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Wands and Wheezes	By : auntlynnie Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 40170 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: Anti-Litigation Charm: Sadly, I don't own any part of the Harry Potter franchise. Nor do I own any canon characters, locations, or situations. I make no money from the writing of this story.

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"A test flight?"

"Seriously?"

"Where?"

Hermione laughed at the barrage of enthusiastic questions from the twins. Their eyes were alight with glee. It was as if Christmas had come early. Boys and brooms. Predictable.

Hermione's brow furrowed. "Do you think we could fly by the orchard near the Burrow? I don't want anyone to tease me if it's not perfect and the charms need tweaking, and being watched will definitely make me even more nervous. So, would you mind Apparating directly to the orchard instead of Flooing to the Burrow?"

Fred threw a meaningful glance over to George. "That sounds like a great idea."

Standing, he continued. "Come on, then, woman! Grab your broom, and let's go back to our shop, we can pick up our brooms and walk to the Apparition point." Fred said, chivvying her to the door.

"All right, Fred, I'm coming! No need to push!" Hermione said with a tense laugh.

~*°*~

When they had left her shop, Hermione's nerves were positively humming with anxiety. Waiting for the boys to fetch their brooms did absolutely nothing to calm her. Upon arriving at the orchard, she had almost decided to cancel. Fred took one look at her and grabbed her hand.

"You are not doing a bunk, Ms. Granger. You will test your bloody brilliant broom."

Hermione pursed her lips in annoyance. "Who said I was going to leave?"

George answered, "No one, but you don't deny thinking it-"

"And you didn't deny that your broom is bloody brilliant, so there's no reason to delay in testing it." Fred finished, with a smirk.

Hermione tried to think of an escape plan, but none came to mind. "I always was pants at strategising..." she mumbled to herself. She shook her head and took a deep breath in an attempt at banishing her nerves. After exhaling, she addressed the two wizards, saying seriously, "Fine. I want one of you on my left and the other on my right at all times. And if I fall, you have to save me."

"Of course, love."

Hermione took one more deep calming breath and found that it did absolutely nothing to alleviate her anxiety.

"Are you all right?"

Hermione looked to George, giving him a wan smile. "I think so. Just nervous."

George turned to face her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Don't worry. We will start with some very basic manoeuvres, less than five feet off the ground. The absolute worst that can happen is a bump. You've flown on a Hippogriff, a Thestral and a dragon. You can do this."

Hermione didn't answer him. She pushed the image of that pathetic school broom rolling around on the ground out of her mind and placed her hand, palm down, over her broom and said "UP" in a commanding voice.

Unlike her attempts during her fateful first flying lesson, the broom zoomed into her hand so quickly it stung. Surprised, she jumped, muttering a quick "Ow!" Once she got over the initial surprise, she felt the broom fairly thrumming in her hand.

"Oh! It's... humming."

"Well, Hermione, looks like your broom knows its maker."

"Yeah, that was impressive, really, love." George smiled at her with pride beaming in his eyes. "Now, throw a leg over and take a seat."

Hermione took a deep breath and sat .

"Oh, my... it actually feels like I'm sitting on a cushion." After a moment, she realized that the broom was still humming, ever so slightly. And now I know why Ginny likes to fly so much, she thought with a smirk.

They kicked off and did a slow lap around the perimeter of the small orchard.

"All right there, Hermione?"

She looked up at them, face shining. "I... I think I am! What's next?"

George looked at his brother. "We've created a monster."

"Well, it is a new magical skill. What did you expect?"

Hermione huffed in impatience. "Come on!"

Fred rolled his eyes at her. "If you're so keen, then let's try some figure eights. Just around these two trees," he said, pointing at the two trees in question.

"Let's go!" she said boldly, yet flying at a cautious pace, belying her deep-seated guarded attitude towards brooms in general.

They continued to put her new broom through its paces. After a few hours, she was comfortable enough to fly unescorted over the tops of the trees.

At long last, she was hungry and needed use of a toilet. She turned to her escorts, "Come on, you two. I need to use the loo, and I'm hoping your mum has tea on."

The three landed, and Hermione flew at the twins in an exuberant embrace. "Thank you so much! I may never have actually tried to fly my broom, but you didn't let me give up." She pulled away slightly to give each a kiss on the cheek. As they moved apart to start their walk over to the Burrow, they saw Pig flying toward them.

"Curious."

"That's Pig. Wonder who's owling us from the Burrow."

"Why would anyone owl you directly, instead of just sending it to the shop? No one knows we're here."

When the bird neared, they noticed his cargo: a bright red envelope. When it got close enough to perch on Hermione's arm, they could see that it had Fred and George's names on the front in Molly's handwriting.

George reacted first, "Bugger!"

"Bloody Hell!"

Hermione looked at them, "Why on earth would your Mum be sending you a Howler today?"

"No idea." George answered automatically.

"Yeah, she's obviously upset enough to send a Howler, but there's no reason to be-"

By this time, Hermione had removed the letter from Pig's leg. The little owl flew back to the Burrow ahead of them, obviously not waiting for a reply.

The letter began to rattle, and Hermione thrust it into George's hand. "You take it! It's not for me!"

George groaned, and broke the seal. Once opened, Molly's voice reverberated among the trees. "Fred and George Weasley! You two think you're so very funny, don't you? Well, you're not! You need to come to the Burrow immediately and set your brother's hair to rights! He has team portraits tomorrow for the upcoming season, and he cannot go with rainbow-striped hair! Get over here -now!"

The three of them looked at each other. Hermione's eyes were open wide.

"Did you do... do you know what she's talking about? Did you make Ron's hair... a rainbow?"

Fred and George shared a furtive glance; her tone of voice could be interpreted one of two ways: either it was barely restrained laughter or it was tight with anger.

George hoped they'd cultivated her inner prankster enough for her to appreciate the gag. "Yeah," he said, with a small grin, "it's a new potion we created."

Hermione spluttered. "You tested it on him without his knowledge?"

Fred hastened to add, "But we've tested it on ourselves already, we know it works, and we know it's safe, and we have an antidote. We just wanted to make sure it had no flavour, like we thought it did. The only way to do that would be to give it to someone who wasn't expecting it. If we'd gotten it right, he would drink it and not know it. Now we know it works, and we have the added benefit of sending Ronniekins ‘round the twist!" He finished his explanation with a huge grin of satisfaction.

Hermione was biting her lip through his rationalization and when he finished, she burst into laughter, arms wrapped around her, holding her sides. The twins looked at each other, smiling.

"That's brilliant! I love it!" she said, gasping between fits of giggles, Fred and George preening a bit at her appreciation. After a few moments, she caught her breath and her better judgment prevailed, bringing with it a renewed sobriety. "But... we really do have to give him the antidote. Do you have it with you?"

George's shoulders sagged almost imperceptibly. "Yeah. Let's go." Then he realized she'd said ‘we', and he brightened up considerably at the thought that she considered herself with them instead of against them.

"Mum's gone mental. It won't be pleasant."

Hermione looked at Fred, torn between laughter and disbelief. "What did you expect? You turned his hair into a rainbow. He's not a clown!"

"Well -"

Hermione laughed, "Stop it! Come on, delaying will only make it worse."

The two men sighed. "Come on, Gred. Let's take our lumps."

"Too right, Forge."

The three Apparated the short distance to the Burrow, where Molly met them in the garden. She was gesticulating emphatically, her arms flying about like a whirligig; questioning them so quickly that they weren't able to get a word in edgewise. "You two! Did you change your brother's hair? Oh, of course you did! Who else would -"

Fred snickered, and Molly wheeled on him. "This isn't funny, you know - he's got a press conference for the team tomorrow! He can't go with rainbow hair! I've been looking for you for hours! I just knew -"

Realizing she wasn't needed for this conversation, Hermione quietly slipped up the stairs to go to the loo, listening to Molly chastising her sons. Passing Ron's bedroom, she noticed the door was wide open, and he was sleeping on his bed. Peering in, she saw the result of the twins' handiwork. His hair was brilliantly coloured in a perfect rainbow, and she barely stifled a guffaw. She bolted to the loo, closing and locking the door as quickly and quietly as she could. Unable to control herself any longer, she burst into hysterical laughter, bending over and hugging herself, trying to catch her breath.

Hermione took her time in the loo, attempting to calm herself, and preparing herself to see Ron again. Hanging on to her composure like a drowning man to a lifeline, she knocked on the open door to his room, waking him.

When he awoke, he smiled at his friend. "Hey, how're you? What brought you to the Burrow today? Isn't it your day off?" His nonchalance showed that he'd probably forgotten the state of his hair.

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek and quickly considered her options. She could tell him the truth, which was really no option at all, or she could gloss over the reasons for her visit. She decided on a partial truth. "Oh, I dropped by with the twins. Your mum sent them a Howler about your hair."

Ron's face darkened with annoyance. "Bloody wankers. They love taking the piss out of me, but this was a bad time-"

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek harder to stifle her laughter. "Yeah. I heard... I see. They brought the antidote for you."

"They did? Well, let's-"

The twins chose that moment to amble into the room with the casual manner of the innocent. However, upon seeing Ron's hair, they burst into fits of uncontrolled laughter. Fred was even pointing at him. Hermione lost her struggle with self-control, small snickers slipping past the dam of her self-control.

"Oh, my God! It's perfect! It's even funnier on someone who isn't expecting it, innit, Gred?"

"Yes, indeed, Forge. He's quite... festive, isn't he?"

"He looks like a leprechaun's arse!" Fred cried, voice full of unrestrained glee.

With this last injury to his pride, Ron stalked across the room to the twins, hand outstretched in demand. "Where is it?"

After a few more chuckles and snickers, Fred handed him a corked phial. "Here you go, you big baby."

Ron narrowed his eyes at his brother, uncorked the phial, and poured it down his throat. When he was done, his grimace was of epic proportions. "Ugh - that tastes like Goblin piss!"

"You have much experience with Goblin piss, Ronnie?"

"Sod off, you wanker. Let me pass." He shouldered his way past his brothers and Hermione on his way to the loo to see if the antidote was working yet.

"Ever the gentleman." Hermione sighed, and George quietly took her hand, rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. Fred threw an arm around her shoulders in a show of solidarity, patting her shoulder gently.

After a moment, Fred stepped away to knock on the door to the loo. "All right there, Ron?"

He emerged from the bathroom, running his fingers through his re-gingered hair. "Yeah. Fine. No thanks to you two."

Fred and George rolled their eyes at his petulance, and walked downstairs to make their report to Molly.

Ron turned to Hermione, "Did you know they were going to do this?" he asked quietly.

"No, I didn't."

"You sure were laughing like you did."

"I'm really sorry about that. It's just a lot funnier than it should be. They didn't know you had a press thing today."

"Still probably wouldn't've stopped ‘em, though. When did you start thinking their pranks are funny?"

Hermione blushed. "I know I've always been hard on them. I never liked it when they tested products on the younger students. But, they've really been good friends to me. You, Harry, and Ginny have been away for work... and I understand that your travel is beyond your control, but it still leaves me behind, you know? And they've been my neighbours for years, now. They make sure that I'm not holing myself up alone too much." She smiled pensively. "They've really helped me to lighten up... to learn to enjoy life every day."

Ron considered her. "I don't exactly fancy the feeling of being replaced as best friend-"

"You haven't been! I-"

"It's ok, Hermione." He interrupted, gently. "We're not there. It's not like you should put your entire life on a shelf while we go off and work - and have scads of fun of our own."

Hermione smiled at her old friend. "You understand?"

He hugged her. "Of course I do. Doesn't mean I like it, or that it feels good to see how close the three of you have gotten, but... I understand."

She hugged him back firmly. "I'm so glad. I've always been worried that you'd be jealous. You have to know I could never replace you or Harry."

Ron chuckled softly. "I may not be the most perceptive bloke, but I think my emotional range may have expanded ever so slightly in the past ten years."

Hermione held on to her dear friend, her ear pressed to his chest, her head tucked under his chin. After a moment of wondering how he'd feel if he knew just how close she had gotten to the twins - George in particular - she pulled away. "Well, we've got to get back to London. It's been a long day, and I just want a shower and supper."

Ron looked down at her. "Hey - why's your hair all crazy?" He asked, reaching out to smooth a flyaway lock.

Hermione scowled, smoothing her unruly tresses. "That... is a very old joke, Ron. My hair hasn't been 'bushy' for years, once I found the right spells and a good magical hairdresser."

Ron blushed. "No... I mean... it looks... windswept. Like you'd been riding a broom. But that can't be... can it?" He asked, eyes wide in surprise.

It was Hermione's turn to blush. "What? Broom? Me?" She realized how weak her protest was, and changed tack. "When have you ever known me to willingly ride a broom?"

"Never, but-"

"Well, there you have it." She declared, turning about-face and going down the stairs, leaving a confused Ronald Weasley in her wake.

Upon her arrival in the lounge, she smiled at the twins. "Are you all done, then? Shall we?"

George stared at her, a bit bewildered at her terse tone. Fred was the only one to answer, "We shall."

The three said their goodbyes to Molly, who was still blustering at the twins for their prank. She stopped long enough to hug each of them and send them on their way. They went out to the far side of the shed where they'd hidden their brooms, and walked to the edge of the wards so they could Apparate back to Diagon Alley.

Upon their arrival, Hermione looked at each of the twins flanking her, and realized just how precious their friendship had become. Knowing that any expression of this realization would be met with a good deal of teasing, she held her tongue and smiled brightly at them. "I need a shower before we go to dinner - my treat."

The two gave equally wolfish grins, waggling their eyebrows.

Hermione laughed at George and marvelled at Fred. Unnerved, she grabbed George's hand and made her way to her shop. Fred followed until they passed his own shop. Pausing, he called out to their retreating forms, "I'll floo over when I'm ready, then?"

Hermione thought for a moment. "No, we'll floo over whenwe're ready," she said with a wolfish smile of her own.

She and George entered Ollivander's. Once inside, she warded her door. As soon as her task was complete, she grabbed George's hand and ran up the stairs. In the cosy lounge, he tugged on her hand, spinning her to him. He caught her in an embrace and kissed her deeply.

She'd quickly grown to love his kisses. They were sensual and arousing and made her feel treasured.

This kiss was quickly becoming heated, and after spending so much time on a humming broom, Hermione wasn't willing to go slowly. She fisted one hand at the back of his shirt and the other grabbed a handful of hair. George's breath hitched, but he pulled away to ask cheekily, "You want me, don't you, Hermione?"

Hermione huffed, drawing him closer again, "God, George. How does anyone ride a broom without going completely barmy?"

George was genuinely baffled. "What do you mean, love?"

"The... humming. The... thrumming! God! I'm going to go mad! I need you, George." She grabbed his hair and pulled him down for another kiss, eliciting a moan from her lover.

George didn't completely understand what she meant, as his broom had never thrummed, but he didn't require an explanation as to what she desired, and he had no intentions of leaving her wanting. He drew her body closer to his, cupping her arse tightly.

"Mmm. Bed. Now. I need to feel you."

He didn't need any more encouragement than that. He lifted at the backs of her thighs, and she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around him. He carried her to the bedroom and kicked the door closed. Laying her down on the bed, they shimmied to the centre without breaking their kiss. George settled between her legs, resting his weight on one arm while his other arm caressed her breast through her clothing. Hermione impatiently divested them both of their clothing magically. The weight of his erect cock fell onto her pussy, making her gasp.

"Please... I need you." She practically begged, wrapping her legs around him, trying to draw him into herself.

George positioned his cock at her wet entrance and thrust, impaling her in one swift move. The two lovers both revelled in the feeling. After holding for a moment, George began to pump his hips slowly, but Hermione dug her heels into his arse, her eyes holding his beseechingly. "Faster. Harder. Gah! Fuck me."

George happily complied. He leaned back, placing her legs over his arms to open her wider, thrusting deeper and changing the angle of his entrance, hitting her g-spot with each advance of his cock. Hermione wailed her appreciation, scrabbling at his arms in her excitement, her head thrashing back and forth on the pillow.

It didn't take long for her walls to begin to flutter around his prick. As she reached her climax, he sped up his thrusts, wanting to come together. Her vagina clamped down on him tightly in orgasm; he thrust thrice more and joined her, sending his seed deep into her body with a roar. He released her legs and collapsed on her, where she held him tightly until she felt his cock soften and slip from her body.

He rolled off of her, pulling her along with him so she was half lying on him, her chin on the back of the hand she'd rested on his chest. Looking into his eyes, she smiled.

"That was... wow."

"It really was, wasn't it?"

She smacked him lightly on the chest with her free hand, which he grabbed and brought to his lips. Kissing her knuckles, he amended, "I didn't mean it that way, love. I wasn't boasting... although I could-"

She laughed. "Come on, we should shower. Fred'll be waiting for us."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he knows we'll be a while."

"What? How?"

George chuckled. "Well, you said quite clearly that you wanted a shower before you got ready, then you dragged me along with you. He may not have details, but he's probably assumed we're showering together, at the very least."

Hermione blushed. "Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed."

"There's no need to be, love. Fred and I are very close. There's not much we don't know about each other." She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. "I don't kiss and tell, but Fred knows me. There's a certain amount of intimacy in being a twin. I'm sure that you know that we're closer to each other than we are to any of our other siblings."

"Well, yes. I'd noticed that."

George smiled. "Maybe I should have warned you - we're a bit of a package deal. Come on, now. We need to shower and get back to Fred. He'll be waiting."

He got up and walked to the bathroom. Hermione watched him go, enjoying the view and considering the idea of a package deal.

CHAPTER END NOTE:

Concept of a cushioning charm on a broom from Quidditch Through the Ages, page 48.

Many thanks go to my beta, Jen - UnseenLibrarian.

Thank you for your patience and continued support. As always, the muse LOVES reviews! ♥
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Wands and Wheezes