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Disclaimer: I own nothing of HP nor do I profit in any way from these missives. I almost own the laptop I'm writing this fanfic on, tho'. |
Daily Prophet News Articles
Alaric Jugson Found Dead — Torture Suspected
Alaric Jugson, escapee from Azkaban and a former Death Eater, was found dead near Harrowgate in North Riding, Yorkshire. Muggles in the area discovered Jugson’s mutilated remains, in an area popular with muggle and magical tourists, chained to a fieldstone Druid altar.
The Ministry of Magic remains tight-lipped concerning the investigation. A source in the Ministry’s main office, speaking on conditions of anonymity, confirmed the presence of dark magic at the site. The victim’s wand had been carefully staged across his chest after being snapped in two. Jugson is rumored to have plea bargained with the Ministry to testify against fugitive Death Eaters in return for parole from Azkaban.
Another source in the Ministry speculated that Jugson’s assassination could be the work of rogue pure-blood guerrilla groups, such a S.P.A.M…
S.P.A.M. Blasts Ministry Incompetence In Protecting Former Death Eaters
S.P.A.M leadership released a severe response to the Ministry’s press release on the investigation into the death of former Death Eater Alaric Jugson. Lucius Maloy, S.P.A.M. leader and spokesperson, met privately with Ministry head Kingsley Shacklebolt.
“At a time when the wizarding world should seek peaceful coexistence among its citizens, the Ministry is allowing the so-called ‘victors’ to maim and murder innocent pure-bloods and half-bloods. S.P.A.M. demands better protection of and services for our disadvantaged citizens. Anyone of us could be next. S.P.A.M. demands the immediate release of all assets seized by the Ministry so our families can protect themselves from these assassins — the Ministry certainly won’t protect us if poor Jugson is any indication. S.P.A.M. will be taking up a collection for his young wife; their first child is due sometime in spring…”
Fertility Research Study Initiated at St. Mungo’s
Using funding from the Ministry of Magic and a number of private donors, St. Mungo’s announced today that it is developing a test to determine the combined fertility of magical couples. The test will be available sometime in the spring. St. Mungo’s recommends all couples consider this testing prior to establishing marriage contracts to ensure their unions will be fruitful.
Groups of loosely organized witches have raised resistance to using public galleons for this type of testing. Pamphlets distributed in Diagon Alley by these self-identified “Magical Feminists” communicated concerns that fertile witches would be turned into “brood mares” and their magical rights trampled while infertile witches would be consigned to spinsterhood.
Letters to the Editor of this publication, submitted anonymously via untraceable owls, expressed fear that the test indicates a willingness by the Ministry to force witches into arranged marriages to address post-war population problems. The Ministry denies any such plans.
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