Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

ONE LIFE TO LIVE	By : Mistress Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 9831 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Nor do I make any money off of writing in here.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
Took me awfully long, but finally a new chapter is all ready. Hope it's to your liking.
CHAPTER TEN
SEVERUS (24 YEARS AGO)

I walk into the main room where he sits on his throne-like chair. I bow in respect and he gestures me to come closer.
- “Come, Severus. I haven’t seen you for quite a while. What is it that you wanted from me?”
- “Have I done anything to displease my Lord?”
- “Displease me? What makes you say that?”
- “You haven’t called for me, since the day Lucius and I joined your ranks.”
- “Indeed I haven’t. I am still not quite sure what it is that you can do for me.”
- “I am ready to do whatever you request from me, my Lord.”
- “Is that so?”
I take another bow.
- “I appreciate your eagerness, Severus. You know, now that I think about it, there is something that I might need from you. A potion of sorts. Something that will have a permanent effect on the person who drinks it.”
- “My Lord, none of the potions I know, have permanent effects. All of them are temporary.”
- “That’s what makes it so unique. I need you to design a potion that will have a permanent one.”
- “If I may ask, what kind of effect should that potion have, my Lord?”
- “It should create a complete devotion to me of someone who drinks it. Bind that person to me with their whole being. Heart, soul and body.”
- “My Lord, to create this kind of potion is next to impossible. It would take a person’s free will. I don’t see why you would need this kind of potion My Lord, when you can have any willing person serve you and be devoted to you.”
- “People are weak, Severus. Their opinions of you change. A person that is devoted to me today, will be the one who stabs me in the back tomorrow. You know more about it than anyone, do you not?”
A sting of anger pierces my heart with a memory of Lily and the one she chose over me.
- “Yes, My Lord”
He walks to me and starts talking with almost father like concern in his voice.
- “I can hear your thoughts, Severus. They scream louder than any words you say.”
- “My Lord, if I may be so bold to ask…” The gesture of his hand, gives me permission to proceed. “You already have someone in mind?”
- “Indeed I do”
- “Is it a woman, My Lord?”
- “You’re pushing your boundaries Severus…”
- “Forgive me My Lord”
- “I know that trust is not earned in a day and you still have your doubts about me and that’s why I will indulge you with the answer. It is indeed a woman.”
- “My Lord, I’m sure that any woman would be glad to give you her undivided love and devotion, should you allow her that honor.”
- “Not the one who’s body and spirit already belong to another”
- “Tell me who it is that’s in your way My Lord and I will get rid of him.”
- “I’m glad to see your loyalty my boy, but I’m afraid that I can’t let you do it. You see, I have big plans for him, so his presence by my side is somewhat crucial to me.”
- “He serves you My Lord?”
- “Yes he does.”
- “And the woman?”
- “She joined my ranks because of him.”
- “My Lord, say a word and I will find a way to convince him to give her up for you.”
- “Ah, but I’m afraid that it is not him who I will need to convince, it is her.”
- “I understand. I will start working on developing that potion right away.”
- “Thank you, Severus. You’ll have to forgive me though, I will not reveal the identity of this woman to you before the potion is completely finished.”
- “I understand, My Lord. Is there anything else you will require of me?”
- No. Focus on developing this potion. I can see however, that you also wanted to request something from me. What is it that you want?”
- “If I may be so bold, My Lord….”
- “Proceed”
- “When Lucius and I joined your ranks, you promised to assist with finding a man that we were not able to find ourselves.”
- “I remember that and I can assure you that my people are working on it. Finding someone who does not want to be found takes time, but I never back down from my word and you can be assured that you will see the results very soon.”
- “Thank you, My Lord. I did not expect anything less from you. Forgive me for doubting your word.”
- “Never doubt me, Severus. Trust in me like I trusted in you when I let you join me. I can see that you are very skillful and someday I will let you utilize those skills. Until then, I want to do something for you to strengthen your trust in me.”
- “I don’t think that I deserve any of the gifts that you wish to bestow on me, My Lord.”
- “Nonsense.” He gestures me to sit down with him and when I do, puts one of his fingers on my forehead. “Open your mind to me my son, for it will be your first lesson of many. Rare people have the skills I’m about to teach you. I want you to be one of them. Legilimens.”
Familiar feeling of invasion possesses me. He walks through my memories and watches them as if they were laying in front of him on display, then exits my mind just as fast.
- “My Lord, that was…” I can’t seem to finish the sentence, as a powerful headache hits me.
- “Legilimency is a power to enter someone’s mind, as Oclumency is a power to block that someone from entering it. I want you to learn both. Today was your first lesson and we will continue tomorrow and the days to come, until you prefect both of those skills.”
- “My Lord is too generous.”
- “Accept that gift, as it is my wish to give it to you.”
- “Thank you, My Lord.”
- “Now go, my son. I will see you tomorrow at the same time.”
- “Yes, My Lord.”
I take another bow and walk out of the room. My headache seems as it will never stop. It feels, as if he is in my head permanently now. I can’t seem to shake the heavy feeling of invasion. I apparate back to the mansion and go straight to my room. All I want is to get some rest, but it seems that fate has other plans. In a few short minutes I hear a soft knock on the door, which can only mean one person, Cissy.
- “Severus, I need to talk to you. May I come in?”
- “Of course Cissy, you don’t need to ask.”
She walks in and sits on the corner of the bed, on which I’m laying with my hands covering my face. The headache I have is that bad.
- “Severus, are you ok?”
- “I just have a headache, that’s all.” I place my hands down and see her eyes widening.
- “Severus, your nose is bleeding. Let me get you something for that.”
Before I can answer, she calls a house elf and asks the creature, to bring me a headache potion. As the elf disappears with a soft pop, she takes out her handkerchief and wipes the blood from my face. My first reaction is to protest, but her gentle touch feels so good, that words gets stuck in my throat and the only thing I’m able to do is wait till she’s done. House elf pops back in with a tiny bottle of potion. I watch as she takes it and with a quirk of a perfect eyebrow, downs it into my throat.
- “There, that should do it” she says and strokes my cheek with her fingers.
I don’t know what makes my headache go away, a potion that I have just taken, or her touch.
- “Is that better?”
- “Yes, thank you.”
- “I’m glad I could make you feel better” she says, blushing slightly. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, but if you still don’t feel well, tell me. I mean that can wait till…”
- “Cissy, stop. What is it?”
- “It’s, well… it’s about… about Lucius.”
- “What about him?”
- “You know, he… I don’t know, it’s probably nothing, it’s just…”
I see her stumbling on every word and take her hand into my own and squeeze it gently – “What did he do? Tell me.”
- “Nothing.” She lowers her head “He didn’t. I mean… he doesn’t… not anymore.”
- “He doesn’t what?”
She takes a deep breath, trying hard to hold her tears – “Before, he tried to talk to me you know, make me feel better. He was trying to… fix things, make it work between us and in some way, it… it made me feel like he really cares, but… not anymore. He stopped, you know. And I don’t know if it’s because I never showed him that I notice what he does, or just because he… doesn’t care anymore.”
I swallow the lump in my throat - “Cissy, don’t say that. Lucius loves you. Trust me when I say that not a day goes by, when he doesn’t think about making it up to you. He told me so himself.”
- “Is that true?”
- “I wouldn’t lie to you. He’s just… he doesn’t know what else he has to do, so I guess he’s just trying to give you some time, you know. But he really does love you” I say, trying to sound as convincing as possible, hoping she would believe my words.
- “I hope you’re right. I hope he doesn’t have another woman that makes him forget about me.”
My heart starts racing and I feel as it’s about to jump right out of my chest. Fighting the trembling in my hands, I stroke her fingers with my own. – “There’s nothing that can replace you in his heart. I know that and you should too.”
It seems that my words have some effect on her and she smiles at me warmly.
- “Thank you, Severus.”
- “You’re always welcome.”
She sits there quietly for a while, as if trying to decide if she should tell me something or not. Finally she raises her eyes to me.
- “You know, when Abraxus… when he…” She sighs before continuing. “He hurt me. Physically. He made me afraid to ever do it again. I guess that’s one of the reasons I couldn’t make myself think about it, but Lucius… I know he wants to try, but… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.”
- “Cissy, you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
- “Can I ask you something?”
- “Sure”
- “That night, when it all happened, I mean if it wouldn’t have happened as it did… I mean…”
- “Cissy, I hope you know how sorry I am for… for thinking I could ever…” I take a deep breath, trying to get the words out, but before I’m able to say something, she takes my hand again.
- “I just wanted to know, if it would have happened, you know… differently, would you… would you be gentle with me?”
- “Cissy, I…”
- “Please, Severus. I need to know.”
All I want is to tell her how gentle would I be with her if things were different. How much she means to me and how much I’d want to be on my brother’s place, but to say that, to admit that, would mean losing both of them. I close my eyes and think for a moment of all those times Bella came to me, polijuced as her sister. Of all the times I did things, imagining it were her hands and her lips on me. Gods forgive me. I open my eyes and see her looking at me, waiting for an answer.
- “I would” I whisper in defeat. She smiles, strokes my cheek with her fingers and gets up, walking quietly to the door. Before exiting, she stops and looks at me again.
- “Thank you.”
The only thing I can think of when she leaves is how much I need to be away from this house now. I get up and apparate to the Diagon Alley. Walking into the Leaky Cauldron, I take a place by the bar. All I want is to get drunk and forget about things, if only for some time. With an excessive arsenal of local liquor, my wish is fulfilled pretty quick.
My head gets heavier with every shot, but before I can get into a complete stupor, I feel a gentle touch on my shoulder.
- “Severus, thank Gods I found you.”
I know this voice, I would recognize it among thousands of others. I turn my head.
- “Lily. What do you want?”
- “I was looking for you. I haven’t seen you since NEWTS. Professor Mcgonagal was looking for you too.”
- “Why?”
- “She worries about you and so do I.”
- “Tell her not to worry. I’ll see her soon. I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”
- “Busy with what?”
I turn my head to the glass in my hand and watch as it fills with more alcohol.
- “It’s none of your business.”
- “Severus, please. I thought we were friends.”
- “Friends? I thought that my association with Lucius, made you not want to be my friend. Or did you suddenly change your mind?”
- “I’ve always been your friend, you know that. I just didn’t think that Lucius would have a good influence on you, that’s all.”
- “Oh I see. That was the reason why you turned your head away whenever it was convenient for you.”
- “Severus, you know it’s not true. What James did to you was not fair, I didn’t…”
- “What he did, he will pay for.”
- “Severus, you don’t mean that. I know that you’re upset with him, but surly you don’t think that those childish pranks were done out of hate. He was a bully and it was not fair, but things change.”
Her ignorant words hurt more than any insult.
- “You don’t know what you’re talking about. He did something far worse and I won’t stop until I find him and make him pay for that. You can go and tell him that.”
She looks at me quietly for a few moments.
- “I don’t know what he did that was so bad, but I’m sure he is already paying for it. He’s being followed by some men who already tried to kill him. I don’t know what they want from him, but his life is in constant danger. I don’t even see him much these days.”
- “Why are you telling me that?”
- “Because… because I think that you have something to do with it.”
- “And what if I do?”
- “Severus, please. You have to stop it.”
- “I don’t have to do anything, Lily.”
- “For the love of God, I can’t believe you can be so heartless. I’m sure that whatever it is that he did, can’t be that bad.”
Tears start forming in her eyes, as she finishes her sentence. I look at her and anger washes over me like a wave. I slam the tumbler with whisky against the counter.
- “Why can’t you see him for what he is, Lily?” She jumps, as the glass breaks in my hand. Wandlesly, I perform a spell and put it back together. Lowering my voice, I continue. “His childish pranks were never enough for him. Taking you from me was not enough ether. He had to make sure I keep suffering, so he ruined my life and my brother’s.”
- “Severus, don’t say that. He didn’t take me from you. I was always your friend.”
- “Well, I didn’t need your friendship. I loved you. Don’t tell me you didn’t know about it.”
- “Loved me?”
- “From the first day I met you. From the very beginning. Even as a child. I thought there were no other person that could understand me like you did and I loved you with all my heart.”
- “Severus… I’m sorry. I swear to you, I didn’t know about it.”
- “How could you? You were too busy with him.”
- “That’s not fair, you never told me… If I would only know…”
- “It doesn’t matter anymore. James will pay for what he did.”
She looks at me in defeat, as two big tears make their way down her cheeks. I never intended to make her cry. All I wanted is to tell her the truth and now when I finally did… I almost feel bad for her. Almost.
Suddenly, she raises her head up.
- “What if I could pay his debt for him?”
- “You can’t. I’m sorry. There’s nothing you can do to…”
- “What is there is?”
She scoots over to me and puts her hand on my cheek.
- “What if… what if I could give you something that you say he took from you? Will you tell those people to leave him alone?”
- “Lily, what are you saying?”
She leans closer and takes a deep breath, then brushes my lips with hers.
- “I will give you something that you wanted for so long and in return, you will promise to leave us alone and order those people to stop following him.”
Her words come out as a whisper and her fingers make it into my hair, pulling my head closer. Her smell intoxicates me and I can’t help the instant excitement that I feel from a single touch of her hand. I close my eyes.
- “Lily.” Without realizing, I put my hands on her waist and pull her closer. Her gentle touch feels like a dream, dream I never want to wake up from, but as soon as I hear her voice again, the realization of her words dawns on me.
- “We can get a room here if you want.”
So that’s what I am reduced to.
- “Is that’s what you really think of me, as if I am nothing more than a common whore? I’m sorry I ever opened up to you” I whisper as I push her away.
- “No, Severus. It’s not like that, I swear…”
- “It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore. Go, Lily.”
- “Severus, please.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and take a last look at her.
- “I said go. I have no use for Potter’s leftovers.”
As soon as the words are out, she gasps and puts the hand over her mouth. Her eyes fill with tears and she runs out before I can say anything else.
Emotionlessly, I turn back to my glass. Strangely, I can’t feel anything. As if my heart had enough of torture and closed itself to all the pain inflicted on it. As if all the feelings I’ve had before, had been turned off and nothing but emptiness remains.
Pouring some more liquor into my glass, I start thinking about the potion I have to develop for the Dark Lord.
- 9
- 10
- 11
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

ONE LIFE TO LIVE