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Providence	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 15841 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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Chapter Ten�What Draco
Malfoy Fought

�� What is going on, Harry?�

�� Harry took
in Rodrigo�s folded arms and aggressive stance with a sigh. He would have to
explain Draco�s presence now, and he doubted there was anything that would
adequately do it.

�� He ran a
hand through his hair and said, �I�m sorry, Rodrigo. I left Britain because I
was convinced that I�d made an utterly stupid mistake and could never be with
the man I wanted to be with. I was trying to find someone else I could like.
And I do like you,� he added quickly. Looked at objectively, he thought,
Rodrigo was still a better match for him than Draco. He didn�t know how he and
Draco were going to fit together.
They might have smashing sex, but Draco would probably laugh when he discovered
how long Harry had spent watching him from afar. �I didn�t know he�d show up
here. I didn�t tell him where I was going. I didn�t want to have anything more
to do with him.�

�� Rodrigo
arched an eyebrow and flicked a glance at the door of the room, which Harry had
closed behind him. �I�m not stupid,� he said. �I know what you did in there.�

�� Harry
winced and nodded. �But I didn�t anticipate that,� he said. �I still don�t
think we�ll really be together. He wasn�t my boyfriend when I came here, and I
didn�t try to cheat on him with you.� He hesitated, then
shrugged. �That�s really all I wanted to say.�

�� Rodrigo
clenched his jaw for a moment, as if trying to decide whether he believed
Harry. Then he reached out and squeezed his hand, so tightly it could have been
a blessing or shown anger. �Good luck,� he said. �I do not know whether to hope
you will succeed or fail.�

�� Harry
relaxed and shook Rodrigo�s hand eagerly. �At least we�re in the same
situation, then,� he said. �I don�t know, either.�

*

�� Potter came
back into the room subdued, his eyes dark and thoughtful in a way that Draco
didn�t like. When Potter tried to think, he tied his brain up in a labyrinthine
maze of contradictions and knotted innocent people�like Draco�in with him. It
would be best to act before he had time to reconsider.

�� Of course
you�ll come back to Britain with me tonight,� he said.

�� Potter
jerked his head up as if Draco had startled him from deep contemplation, which
told Draco that he had interrupted those thoughts just in time. Then he
scowled. �Of course I won�t,� he said. �I have to finish my business at the
Spanish Ministry first, and even if Rodrigo can�t be my guide, running away in
the middle of the job would be extremely unprofessional.�

�� Hmmm.� Draco let his eyelids fall. �Yet you wrote love
letters to me whilst you worked. I hadn�t thought a touch of the unprofessional
would bother you.�

�� Potter
snorted. �My job as an Auror has nothing to do with this,� he said. �Except
that it�ll probably exacerbate your arrogance and make it impossible for us to
be together after all.�

�� I admit I
would prefer a lover who worked in a field less�inimical to the history of my
family,� Draco said delicately. �But if you wish for me to let you go, you will
need to find a more compelling reason.�

�� You�ll
see,� said Potter, with an infuriating amount of gloomy satisfaction. �If it�s
not my job, it�ll be something else. Something
will make sure that we can�t be together. You�ll see.� He nodded to himself
and brushed past Draco towards the bed.

�� Draco
seized Potter�s arm and made him turn about. �Evidently you don�t realize what
a rare event this is,� he whispered. Standing close to Potter, he could smell
his sweat and see the lines of tension and scorn around his eyes. He considered
a kiss, but decided it would work against his best interests at the moment. �I don�t come after lovers. I don�t give them chances when they�ve
tried to run away from me. But I did for you.�

�� Potter
wrenched away, and such was his strength from Auror training that Draco
actually let him go in surprise. Potter took a stiff step back and then stood
there with anger radiating like heat off his body. Draco gave a slight gasp as
he stared into his eyes. Had Potter�s eyes ever looked like that when they were
still students at Hogwarts and he was angry? Surely not, or Draco might have
suspected that the passion he needed existed right in front of him.

�� As
arrogant as ever, I see,� Potter said, his voice
disagreeably cool. Draco would have preferred his voice riled and sparking to
match his eyes. �Has it occurred to you that I�d done my best to distance
myself? I didn�t ask for you to make
an extra special exception to your normal rule of treating other people like
the shit that you scrape off your boots.�

�� You as
much as said that I�d have to mend my manners to have a chance with you,� Draco
said, his irritation overwhelming his admiration. �And now my attempts to do it
can�t win so much as an acknowledgment from you?�

�� Potter
sneered. It looked ugly and wrong on him, and Draco opened his mouth to tell
him so, but Potter beat him to the mark. �The motive matters as much as the
actions�not that your actions are so clever or far-reaching at the moment,
given all the insults you�ve hurled since you saw me face-to-face.�

�� You were insulting
me as well,� Draco said, and rage crept into the back of his voice.

�� Potter gave
him a look of devastating pity. Draco had to fight not to lash out. �Oh,
please, Draco. You sound like you�re at Hogwarts and
trying to convince McGonagall that I should have detention instead of you.�

�� Draco tried
to count to ten in French, but Potter had flowed on, evidently mistaking his
silence as acquiescence. �And you still haven�t internalized the first part of
your new lessons. The motive matters as much as the actions. If you�re only changing
your behavior to coddle me, then it can�t last, not the way it would if you had
actually decided that other people were worthy of your respect and attention. And
I don�t like being coddled.�

�� Oh, bollocks,� Draco snapped, a thousand
circumstances from the Battle of Hogwarts on filtering into his mind. �You�re
telling me that you don�t appreciate the opportunities you�re offered? The way
that the Ministry smoothes your path every time you have to spend a day
speaking to the public on the anniversary of the Dark Lord�s defeat? The fact
that��

�� I�ve never
been the attention-seeker that you thought me,� Potter said, leaning into Draco�s
personal space and curling his lip as if he were about to spit. Draco might
have moved away in fear for the sanctity of his robes, but he knew Potter would
interpret the movement as a sign of weakness. He would have to put up with a
Cleaning Charm if Potter chose to bestow his saliva on Draco. �As it happens,
the protections that I do accept are necessary so fame-hungry assassins can�t kill me. There�s this thing called death
that Aurors face on a daily basis, though I understand how you may have
forgotten that, living in the middle of a Manor that doesn�t show you one plain
natural fact��

�� You
fucker,� Draco hissed, and shot his hand out, gripping Potter�s arm and
clamping down. Potter gave him another look of pity, and Draco dug his fingers
into Potter�s bicep. At least that produced a minute flinch. �Have you forgotten
what they did to my mother? I live with the presence of death and the war every
day, even if I don�t have a scar on my forehead to prove it.�

*

�� Harry badly
wished that he could be sure a Time-Turner still existed
somewhere in Britain, so he could go back and erase the last few minutes.

�� No matter what happens, I say the wrong
thing around him, he thought, and dashed his free hand across his forehead
and the scar Draco had just damned. I
keep thinking that his experience wasn�t so much different than my own and
acting like he�ll understand me and argue for a while and then make up like Ron
would. But he won�t, and I�m an idiot for trying this.

�� I�m sorry,�
he said, lowly, his eyes fastened on the floor because he would fuck matters up
even worse if he looked at Draco right now. �I did forget. But I shouldn�t.
Your mother helped save me in the Forbidden Forest, and she was part of the
reason I fell in love with you in the first place, because I saw how well you
loved and defended her.� He summoned as much courage as he�d needed to fight in
the Battle of Hogwarts, or at least it felt that way, and looked up into Draco�s
eyes.

�� Draco was
regarding him with the distant, imperturbable expression that Harry hadn�t learned
to read, except to know that he offered it to too many of his dates. Harry
shook his head in frustration.

�� Can�t you
see that this won�t work?� he demanded. �We�re together for half an hour and we
duel, hump each other, and then try to bludgeon each other to death with words.
There�s nothing that can come out of that. It�s a dead end, and you and I have
both had enough of those.�

�� Draco
continued to watch him in silence. Harry fretted and clenched his arm in Draco�s
grip as the silence stretched to snapping point. Why doesn�t he say something? Any explanation, any accusation, is
better than this.

�� Finally,
Draco said, �Do you honestly think it would be any better if we separated?�

�� Harry blinked
for a while. Is he stupid or what? But
Draco went on staring at him, waiting for an answer, and that showed remarkable
patience, for him. Harry at last tried cautiously, �Well, yes. You would have
some space to recover from the wounds I�ve dealt you. I would have room to think
myself out of my feelings.�

�� I don�t
think it would work,� Draco said, and his grip on Harry�s arm changed subtly,
drawing him near without demanding his presence. �I think that I would still be
tempted to come after you, because of the excitement factor. And you said you�re
in love with me. One doesn�t generally walk away from love.� He paused. �And
there�s the fact that I brought my mother home from St. Mungo�s almost two
years ago. Can you honestly think you�ll forget that emotion in another two?�

�� Harry
exhaled a frustrated breath and closed his eyes. �The excitement factor isn�t
enough,� he said. �You need other things. Children. Someone who knows and understands the pure-blood traditions.
I know how important your family is to you. You�ll have to marry to expand it
sooner or later.�

*

�� Draco
waited for long moments before he could reply. If he tried now, then he would
only curse Potter for his stupidity, which perhaps the idiot was trying to get
him to do.

�� But Draco
wouldn�t play that game. He enjoyed the insults on one level; that level wouldn�t
get him what he wanted. Potter had taunted and coaxed and lured him with those
letters. Draco could see that he would have to do the same thing in turn, at
least for a little while.

�� I don�t
have to get married now,� he
murmured, turning his head so that his breath brushed against Potter�s ear. Ah. A shiver. He�s not
immune to me. �We don�t know that this would be permanent. We might try it
and see. And you underestimate how important the excitement factor is for me.
It�s something I�ve never had before. I want to try it now before I dismiss it
as a mere childish temptation.�

�� Potter
hesitated.

�� It was a
hesitation that Draco had seen too often to mistake. He smiled thinly, glad that Potter was looking away from him at the moment
and couldn�t see an expression he might have interpreted as reason for
discouragement. Good. He does want to be
me with me. It�s his own scruples holding him back,
and nothing else.

�� Think about
it,� he continued, keeping his voice soft but neutral. Unlike most of the women
he�d dated, who were willing partners in their own seductions, Potter would
balk if he saw the path leading to bed too clearly. �Why not date me? That way we�ll learn more quickly whether we�re suited for each
other or not. If we go our separate ways, you�ll always pine and I�ll
always wonder.� He had thought of saying that he would pine, too, but refrained
at the last moment. Potter didn�t believe that Draco�s feelings were as strong
for him as his were for Draco�quite reasonably�and speaking too much in
hyperbole could break the spell.

�� Why not?�
he said again, when Potter stood there in silence, and
nudged his hip against Potter�s. Potter clamped his legs together promptly,
which made Draco smile, and smolder at the same time with the desire to get
between those legs again. �A temporary arrangement can�t do any harm.�

�� I told you
that I didn�t want to simply be tolerated,� Potter said tightly, and turned his
head. The look in his eyes matched the tension that vibrated in the lines of
his throat. It would have helped if Draco hadn�t immediately thought about how
that throat tasted.

�� But he had
pushed on before through more potent distractions, and he did now. �Temporary
for the moment,� he said. �It might grow and become something more permanent
and lasting.� He forced himself into a light shrug, and so lied with his body
as well as his next words. �I don�t think it will, with your desire to get away
from me at all costs, but it could work.�

�� Potter
relaxed and tilted his head. It was obvious when his brain was running, Draco
thought; the green eyes clouded and the lines around his mouth sharpened, as if
he were determined to make himself look old before his time. Perhaps he could
do with tutoring in hiding his emotions, and not only because of Draco�s
pure-blood social circle, who would look on his
openness as gauche. It would help confuse the criminals, too, who could probably
read every plan from his face as matters stood.

�� It could
work,� Potter echoed at last, and looked up at Draco with hard eyes. �But I
need to tell you the story of how I came up with the letters and enlisted
Astoria first.�

�� Of course,�
Draco said politely, and easily stepped away now, knowing that he�d won and
that Potter wanted to move into a more comfortable position. �I am eager to
hear it.�

*

�� Harry
explained the story as briefly as he could, because it made him sound stupid
and he didn�t like doing that in front of Draco.

�� Not even
though his stupidity might have convinced Draco to retire for his own peace of
mind.

�� Harry
berated himself for it, but he needed to stay close to Draco for a short time
if there was some hope. He�d spent too long at a distance and trying to
convince himself the distance would never contract.
Now it had, and Harry was living in a mental and physical world that didn�t
make sense.

�� If I stay close to him, then perhaps I can
learn to dislike his arrogance more than I love the rest of him and get away, Harry
thought hopefully.

�� Draco listened
to the letter story without comment, though his face spoke�at least to someone
who knew him as well as Harry did�with its flickers of eyelids and its bending
of brows. At last he said, �And you were happy to see Astoria marry me?�

�� Content,�
Harry corrected. �I knew it would be the best thing for you.�

�� Draco�s
nostrils flared. �You�ve done an awful lot of thinking that things are good for
me without considering what my take
on the situation would be,� he said.

�� But
Astoria does have stronger feelings for you than most of the women you dated,
who only wanted to sleep with you,� Harry said. Draco could think Harry was
stupid�it would happen anyway, and perhaps it was the best thing in the long
run�but Harry wouldn�t hear him defame Astoria. �She was part of your circle
already. And she was female. She would have been perfect if you�d fallen in
love with her.�

�� You�re the
reason I didn�t.� Draco�s eyes locked with his. �You wrote letters that portrayed
someone she couldn�t be.�

�� Harry
shrugged irritably, and wished he could look away. �So that�s why I did it,� he
said. �I wanted you to be happy.�

�� And you
would have been�happy, if I had dated Astoria?� Draco laughed in a delicate,
sarcastic manner that made Harry�s spine prickle. �Forgive me for not believing
that.�

�� Not happy,�
Harry said. �Content.�

�� I understand
the distinction,� Draco said, �but not why you choose to make it for yourself.�

�� Because
your happiness matters more to me than mine, of course,� Harry said, frowning
and wondering how Draco could have missed that. He was sure he�d put it in his
story. �Why do you think I left England? I wanted to stay away from you and
stop communicating with you because I didn�t think I�d make you happy if I didn�t.�

*

�� Draco sat
in silence, staring at Potter. He knew that he should come up with a witty
reply; he had a reputation to protect.

�� But he
couldn�t, because he had never encountered any statement that summed up someone�s
nature quite so well.

�� He knew
that most of the people he associated with would not have said the same thing.
They were too accustomed to negotiations, to games. One gave away information
in return for information, and Draco had made no similarly revealing
confession. Potter tossed the currency of his soul into the air as if he did
not care where it fell.

�� Someone should.

�� And the
strong hunger in his belly told Draco that he wanted to be that person.

�� Someone
else might come along and claim Harry. Or Harry might drive himself into
someone else�s arms, the way he had chosen this Spanish Auror in an effort to
forget Draco.

�� He was
clever but with amusing blind spots. He was brave enough to face Draco in a
duel instead of running away�even if he had tried to Obliviate Draco at first�and then admit the embarrassing story of
the letters. He could bare his spirit without noticing he had done so, but
still Draco didn�t think it was something he did on a regular basis, or the
interviews in the Prophet would have
been a mite more honest and a good deal more arresting. He simply couldn�t help
doing it in front of someone whom he loved.

�� And Draco
couldn�t wait to find out what it was like to fuck him.

�� Yes,
altogether Harry Potter was quite a bargain.

�� Draco
stood. Harry watched him come with an arched brow. He didn�t quite manage to
hide the nervousness behind the gesture, but Draco knew it would have fooled
many a less discerning audience. He laid a hand on Harry�s shoulder. It tensed
beneath his fingers, but still Harry didn�t back away. Draco was beginning to
fathom why that would be anathema to someone like him.

�� He bent his
head and touched his lips to Harry�s with far more gentleness than he�d shown
so far. He wanted to persuade more than he wanted to seduce.

�� Harry made
to pull away at first, but Draco delicately chased him, flicking his tongue
once against Harry�s lips before returning to a normal kiss. In the end, even
if Harry didn�t have much choice about Draco�s trying to make this a permanent
arrangement, it was best to leave him the illusion
of choice.

*

�� Harry didn�t
understand Draco close at hand the way he thought he did when watching from a
distance. Draco seemed to have more mood shifts than a hurricane and as few reasons
for the change.

�� But he
believed he understood the emotion behind this kiss. Draco seemed strongly
affected by his words. He couldn�t say that,
of course, and perhaps he didn�t want Harry to know it at all. He could use
actions to show it, though.

�� Harry
stopped flinching away when he thought that. He returned the kiss with
interest, opening his mouth to admit Draco�s tongue.

�� Even when
invited, Draco took his time, probing slowly inwards instead of trying to
conquer Harry�s mouth as he had earlier. By the time Harry had felt dozens of soft
touches to the insides of his cheeks and the roof of his mouth and the back of
his teeth, he was wandering in a mental fog, half-ready to lie back and let
Draco have his way with him.

�� As always,
it was his love for Draco that saved him. Draco perhaps believed they could
coexist; Harry was not so certain.

�� He braced a
hand on Draco�s chest and pushed him backwards. Draco went, but his pupils had
become great blown dark blots of color and he rested both hands on Harry�s
shoulders as though he would fall if he let go. His gaze never stopped roaming
Harry�s face, collecting emotions from it.

�� I do have
to finish up my job in Spain before we go back to Britain,� Harry said. His voice
sounded hoarser than normal, and he shook his head. Draco might not be good for my mental health.

�� His body pulsed an enthusiastic suggestion about what Draco would be good for. Harry held his
attention on what he needed to say with difficulty, waiting for some
acknowledgment of his words.

�� Draco
blinked languidly, which seemed to be the extent of his response. Harry drew a
deep breath�unfortunately filled with Draco�s scent�and forged on. �But then I�ll
come back to Britain with you, and we will
talk. I want this, even if it�s wrong. Even if it�s temporary.
I at least want to try.�

�� Draco caught
his breath, and blinked again, and then gave Harry a smile of such brilliance
that Harry stepped backwards. Draco�s hands firmed on his shoulders at once,
and he gave a small sigh.

�� That�s all
I ask,� he said. �A chance. I want you. Give me a
chance to love you.�

�� Even
suspecting that Draco had said that mostly to charm him, Harry simply didn�t have
the strength of will�or the bitterness�that would have been necessary to
resist. He laid his head on Draco�s shoulder and closed his eyes.

�� And Draco
didn�t mock him, but touched his neck and cheek and hair slowly and
wonderingly, like a man under the Leper�s Curse who had regained his sense of
touch.

*

�� A pure,
sweet, strong sense of life was driving through Draco, as if a tree were
striving to achieve a hundred years� worth of growth through him all at once.

�� Yes. This is what I want.

�� It is wonderful to know at last.

*

�� Yami Bakura: Thank you! At least
Harry apologizes to Rodrigo in this chapter.

�� MewMew2:
Thank you for reviewing.

�� Christabell: Thank you! Even more hot
things coming up.

�� YanaYugi: Draco will be very possessive. Especially because
the breakthrough in this chapter is that he realizes how much Harry cares for
him (via Harry�s declaration of placing Draco�s happiness first) and there�s no
way he�ll let Harry go devote that to someone else.

�� yaoiObsessed: Harry tells himself
that he�s not considering Draco�s offer, but he pretty certainly is.

�� butterpie: Thanks!

�� DeeLoli: Thanks! I think you can look forwards to more
fighting and foreplay.

�� Thrnbrooke: Here you are!

�� SP777: I
am, in fact, gearing up to write a pretty immense novel-length story that will
be called Intoxicate the Sun, and
which will involve Harry leading a revolution.

�� I�m glad
you liked the older stories. And I hadn�t considered that I might have reached
the necessary level of description in A
Year�s Temptation. Description of that kind I could do.

�� That
comment about me seeing myself as Draco is deeply scary, considering that I
write Harry a lot more easily.

�� Word_Slave: There is definitely more sex coming up! Though not for a while.
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Providence