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Memories of Deception	By : professorflo Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 20868 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters within. I make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Memories of Deception
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9.
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 29-29
- 30-30
- 31-31
- 32-32
- 33-33
- 34-34
- 35-35
- 36-36
- 37-37
- 38-38
- 39-39
- 40-40
- 41-41
- 42-42
- 43-43
- 44-44
- 45-45
- 46-46
- 47-47
- 48-48
- 49-49
- 50-50
- 51-51
- 52-52
- 53-53
- 54-54
- 55-55
- 56-56
- 57-57
- 58-58
- 59-59
- 60-60
- 61-61
- 62-62
- 63-63
- 64-64
- 65-65
- 66-66
- 67-67
- 68-68
- 69-69
- 70-70
- 71-71
- 72-72
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- 75-75
- 76-76
- 77-77
- 78-78
- 79-79
- 80-80
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- 86-86
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- 90-90
- 91-91
- 92-92
- 93-93
- 94-94
- 95-95
- 96-96
- 97-97
- 98-98
- 99-99
- 100-100
- 101-101
- 102-102
- 103-103
- 104-104
- 105-105
- 106-106
- 107-107
- 108-108
- 109-109
- 110-110
- 111-111
- 112-112
- 113-113
- 114-114
- 115-115
- 116-116
- 117-117
- 118-118
- 119-119
- 120-120
- 121-121
- 122-122
- 123-123
- 124-124
- 125-125
- 126-126
- 127-127
- 128-128
- 129-129
- 130-130
- 103
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- 105
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
So here we come to the last of her memories. Are you ready for what comes next?
(Memories from 61-70)
She'd been lost in the pile of books and notes she'd amassed for her research, when McGonagall had stormed on hot on the heels of Snape, demanding answers over the rumour that he was holding a student in his chambers. Hermione found herself wanting to protect Snape from McGonagall's insinuations that he had been abusing her. The panic that consumed her when McGonagall insisted on her release surprised her, and she knew she could never leave him, not when his life would be forfeit.
Snape had given her the option to go, but instead she asked McGonagall to lower her wand and let them explain. She refused, and when she'd tried to hex Snape, Hermione didn't give a second thought to jumping in front of the spell. She would have done it a million times for the affectionate look on Snape's face as he'd held out his hand to her.
His heartfelt apology after she had come-to had warmed her heart further, and she'd held the quiet moment they'd shared close to her heart until the memory had been removed. It seemed to her that he had been more honest with his feelings in that instant than he had been since the night she had arrived. She'd forgotten McGonagall was even in the room until Dumbledore's portrait had spoken up.
Dumbledore's support of Snape, more than anything either of them had said, had probably been the deciding factor in McGonagall believing their explanation. The mixture of anger and sympathy in her eyes as the whole story unfolded comforted Hermione somehow. To have someone else who understood what Snape had been through, someone in a better position than she to protest his innocence, if that time ever came, relieved her greatly. She hadn't realised how much the situation had been weighing on her until some of the pressure had lifted. She could have danced a jig, but from the look on Snape's face he was less than happy at having his true allegiance revealed, although he had been unable to completely hide his delight when she had taken Dumbledore to task.
Hermione couldn't help but notice the way that McGonagall carefully watched the two of them, and she was pretty sure the old Professor had guessed that there was something going on between the two of them. Hermione only wished she knew herself exactly what that thing was, and every time she had realised the conversation was heading in that direction she had tried to subtly steer it away.
When McGonagall had asked to speak to her privately, Hermione had been pretty sure she knew she was going to be grilled over their relationship, and had fretted over just how much to reveal, knowing there was no way McGonagall would approve. By comparison, the first subject she had been questioned about, the horcruxes, had seemed a far easier topic to discuss.
Hermione had managed to keep Harry's inclusion on her list of possible horcruxes a secret from her professor, although she knew McGonagall could tell there was more. She'd always been a bad liar. She was, however, more than grateful for the help she was going to get, especially in terms of searching the castle for a possible horcrux. She was so sure there was one at Hogwarts.
And then what she had dreaded most since McGonagall had discovered her had happened… the older witch had asked her about her relationship with Snape. She'd tried to give her a toned down version of what had happened, but she'd felt uncomfortable under McGonagall's suspicious gaze, and had let slip more than she'd wanted, especially as she could also feel Snape watching her as if wondering if she was denouncing him to his staff.
Of course McGonagall had seen through the wool she'd been trying to pull over her eyes, and had asked for the whole truth, although Hermione had been pleasantly surprised when the professor had told her she'd never seen Snape more concerned about anyone than her when she'd been unconscious, and had been unable to stop the tears coming to her eyes.
The relief she'd felt at another person knowing about Snape's true loyalty had been nothing compared to how she felt when she finally decided to confess to McGonagall. She'd begun haltingly at first, but after a while the words had begun to pour out of her, all the hurt, the physical agony, although she'd been unable to talk about the emotion pain or her own growing feelings for the headmaster. It had become easier and easier to speak at time went on, though she could tell by the way McGonagall's fingernails had dug into the arms of the chair that it had been as hard to hear as it was to speak about. Hermione didn't think McGonagall would have been able to stop herself flying off the handle at Snape had she known the full extent of the physiological games he had played with her as well.
She'd obviously been far less successful than she'd thought at hiding her emotions, or perhaps McGonagall was a master of reading between the lines, for she had easily manipulated Hermione into confessing her feelings for Snape, although she'd struggled to define exactly what they were. Her professor had made it clear that she didn't approve of their budding relationship, and that it wouldn't last once the war was over. She as much told Hermione to give up the idea now, before she got herself hurt. Hermione didn't tell her it was far too late for that already.
Snape's reticence had frustrated and upset her when she'd tried to speak with him while McGonagall conferred quietly with Dumbledore. It was as if he was trying to make up for his earlier openness with her by being even more icy and unapproachable than usual. Was he worried about what she had said? Whatever the reason was, Hermione was not happy with the way their conversation had been left unresolved earlier and decided to take the opportunity to continue it when an opening came.
She'd been left to her own devices for a while as the two professors had retreated behind a silencing charm to talk. She'd pulled a book out of the pile to read, but most of her attention had been on Snape, who was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation he was having. After a much shorter time than she'd had expected Snape stood, making it look like the conversation had come to an end, but then McGonagall had climbed to her feet and spoken again. Whatever they'd been discussing had made his face darken, and soon it was a blank mask.
Hermione had dropped her eyes back down to the book on her lap as their conversation ended. McGonagall had given her a quick goodbye and then they had both stepped out of the office to use the time turner. When Snape returned in what was five minutes to her, but hours to him, he was elated, having used the rumour McGonagall had overheard to force the Carrows to back off. But within minutes she saw his walls going up again and she was once again shut out and in the cold.
Snape hadn't spoken to her until much later that evening when it had been time to arrange where they were sleeping. She'd tried to convince him to share a bed with her, but he'd outright refused, which had hurt her more than she'd been able to understand. The next morning she'd managed to get him to take her to the school library to see if there was anything new she could find there. The trip had gone well up until the moment they had come within sight of the phoenix statue that guarded Snape's office.
The Carrows had clearly been up to something, and had created the diversion in the kitchens as an excuse, but Snape's quickly taken command of the situation. He had mocked and taunted them, and Hermione had automatically protected him with a shield charm when the sister had let her temper get the better of her. It had felt like second nature to slip her hand into his as they made their way back to his study after that.
The realisation that the twins had been after her rather than something to do with Snape had scared her, but Snape hadn't seemed to be in the mood to comfort her, instead informing her to do any reading she wanted quickly, as they had to go to bed early that evening.
She'd managed to persuade him to share the bed with her that night. He had put on an act of reluctance but she could see the relief in his eyes. He'd been unable to keep her from noticing that he was sore and stiff after a night in a chair, and really it hadn't taken much to convince him to sleep next to her. She'd hoped to talk to him before sleeping but he'd taken ages to prepare for bed, and when he had finally got in, had shied away from her and rolled over to face away, clearly unwilling to discuss anything. She'd tried to muffle her crying, his dismissal of her having hurt badly but she was sure he could hear her and was choosing to ignore her. That thought just made her sob harder. He clearly was not interested in her, and all her earlier suppositions had been incorrect.
She had felt tired and drained of energy the next morning, her eyes bleary and sore from crying. Snape was even more cold and distant than he had been before. She was weary of wanting him, McGonagall words of warning rang in her ears, and she was sure that there was, in fact, someone else that he was hiding his attachment to. Standing close to him in order for him to wrap the chain of the time turner around them both had been pure torture, and she could barely stand to look at him. When she was in bed and he came to sit beside her she could tell he wished to be elsewhere. This time, when it came, she was more than ready to be obliviated.
- 103
- 104
- 105
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Memories of Deception