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Torment Completed	By : Kvarta Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 31713 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.

Chapter List
- 101
- 102
- 103
A/N: I do apologize for this delay. Sadly, until the end of this year, I can’t promise scheduled chapters, my work + my Master studies don’t leave me too much room for writing. I hope you understand and thank you for your patience <3
Hermione’s eye caught the movement and her hand twitched, she was walking down the long corridor with Caleb and Deidre. Caleb chuckled, shaking his head.
“It is fine, I won’t do anything- rash.” she mumbled with annoyance.
“Oh, I am not concerned.” Caleb said.
“And yet you are here, escorting me.” She huffed.
“If you managed to forget we were in Library together.” Calen chuckled again.
“And it is safer to walk in groups.” chimed in Deidre.
She didn‘t reply, it was safer to go in groups these days, and they often did. Along the walls, portrait inhabitants scurried to move out the frames as she walked by. At least that gave her a small amount of satisfaction.
“Hermione!” came a call behind her back and they stopped. She turned to greet Neville.
“Professor,” replied Caleb and Deidre and pulled few paces back.
“Neville.” she gave him a tight smile.
“Hey, Hermione, when are you leaving?” Neville said, his face battling with few different emotions at the same time.
“Why are you so convinced that I’m going?” she raised an eyebrow, suddenly ticked off. She was leaving and that wasn’t the point, she could even choose where to go, Molly sent her invitation to spend holidays at the Burrow. She already refused politely. All she wanted for weeks was to be back at the Manor, it had to be a new form of madness. Nevertheless, Neville’s question still hurt. Are they all so keen to see my back?
“Because Snape is all you talked in these past months, I know you well enough to know that you won’t miss the chance.” Neville smiled at her. “Come, I’ll escort all of you to your dorms, you’ll be safer with me, now that Luna had to go early.”
“If you want to protect someone, first and second year Slytherins could benefit from your generosity...” Hermione smirked at him.
“Hermione--”
“Oh, so you are not escorting us, you are making sure that I’m gone.” she rolled her eyes.
“Hermione--”
“You know, there wouldn’t be any need for your protection Professor if you didn’t ban me from using magic outside the class.” she narrowed her eyes.
“You tried to destroy school property, you were lucky.” Neville started and she huffed.
“Nonsense, I am not dangerous.”
“Hermione,” Neville sounded serious. “You are my friend, if I could choose a sister it would be you, but… I do remember Marietta and Rita, you can be scary if someone is on your way. I also remember S.P.E.W.- you can be blind to all others when you have a goal.”
“Fine, so I climbed the ladder, I’m not Undesirable No3 anymore I jumped to Undesirable No1. Maybe someone should notify Harry.” Hermione frowned. “It is not like I’m at war with portraits you know?”
“You tried to burn the portrait of Mediwitch Patricia, you threatened Dumbledore’ portrait with turpentine, in front of McGonagall.” Neville said.
“Well, one would presume that students can be safe in school, at least now. The excuse of portraits being semi-sentient entities gives me full right to defend myself!” Hermione raised her voice.
“Patricia didn’t endanger you, Hermione--”
“She followed me around, she spied on me. I don’t know what deluded family believed that I’ll succumb to that archaic law and marry someone solely based on my magical powers index.”
“There is more to that than just…” Neville started to explain but she cut him off.
“I. Don’t. Care. If, if I ever marry it will be from love. It will be on my terms, not because someone decided that I’m suitable breeding mare based on my magical strength.” Hermione hissed, angry at the unknown family.
“And what if you wouldn’t object to the family or potential groom in question? What if you actually diminished your chances?”
“Bwah, There is no one I’d even consider.” she huffed. At least no one that would consider me back.
“How can you be so sure?” Neville tilted his head.
“First of all…” She narrowed her eyes then stopped, realising suddenly. “You know who it is.”
“I do, and no I won’t tell you. Not because I’m forbidden, which I am as well- but because you are so stubborn. If you want to find out, you’ll have to learn to ask questions before hexing.” Neville’s voice was sharp, but he was talking to her as her friend.
Hermione’s eyes widened. Neville did look a bit angry at her. She wasn’t too concerned that teacher is angry at her, but it did hurt that her dear friend is.
Neville sighed. “Now, allow me to escort you, it really isn’t smart to let you roam around the castle so defenceless.”

The train rocked with the clickety-clack, meadows and forests exchanging fast. Hermione looked through the window, not seeing, not really. She made some decisions, and she hoped that Severus will go along with her plan. Matron certainly approved. The fear gripped her heart but she just had to know, she was ready to take that risk. Draco’s letters gave her hope that Severus was finally on the good road to recovery.
Maybe I was the one preventing his recovery all that time.
At that thought, her heart fluttered painfully. Well, at least after this holiday she’ll...
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Severus groaned. Why is this wretched creature still here? He glared, none too friendly at the woman seated across him.
“Isn’t your time to go?” He asked.
“Our session is almost over. I just wanted to make sure how are you feeling in regard to Miss Granger’s return? She is arriving today…” the woman smiled bleakly at him, her brown eyes closed off and unreadable.
“Same as I did before, I have no particular feelings towards her return, one way or the other. She’s a nuisance, a necessary evil, much like you.” he grumbled, and woman scribbled something in her notes.
“I don’t think you are completely honest with yourself Mr Prince, you do have feelings towards her.”
“Shall I name them for you?” he hissed “Annoyance, animosity, irritation,...”
“And yet you tolerate her by your side.” the women's professional smile never faded.
“I tolerate you as well. Come to think of it, the two of you both have something in common-you both have uncanny desire to root around my head.”
“We talked about this, I couldn’t care less about your head, there is nothing wrong with it. I do, however, care about your feelings.” She replied mildly. “But I will end our session here today. We will continue after the holidays.”
“Yes. Well, do feel free not to return.” He grumbled and glanced at Hades, he was sleeping on the perch, head under the wing. Traitor.
Draco barged into the room, he was huffing like a Hogwarts Express. “Thank you Madam Rutledge and happy holidays, please give our best wishes to your family.”
“I will Draco, and you give mine to your family and to Astoria.” The woman smiled.
Severus was already on his feet, gazing into the snow-covered garden. All he wanted was to be alone. He needed time to collect himself, to prepare himself for her return. He did everything humanly or wizardly possible to reach the point where he won’t need her anymore. Where Hermione would be free to walk away.
Over the past months, he continued his therapy, gaining more and more strength. And even if he still walked with the cane, he didn’t need it unless he was going for long walks. Placing a hand in the pocket of the house robe he curled the fingers around his wand. Even his magic started to return, slowly but it was there, stronger every day.
“Severus,” the woman called and he grunted not turning to look at her. “Send me a note if holidays turn out to be too much for you. I’d hate to see the progress we made destroyed.”
“I will not. Not to worry, doctor, I’ll have no time to feel lonely or to regress, regrettably.”
“This way Madam Rutledge, I’ll see you out.” offered Draco, and he sighed in relief when the door closed behind them.
He even accepted the offer from Astoria and St. Mungo's to see a Muggle head doctor, a psychiatrist no less. He did think that Lucius will put the damper on that insane idea, but his friend chose to allow the woman to come to his home three times a week, Lucius himself would be locked in his study. If anything Severus wasn’t suicidal anymore. The doctor was a wife of a wizard, and she was good at her job, leading him to make peace with some more gruesome moments from his past. That, however, still didn’t make him more pleasant.
Joke on all who thought that it might.
Oddly, the doctor didn’t mind his jabs and barbs. She accepted his nature and his gruffness, something that annoyed him to no end. It was a rough road, but they did muddle through.
His Dream Lady didn’t return after that dream. That, however, didn’t mean that he didn’t dream. His dreams usually forced him to jump out of the bed, in the middle of the night- aroused and disgusted with himself, terrified with the prospect of future. Fear was something new, not the paralyzing one, accompanied by the adrenaline of survival instinct. No, this was a new kind of fear, normal as the doctor would call it. He hated it.
It was one thing to admit his own madness and lack of any semblance of decency and reason. After all, without his occlumency walls, he was defenceless against his own pesky feelings. Still, the fact that he was willing to face the truth, didn’t mean that he was willing to act on it.
No, that won’t do. I have to get rid of her. Soon. Fast. Before…
He shook his head. The door opened again.
“Severus, would you mind returning to bed?” Draco still sounded like he was running a marathon.
“I prefer to stand.” he said.
“Yes, I know...Uh, you see, I sort off skipped writing about that to Bucktooth and…”
“And that is not my problem, Draco.” He glanced over the shoulder at Draco. The boy looked ready to burst. What is up with him? “Would you mind telling me what is wrong?”
“I can’t believe I’ll say this, but I am glad to see her back.” Mumbled Draco.
Severus raised an eyebrow, intrigued. Draco huffed. “Now, don’t get any ideas. While she’s here I’ll have more free time. I am not created and raised to be anybody’s errand boy.”
Severus smirked. He did give Draco a run for his money. He still loved the boy, he would still protect the boy. That didn’t mean that he would go easy on Draco. On anyone, considering… Half groan, a half growl escaped his lips.
“Potter will be here more than he was in these past months…” He suddenly realised.
“Yes, I think so. She is his friend after all.” Draco nodded.
“Funny, I’d say the two of you became rather good friends.” Severus said he’d seen Potter more than he cared for as of lately.
“Well, it is smart to be friend with the Chosen one, same way it is smart to have Granger in the home and to have Dr Rutledge here. Positive publicity and all.” Draco shrugged.
“Yes. Well, do try not to sound like your father too much.”
Elf popped in. “Missy Hermione is here.” Misty announced, she also looked more flustered than annoyed. Hades gave a happy squawk. I’m surrounded by traitors.
They could hear the voices and Narcissa’s laughter from the hallway, before the door opened once more. Severus turned to glare at her. “You returned.” But even if his voice sounded dry and ruff, his eyes took an image of her. Hair sticking in all direction, skin rosy from the cold, lips slightly parted in surprise, eyes wide in wonder. She stood there, looking at him, her body twitching as if she was battling to keep it in place. Hades screeched and flew to land on her shoulder.
“It is nice to see you, Severus.” she sounded a bit breathless. “Hello, Hades. I brought you some treats. You didn’t tell me.” the last remark was harsh and directed to Draco.
“Surprise, and you welcome.” Draco smirked, moving towards the door. “Will you move, I have to get ready, Astoria is waiting for me.”
“Draco!” Narcissa sharply called her son, and then spoke in much softer tones. “I’ll see you bot at dinner. We dine at the dining room again, Severus will show you the way.”
“Well, Hermione you may close your mouth unless you wish to catch flies, eh?” he smirked.
“You, you look much better…” she finally said to him, turning to place her things on the sofa.
“You have your own room, no need to....” he started.
“I’ll stay here if it’s all the same to you. Besides, Malfoy Manor isn’t the place I’d choose to have my room.” Hermione replied coldly, turning to him. “You do look better, healthier....” she paused, taking a breath and he frowned. “I have a gift of sorts for you, and a blessing…”
“We had this conversation before, I do not need nor wish gifts, and I most certainly do not provide ones in return.”
“Oh, I think you’d want this one.” She smirked at him handing him a roll of parchment.
He made a few paces and took the paper, reading it. His heart accelerated. It was approval from Poppy and St Mungo’s- Freedom.
“So, when did you plan to… Provided that I do allow you to…” he said, not finishing his thoughts partially to throw her off balance, and partially to hide his own excitement.
“In fact, I can do it now. Do you want to?” she smiled at him.
“Do I want you out of my head?” He asked raising an eyebrow. “What do you think?”
“Very well. Please, sit down.” Hermione pointed at the sofa and he sat, just as well, his legs would give out anyway. He could finally dream freely, think and feel freely without danger of her knowing it. This was one way out he didn’t count on or anticipated, he welcomed it nonetheless.
She sat across him, taking her wand out. “Clear….” she started and stopped when he gave her his patented glare. “Right, you know. Just tell me when you are ready.”
“You may proceed. But, if you…” he hissed, his heart ticking in the throat.
“Yes, I know. You’ll hex me into last year.” she rolled her eyes.
“Out. Of. The. Existence. Last year your presence already plagued me.” he scoffed.
“Right.” She sighed.
Severus took a deep breath to clear his mind. Her face was too close for his liking. He allowed her to lock her eyes with his and slip in his mind. Her presence was familiar, soft, unobtrusive. His palms slickened, his heart drummed in his ears.
“Do you need any guidance?” he asked more to distract himself than anything else.
“No, thank you.”
He felt a small pressure, like a pebble in his mind, not sharp and rough but soft. He could feel her, she was confident in what she was doing. She also felt like a ray of light or summer breeze. Severus doubled his effort to suppress the images that her presence threatened to draw up. He could feel her pulling back.
Severus blinked.
She was looking at him smiling shyly. “Happy Holidays, Severus.” she whispered, her voice sounding a bit shaky.
He checked the feeling in his head. The link was gone. Surprisingly, or maybe not so much, emptiness was almost terrifying. The lack of her presence left an odd sense of coldness. He cleared his throat.
“Good riddance.” He mumbled dryly, not wanting to show any sign of weakness.
Her eyes darkened, a shine of weakness drew over them. Hermione swallowed and nodded. “Well, I’ll be on my way then…” she stood up fast, picking up her purse.
“And where do you think you’re going?” he asked sharply. The nerve of her.
“You…” her voice snapped and she let her chin fall to her chest. “You are finally free of me. Draco told me about your progress and now that mess is taken care off… Technically, you do not need my help…”
It was painful to see her like that, looking like a ball of fur thrown out on the cold, sad. She moved fast towards the door. His insides tighten. Let her go you, idiot.
“Correct me if I’m mistaken, Hermione, but you do not have anywhere to go.” his voice cracked like a whip in the room.
“Well, I can still tell Molly that I changed my mind.” she didn’t turn.
“Yes, well, do give my warm regards to Ronald Weasley then.” he quipped, anger rising like a sturdy wall inside him. That stopped her, she glanced at him, her eyes full of helpless anger.
“What do you want? I gave you what you wanted, you are free of me. No more unwanted bonds, no more need to suffer my presence, mo more me. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Even if she was whispering it sounded like she’s yelling at him.
The wall of anger slammed at him with full force. Who does she think she is. I should just turn around, it is what I want after all. It is so much safer to let her leave. However, his mind somehow lost connection to his brain. What came out of his mouth surprised him as much as it shocked her.
“Actions do have consequences, Hermione. Or may I remind you that you are still in the capacity of my secretary? Not to mention that this,” He levitated the parchment she gave him into her hands. “Gives you permission to break the link, not to abandon your post as my nurse.”
“I don’t understand you. I thought that you would welcome the opportunity to see me gone.” She shook her head in disbelief.
“And I would. However, I am in need of the secretary tomorrow evening.” he hissed. “You and you alone are to blame for my present state. You are the one that is in fault for the fact that tomorrow I have to make my appearances at the Malfoy Ball. So if I have to suffer, so will you.”
“So, you want me gone after the ball tomorrow?” she asked.
“No. I want you gone when Poppy gives her blessing, and not a moment sooner. I am done with taking the blame for the actions of others. Taking a scolding in others name. You made your own bed, now- you will bloody stay in it until the end.”
“Are you telling me that you don’t want me to leave?” Hermione asked again, her voice vibrating, muscles on her face twitching, fighting the expression of hope.
Severus sighed, stealing his voice he shaped his face into a disgruntled mask. “I’m telling you that I do want you gone when I’m certain that no one will blame me for your departure. Now, rest a bit, Narcissa expect us for dinner at six. And you’ll have to look proper.”
Everything in his head screamed at him, this was pure madness. He heard the sound, muffled squeal accompanied by the loud and rather happy screech from Hades. Severus walked to the armchair and sat picking up the book, not looking at the girl, but also not reading. Emptiness in his head terrified him. Holidays were always hard for him, he didn’t want to stay alone.
Freedom was welcomed. The pressing emptiness, that cold hand squeezing at his chest at the thought of her gone, that wasn’t- welcome, but it was there. He will find the way to separate himself from her, or at least to keep her at the arm’s length. He wasn’t ready to see her leave. The good doctor left too many wounds open, still bleeding and he couldn’t deal with...Not yet at any rate.
You spineless wanker. He thought bitterly.
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Torment *Completed*

Torment Completed