Better This Way

Can't Get You out of My Head

“Hermione, I’d like to talk to you about your ceremony,” Jane said before smoothing her skirt to sit down next to Hermione on the sofa. “I know that Viktor is a wizard, and we always expected you would probably have a wizarding ceremony, but I was thinking perhaps since he is not close with his family, that we might do it at our church, with our vicar.”


“I am sure that Viktor would be fine with that, Mum,” Hermione said absently.


The last few days had been a blur. So much had happened between her mother planning the wedding, and the letter she received from Minerva. She sort of felt like she was on the outside, watching. She kept having to re-convince herself that she was doing what was best for her. She doubted Viktor would want to leave Durmstrang, so really, she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t replied to Minerva’s letter.


Being the Transfiguration mistress at Hogwarts had been her dream job. She never expected Albus to retire. Well, perhaps she expected him to someday, just not now. What would Viktor do at Hogwarts, anyway? No, staying at Durmstrang was definitely the only option. Only and imbecile would throw away an excellent opportunity for a fling. She shrugged off the thought. After all, Viktor wasn’t a fling. He loved her. They were getting married in a few days’ time.


“Are you alright, Dear? You seem a little bit dazed,” Jane said, looking at her daughter concernedly.


“I’m fine, Mum,” Hermione said, a little embarrassed. “Just pre-wedding nerves I think.”


“I remember those,” Jane said with a smile.


“Thanks, Mum, for taking care of all of this for me. I am completely clueless about this type of thing,” Hermione said, giving her mother’s knee a light squeeze.


“It’s no problem at all, Darling. You just leave it to Mummy,” Jane said, giving her daughter a warm smile.


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“Have you found a replacement yet?” Severus asked as he scraped the last of his ice cream from the bowl.


He had been eating a lot of ice cream lately.


“I’ve got a few prospects, but no responses yet,” Minerva replied, not taking her eyes off her copy of the Morning Prophet.


Severus wiped his mouth on his napkin.


“I’ll leave you to your paper then,” He said, and bowed silently from the room.


Once back in his rooms, Severus lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The mahogany box lay beside him. He had been debating what to do with it, and ended up just leaving it on his bed. He had been avoiding the Prophet like crazy. After all, the marriage of a former quidditch superstar was bound to register as big news.


He wasn’t sure he could handle seeing a photograph of Hermione with that bleeding oaf. He imagined she would look lovely in wedding robes. He just never imagined she would be walking down an aisle towards anyone but himself.


He closed his eyes and tried to remember how she tasted. He could still smell her sweet perfume on his Christmas robes. He felt an uncomfortable lump rising in his throat. Her skin had felt so soft. She had looked at him with such a sadness, such a desire.


He wished he could go back to that moment, the moment before she had begun to cry. He wished he could just wrap his arms around her and hold her to him. He had only ever told a woman he loved her once, and she had stepped all over his heart like it meant nothing to her.


Now, it seemed ridiculous that he let her go. He wished he had a time turner. He wished he could go back and make her stay. He wished he could even just go back to that moment and freeze time forever. He would gladly spend the rest of his life on that bed in the Leaky Cauldron if it meant he could hold her and never let go.


He reached up and wiped away the unwanted tears furiously. He was Severus Tobias Snape. He did not cry. Crying was for Hufflepuffs, not for Slytherins. He couldn’t understand why his heart ached so badly. After all, it wasn’t the first time a woman he loved was marrying another man. He hadn’t cried when Narcissa chose Lucius. Why was he crying now?


He supposed perhaps he just wasn’t meant to find happiness. Perhaps he was paying for all the wrong he had done under Voldemort’s service.


He pictured Hermione standing before him again, soft chestnut curls cascading around her shoulders. Her amber eyes full of conflict, and her pouty red mouth wet with passion. He imagined her lacy white bra and emerald green satin knickers.


He saw the delicate curve of her waist. It was this image that he clung to before drifting into a deep sleep. A sleep filled with memories of Hermione; memories of her soft laughter, and the funny way she rose one eyebrow when she was challenging a theory.


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Hermione awoke with a start. She felt guilty for dreaming about Severus. She felt guilty that it was Severus who was kissing her tenderly and trailing his fingers down her spine instead of Viktor.


The wedding was in two days, and Hermione supposed it was just the fact that she would have to finally let go forever that was making her have these dreams. She supposed that some part of her, buried deep, just was not ready to let go.


Hermione sleepily climbed out of bed and went downstairs to find her mother and Viktor already having breakfast.


“Oh, good morning, Dear,” Jane said, taking a sip of her tea. “I was just telling Viktor that I hope you kids don’t mind that we didn’t have enough time to announce your engagement in the Tribune or to the Daily Prophet. After all, by the time the story would have ran, you two will already be married.”


Hermione managed a weak smile. It was true after all. She was surprised at how quickly her mother was able to plan a decent wedding. She snorted in her tea. Perhaps not that surprised after all. Hermione knew the real reason her mother was so excited about her only daughter getting married. She wanted a grandbaby. That much was perfectly clear.


Children could certainly wait, in Hermione’s opinion. She had way too much she would like to accomplish before she was ready to be a parent. She always assumed if she and Severus got married, they would have waited several years before having any children, and even then, they would probably have only had one.


She set her cup back on the counter, hand trembling slightly. She needed to take a shower and immerse herself in something. She could not spend the day thinking about what might have been with Severus.


A/N: Thank you all so much for being patient. My little girl is almost back to normal now, and so I hope to be able to post the last few chapters over the next couple of days. There is a big family birthday party thing I am supposed to go to tomorrow (3 ppl's birthdays made into one big party) and those things tend to last for hours and hours, so I don't know if I will get the chance to write tomorrow, but if I can, I certainly will.