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Changes	By : SickPuppy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 27108 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
CH10 AN: Reviewers – you guys rock!
Apothic – I agree about Dumbledore. Anyone who doesn't see that Dumbledore in canon is very manipulative (even if for the best of intentions?!) is wilfully misleading his/herself! In fact (rambling warning), my brother and I have frequent arguments about Severus' change of heart as my brother is convinced Snape never truly swapped sides. He just appeased Dumbledore to avoid Azkaban. His argument is that Snape agreed to swap if Albus saved Lily, which AD failed to do (Dumbledore manipulating Severus). I argue that of course Severus is a goody! (Okay, my evidence needs some work).
Phoenix-rob – I love your comments! Mainly because you raise things that aren't going to happen, but which do resonate with some aspects of the plot. For instance, Draco is going to feature, but not in the way you might have expected. As for the Black family, Harry is (sadly) on his own for this...(I've just had to delete what I was going to type as it gave too much away – see how you nearly trick me?!) SP
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Chapter 10 – The world is a scary place
Harry had resumed his lessons when he had moved out of Severus' chambers. Now he was once again sharing rooms with the man, he felt a curious reluctance to study. After all, he had missed a large chunk of time and consequently found almost all of his lessons too challenging. After only one week he was beginning to despair and felt like giving up.
Watching Snape mark that evening, after he had apologised and sat down, made him introspective. He couldn't keep struggling with his NEWT level work. The homework essay he had been given from Transfiguration was a prime example: Discuss, with reference to Swish's laws of transformation, the limitations affecting transfigurations involving wizard-made objects. Harry had stared at the task and felt absolute bewilderment. He didn't understand the question, so answering it was going to be beyond him.
“Severus?” he spoke tentatively, all too aware that the older man was still angry about how he had been forced into a situation he hadn't wanted.
Scribbling a few words in his customary red, Snape answered without looking up, “Yes?”
“I – I really don't know what to do,” Harry confessed. “I can't do my NEWT work as I just don't understand it. But I can't just stay at the school for the rest of the year and do nothing, can I?”
Snape rolled up the parchment and stuck it in a basket that sat at the side of his desk. “A good point,” he said, finally looking up into the green eyes. “I take it you are feeling out of your depth after having spent a week feeling an idiot … well, more of an idiot?”
“Yes!” Harry complained, letting the insult slip. “And you didn't help yesterday when you were going on about counter-charms that I'd never even heard of but everyone else in the class – even Ron! - seemed to understand! What can I do?”
“You have, realistically, two options, as you are correct and can hardly spend the year relaxing. You can continue your NEWT courses and be prepared to receive a lot of Ts for the next few months until you manage to catch up on all that you missed. And be prepared for your final grades to not truly reflect your abilities. Or...”
“Or?”
“Or you could consider taking some OWL courses instead. Of course you would still need to catch up on missed material, but it would not be so demanding if you chose wisely. Any you didn't get Outstanding in last year you could re-take, or why not sit some subjects you haven't taken before?”
Mulling it over, Harry said, “So, I could re-do Potions and try and get my Outstanding? After all, I've still got that scabby old Advanced Potion Making book that would come in useful. And ...”
“What book?” Snape asked sharply.
Harry blushed. “A book Slughorn lent me at the start of this year. It's full of great hints and tricks to make potion making go well. I even, er, used its ideas to make a potion in our first lesson and it got me some liquid luck!”
“This book - property of the Half Blood Prince?” Severus asked, voice suddenly toneless.
“Y – yeah. How did you know?”
Then Snape had explained that the book had been his, and he had made Harry swear never to use any of the spells he'd invented. No matter the provocation. He also made Harry promise not to take the book out of their quarters. It was to be used in these rooms only to support the boy's learning.
“But you were saying what courses you'd consider taking?” Severus said, redirecting the conversation back onto safer lines although his face still held a tinge of worry.
“Oh, oh yeah. So, aim for Outstanding in Potions at OWL level. And maybe take Muggle Studies? And I guess Care of Magical Creatures wouldn't be too difficult. But, that isn't enough, is it? Only three subjects?”
“With those, and perhaps one, or two NEWT subjects, you would have the time to catch up without feeling completely overwhelmed.” Severus got up and approached the door. “Perhaps a visit to your Head of House is in order?”
Nodding, the younger man followed the black-clad figure.
***
In Mcgonagall's office, Snape outlined his plan and received a sharp nod of approval. “Yes, I think that wise, as really Potter, you don't stand a chance currently. Let me have a look at the timetables and see where we can fit you in. You said Potions, Muggle Studies and Care of Magical Creatures? And what NEWT courses?”
Feeling a little intimidated, after all, two of his NEWT teachers were in the room with him, Harry said, “Maybe DADA and Charms? I'm sorry, Professor, but I really didn't understand a word you said in the last lesson.”
Minerva smiled. “I'm not surprised. I think you've made a wise choice, especially as you can go right to the source for help with Defence Against the Dark Arts.” She glanced at Snape, giving him a sight smile. Like all the teachers, she had been made aware of Harry's new condition and that Snape had been given the job of assisting the youth to deal with the changes it brought with it.
Glancing over at the wall which was covered with a copy of the timetable for all classes in the school, she considered: “OWL Potions should be fine, if you're willing to go into the Hufflepuff / Ravenclaw class. Same for Care of Magical Creatures; and I'm sure Hagrid would be delighted to have you. Muggle Studies you can take with the fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins. You'll continue with your current groups for NEWTs. That will give you ten private study periods a week, plenty of time to catch up with some diligent work.” She tapped a piece of parchment and Harry's new timetable appeared on it.
He had a free (whatever the witch called them, he, and everyone else, referred to them as free periods) every day. Monday was his heaviest day, and Friday was quite light, which was great, as usually by Friday he started flagging a bit. Pleased with the result he thanked her and followed the taciturn teacher back to their rooms.
“Happy now?” Severus asked as the door closed. All the way back down to the dungeons he'd maintained his usual mask of cold indifference to the boy trotting along in his wake. Only now, in the privacy of their rooms did he let his curiosity show.
“Much, thanks, Severus,” Harry replied, still eyeing the timetable. “This looks far more manageable than last week, and I guess Potions won't be too traumatic as I have at least done the potions before and it's just a matter of paying more attention this time round.”
Resisting the urge to comment, Snape settled back in his chair and picked up his quill. “Before you relax too much, remember you do have a lot of work to catch up on. I'd recommend chapters four to seven in 'Advanced Defensive Magic', and probably chapters three to seven in 'The Standard Book of Spells Grade Six'. If those don't give you enough to help, then Professor Flitwick and I will gladly let you have all the homework you have missed.”
“Er, yeah, thanks. I'll pass.” Harry muttered quickly and decided to grab one of the text books before Severus made good with his threat and gave Harry extra work.
***
A fortnight passed. Harry wasn't going to say it had been the easiest time of his life, mingling with pupils he didn't really know, dodging questions about his 'secret mission', dealing with nasty comments about him being too stupid to do NEWTs, catching up on missed work and keeping up to date with current work, as well as fitting in another evening with Dumbledore going into Voldemort's history, but still, after two weeks he began to feel that the worst of it was over. But it also meant that in less than one week he would be changing into the wolf again. It worried him. Now that he'd settled down he wanted to take the wolfsbane potion, but didn't know whether he could yet, and he was a little afraid to ask; since the first night they had lived together again when Severus had said that there was going to be no sex, the forbidding expression on the older man's face had intimidated Harry from asking questions about almost anything that wasn't related to his school work.
But still, if he could take it and just sleep through the change, that would be fantastic. However, what if Lupin got in and raped him whilst he slept? Hands shaking, Harry tied himself into knots trying to work out what was for the best.
“Harry?”
Shocked out of his dilemma by the sound of the teacher's voice, Harry's head flew up. “Severus?”
“I wanted to speak with you regarding your next full moon. Judging by your face you have been fretting about it for a few days. I can make wolfsbane for you, as you have settled very well. To be safe, however, I would prefer this third change be undertaken with no potion. And this time I intend to stay outside the cage. That way we can see if the wolf subdues after the change or whether he needs the … er … physicality of last month to be appeased.”
Face flaming, Harry nodded. “And what if he turns up again?”
“I've learnt my lesson. As soon as we are both in the room I shall cast the wards. He will most definitely not be joining us. I hope that Albus is aware Lupin may attempt to visit again and takes precautions as I shall have my hands full with you.”
“Thank you.” His voice was small and Harry seemed to have diminished. With difficulty he stopped himself drawing his knees into his chest, huddling into a small, defendable shape.
“Stop fearing Lupin. He isn't to be feared. He has tried, and failed, to dominate you through physical means and emotional ones. Now stop cowering to him even though he isn't here and behave like the brave little Gryffindor you've always professed to be!”
Gasping, Harry turned arousal filled eyes to Severus. “Are you telling me to fuck you?”
Seeing the fear on Snape's face, the younger man knew at once that his teacher hadn't considered that his words could have been taken in such a manner. “No,” he choked out, “I did not intend that. Physicality of that kind will not take place between us, Harry. I will face Albus' wrath, and your unhappiness rather than damn the last part of my soul not already contaminated by all I have had to do over the years.”
“Can't you ever forgive yourself?” Harry asked. “Haven't you done enough since you were a proper Death Eater to redeem your soul?”
Surprised at the maturity and insight shown, Severus paced the floor. “Sometimes I think I will never do enough to make up for my mistakes.”
Moving and placing a gentle hand on the dark sleeve, the young wizard asked, “Have you ever told anyone everything you've done? Ever got their perspective on it? Maybe even been forgiven?”
A harsh laugh was his answer. “Would you hear my confession?” Snape sneered. “Hear all the cruel and gruesome things I did willingly because I believed the Dark Lord was right and Muggles and Mudbloods were filthy animals, even though I knew neither was? Would you forgive me if I told you of the hours I spent torturing innocents at the Dark Lord's behest?”
Eyes wide, the werewolf nodded. “Tell me.”
Unable to meet the shining green eyes, Snape slumped into a chair and began talking, his voice low and controlled, even as he described terrible things.
“I joined the Dark Lord the day I left Hogwarts after my seventh year. Even before then I had been friends with many men and women who would go on to join his ranks. At that time, he was gaining in power and influence and it seemed certain that victory was just a few battles away, as who would want to stand in the way of such obvious progress?
“That first day he gave me my Mark and spoke to me in private, asking about my heritage. I was fearful, being half-blood, but he assured me that those who joined him were valued for their actions, not their blood, although, of course, I would have to prove myself more than the Pure bloods. So, my first chance to prove myself was to be that very night. He had learned of a plot to capture some of his followers and attempt to turn them. I was to go along, out of sight, and kill any who seemed tempted, and the ones who were trying to make the Death Eaters defect.”
“He asked you to do that? On your first day?!”
“Yes. And of course I went. At the meeting were three Death Eaters. Two I had been at school with - one had even been in my year – and half a dozen of the Order. At that time, I didn't know its name. All I did know was that these people were trying to weaken my Lord's side and prolong a war that they would ultimately lose. That was my view at that time. Even after I killed those nine people it didn't occur to me to question what You-Know-Who wanted. It didn't occur to me that there were other ways to deal with dissent and opposition.”
Harry gave Severus such a look of pity that the older man was irritated. He wanted Harry to see the monster he truly was; make him stop longing for some wizard who did not exist, but at the moment the little idiot seemed full of compassion for him.
“After that, my place at the Dark Lord's side was assured. He looked into my mind and saw the hatred there and the quick way I had dispatched the nine; never hesitating, even when faced with a boy I had spent seven years sharing a dormitory with. He turned to me to complete so many tasks: the hunting of three prominent families and torturing them; meeting with the vampires and receiving their word that they would not interfere in the war; gaining vengeance for a wizard killed by mistake by a Muggle – that one even I had nightmares over for days after; and so it went on. A never ending parade of misery, all emanating from my wand and my service to that monster who is darker than any dark creature.
“At first, as I said, he saw into my mind, and was reassured by the darkness and devotion he saw there, but I soon taught myself Occlumency and applied it rigorously every time he invaded my head. I let him see the things I had done, the disgust I felt for those too weak to see his point of view was right, and the adoration I felt for him. As low as I had become, I still wanted some privacy, still wanted some corner of my mind that did not belong to him.
“When I learned that he intended to kill your parents I was desperate. By that point I had been serving him for over three years and my belief in his right to rule was diminishing. When he ordered the deaths of you and your parents, I had to do something. Truly, I cared little if James died, but Lily had been my friend. And even if we were ideologically opposed, I still cared deeply for her and wanted her safe.
“I went to Dumbledore and begged for her life. He was disgusted by me and I understand why. I had learned that two contemporaries and a baby had been marked for death and I was selfishly only demanding he saved her. But to me, when my first act as a Death Eater had been to murder people I knew well, what would I have cared for the life of Potter or his son whom I didn't know? Albus told me it must be all or nothing – either he would save all three, or none. I agreed. As much as I loathed James, I would never have traded Lily's life to end his. But, as you know, it was for nothing. The Dark Lord destroyed them, but not you, and was temporarily defeated.
“And now he is back, and I must balance service to one who demands everything and one who nearly demands the same. My only saving grace is that as I am at the school, I am not expected to spend my evenings on my knees listening to him grand stand.”
He stopped speaking and gazed down at his hands. They had caused so much destruction and yet there was so little sign of the hurt they had caused. Was his own soul similar? To the world at large did it look intact when really it was crumpled and torn?
“Severus,” the younger wizard said at last, “you have done awful things, and I can't think of a worse punishment than to do all of those things and to care about it, but you behaved honourably when Voldemort wanted to murder me and my parents. You hated my father, and with just cause, but even when you had known only hatred for years, you still chose love for my mother over the dark feelings you had for my Dad. And your actions have helped so much. I'm sure I would have been dead a dozen times over – not even counting this whole werewolf problem – if not for you.”
***
After that, the tension seemed to ease a little. For Harry, who knew he wanted to sleep with Severus, and knew it wasn't just the wolf (he was finally starting to identify the two different viewpoints), it was quiet torture: watching the older man move with such grace and confidence, hiding all those emotional wounds he carried from being raped as a child, to torturing and killing people he had known, to learning of Lily's death.
When the night of the full moon came, Harry went quickly to the caged room and shut the gate, watching carefully as Snape prowled the quarters and cast the spells needed to ward them in. Harry stripped of all but his boxers, but remained hidden behind the towel that had been draped across the bottom half of the bars. He'd passed his clothes and wand over and now waited, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet, wondering what this change would bring.
Snape was wondering too. He could remember all too clearly how it had felt lying under the wolf and being fucked so violently. His ass twinged a little at the thought of it. But, he reminded himself, no real damage had been done – that had been something he had checked the following day (when he had felt able to touch his ass and not whimper). Hopefully, once this change was over, Harry wouldn't be subsumed by the wolf and Severus would feel that using the wolfsbane would be possible. But until he knew how Harry would cope without sex during his change, he was not going to let the potion be used.
The sun set, not that his rooms had windows, and the moon began to rise.
In the cage, Harry's head flew back, and he sniffed the air in great gusts, turning this way and that as he scented the moon. An amber gleam filled his eyes and the painful transformation began. Gaze fixed on Snape, he altered: snarling and growling as his teeth sharpened and his snout developed, whimpering and whining as his bones cracked and lengthened, slobbering and drooling as claws appeared and dug into the straw on the floor and the wood on the walls. Those yellow eyes transfixed Severus, who could see, with Harry's new height (and because he'd removed the towel) that the wolf was aroused: like Lupin had done, Harry leaked semen as he stared at the man he wanted but couldn't reach.
He snuffled closer, nostrils flaring as they smelt the man he had claimed the previous month. Closer and closer, face pressed against the bars. He whined and stuck an arm through, claws raking at the stone floor, piercing Severus with the need in the gaze.
Snape's own dick throbbed in his trousers, and he knew, from the way Harry's eyes glowed, that he had scented the arousal. A steady whimper made him unwisely look at the wolf: those eyes were so determinedly staring at him, the prick dripped continuously – white fluid oozing out of it and slipping down to the floor where it pooled and soaked the straw; saliva dribbled from the snout. His own body ached to be under Harry again; to feel again that possession, but he had to stay clear of the cage and had to make the wolf experience one change without sex.
Almost incapable of walking, Severus left the room and entered his bedroom. Pushing the door to, he tugged his length out and tugged on it. After only a few strokes he was coming, balls clenching as his seed spurted eagerly out of him.
The wolf howled as the smell of sex spread from Snape's room and filled his nose. He clawed more violently, noises increasing in volume as he begged the human to come to him.
Gritting his teeth against the noise and the temptation, Severus tried to read. He knew sleep was out of the question; it was going to be a long night.
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CH10 AN: Apologies for any typos. My cat wanted my pizza and decided to head across the lap top to get at it.
And a preview of chapter 11: Eyebrows lowering, Severus let his anger show. “Get off me, Harry. This has gone on enough already.”
The boy leaned in and nuzzled the neck. His mouth opened and he bit Snape.
“Ow!”
“Stop me,” Harry jeered, “if you can.” He leaned back in and kissed, licked and bit Severus' neck.
Remember, if you want to be updated, email me on affsickpuppy@yahoo.com (or leave an email address with your review) SP
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