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Struggling Through New Beginnings	By : HarryGinny4eva Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 31233 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Chapter 10

�But, every time she looks at me, I feel like a heel.�

Blaise, sprawled out across the sofa across from his friend, sneered, �Greg,
get a damn grip! She�s the same know-it-all, pain in the ass, friend of all
that�s good and pure, bitch she was last year.�

�Don�t call her that!� Greg exploded. �You weren�t there. You didn�t see her.
She was hurt, sad and scared. She could have left both me and Draco to die
after what Vince did, but she didn�t.�

�They didn�t,� Draco added quietly from his seat. �Potter and Weasley were
there, too, don�t forget.�

Blaise sat up and looked at both of them as if they�d suddenly sprouted wings,
�What is wrong with you guys?! Greg�s got his nuts in a twist over Granger, of
all people, and you�re calling POTHEAD and WEASEL by their names?�

�Things change, Blaise,� Draco sighed tiredly.

�But, they don�t have to!� Blaise almost begged. �Not that much! Not here, too.�

Before either could respond the upstairs door opened and the three women came
down the steps. For very different reasons each man braced himself, but they
were left unnoticed as Ginny, Hermione and Pansy went past them without a word.
When the kitchen door closed all three released breaths they didn�t want to
acknowledge having held.

Draco shifted on the sofa and said thoughtfully, �You know, a lot has happened.
Changed. Too much in my opinion, but�Blaise, it�s
never going to be like it was. It�s time to grow up and figure out what happens
from here.�

Blaise harrumphed and crossed his arms as he looked into the fire.

Draco closed his eyes and the words he�d heard all summer slid from his mouth,
�There�s nothing wrong with being a pureblood with a long family history. It�s
something to be proud of, in fact. But, that family pride should never be taken
for anything more than what it is. It doesn�t make us smarter, or better, or
wealthier, in my case. It�s simply an accident of birth that put us where we
are.�

Greg looked at Draco and asked, �Do you really believe that?�

Blaise shook his head in denial, �No, he doesn�t! He was brainwashed, that�s
all. A few weeks back and he�ll be okay.�

�No, Blaise,� Draco interrupted as he opened his eyes to pin his friend with
his steely stare, �I think I do believe it. Mostly, at
least.�

When Blaise started to scoff Draco continued, �Think about it and be honest.
Name five purebloods in this whole school, who aren�t named Weasley or
Longbottom, that would or could have done what they did last year.�

Blaise looked away, but muttered, �The three of us, Pansy, and Theo.�

Greg shook his head sadly, �Count me out, Blaise. I know I couldn�t have faced
what they did. I read about some of the stuff they went through. I know I would
have run or given in at some point.�

�Well, the four of us could have�� Blaise said only to be cut off again by
Draco.

�Blaise, you saw where I stood, almost to the end. And, Pansy hid from the
whole thing like it wasn�t happening. Theo would have crumbled at the first threat, and you��

�Me, what? What?! Say it, damn you! Go ahead!� Blaise
jumped up from the sofa and paced in front of them as he shouted. �Blaise
Zabini is a fucking coward who hid behind his mother�s skirt in Brazil while
everyone else fought and his friends died! You don�t think I know what you�re
thinking; what everyone�s thinking. But, I didn�t run. I wasn�t hiding, dammit. I was protecting my mother; the only person on this
damn planet that gives a shit about me. She was scared. I couldn�t very well
tell her to suck it up, could I? No! I went with her. And, I let everyone else
fight the good fight. I NEVER gave up my beliefs. OUR
beliefs. I thought, no I KNEW we would win. Who the hell believed Potter
and his cronies would pull it off against the greatest dark wizard to ever
live?�

Both Greg and Draco stood up to try and calm him, but he continued on unabated,
�And, now we all have to start living all this new beginnings bull, and act like we aren�t above them all. We�re
better than every last one of them! Just because Pothead got in a lucky shot
after your wand mix-up! And, I have to swallow my outrage and pretend
everything is all fairies and clouds, as I cohabitate with a damn Gryffindor,
so that the Ministry, not-so-dead-dumbass-Dumbledore, and his pack of bloodtraitor, halfblood and mudblood followers, like your oh-so-perfect Granger, can��

What the murmurs of his friends hadn�t been able to do, the soft gasp behind
them did. All three men fell silent and whirled to face the three women
standing in the kitchen doorway.

Hermione stood stiffly, tears sliding down her face, her eyes clouded in
sadness and defeat. Ginny was red in the face and breathing heavily as her
magic crackled around her angrily. But, it was Pansy�s face that made each man
step back. In all the years they had known her, she had never shown more than
mild irritation or mild happiness. With Blaise�s words still hanging in the air
around them, her countenance held anger, disbelief, disappointment and intense
dislike as she advanced on him.

When she stood in front of him, she hissed, �You are a disgrace to our house,
this school, your supposed friends, and your mother. I am ashamed to have ever
called you my friend.�

Everyone flinched when her hand came up quickly and the sound of its crack
across Blaise�s face was heard throughout the room. She then turned to Draco,
who took another step back from her.

�Do you agree with him?� Pansy asked quietly, her eyes daring him to lie to
her.

Draco was silent as he stared at her like he�d never seen her before. Then he
looked slowly from Blaise, who still stood proudly, shaking with righteous
indignation, to Ginny, who simply stared at him hatefully as she awaited his
answer, and then finally to Hermione. He watched her lift her chin a bit and
straighten her shoulders, even as another tear slid down her face and her hand gripped
Ginny�s tightly. Her quiet, unflagging strength finally wrenched the answer
from him as her eyes met his.

�No.� He shook his head a little and continued to stare at Hermione. �No,
Pansy, I don�t. Not anymore.�

Pansy looked at Greg who silently shook his head, even as he hung it to avoid
looking at the hurt on Hermione�s face any longer.

Pansy turned back to Blaise once more. Then she drooped as if the weight of the
world was on her shoulders and said softly, �I have spent the past seven years
at this school disliking people for being born to a certain family, or being
smart, or God forbid, simply nice to others. And, I have let everyone else tell
me who I should be, what I should say and think and do for all that time. But,
this summer that all changed. You want to know why? You want to know what made
me finally realize how pointless, tiresome and stupid, hating Harry for being
born, Ron and Ginny for being loved as children by their family, or Hermione
for being muggleborn and still more skilled and
smarter than all of us in this room? Brace yourself, you gnomebrain,
because it was you, Blaise.�

When his head whipped around to stare at her she nodded, �Yeah, over the summer
I started thinking about how hating them for circumstances they had nothing to
do with was pretty much the same as, say, hating a boy for having skin darker
than a European pureblood is supposed to have. I kept wondering what life would
have been like for you, if people had never given you a chance to show who you
were simply because of your skin color. I finally realized that just as you had
no control over how you looked, they had no control over how or to whom they
were born. And, because of my friendship
with you, I decided this year I was going to give everyone who gave one me one,
a chance. Because of you, how I thought you would have felt to be treated like
we�ve treated Hermione, I changed. I thought you, of all people, would have
thought of that.�

With that she turned to Hermione and Ginny, �I�m sorry our evening had to end
like this, but I�m going to go now. I don�t think I can stand the air in here
much longer. Thank you, Ginny, for everything you did for me tonight. I hope we
can�well, you know what I mean. And, you too, Hermione.
I am glad I finally got a chance to get to know you and you me. I like you
guys. Um, Hermione, would�would you maybe like to walk with me at least part of
the way back?�

Ginny let go of the Hermione�s hand and stepped forward to hug Pansy lightly,
�Let it go. Don�t make their problems yours or ours. We�ll talk tomorrow
morning at breakfast. Okay?�

Pansy nodded and smiled gratefully as she stepped back. Hermione tried to smile
at her, but it looked more like a grimace. Pansy moved over to Hermione and
simply offered her hand in silence. Hermione looked down at her hand and then
up into her eyes. Without a word she grasped Pansy�s hand tightly and nodded.

Ginny whispered goodnight to both of them, Hermione nodded again. Pansy gave a
small wave and they left quietly through the portrait hole.

Ginny turned to the three men, but couldn�t think of anything to say as she
looked from face to face. Greg wouldn�t meet her eyes and looked as if he
wanted to cry. Draco stared back at her, his face, for once, not impassive. She
saw sadness, confusion, and plain exhaustion.

Draco looked away and said quietly to Greg, �We should go, too.�

Greg nodded and started to walk toward the portrait hole. Then he stopped and
turned back to Ginny. �I know it may not mean much right now, but I like you,
too. Good night.�

Ginny nodded at him, but before she could answer, Draco added, �Good night,
Blaise. Think about what Pansy said. And, Weasel�ly, give it rest for the night. I think we all have enough to
deal with, don�t you? Come on, Greg.�

Blaise expelled a frustrated breath and turned away from them, but Ginny
continued to look at Draco in wonder. He wasn�t acting like the person she�d
known for all her years at school. He didn�t even seem the same as he had at
the end of the war. She didn�t know what to make of him, and she wasn�t sure
she actually cared to get to know this new person. But, she knew she could no
longer hate someone whose eyes held such sadness, defeat and loss. They
reminded her too much of Hermione�s.

xxxxx

��You think
Hermione�s really okay?� Ron asked softly as he and Harry sat next to each
other on the sofa in the Gryffindor common room.

Harry sighed and looked at his watch, �How long has she been gone?�

�About two hours. I mean she seemed okay with everything when she left, but��

�Maybe she just needed to talk to Ginny about everything. You know how girls
are,� Harry laughed a little, his heart not really in it.

For the past hour he had tried to figure out how he felt about his friends�
breakup. Part of him knew it was for the best, as they weren�t the best couple,
but it still felt like a huge loss that they wouldn�t be a foursome anymore.
Would seeing Ginny and him together make Ron and
Hermione feel awkward? Would his best friends still be each other�s best
friends? Was he going to have to pick a side at some point?

There were so many questions swirling in his head that he didn�t hear the
portrait open. But, he did hear it slam shut and the Fat Lady yell, �No need to
be so rude!�

Both he and Ron shot off the sofa at Hermione�s abrupt appearance and hurried
to stop her ascent up the stairs. Harry reached out and grabbed her arm to stop
her, but both men stopped when she turned to them with tears streaming down her
face.

Ron was the first to react by pulling her into his arms and apologizing, �Oh
God, Mione. I�m so sorry. I didn�t know you would take it this hard. I thought
we agreed��

�Oh, would you stop!� Hermione growled as she pushed him away and wiped her
face. �I�m not crying over you or us, Ron.�

�Then why are�� Harry asked softly.

Hermione flung her arms up in exasperation, �When will it end?!�

�What end?� Ron asked, even as he stepped back a bit from her sudden anger.

Both boys watched as she paced away from them, angrily wiping at her tears,
even as she growled her answer. �This. Everything! I have done everything,
given all that I have, all that I am. For the last seven years I have fought
tooth and nail. I studied. I worked. I worked damn hard! And, for what?! For WHAT?!�

Ron shrugged, but tried to answer, �For our freedom?�

�For our lives,� Harry answered.

Hermione seemed to calm a bit at their words, but then she sat heavily on the
sofa and started crying again. Ron eased down beside her and put his arm around
her shaking shoulders at a loss as to what to say, since he didn�t know what
was happening.

Harry wasn�t any surer than Ron, but he had an idea. �You ran into Slytherins,
huh?�

Hermione nodded miserably and he continued as he looked at Ron to try to get
him to understand, �And, they made you feel like dirt, again?�

She hiccupped and nodded, as she wiped her tears and took a shuddering breath,
�I just don�t understand. After all we�ve been through, all that could have
happened, all the people who died fighting for what�s right, how can people
still�still hate like that?�

�Who said what to you?� Ron asked. With understanding came anger that Hermione
had once again suffered for simply being who she was.

When she didn�t answer immediately, Harry drew his own conclusion, �Zabini or
Malfoy?�

Hermione, no matter how disappointed in her life, didn�t want to be the cause
of more friction, especially not on their first night back. Besides, in her
estimation, Harry didn�t need another battle to fight.

�It�s not just them. It�s everything. I don�t know what I thought would happen,
but I guess I had hoped that all we went through meant something. I thought
things would change, at least somewhat, you know?�

Ron nodded, but said, �You can�t expect people to just let go of everything
they�ve believed in all their lives in only a few months, Mione.�

�Pansy did,� she sighed.

�Parkinson?� Harry asked. �How do you know that?�

�I ran into her and Ginny on their way back from a walk.�

Harry glanced at Ron, and saw his face twist in
confusion, �What was she doing with Parkinson?�

�Talking, Ron,� Hermione sighed. �She�s�she�s changed, I think. Or, maybe she
was always like this, but I just never noticed. I don�t know anything anymore.�

Harry persisted, �So, was it something she said that got you all upset?�

�No,� Hermione smiled in memory, �she was actually very nice. Would you believe
she was almost apologetic about being from a completely magical family? And,
she was almost as upset as I was about it.�

Ron tried once more, �About what? What crap did Malfoy spout this time? Did he
call you that name again?�

Hermione smiled a bit at his protectiveness and persistence in hating Draco,
�Believe it or not, it wasn�t him, Ron.�

�So, Zabini?� Harry nodded.

Hermione sighed again and pulled her legs up under her as she twisted her hands,
�Yeah. Seems he still believes the wrong side won. And, that people like me
should be�anyway, he still has the same hatred he had before and he made it
very clear what he thought of all of us. It just made me realize that after
everything, nothing�s really changed.�

�I�m sorry, Hermione,� Harry sighed as he sat on the floor at her feet and took
her hands in his. �Not everyone is going to change instantly just because one
dark wizard died. It takes time.�

�I know,� she sighed. �I just wish it didn�t hurt so much still.�

Ron hugged her close again and kissed the top of her head, �We did our best. We
just have to wait and hope now, Mione. Prejudice and ignorance doesn�t just go
away.�

�I know,� she sighed once again. �I�m sorry, you guys. I�m just tired, I guess.
I usually don�t let it get to me like this.�

�It�s okay,� Harry said. �You�ve been through a lot tonight. All
the changes around here, the break�um.�

Hermione smiled down at him and then reached out to take their hands in her
hers, �It�s okay to say it, Harry. The break up. Ron
and I are fine with it, aren�t we?�

Ron nodded and tightened his hold on her hand, �We�re fine.�

�But,� Hermione continued as she looked down at Harry, �are you okay with it?�

Harry laughed a little, �I�m fine, if you are. Are you really?�

When both nodded, he asked, �What did Gin say?�

Hermione smiled to herself, as she remembered their final conversation, but
answered, �She�s fine, too. Once I convinced her that we were okay with it.
And, she sends you her love. To both of you.�

Harry smiled softly and asked, �Do you think she�s okay there alone with
Zabini?�

�Ginny can take care of herself, Harry,� she smiled and patted his hand. �I
would actually fear more for Zabini, if I cared if he lived or died tonight.�

Both boys laughed with her. Then she got up and pulled Ron up off the sofa,
�Come on boys. Breakfast will be here before we know it. It�s been a long day,
and I need some sleep.�

They started up the stairs and Harry patted her on her back, �Yeah, me too. I wish
we had cell phones here.�

�Why?� Ron asked.

Harry shrugged, a bit embarrassed, �I just want to check on her. I�I miss her,
I guess. It�s strange being so far away from her now.�

Ron rolled his eyes and stopped at the landing that separated the boys and
girls sides of the flats, �Man, Harry. You two have been apart for what? Three
hours? You�d think you were married or something.�

Hermione shook her head at the two of them and smiled at the normalcy of the
conversation after her past few hours. �I love you guys.�

Harry turned to hug her, �And, we love you, Hermione.�

When he let go Ron stepped forward, �Yeah, we do,� and then leaned down to kiss
her out of habit.

Hermione turned her head so that his kiss ended up on her cheek and then gave
him a quick peck on his cheek.

He turned pink and stuffed his hands in his pockets, �Sorry. I didn�t mean��

Hermione shook her head and smiled at him with all the tenderness in her heart
as she pulled him in for a hug, �No worries, Ron. Takes some getting used to,
right?�

He nodded gratefully, �Right. Good night.�

Harry turned away with a small smile, �Night, Hermione.�

�Night guys,� she waved and turned to head back to her rooms.

xxxxx

Author�s Notes � Thank you once
again for every reading, review, and alert set. You all make my day!

Kazfeist � Thank you, hon. But, check my name. lol I may give
them troubles, but there is no one for Harry, but Ginny, imo.
;-)

Stella� - I hope the eventual paring of Pansy and
Ron meets your expectations. Thanks, hon!
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Struggling Through New Beginnings