Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Memories of Deception	By : professorflo Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 20869 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters within. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Memories of Deception
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9.
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-58
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
- 65-65
- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
- 73-73
- 74-74
- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-79
- 80-80
- 81-81
- 82-82
- 83-83
- 84-84
- 85-85
- 86-86
- 87-87
- 88-88
- 89-89
- 90-90
- 91-91
- 92-92
- 93-93
- 94-94
- 95-95
- 96-96
- 97-97
- 98-98
- 99-99
- 100-100
- 101-101
- 102-102
- 103-103
- 104-104
- 105-105
- 106-106
- 107-107
- 108-108
- 109-109
- 110-110
- 111-111
- 112-112
- 113-113
- 114-114
- 115-115
- 116-116
- 117-117
- 118-118
- 119-119
- 120-120
- 121-121
- 122-122
- 123-123
- 124-124
- 125-125
- 126-126
- 127-127
- 128-128
- 129-129
- 130-130
- 100
- 101
- 102
Disclaimer: See Chapter One
The memory slid into place, and Hermione sagged back against the cold stone step for a moment and shut her eyes. The feel of her lips against his was so strong for a second it could have just happened, instead of being weeks ago. Hermione traced her bottom lip absently as she recalled the moments leading up to the kiss she had stolen from him. How he had warned her things would likely get worse, and how he had held her tighter when she had promised him she would always forgive him.
When she'd pulled back from his embrace to see the soft and hopeful expression in his eyes, she'd been unable to stop herself from reaching up and pressing her mouth to his. He'd not known how to respond, his awkwardness endearing him even more to her. The memory had ended with him urging her to lie back against his pillow, and the last thing she could remember was his forlorn expression as she felt the tip of her wand touch her temple.
No time… With a sigh Hermione pulled herself out of her recollections, and reached towards the next phial.
"Because it is necessary, Miss Granger…" The words resounded in her head as she fled. She had nowhere to run, not really, nowhere where she could get away from him, but there was one room that he had never set foot in since she had arrived, where she felt marginally safer than elsewhere. It was there that she went, pushing the kitchen door open and racing across the room, she threw herself into the corner below the sink.
She drew her feet up and wrapped her arms around her legs, her face falling onto her knees. Hot tears pooled on her skin and ran down her legs. "I'll never forgive him… never, never, never…," she whispered to herself. It was a lie and she knew it, but in that moment she needed something to focus her anger on before she exploded.
She'd almost attacked him back in his office, needing to find a vent for the fury that had built while watching her memories. How could he be so calm and unemotional about the whole thing, if in fact he was truly on the same side as her? How could he treat her so badly and it not affect him? She could almost see the dispassionate, almost bored look on his face as he had stood over her and tortured her, the eager way he had forced her legs apart and pushed himself inside her. It all seemed to come too easy to him to be an act.
That's not fair… She'd seen his anguish over what he had done to her, when he had been able to let his guard down. If it was not for Snape's capability to perform the expected role, and deceive both her and ultimately Voldemort, then both he and probably she and her friends would have been dead long ago. Still, after all she had been through in the past few days, the terror of being taken back to Malfoy Manor, the way Snape had made her feel dirty and disgusted with her own needs, especially after his strange gentleness towards her, it felt good to allow herself to feel her rage, after so long keeping it muted for fear of him.
What the hell has he been playing at anyway? She couldn't remember agreeing to let him treat her like that in any of the memories she had just seen. Why had he been so tender with her when Voldemort would be able to see it? Why had he forced her to desire him? But you told him you trusted him to make the best decisions for the both of you… and no one can force someone to desire them. You did that by yourself. And he'd told Voldemort he was having difficulty forcing himself on her. Was she really so unattractive?
Such thoughts swirled around her head for what seemed like hours. How long she sat there she didn't know, but eventually her tears ran out, and the overwhelming anger she'd felt dissipated with them. Feeling drained after her outburst, she propped her chin on her damp knees, now able to think more clearly.
That was how Snape found her a short while later, calmly contemplating the situation they had both found themselves in. Now she had calmed down she was able to rationalise many of the things Snape had done to her, even if the memory of them was still painful. There were still things she wanted to ask, but she wasn't sure how far she could press him for answers, he had seemed even surlier than usual earlier in his office. Better to let him volunteer the information.
Snape stopped in front of her and held out his hand. She looked up, unsure of what he wanted with her. His face was softer than before, in his study, where it had been a frozen mask. Now he was a strange mix of anxious and sad.
"Miss Granger, I have ordered dinner to be served in the library, and once you have eaten we can discuss what you wish to know."
Hermione could have hugged him for the offer. She grabbed his hand, and used it to pull herself up slowly, her muscles aching from being sat in the same position for so long. She took a step towards the dark man, whose face suddenly turned wary at her closeness.
"It's alright, you don't need to explain anything. I understand… you do what you have to do… to protect us both." As much as she'd wanted an explanation only a minute ago, she found that the mere offer of one had taken away her need for it. She did trust him after all.
The look on Snape's face was priceless, and she had to bit her lip from grinning at him. He gaped for a moment before pulling himself together to reply.
"Miss Granger..." His hands came up to rest gently on her upper arms. "I… I need to explain. There are things… I need you to understand."
She could only smile up at him.
A while later Hermione was sitting across from him at his desk, an empty bowl of soup and a few crumbs that were all that was left of a hunk of bread in front of her. She waited impatiently as Snape continued to eat his own soup, and had to make a concerted effort not to watch the graceful way his hands brought the spoon to his mouth. She could feel her cheeks glowing slightly. What is wrong with you? He's just eating soup.
Everything about the man was elegant and so controlled though, it was hard not to find him attractive, despite the fact he was not classically handsome. Hermione thought about the way she had scoffed her own bowl quickly. She'd been surprised at how hungry she was, although perhaps she shouldn't have been, considering he'd not allowed her to eat anything before going to the Malfoy's house. Even that made sense now, even though at the time she'd though he was just denying her for the pleasure of it. She was grateful not to have had anything in her stomach when Voldemort had Crucio'd her. Hermione squirmed uncomfortably in her seat at the remembrance. It had hurt far more than when Snape had cast the same spell on her. Perhaps his wasn't as strong because he struggled with his intent. How had he managed to be resolute enough to cast the killing curse at Dumbledore?
With a small sigh Snape put his spoon down. His bowl was still unfinished. "I can see by your wriggling it is a miracle you have managed to hold back the questions until now." He stood and moved towards the chairs by the fire, motioning for her to do the same. "Ask what you will, and I will do my best to answer."
Hermione settled across from him, taking a moment to find a comfortable position while she thought of how to begin. She decided to go for the least personal questions first.
"The other day… you were injured, what happened to you?"
Snape's demeanour turned cold and angry. "I managed to persuade the Dark Lord that the Carrows were rather over-eager with their punishments, and that the continued loss of students and consequently the disappearance of their families is a serious concern. Alecto and Amycus were rather… resentful of my taking their fun away from them. They meant for me to see that little display in the courtyard, believing that they would get away with it." He looked straight at her for the first time since he had begun talking. "The Dark Lord is unimpressed with my efforts at dealing with your fellow Gryffindors. There is a particular group causing problems, and the Carrows managed to catch the leader trying to break into my office before I could reach him."
"Who was it?" she breathed, half sure she knew already.
"Longbottom."
"Oh Gods, is he ok?"
"He was in a bad way, but I managed to slip him something to deal with the after-effects of the Cruciatus curse when Poppy wasn't looking. He has already recovered and has disappeared back into the Room of Requirement with the rest of his cohorts."
"But how did you end up injured?" she asked, confused.
A couple more students disappeared the next day, as have their families. I brought this to the Dark Lord's attention. The Carrows blamed me for their punishment, and managed to catch me when I was unprepared for an attack. They are both true cowards, unwilling to face me, but happy to use the children to hide behind. I managed to convince them they had been unsuccessful in injuring me, and got back to my rooms without further incident. You know the rest."
Hermione's cheeks burned as she remembered what had happened upon finding him, injured, and from the way Snape's cheeks were colouring so was she. Hermione's gaze was drawn to his lips, in much the same way it had a few nights previous. She wondered what he would do it she ran her fingers across them again right now. How would he respond if she kissed him?
Stupid, Hermione, you know he'd never want such a thing. He's uncomfortable enough with this as it is. She could no longer deny to herself at least, that she was becoming rather attached to the Dark Wizard opposite her. Attached my arse, you fancy the pants off him. Mustn't let on though. He'd probably think there was something wrong with you, after the way he's treated you. He'll think you're some kind of masochist. Besides, what would he want with someone like you? She tried to ignore the tight feeling in her chest.
That train of thought reminded her of her next question. "Later on, after… when you were recovered, you were rather… gentle with me. Why… Aren't you worried about what You-know-will think?
"At the time I found myself… unconcerned…" He couldn't meet her eyes as he replied. "I… The Dark Lord was easily persuaded that it was all part of my plan to… to unbalance you. He still believes that you can be used to find Potter."
Something in his demeanour told her there was more. "What is it? What aren't you telling me?"
Snape shifted uncomfortably and she knew she was right. "You heard something you were not supposed to hear during a conversation with the Dark Lord. He wishes you turned to his cause."
"What?!" she screeched, jumping up out of her chair. "You agreed to this? And what about my blood status? I'm a mudblood, if you hadn't remembered." She wrenched her sleeve back and shoved it the scarred skin under his nose.
Snape stood quickly, gently pressing her arm down until it hung at her side. He loomed over her. "Do you really think I could refuse the Dark Lord?" he asked with a sneer. "He was impressed by your power, and has heard much from Lucius and others about you intelligence. He knows Potter would have got nowhere without you. If he chose to acknowledge you, everyone would be forced to follow."
"But…why? Why don't I remember this? " She pressed her hands to his chest.
"I was forced to remove the memory, permanently I'm afraid."
"You… why couldn't you have saved it like the others."
"The memory itself was unimportant, and my own memory of taking yours was… useful. It is difficult to construct memories to show him, this is the whole point of performing this whole charade. Anything I can use to show him of my compliance with him wishes I will take without question." He moved his hands to her upper arms and squeezed gently. "Maintaining our cover is my first concern. You must trust me to find a way to make sure your loyalties are not forced to him." He leaned in closer, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. "I promise he will not have you."
Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him. "But if he wants…"
"I will find some way around it. I will make you mine, bind you to me if I must."
Hermione felt a wave of desire rush through her at his words, although rationally she knew he only was talking about protecting her. He was so close now that she was having difficulty breathing properly. It wouldn't have taken much for her to reach up and press her lips to his.
"And what you told him, about me… that I looked…" She swallowed her next words, afraid to ask if he had meant what he had said about desiring her. "What reasons did you give him… for your plan?"
"That I was trying to keep you off-balance and unsure of my behaviour, to encourage you to please me and improve your own situation." His gaze flicked down to her lips for a second. "I convinced him that you are… attracted to me, that I can exploit your feelings and persuade you to join him."
The heat coursing through her suddenly abated and she shivered. His behaviour… just a ruse to con Voldemort. She was right, he felt nothing for her. Even now he was only trying to comfort her. Thinking back over the memories she had seen a short while ago, it wasn't the first time he had held her in an attempt to reassure her.
She stepped back, turning her face away, suddenly desperate to be out of his reach and missing the flash of disappointment that crossed his face. Her heart felt heavy in her chest and she wanted nothing more than to be alone. By the time she looked back his expression was blank once more.
"I think I'd like to get on with my work now, please."
He blinked in surprise, obviously expecting more questions, but recovered quickly. "Of course. Your books and notes are in here." He crossed the room, pulling open a cupboard that she had not noticed before and used his wand to send a pile of tomes and parchment across to the desk.
"Is there anything else you require, Miss Granger?" He spoke coolly.
"I… I don't think so."
"Very well. If you require me I will be in my office. Please do not forget to ask if you need access to a any books that are dangerous or warded." He swept from the room.
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, before walking to the desk and settling down in the chair. She knew she had much to do, but his words kept swirling around in her head, and it was a long time before she could concentrate on the work in front of her.
- 100
- 101
- 102
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Memories of Deception