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Survivor's Guilt	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 34080 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money of this dark dance of Harry Potter fanfic.

Chapter List
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Chapter 10

Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Thanks, Tenchi, you're the best!

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Flopped in a chair by the mirrors outside the changing room, Harry was dozing off and on while Lucius went through the racks to find clothes he liked. Of course, Harry would come to when asked a question, but he was so exhausted from lack of sleep that he kept randomly dozing. When he was awake, he did find it amusing to watch Lucius. The man was fastidious about clothes, it appeared. Not only was he running the sales clerks ragged finding the perfect outfits, though they were things like jeans, khakis and casual shirts, he was ensuring that everything fit just so then looked perfect, not to mention knowing just what they were made of. However, considering the pile of things that he was saving to buy, it appeared those harried clerks were more than willing to indulge him.

Shifting around into a more comfortable position, slouching slightly, Harry crossed his arms over his chest and watched what was going on. From what he could see, he thought Lucius was almost done. He seemed to be down to the last of what he was choosing; jackets. From his vantage point, Harry could see Lucius trying to choose between three styles. One was a fancy overcoat, like a London Fog trench, a leather motorcycle jacket and a casual windbreaker. All were, of course, nice looking but suited for different things. As he knew the elder Malfoy wouldn't need something heavy to fight off the cold, he said, softly, “I wouldn't bother with the trench coat. That's too business-like for some of the other things you've chosen. The other two would be fine. The windbreaker would be great for some of the more casual things and the leather jacket for like jeans.”

Glancing over at Harry, Lucius looked back at his choices then nodded, “Yes, I do believe you're right there. However, I do like the trench. I think I may get it to go with my suits.” Looking back at the sales clerks, he said, “I'll take them all.” Handing over the new credit card from Gringotts, he said, “And I believe we're done, so if you could get them ready?”

Knowing such beings worked on commission, Harry could see the happy looks on their faces as they hurried off to tend to Lucius' purchases. Shaking his head as the elder Malfoy sat down by him, he said, keeping his voice down, “I think you rather made their day. They'll have a good paycheck this week with all you bought.”

“Yes, well, I imagine so,” Lucius smirked slightly. “I'm just one to like a lot of choices when it comes to clothing. Nor am I afraid to pay for such an indulgence.”

Nodding, Harry could understand that from what he knew of Lucius. “Alright, what else do we have to get?” He asked.

“I do believe footwear is the last thing on the list. However, I would like to find a bite to eat before then. That alright with you?”

“Yeah, food sounds good right now,” Harry told him with a nod. Though he didn't have much of an appetite anymore, especially when he sat down to eat, he was hungry and would like a little something anyway.

“Very good,” Lucius nodded. “For the assist, you get to choose. Whatever you like, Harry.”

“Alright,” Harry replied, nodding. “Anything you don't like?”

“I'm game for anything,” Lucius told him. “You and Dudley have introduced me to many things I never thought I would like so I'm willing to give anything you chose a try.”

“That works,” Harry told him. “About a block away from here is a little mom and pop sub shop. The things are greasy, messy and huge but the best there is. How about that?”

Frowning, he tried to remember if he had heard what a sub was before. After thinking it over, he asked, “Aren't those a kind of sandwich?”

“Yeah. Usually, most call them a sub if they are cold sandwiches. You can get plenty of hot ones as well. This place has some of the best there is. Homemade bread, fresh ingredients, the whole nine yards. They are great! Not to mention they have a homemade soup each day that is delicious.”

Though unsure about the sandwich part, Lucius liked the idea of homemade soup. Most places that did things like that had wonderful food of all kinds. So, he was more willing to give it a try. “That sounds workable. After we gather my things, we'll go indulge.”

About forty-five minutes later, Lucius was sitting in a booth with Harry at a rather homey eatery, enjoying himself. Though trepidatious about the place initially, he now understood what Mr. Potter had said. The food, though simple and not fancy in any way, was delicious! The soup, a thick vegetable, was done to perfection with a wonderful taste. The sandwich, on crusty homemade bread, was scrumptious. Oh, he liked this.

Settling back after polishing off his sub, Lucius said, nodding, “Harry, you were right; the food is delicious! Not my normal kind of fare but well worth it. Once more I applaud your recommendations.”

“Food doesn't have to be posh to be good,” Harry shrugged, taking another bite of his sub. “Sometimes the simplest things, if prepared well, are the best. Here is a good example of that. Wait until winter when they start serving chili each day. That stuff is great. At the busy times, there is a line stretching out the door to get it.”

“If the chili is anything like the soup, I can understand that,” Lucius told him with a firm nod.

“It's better, way better,” Harry told him, taking a sip of his Coke.

“I will most certainly have to try it then,” Lucius said making sure to remember that. Taking a sip of his soda, he then settled back and looked at Harry. Honestly? He looked like hell. The dark circles under his eyes were so pronounced it was as though he had black eyes. The pale, drawn pinched look told Lucius he probably hadn't slept right for days. Quietly, making sure he tread lightly, he said, “Harry, you look like hell. Maybe you should see a Healer. They can give you something to help you sleep.”

Shaking his head, Harry sighed. “No thanks. It'll work itself out. Nothing to worry about.”

“You don't look good, Harry, not at all. It's rather concerning, actually.” Lucius told him. “You're... off is the only thing I can think of to describe it. Though I know we don't have the best of histories, I do consider you a friend by now. With that, I would like you to know that you can talk to me if you need to. I know you and Dudley are close but, perhaps, there are some things that I would understand better than he would if it deals with our world.”

Looking over the table to the other man, Harry just shook his head. “It'll work itself out. Nothing to worry about. It's this damned anniversary...” he trailed off.

With a knowing nod, Lucius sighed as well. “Oh, yes, that I get. Some things, though I understand the reasoning behind parts of it, need left in the past. What they are planning is not the way to go about this. It drags up too many hurts for too many beings.”

“Since when do the unwashed masses care about who is hurt over something?” Harry asked sardonically.

“True, they don't,” Lucius told him. “They want a reason to celebrate and plan to have it, no matter what it causes someone else.” Shaking his head, he sighed once more. “I suppose that many are trying to drag you along for the trip down memory lane?” When he saw Harry nod, he shook his head again, “They never learn to leave things alone. Perhaps we can find something to do to keep you in seclusion in a way? Now I imagine is fine but with your job then us having a regular pub we go to, chances are someone may find it.”

“The job is already an issue. Reporters from the Prophet are already bugging my boss to get him to let them down there to talk. He's holding off and refusing but they are starting to wait for me as well. I tell them to bugger off, or course, but you know what reporters are like.” He told Lucius, a disgruntled look on his face. “I took Dudley's advice on things and turned my solicitor onto them to get 'em off my back. Hopefully, he can do something. So far, since I’m fairly good at ducking things like that, they don't know about the pub. I assume, honestly, they'll find out. Then we're going to have to find someplace else to do things.”

“Yes, your solicitor can get them to back off slightly. However, you know what the blithering idiots from the Prophet are like. They will find the pub before too long,” Lucius said with a shake of his head. “Maybe we should find somewhere else before that happens? As you and Dudley are more acquainted with the area than I am, perhaps you know somewhere?”

“I can't think of anywhere. The only place that's going to keep them away is mine. Dudley's would be good as it's in a strictly Muggle area. They will eventually find it though, we all know that. As he has no protections around it, they can converge easily.”

“We can use my townhouse as well. I take no issue with that. It won't be the same thing, of course, but I'm certain we can find things to do. Perhaps sharing a few drinks and some cards? We have good conversations and it would be relaxing. Though, not to push, yours would be perfect for that as well. Many may know where it is, but no one can see or get into it.”

“I agree, it would,” Harry nodded. Honestly? He liked that idea. He could go there straight from work, relax and whatever. He wouldn't have to worry about going out or making nice with anyone. A couple hands of cards a night then he would be alone and not have to worry about getting home, Dudley bugging him, whatever. Besides, it wasn't going to matter much longer if Lucius could get in or not. If he timed this right, it was only going to be a matter of weeks before he was gone. Most things were in place already. The only thing he was really waiting on was for his solicitor to get his new will ready. Once that was signed, he was done and it was time to go.

Looking back at Lucius, he said, “Yeah, that might be a good idea. We'll talk to Dudley today about it and see what he says. I think it'll work better for all of us. Provided, of course, you don't pull something foolish when I let you through the wards.”

Giving a snort, Lucius waved a dismissive hand then said, “My days of doing such things are long over. As I have no desire to make a return trip to Azkaban, the thought won't even cross my mind. No, nothing foolish, I promise. Just what we share. As its most pleasing and something I find occupies the time, I see no reason to do something asinine to make it stop. In fact, I can safely say that it's the highlight of my day most times. More often than not, I sit around and read, doing nothing.”

Looking at Malfoy, he was about to say something dealing with that but stopped. He was well aware, because Ron had gone on about it for ages, what his parole was like. No, he supposed Lucius couldn't do much of anything, really. Nor would most in the Wizarding World have anything to do with him. Because of all that had happened, he was stigmatized and probably would be until he died. Draco wouldn't be in much better shape with that despite the fact he was a fairly good Healer. No, it wasn't that he felt sorry for them, after all, they were paying the price for what they did, he was just understanding it was all.

Finally, he nodded, “Yeah, it'll work. We can talk to Dudley about it later.” Leaning back in his chair, he said, changing topics, “That reminds me...I have some things that I thought Draco should get.”

“What are those?” Lucius asked curiously. As far as he knew, there was nothing Potter had that would be something his son would want. Nor, with the relationship between the two, would such a thing be warranted.

“Well, you know where I live. When I redid the place, I took down a lot of the paintings and family tapestry, things like that. As I just shoved them in the basement, especially that damned screeching nightmare of a painting of Sirius' mum, I thought Draco might want them. He's about the last of the Black family that would like them. Though I'm the head of the house, I don't have any attachment at all to that shite.”

“If that painting is anything like Walburga was in person, you're best shut of it,” Lucius told him, a distasteful look passing across his face. “However, I'll speak to Draco and see if he would like them. I do see your point there. It's best things like that go to family. No insult intended.”

“None taken,” Harry said with a shake of his head. “Only painting in the place I even know who it is happens to be Phineas Black. And since I don't like him, he's confined to the basement as well. I offered them to Andromeda but she doesn’t want them either. So, I thought Draco might.”

“He will take them, I'm certain,” Lucius nodded. “Even if they are stored somewhere or put into a wing that no one uses, I'm sure he would like them. It's a link to his mother and her heritage...” trailing off, Lucius said nothing more, wincing as he thought of Narcissa.

Looking at Lucius, Harry said nothing when he saw the look cross his face. Though, Narcissa, too, had paid the price for what she had done, he felt for the man losing his wife. Plus, with what he was going through right now, he could understand why she had done it and the pain that drove her there. If it was anything like what he was dealing with, it had to have been rotten towards the end. Quietly, he told the older man, “Sorry, didn't mean to bring up something hurtful.”

Waving a dismissive hand, Lucius said, tone firm, “Don't worry about it. Narcissa was a big part of my life. She is always there. No sense avoiding the topic.”

Nodding, Harry said nothing though he was sure it was worse on Lucius than he let on. Clearing his throat, he said, “Just ask Draco and, if he wants them, I'll have Kreacher drag them out of storage. He'll be happy family is getting them.”

“That old elf is still around? I would have assumed he had passed on long before.” He was certain Dudley had mentioned the elf before, but it was a way to get onto another topic.

“Yeah, he's still around and kicking. Takes good care of me, really. Well, once he stopped hating me that is.” Harry told him, downing the last of his soda.

“They are loyal, that's for sure,” Lucius nodded. Drinking the last of his soda, he then said, “Well, if we are done, shall we press on to finding footwear?”

“Let's get it done then we can meet Dudley,” Harry said.

“That is the plan,” Lucius said, standing.

Looking at Lucius as he slid into the booth after Harry, Dudley gave a low whistle and grinned. “Mate, you did a good job! You look great!”

Looking down, Lucius smirked. He was in a simple pair of jeans, boots and a plain white button down shirt. “I do admit, these are most comfortable.”

“They suit you too, mate! Some guys your age, no offense, try to look younger and fail miserably when they try to dress down in something more 'modern'. You didn't try that and look good!” Dudley told him, nodding firmly.

Pleased with that, a smug look on his face, Lucius told him, “It's appreciated, Dudley. I do feel I'll blend in a bit better. I have to say Harry was most helpful in telling me what didn't look good or suit me. That was a great assist. I am pleased with how it went. I do also admit they are far more comfortable to wear than my business clothes. Not having to wear a tie is pleasant as well. I never did like those blasted things.”

Grinning, Dudley nodded, “Yeah, they're called a noose for a reason! I hate the bloody things as well.” Looking at Harry, his brow furrowed. He looked dead on his feet, honestly, completely worn out. “You alright, Harry? You look like shite.”

“Tired,” Harry said as he took a sip of his beer. “Just not sleeping right. Nothing to worry about.”

Nodding, looking closer at his cousin, Dudley could tell that was no lie. What he was seeing was the classic 'I'm not sleeping right' look. “Mate, you need to get something for that before it gets worse.”

“It's nothing to worry about,” Harry shrugged. “It'll work itself out.” Not wanting to stay on that topic, Harry shifted then said, “Lucius and I were talking about the pub. With what's coming, we think we need to shift where we are meeting.” Looking at the older man, he waited for him to take over.

Nodding, Lucius sat his drink down then explained what they had come up with and the why behind it. “We thought it might be a good idea unless you can think of something else. After all, we don't want to be harassed when all we are looking for is a good time and to relax.”

Looking between the two, Dudley was nodding slowly. “Yeah, I think it's a good idea. Not sure what the press is like with your lot, but if they are half as bad as they are with us, no way I want to deal with them.”

“They are just as bad, if not worse,” Harry told him sourly. “Honestly? I go for worse. And anything dealing with me? It goes downhill from there. No, not dealing with them is for the best. They will drag up everything that's happened. None of us need that shite. And they find out Lucius is hanging around? I'm sure they'll peg me as being the next Dark Lord in training with Lucius guiding the way. And if you think that's a joke, I assure you it isn't!” Harry snarled, shaking his head.

“He isn't,” Lucius told Dudley, shaking his head, dour look on his face. “That's not an exaggeration with the way the Prophet slings muck. It wasn't something I thought of when we discussed it, but Harry is right. That is something that isn't outside the realm of possibilities. With my precarious position, I can't allow such a thing to happen either. No, it would land me right back in Azkaban without me being able to defend myself in any way.”

Serious look on his face, Dudley took that all in then said, “Yeah, we better move things along. How about this though? Instead of going to Harry's all the time, we rotate. One night Harry's, one night mine and one night at Lucius' then we start all over. Toss in a couple odd things, such as a restaurant or whatever. We still get out and don't get bored. Work for you lot?” He didn't mind going to Harry's all the time. That wasn't the thing. He just thought getting Harry out of that damned house was a good idea. This way, they could manage that. Though he did like the idea of being at Harry's place. That could give him clues about what might be up with his cousin.

“I find that most acceptable!” Lucius told him, tone enthused. “It would shake things up. Even if the reporters do sniff out something on Dudley, here, whatever, us rotating things might throw them off. Yes, I like this!”

“Works for me,” Harry shrugged. Honestly, he could work with it. Not that he cared, really. He was content to stay home and deal with things rather than go out. However, knowing Dudley like he did, he was certain his cousin wasn't going to allow that. Since, if his timeline held true, and it would be only for a couple weeks, Harry could handle this.

“Excellent,” Dudley nodded. “We'll start tomorrow and meet in the park across from Harry's house. You know where that is, right, Lucius?”

“Indeed I do,” Lucius nodded. “My wife was a Black. We all know about Grimmauld Place. Harry will just have to let me through the wards is all.”

“I will, no worries,” Harry said, looking at the two.

“This I like,” Lucius told them. “Perhaps, on our days not at various houses, you two can show me some of the more entertaining things to do in London. As I'm a bit out of my depth with things and just learning about some others, things I could do would be most pleasing. As it is, I'm at a loss of how to keep myself busy.”

“We can do that, mate, no problem,” Dudley told him. “We can introduce you to movies, what to see, places to eat, all that. With us rotating things, we can always do something different.”

“Yes, that I would like.” The older man told Dudley. “Harry introduced me to a small place today to eat at that I do like. I, most certainly, am going to have to go back. It was great.”

“Oh, where did you go?” Dudley asked, curious.

Giving the name of the place, Harry said, “We were down by there so that's where we went. You know how good their food is.”

“Oh, it's the bloody best!” Dudley enthused with a grin. “Those Italian subs of theirs are to die for. The soup is good too. Never had anything there I didn't like! That was a great choice, Harry! I'm jealous I wasn't along though.”

Chuckling, Lucius smirked, “I was dubious, I admit it. Normally, I'm not one for such things. However, your enthusiasm is warranted. I was pleased with the food. It was something that rivaled some of the fine cuisines I've eaten. Simple and full of flavor. Oh yes, that is a good combination.”

“Harry and I know tons of places like that. We can make sure we take you. They are delicious.” Dudley told him, nodding firmly. Looking at Harry, he grinned, “Maybe next week some time we can take him to the Dalek!”

Getting the reference as being from Dr. Who, Lucius asked, “I'm assuming this has something to do with the show?”

“It's a small pub that is Dr. Who themed. During the week it's alright to go as they aren't busy. Weekends though? It's packed to the rafters! It's a good time, however. Foods good and they have some quality drinks. You'll love it!”

“That sounds most amusing,” Lucius conceded with a smirk. “You will have to introduce me to it.”

Unbeknownst to the two, Harry had, once more, dozed off sitting there. As tired as he was coupled with all the shopping, he had no energy left. He had been fighting not to sleep all day and it was now catching up to him.

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Survivor's Guilt