it off immediately when they had first met. He and Bradley were moving boxes and furniture into the apartment when she offered to help. Something about her made Draco feel special. The way she coddled him and mothered him, had always made Draco’s heart skip a little beat. His friends back a Hogwarts weren’t that way. So when Cheryl had been the first to do so, it was pleasant surprise. She was a home-grown beauty that made men drooling in her wake, and superb manners to match. She had a personality about her that made kindness and understanding seem to radiate from her. You knew she was sincere; you could feel it rolling off her, you could see it bubbling over. She had definitely earned the privilege of being considered part of Draco’s family, since family is what you make it.

They were each other’s support; having many a soggy shoulder after their get-togethers. She may not have known about his past, but she knew enough to know that it had hurt Draco immensely and was still haunting him. She knew about him being a wizard but that wasn’t anything freaky to her. She had a magical cousin and was used to the odd goings on of witches and wizards. She had also known about the war, but didn’t know his part in it or the extent in which it had affected her best friend she loved to call “Blondy”. They shared the same interests, such as all things Japanese, especially anime and Japanese Rock. Draco had actually gotten Cheryl her job at the clinic and of course, she came well qualified as a secretary and payroll manager. She was very intelligent, eerily reminding him of that fluffy-haired Granger back in school, and she held a degree in business finances.

Draco rummaged through is drawers and closet searching the most comfortable pajama’s he could find. He usually didn’t wear anything to bed but maybe a pair of underwear or boxers occasionally, but tonight, he didn’t want his skin rubbing against the somewhat stiff sheets of the bed. Those sheets were Bradley’s preferred kind and Draco didn’t argue. He found a pair that was made of a slinky material that sported a rather popular theme from ‘david and goliath’. It had a boy in underwear spattered all over them with the saying ‘I like to run around in my underoos’ Cheryl had given them to him as a joke, but Draco found them comfortable, even though they were somewhat girly.

Draco plopped down on the bed with an ‘umph’, picked up the receiver, and dialed Cheryl’s number. The phone rang four times before she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Cheryl. It’s Draco…sorry I haven’t…” Draco was cut off abruptly, knowing what was going to be said.

“Draco Malfoy! I just KNOW you are calling to APOLOGIZE for keeping me WORRIED! You were supposed to call me a FEW DAYS AGO! My hair’s turned grey thanks to you and ten years have been shaved off of my life! Do you know how worried I was? You come into work with a face only Picaso could paint and then go to the hospital and then don’t contact me! I was beginning to thing something had happened to you!” She calmed down and spoke again as if nothing loud had come out of her mouth, “So, how’s your mother?”

Draco sighed in relief, usually her tirades were much longer and she always sounded redundant, “I’m really sorry I haven’t gotten in touch with you sooner. I saw my mother and when I did come back home for a bit, I cam down with some sort of bug. I’ve a lot on my mind…but my mum’s doing all right. She’s stable. I’ll be going back tomorrow to help with a blood transfusion. The doctor said she should be as good as new.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Draco…so, how is everything there?”

“Everything’s fine…Brad’s been very caring these last couple days while I’ve been ill. You could say he nursed me back to health!”

“Well, he better or I swear I’ll kill him. I told you Draco, leave him! When they say love hurts, they don’t mean with blood and stuff. You are a downright sexy devil and you could get any man you wanted!”

“Cheryl, it’s not that simple. I love him and he’s been there for me. When I got here, I had no one and he helped me.”

Cheryl sighed; they had this argument almost daily, “Fine, Draco. Make your own mistakes. But when he does this again, I pray to whoever will listen, that that will be the last time. I love you Blondy and I would hate to have to go to jail for maiming his sorry arse.”

“Well, I have been thinking…a lot…and I’ve decided to give him one more chance. After that, I’ll be done with him. I love him, I really do, and I don’t want to hurt him. So it’s one more chance and that’s it.”

“Draco, you’re too forgiving, but that’s one of the things I admire about you. Well, I’ve got dinner on the oven and a date coming over tonight! I hate to cut you short, but I’m going to need to run.”

“It’s all right with me, you just better tell me the details of what happens! I’ll give you a call sometime…I’m not really sure when, but I’ll at least let you know I’m all right. Okay?”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll talk to you then…and do be careful, Draco. Bye!”

“Bye!” Draco hung up the phone and smiled. She was a unique girl that’s for sure. Her “mothering” annoyed him greatly, but also, he was very fond of it and would hate it if she stopped.

He glanced at the clock in his room and it read almost eight-thirty. He was feeling tired, but couldn’t get motivated enough to fall asleep. He reached over onto his nightstand and retrieved his book The Lebon collection: Essays on Potions Affecting Magical Creatures, 1564-Present. Draco loved this book. Most wizards would have called it dry reading, but Draco was always fascinated by potions and being part magical creature had interested him even more. The book automatically updated whenever a new essay was written. He read through the first 14 essays, scribbling little notes in the margins in some, before his eyes began to feel like lead. One last look at the clock before his eyes submitted to sleep showed the time to be ten sixteen. And Bradley was still not home. ‘Where is he? I hope he’s all right…I wish he would come home soon…’ Draco thought as his mind gave into the realm of dreams.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Draco tossed and turned in a light sleep, being anxious about his mother’s procedure and Bradley’s absence. Draco heard a clicking noise coming from the front door and snapped awake. That could be only one of two people; Bradley or someone else. Draco had looked at the bottom of the door and noticed that, even though he heard footprints, no one had turned on any lights.

Draco’s breathing became constricted. ‘Could this really be a burglar?’ The thin man quietly rose out of bed and tiptoed to the door, opening it just a crack. His eyes hadn’t adjusted to the dark so all he could see were two shadowed figures merging into one misshapen one. Draco heard a little gasp and throaty moan and tears came to his eyes. ‘That can’t be Bradley…he wouldn’t…’ He jerked a hand up towards his mouth to stifle a sob and continued to watch the betrayal of his beloved.

The two figures were going at it as if their lives depended on it. Hands were every where, lips were nipping and tugging, tongues were journeying. Draco could make out who was who now; the taller of the two men being Bradley. The Bradley shadow had begun unbuttoning his partner’s pants and had plunged a hand inside, cause the other man to shudder. Bradley whispered something in the other man’s ear and pushed him to the floor onto his knees. The man on the floor explored the inside of Bradley’s trousers before taking him in his mouth. Draco couldn’t contain himself any longer, and by accident a sob escaped his mouth. Bradley looked over at him watching and smirked, as if to boast that there was nothing Draco could do, and then went back to the task at hand, paying extra attention to making louder moaning noises

Draco’s tears were coming in rivers as he turned around to shut and lock the bedroom door. He was in shock. The first thing that came to mind was to get his belongings and leave. He reached underneath the bed and pulled out a large tan duffel bag and tossed it on the bed. Draco tried to drown out the sounds from the other room, but it was no use…it seemed as if with each passing second, they got louder and louder.

Draco was in a frenzy as he ripped clothes from hangers and threw them into the bag; nothing being folded. He moved to the drawers and being rummaging through them as well when he hear the sick sound of skin slapping against skin behind his door. But Draco stayed focused on the task at hand and didn’t notice he last moaning sounds that signaled the two men’s completion…or the click of the front door. All Draco heard next was a loud banging on his bedroom door.

“Draco…Honey…open the door.” Bradley’s voice was calm and sounded a bit slurred; no doubt from drinking.

“Leave me alone! I never…ever want to see you again.” Draco cried stuffing the bag.

The banging continued and Bradley’s voice escalated each time Draco told him no…when finally, Bradley busted the door right off the hinges. Draco turned towards the broken door and saw Bradley standing there, still naked. Bradley began to walk towards Draco and Draco kept moving backwards.

“Stay…S-Stay away from me…I don’t want you near me…”

“But Draco, I love you…”

“You love me enough to FUCK another man in OUR house IN FRONT OF ME?! HOW DARE YOU!” Draco was shaking from anger and fear.

“Draco, it was just tonight. With you being sick, how am I supposed to get laid, hmm? If you won’t do your duties to me, I will certainly find someone just as suitable.”

“I WILL NOT! THIS IS OVER AND I’M LEAVING!” Draco turned back to his bag.

Bradley rushed up behind Draco and grabbed a head full of blond tresses, yanking back roughly, “YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! YOU ARE MINE! AND I WILL DO AS I FUCKING PLEASE!”

“LET GO OF ME YOU SICK FUCKING BASTARD!” Draco yelled out.

‘NO! YOU WILL DO AS I SAY. DO YOU HEAR ME?!”

“How could you do this to me? Why? What have I done to deserve this from you?” Draco whispered.

“…Just because I can, Sweetheart…” Bradley’s other hand began trailing the length of Draco’s body.

“No…not this time Bradley…I’m leaving…” Draco tried to break free of the arms, but he knew he was weaker than Bradley.

“I said you aren’t going anywhere.” Bradley spoke as the hand that had been touching Draco dropped and returned only to press the cold point of an object to the side of his neck.

Draco looked down and saw it was one of Bradley’s many collectors’ knives. ‘Oh god…he’s going to kill me this time…’ Draco thought as his eyes became blurry with new tears.

“You know what to do Draco…now I suggest you get to it…” Draco hesitated and Bradley screamed, “NOW YOU LITTLE WHORE!”

Draco was shaking so bad, he couldn’t get his clothes off. Bradley didn’t want to be patient this time. The hand that was buried in Draco’s hair pulled back roughly, causing Draco to bend in a way his body wasn’t used to. He screamed out and Bradley laughed.

“Does that hurt? ANSWER ME!” Bradley was talking into Draco’s ear.

“…yes…yes…please stop…”

“No…” Bradley pushed Draco and sent him falling to the floor. He heard a dull crack as he fell, but paid no mind to that. Draco was gasping, choking on his cries. He looked up into the eyes of the man he loved and saw nothing. There was no love there. Had Draco imagined it all these years?

Bradley stalked towards him and straddled the crying man’s waist. Draco tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. Bradley leaned down and planted a one-sided kiss to Draco’s lips. Since Bradley didn’t think of Draco’s hands, one swung up and connected with his nose.

Bradley yelped and covered his face with his knife free hand, checking for blood. When there was none, he backhanded Draco across the face busting his lips and his ring leaving a large gash across this cheek.

“YOU LITTLE BITCH!” Bradley punched the blonde in the stomach and once more in the face. “TELL ME YOU’RE SORRY! TELL ME HOW WORTHLESS YOU ARE! TELL ME, SLUT, HOW YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!”

The only thing Draco knew how to do was to continue this game for as long as possible. “…I’m sorry Bradley…You’re…You’re right…about me…I’ve never been anything.”

Bradley leaned in closer, trailing the blade of the knife down Draco’s partly swollen face…down his neck…onto his chest. There, Bradley pushed the silver tip deeper causing the shirt to rip and blood to blossom forth, soaking everything. Pain filled Draco like nothing he had experienced before and all he could think of was getting away…alive. He began squirming and bucking his hips beneath the black haired man he didn’t know anymore. His efforts were useless, and only incensed Bradley more. He was screaming a chorus of “no” and “please stop” and “I love you”. Finally Bradley had enough; tossing the knife aside he quickly wrapped his large hand around Draco’s neck. He squeezed like there was nothing to hold him back, eyes glazing over.

Draco tired to escape the grip, but he just couldn’t it. He was gasping and he began to feel his hands and feet start to tingle. But suddenly, Bradley just let go and stood up. Draco rolled over on his side holding his neck, sputtering and coughing. Bradley reached down and grabbed Draco by the hair again, bringing him to stand in front of Bradley. The bigger man shoved Draco against the wall, face first, next to a nightstand by the bed and twisted his arms behind his back with his left hand.

Bradley leaned in close to Draco’s ear, “Now be my good little slut…” Bradley placed his other hand at the waistband of Draco’s pajamas.

“I SAID NO BRADLEY!” Draco threw his head back and hit Bradley in the bridge of the nose. To Bradley, it hurt like hell, but he was not going to let go. Draco wasn’t going to run from this. Not this time. Bradley felt blindly with his right hand for something, anything, heavy… ‘Aha! Here’s something!’ Bradley smiled.

The next thing Draco heard was the shattering of glass, the pain in his head, and a warm, wet gushing on his face. Draco looked down, his blood dripping in his eyes, making it difficult to see. On the floor was a busted picture frame; glass was everywhere.

Draco was in a daze now, resigned to dieing. Thoughts were flowing through his head at a quick pace; things he had done, things he wanted to do, his dreams, his friends, his family, people he hadn’t made up to yet.

Everything was becoming fuzzy, as if her were in a dream. Draco didn’t feel it when Bradley raped him against the wall of their bedroom and took the pleasures from him that are made for those in love. He didn’t remember how he fell to the glass covered floor or the shards cutting through his body. He didn’t even so much as see Bradley as he kicked and punched and beat him with whatever was handy until Bradley could do nothing more. All Draco could do or think was guilt.

‘If I hadn’t been so selfish…If I had never found the ritual…If I had never fallen in love…I wouldn’t be here…’

Bradley had left and Draco rolled onto his back and began to choke on his own blood. Draco didn’t know if something in his mouth was cut or if it was coming from inside him, but at that moment he just didn’t care.

‘I’m so sorry Mum…I’ve let you down…but…I deserve this…I’ve paid for my crimes now, haven’t I?...Harry? Oh God…I’ve hurt you the most and you don’t even know it…’

Draco was lying on his back, one hand over his stomach and the other lying by his side, his breathing becoming irregular and shallow. He was looking at the ceiling and one image came to his mind…Harry Potter.

‘I have to apologize to him…Harry? Oh Harry can you hear me? I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? I never should have done the things I have to you…I…I loved you and yet I pushed you from me…I’ve suffered from my selfishness all these years…so I beg you…please forgive me…love?’

xXxXxXxXx

Draco’s world turned black, but in another world, a raven haired man jerked himself awake, a hand over his heart.

Harry Potter was breathing heavily, glistening with sweat, his heart ached dully and was beating wildly. He felt something tugging at his mind; it felt curious. So Harry let down the guards that protected his mind. He didn’t know why, but something made him feel this was urgent.

Suddenly, scenes flooded his mind. Were these fantasies? Were these memories? As the scenes flew past him, he couldn’t remember a single one.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Memory Number 1

Harry and Draco were sitting in the Room of Requirement sitting on a fur rug in front of the fireplace.

“Draco…I want you to know that…well I…I love you.”

Draco looked up, shocked, at his dark haired lover, “Oh Harry…I’ve waited so long to hear you say that…I love you…I always have.”

Harry took Draco in his arms as began planting light kisses all along his face. This particular day marked the five month anniversary of the two boys.

“Draco…the day you turned to our side was the day I thought my smile would never falter. I just can’t believe it happened so soon…I never thought I’d find love in the middle of my sixth year…and least of all I wasn’t expecting it to be you.”

Harry pushed Draco onto his back and made love to him like he never had before.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Memory Number 2

Harry and Draco were, again, in the Room of Requirement sitting on their favorite fur rug in front of the fireplace. But this time, the mood was different, and they were accompanied by Severus Snape.

Harry knew something was wrong and asked, “Draco? Love, tell me why you’re crying?”

Draco broke down, “I’m so sorry Harry, but there’s something I have to do.”

Harry took him into his arms and kissed the top of his blonde head, “No matter what it is, Draco, I’ll always love you. You can tell me anything.”

Draco looked up, “Harry…you can’t love me...please forgive me…” Draco started to back away.

“But…Draco…what about after the war? Who will I love then? Surely you know that I could never dare to love another?...Not as I have loved you.” Harry had tears in his eyes. They had been so happy and they had planned a life together after the defeat of Voldemort. Why the sudden change?

“Love…you’ll love again…but me, I’d just be in your way…We all have parts in this war, Harry, and my part would kill you. I can’t let you know. All I can say is…I’m sorry…I’ll always love you…for as long as I breathe…I swear…”

Draco turned to Severus Snape, “I’m ready…please hurry…” Draco tried to back away from Harry as much as possible but the raven haired boy’s seeker reflexes grabbed Draco’s hand and pulled him close.

Harry looked Draco in the eye, “I don’t know what’s about to happen…but I believe you…I trust you…But please…just one last kiss before you go?”

Draco nodded and pressed his lips gently to Harry’s. They both knew this was the end. Love couldn’t conquer anything, not when a war raged and the boy who was supposed to stop it was a child. The kiss ended and Draco turned around, his back facing Harry.

“Do it now, Severus…please…before I change my mind…”

Severus Snape walked up to Harry, wand pointing at his face. There was sympathy written all over his face, but this was for the best. They had no choice.

Harry whispered to Severus, “Tell Draco…that I forgive him…” and Harry closed his eyes, ready for whatever they had in store for him. Harry could hear Draco weeping in the shadows..

“Obliviate!” Severus spoke and Harry dropped to the floor fast asleep.

Harry could hear voice after he fell as his mind battled to keep his precious memories.

“It is done, Draco. Help me carry him to the infirmary. When he awakes…he will not remember your affair…only that you are an ally in this war. When we have finished at the infirmary, we will start the ritual right away. Your body won’t be able to cope without him for too much longer now that you have broken ties.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Harry’s head was pounding. How could this be? He was thinking back in his mind and he noticed that after that last memory, Dumbledore was killed. He remembered Draco always being around, being a spy, but he never had anything to do with him again.

‘Why? WHY DAMNIT!...What does this mean?’ Harry leapt from bed his mind on Draco. He had to find him…he wanted forgiveness but Harry didn’t understand. A feeling of dread settled over him and he had one task at hand; find Draco. He quickly got dressed and, remembering the address Draco had given on his medical information at the hospital, he appartated to find the petit blonde man.

xXxXxXxXxXx

AN: I hope you liked this one! Let me know what you think! I find it really tough to write violent scenes…so if anyone wants to BETA let me know! I’m looking for a new one!