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Lunaticus Book Two: Moonstruck	By : JBankai89 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Remus Views: 5775 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I gain nothing from this but a way to pass the time.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
A/N: Aaaand we're back to Harry's POV.
Chapter 10 – Awakening

Harry's head spun.

At first, he wasn't sure why he felt so strange, so off. He felt so at peace, yet so very wrong at the same time. A hand was in his hair was stroking it gently—feather-light touches that he recognized. But after everything, had Remus actually come back? Harry had a hard time believing it; certainly it was just Hermione, or Ginny, or someone that wasn't Remus. The thought made his heart sink, and as much as he longed to lose himself in his dreams again, something kept pulling him inexorably towards consciousness.

Slowly, and reluctantly, Harry opened his eyes. His eyelashes clung together slightly, and he felt momentarily confused—how long had he been asleep? What had happened?

Immediately, flashes of memory assaulted his senses.

Remus returning, the low, familiar thrum of his voice, his embrace.

“I'm here, Harry.”

Harry moaned lowly. Why was he so confused?

The moment the vocalization passed his lips the hand in his hair stilled, and whoever it was gathered Harry closer to them. The heat of the body, the heady scent of everything he associated with Remus hung heavily in the air, but even so it was difficult to believe that it was actually him. Harry felt as though his head was in a fog, but at the same time it felt as though he was being pulled in half a dozen directions at once.

Harry was thrilled that Remus had finally returned, but at the same time, he wanted to rage at the man. How dare he leave him like this. How dare he utterly shatter everything that they had. Harry whimpered again, and Remus automatically shifted closer to him.

Remus was spooned around him, naked, and something in the way he moved told Harry that it was likely not long after the full moon—he was moving sluggishly, but with enough energy that Harry supposed it must be at least a few days since the full moon. Why he was naked Harry had no idea, and the sensation of his closeness was both wonderful and awful all at once.

Harry was tired, like he hadn't slept in weeks. The small action of opening his eyes had exhausted him, and Harry more than ready to close them again. He didn't focus on Remus—his presence was too confusing to think on, and instead he lent his attention to trying to shake off his fatigue.

Harry now knew that anything involving Remus would ultimately lead to heartbreak, and he didn't want to be happy to see him. In spite of this desire, he could feel his heart soaring at his warm body heat brushing Harry's skin, and the way the scent of him completely enveloped him like a warm blanket. It took all of his strength to not roll over and pull Remus into a hungry kiss.

In an effort to distract himself from his partner, Harry dropped his eyes to look at himself, but he almost wished that he hadn't. What he saw was shocking—beyond shocking, and he inhaled sharply at the sight of it.

Even through his bedclothes, Harry could clearly see it. His skin was stretched tightly over his bones, his stomach was concave, and his entire body seemed to be utterly emaciated—like a Holocaust victim photograph come to life. Harry could guess that Remus had heard his gasp of shock, because the steady puffs of breath against the back of his neck abruptly ceased.

“Harry?” Remus asked tentatively while his hand trailed down his side. It wrapped delicately around Harry's waist and Remus held onto him as though he was made of glass. The gentle touches deeply unnerved Harry, and he clenched his eyes shut while he took a deep, shuddering breath. At last, he forced himself to speak.

“What happened to me?” Harry croaked, his voice low and raspy. How long had it been since he'd spoken, Harry wondered, and he felt another wave of confusion assault his senses. It felt like he could have been out for only a day or two, but how long had it actually been? Harry shivered, and Remus drew him closer. The sensation was still deeply confusing for him, and again he felt the conflicting feelings of joy and anguish fill him at the older man's touch.

“It's—my fault,” Remus murmured, and paused to help Harry roll over. Remus's face was lined with guilt, which made him look even more fatigued than he usually did following a full moon. His hand moved to cradle Harry's cheek, and he began to lean into the touch, but froze at the last minute. He didn't want to forgive Remus—not for this. Remus had left him, abandoned him. Harry didn't want to be happy to see him, yet at the same time every instinct in him was all but screaming at him for his minor rejection of the werewolf's touch. Remus, to his credit, seemed to recognize the small motion of unease, and retracted his hand.

The moment Remus pulled the appendage away, Harry felt himself missing it. He clenched his eyes shut again and tried to focus. There were more pressing matters at hand than their marital problems.
Primarily, Harry was confused as to what Remus had done to cause this unsettling transformation in his physique. At the same time, while he was certain that it was Remus's fault, he was uncertain how he could have been the cause of it when the last thing Harry remembered was Remus running away from him, not cursing him.

“What do you remember?” Remus asked tentatively after a moment of silence, and Harry looked away as he struggled to recall what had happened, and how he could possibly have turned into a living skeleton.

“I remember going to find you, then waking up in Grimmauld Place with Ron and Hermione,” Harry mumbled, wincing at his hoarse tone of voice. One of Remus's hands moved to rub his back in a gentle, loving caress; the gentleness of the contact bothered him, but for the moment Harry felt too drained, both emotionally and physically, to protest it. “I—I don't understand. How long has it been? What happened to me?”

“It's been a little over a month,” Remus murmured, his gaze fixed anywhere but on Harry, and Harry could see the guilt burning in his amber eyes. The information hit Harry like a blow to the chest. A month? Harry thought back, but his memory was blank. How could he have missed an entire month? He turned his head away slightly, feeling strangely ill, and Remus's arm tensed around him, as though afraid Harry might pull away.

“What happened to me?” Harry repeated the question, his heart racing in his chest. He was almost afraid to know what could have happened to cause such a dramatic loss of time. He tried to sit up, but Remus was still holding tightly to him. After a brief moment's hesitation he loosened his grip, Harry sat up with a soft groan, and he raked his fingers through his greasy and unkempt hair.

“I—” Remus began, but cut himself off quickly. He looked so guilty, but Harry was mystified as to why. What did Remus do this time? Harry wondered, swallowing thickly. “I blocked our bond,” he said at last, and Harry felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. He had had a vague inkling that that was the cause of his current state, but that did not make hearing it any easier.

“I—I thought that I mad managed to break the bond,” Remus continued, his voice shaking a little as it dropped to a hoarse whisper. “I thought that it would be better this way...I didn't want you fully turned, I couldn't curse you with this...this affliction. I thought it would be better for you if I left so that you could have some kind of a normal life. I wrongly assumed that you wouldn't suffer because of my crass mistake.”

Harry felt sick.

His fingers curled around the edge of the duvet they lay on, but Harry couldn't grip it as tightly as he would have liked. Harry felt his eyes burn, and he forced himself to roll away from Remus so that the older man would not see his tears. He wanted to rage, he wanted to scream at Remus for doing this to him, he wanted to hate him.

But he couldn't.

A stronger part of him just wanted Remus to hold him and never let go.

The strong, conflicting emotions made Harry's head spin, and in an effort to keep from succumbing to tears, Harry forced himself to speak.

“Why did you come back?” He asked thickly, and flinched when he felt Remus reach out to gently brush his shoulder. The hand retracted quickly.

“Hermione sought me out,” Remus replied in a dull tone of voice, “she entered Fenrir's territory on her own, and nearly got herself killed looking for me. Through her, Fenrir found out what I had done and to say he wasn't pleased would be putting it mildly. She made me come back.”

“You don't even want to be here, do you?” Harry said, and winced when his voice cracked. He paused to clear his throat, and tried again. “You came back out of guilt. You're going to leave me again as soon as I'm strong enough, aren't you?”

The silence was answer enough.

Remus did not try to touch him. They lay in awkward, painful silence, until Remus stood up, dressed, and slipped out the door.

Harry curled in on himself. His fingers dug into the edge of the blanket. A solitary tear streaked his cheek. He had never felt so alone.

~*~

The days passed slowly for Harry, he did not know when one ended and the next began. They all bled together into one miserable existence, and the only constant was Kreacher, Hermione, and Ron, all with the same purpose: Feeding Harry.

It made Harry feel like a child, they way they'd come to him every hour or so with small portions of broth and soft foods, just trying to get him to eat. At first, he was reluctant. What was the point? Harry wondered. The moment he was healthy again Remus was going to take off, and he would be alone again. He was so angry at Remus; angry that he had done this to him, angry that he had abandoned him, angry that he had done something so stupid. At the same time however, the idea of losing him again was unthinkable.

“Please Harry,” Hermione had said tearfully two days after he's woken up properly, while she held out a bowl of chicken broth to him, “you need to eat.”

“What's the point?” Harry mumbled while he dropped his gaze from his friend to stare miserably at the duvet. “The second I'm well again Remus is gonna bolt. Nothing I do can make him stay, so why should I even bother?”

“Because Remus being a thickheaded git isn't worth throwing your life away over,” Ron said from the door, his arms crossed. “We'll work it out, we always do. But first we need you to eat so that you can get your strength back and hash it out with him properly.”

Harry lifted his gaze back up to them, and he swallowed thickly. He could see that they both carried a look in their eyes that told Harry that one way or another, they were going to get some food into him. Though he had absolutely no appetite, Harry gave in and took the bowl from Hermione grudgingly. He drained the broth slowly, but even taking it slowly the sudden food intake made his stomach cramp, though he managed to keep it down. Hermione beamed.

“One step at a time,” Hermione said encouragingly, while she perched at the end of the bed. “We just need to get you back to normal, then you and Remus can work all this out.” She exchanged a significant look with Ron, but Harry hadn't the foggiest idea what it meant.

“I'm not sure if there's anything left to work out,” Harry muttered, and took another sip of the broth. Except maybe to say our goodbyes. The thought made Harry want to cry. Even after being lucid for forty-eight hours, the conflicting emotions had yet to abate. Harry desperately wished that he could work out which was the stronger impulse, but he had yet to decide whether he truly wanted Remus to stay or go.

“The bond is making things more complex,” Hermione said gently, “it wants you to forgive him, but because it has begun to break, it's making the magic of it more intense and unpredictable.”

“Somehow, that isn't making me feel any better, Hermione,” he muttered, and handed the empty bowl back to her.

“I just mean, we'll get this sorted, and you and Remus will work things out...one way or another.”

From the door, Ron grunted derisively, and Harry silently shared his sentiment.

~*~

Harry's slow recuperation continued. He did not see Remus again following his awakening from his comatose state, but Harry knew that he was in the house.

It wasn't magic of the bond that indicated to Harry that he was near—Hermione's shrill yells as she berated Remus was proof enough that he was nearby. His presence calmed Harry, but only somewhat. The knowledge that he would leave at the first opportunity made it difficult to be entirely thrilled by it.

Often, Harry wondered if Remus came to see him after he'd fallen asleep. He wasn't certain if this was wishful thinking or an actual occurrence. However, Harry woke more than once in the middle of the night, and he was certain the cause of his abrupt waking was the sharp sound of his bedroom door snapping shut.

Harry's twenty-fourth birthday passed them by without a word from Harry or his friends. It was quite clear that Harry was in no fit state—both physically and mentally—for a celebration. Harry was still caught in a confused state of wanting to see Remus, and wanting to forcibly remove him from Grimmauld Place. Harry wondered often if these strange, conflicting feelings would calm if Remus was nearby, at least enough for them to discuss what was happening like mature adults. Unfortunately, Remus seemed to be doing everything in his power to give Harry 'space', though he could not see how the older man thought that this separation was in any beneficial. After a month of this unpleasant behaviour, Harry actually welcomed the presence of the full moon.

The oncoming moon enabled Harry to push his confused feelings towards Remus to the back of his mind as he prepared for an evening in the company of Moony—someone who actually wanted to be with him. For the first time, Harry understood why Remus often referred to Moony as though he was another being entirely—without Remus's pesky and misguided morals in the way, it showed Harry Remus's heart in a way that Remus himself could not. Remus both wanted him and wanted nothing to do with him, and it felt to Harry like he was standing before a mirror and seeing his own feelings reflected back at him. He wanted Remus, but after everything, he also wanted nothing to do with the man. The symmetry was unnerving, and Harry had no idea what to make of it.

He was still on small meals, but he had gained a small amount of weight in that time, enough that his ribs were not as pronounced, but still quite visible. The oncoming moon burned in Harry like it never had before, and as he had anticipated, it was still early in the day when Remus finally came to him.

His presence, as it always had in recent days, filled Harry with a confusing mixture of joy and grief. He longed for Remus, and it hurt that he had no intentions to stay with him. Harry hated that he still wanted him—he hated that he still loved him so deeply.

Before Harry could stop it, he felt his eyes burn as they welled with tears. He drew up his bony knees to his chest and looked away from Remus, who was standing awkwardly in his doorway. Harry felt utterly pathetic, and hated that after everything, he could break so easily. Things had been going so well, then Remus, once again, shattered what they'd had into a million pieces. It wasn't fair.

“Don't,” Harry said as he heard the werewolf draw in a deep breath. “I know what you're going to say and just don't. Nothing you can say will justify you abandoning me. I just...I don't want to hear it.” Harry blinked rapidly, but he couldn't stop the tears that were now streaking his cheeks. He knew Remus was still there—he could hear his shallow breathing—but he couldn't bring himself to look at him.

“I don't want you to go,” Harry continued, his voice barely above a whisper, “I don't want you to leave me again. But nothing I can do will make you stay. I don't care anymore if it's our bond, or this partial-turning thing, or something else entirely.” Harry finally turned to face Remus, and narrowed his eyes at him. Remus flinched as though he'd been struck. “I love you, you fucking idiot. I'll still love you if you disappear and never come back. And I hate it.” His voice broke in a weak sob, and he buried his face in his hands as he cursed. No one had ever made him feel so weak before—Not Malfoy, not Umbridge, not even Voldemort. And yet Remus had managed to shatter everything that he had been in a mere handful of months.

It took several minutes for Harry to calm down enough to look up, and he had a feeling he looked as bad as he felt, if the stricken look on Remus's face was any indication.

“We were good together, weren't we?” Harry asked softly, “why...why would want to cock it all up by doing this to me...to us? I lost my parents, I lost Sirius, I lost Dumbledore...Dobby, Fred...” Harry trailed off and shook his head. There were too many to name. “And now, I've lost you, too.”

“Harry,” Remus breathed his name, and he took a few tentative steps into the room. When Harry did not stop him, his resolve seemed to crumble and he hurried to his weakened partner and pulled him into an embrace. He buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck like he always did, and he could feel the dampness of the older man's tears stain his shirt. Harry held onto him tightly, afraid to let go. Part of him was distantly aware that letting Remus back in in any capacity was not a good or healthy thing to do, but a larger part of him didn't have it in him to care.

“I'm so sorry,” Remus said thickly, “I just...what's happening to you...I got so scared, I don't...I don't want to curse you with this.”

“And taking off without a word is the best way to deal with these problems?” Harry asked weakly, and tugged on his jumper until he sat on the bed next to Harry. Remus clutched tightly on to Harry, almost painfully, as though he was afraid that he might vanish.

“I—I didn't know...about blocking the bond, I swear, I really didn't. I didn't know it was so serious. I would never have knowingly done this to you, you must understand that. I—” Harry cut Remus's words off with a kiss.

It had been so long, like he'd been in a desert and suddenly come upon an oasis. Remus clung to Harry as desperately as he clung to Remus, and he felt the scent and taste of Remus wash over him, and for the first time in ages, Harry felt completely at peace. He knew it was the bond at work, urging Harry to forgive and forget, and Harry still didn't want to do either of those things. At the same time however, in between the bond the the pull of the oncoming full moon, Harry's will was not entirely his own, and he let the sensation of Remus's kiss wash over him.

“I don't care what your excuses are, I don't care, I really don't,” Harry whispered against his mouth, “I don't even know what's me and what's this bond anymore. I just...I don't want this to be over, but I want it to end, too.” Harry felt completely drained by the emotional outburst and he lay back down. Remus lay down at his side, his arm draped over Harry's abdomen, and he felt Remus tense slightly at his words. He rolled onto his side to face Remus, and his eyes studied the older man's face intently. He wore a blank mask, but Harry could still all but feel an anguish that mirrored his own radiating off of him. He leant in and brushed his lips over Harry's lightly.

“I'll—I will be here for as long as you want me to be,” he murmured, and Harry laughed bitterly. The empty sentiment hurt almost as much as Remus's initial abandonment had.

Remus stayed with Harry, holding him like he had so many nights before all this had begun. When Kreacher brought up his small meals every few hours, Remus would help Harry sit up and he took it upon himself to feed Harry like he had done when he had been hospitalized nearly a year before. As it had back then, it still felt both strange and intimate at the same time.

When the sky had begun to glow orange and red, there was a soft tapping on Harry's bedroom door, and he looked up to see Hermione poke her head in. Her cheeks immediately flushed cherry-red when she caught sight of the pair of them curled up together, but it did not deter her from whatever she'd come to say.

“Er, Ron and I are going, and we'll be back at sunrise,” Hermione said, not meeting Harry or Remus's eye. “Will you be okay tonight Harry?”

“I've had many a full moon with just Moony for company Hermione,” Harry replied with a faint smile, “I'll be fine.”

“O—okay then,” she said, smiling in return, and for once the gesture didn't seem forced. Hermione moved as though to leave, then paused and turned back to Harry. “It's good to have you back Harry,” she said softly, “we've missed you.”

Harry didn't quite know what to say to that, but nodded once in acknowledgement to her words. She slipped downstairs, and Harry heard the low thrum of her speaking to Ron, followed by the front door opening and closing.

“Alone at last,” Remus murmured into his ear as he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist from behind, and pressed a kiss to Harry's sharp shoulder blade.

“Not that we can do anything,” Harry replied, forcing a false chuckle, “I'm still not completely back to my old self and with moonrise so close...well, I don't know about you, but beastiality isn't exactly my thing.”

Harry knew that Remus's rekindled sex drive was the pull of the moon, and like Harry, Remus was not entirely in control of himself. For this, Harry could easily forgive him, because like the werewolf at his back, Harry, too, could feel its pull. He didn't dare voice the sensation he was feeling, now that he knew that anything that was more lycanthropic than human in nature was a surefire way to scare off his partner.

“Fair enough,” Remus replied, and leant forward to press a soft kiss to the side of Harry's throat. The sunset's colours deepened, and Remus untangled himself reluctantly from Harry and began to shed his clothes.

Harry watched in silence, and as the moon finally graced the sky, Remus's form bowed forward and he let out a soft groan, his form shifting to his werewolf alter-ego.

Harry had technically seen Moony at the last moon, but he hadn't been completely coherent then, and didn't remember much. It felt like months since the last time he'd seen the werewolf, and as the transformation reached completion, Harry couldn't help but stare. If he wasn't mistaken, Moony had gotten bigger since the last time he saw him—much bigger. Still bear-like in size, he was much closer to a polar bear now than a black bear, and Harry felt momentarily alarmed by the sheer size of the animal that now occupied his bedroom.

Moony shook himself, turned, and caught sight of Harry sitting up. Tail high and wagging, he closed the five-foot distance between them in two strides, then bumped his muzzle against Harry's cheek affectionately.

The familiarity of the gesture made Harry laugh, and he reached up to card his fingers through the thick fur.

“Hey Moony,” Harry said softly, “it's been a while.”

The werewolf let out a short bark in response, then much to Harry's surprise, he turned, nosed the bedroom door open, and disappeared.

Harry stared in surprise at the empty doorway, and listened to the distant sound of Moony descending to the main level.

He hardly had time to ponder where he'd gone however before he returned, the handle of a wicker basket in his teeth, and a number of small handheld foods wrapped in a tea towel sat in the basket itself.

Moony set down the basket next to Harry upon the bedspread, then with an almighty groan from the protesting bed springs, he climbed up and curled up around Harry like an enormous, furry, protective shield. Harry leant into the werewolf's warm fur, while the creature whined softly and nudged the basket closer to him.

Taking the hint, Harry sat back up with a soft chuckle and began to rummage through the basket to see what Moony had brought him. He found apples, pears, bread rolls, and a tin of salted cashews.

“It's like a proper feast,” he said to Moony, whose enormous tail thumped against the mattress as he wagged it, and nudged Harry's cheek with his muzzle again.

Harry began to eat without protest, though after one apple and a handful of nuts his stomach began to feel almost uncomfortably full, and he pushed the basket away. Moony whined but didn't try to push him to eat more, while Harry, full and momentarily content, curled up in his mate's warmth and closed his eyes.

—Harry tumbled arse over teakettle and landed on his back, panting harshly as Moony stood over him, his paws on either side of Harry's shoulders, to keep him down. Harry was entirely unconcerned with being caught, and happily exposed his belly to the Dominant wolf. Huffing his approval, Moony bowed forward and nuzzled his mate. Harry lifted his head to meet him halfway, yipping his pleasure as he was finally let up. He bumped his head against the side of Moony's jaw and took off again, more slowly this time to enable them to run side-by-side.

They wove through the trees, running and playing, but as they came upon an open field they found a being blocking their path—a great black wolf with a streak of grey running down its back.

Harry hesitated, unnerved by the new presence in their midst, but Moony approached the large wolf, head bowed a little as he regarded the alpha male. Despite the creature's threatening stance, he welcomed Moony readily like an old friend. Moony looked back to Harry, and with his mate's encouragement, he stepped forward nervously.

The great wolf sniffed Harry thoroughly, a low growl present as he investigated him, then at last he stepped back, welcoming Harry too.

Harry was quick to rejoin his mate, and with the alpha wolf in the lead, he led them through the field, up a steep incline and into a different clearing that housed well over twenty wolves—many of them young or adolescent cubs.

The wolves surged around them in welcome. Harry was home.

Harry woke the following morning, the remnants of the dream burnt into his mind, and, for once, the memories of the dream did not disturb him, and he woke with a sensation of complete peace. Next to him, Remus lay stretched out and holding Harry close in an embrace that was both possessive and loving. It had been so long, Harry did not mind in the slightest the domineering, claiming subconscious attitude, and instead shifted closer into the embrace.

I don't know if I want to be a werewolf, Harry thought as he lay there, his mind going back to the reasons he was having the dreams to begin with, but whatever happens, I know I want to be with Remus. If that means sacrificing my humanity...If maybe we can fix things...maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Harry knew better than to voice this thought to his lover, as it would likely only push him away again. He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against Remus's bare chest, his heart pounding in momentary panic at the thought of losing Remus again. He wasn't sure if he could handle it happening again.

In his sleep state Remus seemed to sense Harry's distress, and his hold on him tightened ever so slightly.

Remus woke a few hours later, and though Harry still wasn't at his best, he was in much better shape than Remus seemed to be, and he threw on his dressing gown before he headed downstairs to scare up some breakfast.

“Harry!”

The sudden squawk of a female voice made him jump as he reached the main level of the house, and he whirled around to catch sight of Ron and Hermione stepping back inside Grimmauld Place.

“It's so good to see you up and about again,” Hermione said as she rushed forward to pull him into a tight hug. In his weakened state, he could do little to fend her off, and instead stumbled clumsily into the embrace, and patted her back awkwardly until she let him go. “We were so worried about you,” she said earnestly, while Ron hung back and watched, though by the smile on his face it was clear that he shared Hermione's feelings.

“I'm getting there,” Harry said simply while he offered her a smile smile of reassurance. He motioned for them to follow him as he ventured farther into the house, eventually ending in the kitchen where Kreacher was piling a breakfast tray high with food.

“Master,” the house elf croaked, bowing low to him before returning to his work. “Kreacher is pleased to see you out of bed.”

“That seems to be the general consensus,” Harry replied, and both his friends grinned.

Using his wand, Harry left his friends downstairs and levitated the tray up the stairs and back to his bedroom. It was only when he'd set the tray down that Remus had begun to stir, and Harry carefully leant forward and kissed Remus gently.

As Remus woke, he pulled Harry closer, and a low growl escaped him as he did so.

“You smell like Hermione Granger,” he muttered darkly as he broke the kiss. Harry smiled weakly.

“She was a little too happy to see me when I went down to get you something to eat,” Harry murmured, and reached forward to kiss him again, “you have nothing to worry about; I'm still yours.”

But for how long? A pessimistic voice at the back of his mind asked, and Harry shook himself to be rid of it. For the moment, he didn't want to dwell on the loss that was likely to come, and merely embrace the moment.

The low, animalistic growl that escaped Remus sounded closer to a purr, and he pulled Harry close to devour his mouth again. He slid off Remus and landed on the bed next to him, letting out a soft moan as he clung to the older man, the breakfast momentarily forgotten.

Remus braced his arm next to Harry's head, boxing him in slightly. It was an action that no longer unsettled him; what did unsettle him however was Remus's apparent lack of exhaustion following the previous night's transformation. The realization gave Harry pause, and as Remus broke the kiss, his brow furrowed with concern.

“Is something wrong?” he asked while relaxed his position and lay back down next to Harry, but shifted his arm to drape it lazily across his chest. To any outside observer, the gesture may have appeared casual, but Harry could all but feel the possessive edge to it.

“Not wrong, exactly,” Harry said, and paused as he tried to work out what was different, and why it was different. He suddenly sat up, doing so a little too quickly, and his head spun. He shook off the dizziness as best he could, and whipped his gaze over to Remus's night table, where he always set his empty goblet after drinking his monthly dose of wolfsbane.

Nothing was there.

“The potion...” Harry began uncertainly, and Remus wrapped an arm around his waist, giving him a small squeeze of reassurance, and slowly coaxed Harry back down onto the bed before he spoke.

“I suppose you were too incoherent to notice earlier,” Remus said softly, his tone of voice neutral, “I haven't been taking the wolfsbane potion for some time now.”

“But...why?” Harry asked, furrowing his brow as he tried to understand. “I thought that the potion helped you.”

“It does, in a way,” Remus replied, an edge of tension lacing his words, “but while I was...away, I met a potioneer who also happened to be a werewolf. He had more insight into what the potion does than I ever will, and while it's true that taking the potion allows me to keep my human mind at the full moon, it does so by repressing my natural urges—hunt, track, kill, mate.” Remus paused, and looked down at Harry, “and protect. Taking it over long periods of time means when a dose is missed, the werewolf that emerges is more violent and bloodthirsty than it normally would be.”

“So basically, you stopped taking it, ran with a pack, and things were...er, better?” Harry asked trying to keep his tone neutral, though if the look on Remus's face was any indication, he had failed quite spectacularly.

“It means I'm stronger, I'm less weakened following the full moon, and I'm more clearheaded, yes,” Remus said, “it doesn't mean that I'm going to leave you again.”

Harry nodded a little, and at last the pair sat up and started on the enormous breakfast that Kreacher had prepared for them. The promise sounded empty to Harry, and without the moon's pull affecting his thoughts, he found Remus's sentiment hard to believe.
A/N: As with the assault in book one, I had a really hard time trying to contrast the magic of the bond utterly fucking up Harry's mental headspace with a realistic reaction to emotional abuse on this scale. I hope I did all right, and if anyone feels like it was unrealistic, please call me out on it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
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Lunaticus Book Two: Moonstruck