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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 105
- 106
- 107
Direct quotes from Chapter 11 of DH are copyright J.K. Rowling

Chapter 106: The Formulation

As Snape had watched Lupin sleep, he had soon drifted into his own dreamless oblivion. The sun was high in the sky when he awoke to Lupin watching him instead.

"Good afternoon, Severus," murmured Lupin softly, drawing the backs of his fingers down his cheek.

"Afternoon? Already?" Snape stretched out like a cat, more relaxed than he had been for months.

"We slept the morning away." Lupin smiled gently. "I certainly needed it."

"So did I," Snape nodded as he sat up. Lupin leant over and picked up the twin photograph frame from Snape's bedside cabinet.

"Oh Severus," murmured Lupin, looking between the pictures of himself and Lily and then he looked back at Snape, his eyes full of compassion. "You've borne so much on your own."

Snape's chest constricted. He found it hard to breathe having Lupin's love so unconditionally once more and, as Lupin replaced the photograph frame, Snape leant forward and kissed Lupin gently, receiving the sweetest smile in return.

The spell of the moment was broken as Tippy clattered into the bedroom with a tray of tea and served it to the two amused men.

"Tippy shall run a bath, yes?" she said, wrinkling her nose melodramatically, with a pointed look at Lupin.

Lupin snorted softly as Snape raised an eyebrow at her cheek. She was unrepentant and held her beribboned head higher.

"The bath will be ready in five minutes. Tippy will have breakfast ready afterwards." Tippy smiled, more impishly than elfishly, in Snape's opinion.

"I think my personal hygiene may be more lacking than a house-elf can bear," laughed Lupin as Tippy left the room, impervious to Snape's glare.

"You've been more fragrant, it's true" scoffed Snape, although the thick masculine odour surrounding Lupin just made his presence in Snape's bed – in his life – once more all the more real. Snape found he didn't mind and kissed Lupin's shoulder lightly. Lupin smiled and kissed Snape back. "Where have you been?"

Lupin exhaled heavily and Snape held Lupin's hand to encourage him to speak. Snape wanted to know everything – there were to be no more secrets between them. Besides which, he wanted every detail of Tonks's treachery – 'know thine enemy,' as the Muggles would say.

"I left Dora over a week ago. It had all been building up. The werewolf restrictions came in because of Greyback's targeting of children." Lupin gulped. "As if I weren't ashamed of what I am already ... of creating another werewolf, even without violence." Snape squeezed Lupin's hand again and received a small sad smile. "Ted asked Dora and me to move in with them – he thought it would be safety in numbers – and of course I could get no work. It won't be long before Dora will have to leave the Auror office. So I agreed so Dora would have her parents – some security. Even then, I knew I couldn't stay.

"Then - after Little Whinging and our duel – knowing that you were true, every day more of my memories were coming back to me and I knew the marriage was sham, I became more and more aware of what had been done to me and yet I didn't dare leave ... I didn't know what was real and what were lies ..." Lupin sighed again.

"Then the Ministry fell, most of the Order members' houses were raided – all their Fidelius Charms broken by Ministry officials or Death Eaters with Ministry sanction. Dora and I were at Bill and Fleur's wedding at the Burrow – we were all interrogated by Death Eaters – all they wanted was Harry."

"He got away though, with Weasley and Granger. The Dark Lord was furious. Were you hurt?" interrupted Snape.

"They were ... enthusiastic, shall we say. A few of us were put under the Cruciatus ..."

"No!" Snape sat up straighter, his hands flying to Lupin's arms as if they would find traces of the curse still present.

"Don't worry – not for long. There were so many people at the Burrow who hadn't managed to Disapparate before the Death Eaters came, they would have been outnumbered if they'd gone too far. But those in their own homes suffered more. Bellatrix and Rodolphus interrogated Andromeda and Ted with the Cruciatus. She hurt them, but they were more upset that she vowed she would kill Dora for the shame brought on the family by marrying me. It would be funny if it weren't so hurtful."

"You can't care what Bellatrix thinks ..."

"No, you misunderstand, Severus. It's what Andromeda thinks as well ..."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Andromeda thinks exactly the same as Bellatrix. She hates me. She must have told me a thousand times that I'm not a fit person to bring a child into the world. Merlin, Andromeda has made sure she lets me know exactly what she and Ted think of my 'defiling' her daughter with a potential werewolf. She rants about the Lydiard Curse being responsible for my being in their lives – ruining their daughter – who can never now be clean."

"Oh? And what of David?" fumed Snape. "Has he been expunged from history?"

"Just further proof of the Curse, as far as she's concerned. She said she was pleased he had died – had hoped that was the end of it – but then, she said I had sniffed Dora out."

"How dare she? Her daughter pursued you! Positively stalked you!"

Lupin's chest heaved with a sigh of misery.

"And then Harry's birthday party proved it! We had to flee like thieves in the night because a Ministry official was there – we had to run away because I am a werewolf. When we returned home ... home!" Lupin snorted. "That ... woman!"

"Show me," said Snape, when he realised Lupin could barely speak because he was so angry. Lupin nodded and Snape cast -

Legilimens!

Andromeda stood, as beautiful as Bellatrix had once been and, as far as Lupin was concerned, as cold as Narcissa, her eyes narrowing as she glared at Lupin.

"So that's to be our daughter's life from now on, is it? A scion of the House of Black: running from those who used to respect her?" She pointed at Tonks's stomach. "This child would be a thousand times better off without you. Isn't it bad enough that Nymphadora is a half-blood and a shape-shifter? We've come to terms with that. But a werewolf?" she said, a sneer marring her fine features. "A werewolf as a husband and father. It's a disgrace."

"Dromeda!" Ted said, clearly upset by his wife's speech. She was unmoved, even as her daughter growled angrily that her mother had no right – none at all to speak to her husband that way.

Ted is decent, but he really doesn't understand, does he? Lupin thought to Snape. A Muggle-born with their romantic notions of the Noble Savage. Muggle-borns think a werewolf is as free in the Wizarding society as a wizard. They don't understand that a werewolf isn't even considered human. A werewolf isn't human under Wizarding law. We're beasts. Dark creatures. Our evidence is less reliable than a child in a legal case. The worst Death Easter would be believed before a werewolf.

"No, Nymphadora! It is you and your half-breed who have no right!" Andromeda said scornfully. "No right at all."

Tonks began to cry but it was Ted who moved to comfort her. Lupin stood at the door, and Snape felt Lupin's feelings: the object of scorn and hatred, feeling shame scald under his skin. It was every nightmare Lupin had ever had. He was dirt. He was foul. He was disgusting. He had ruined her life. He had sullied his unborn child.

He was a predator.

"You would do that by-blow a favour if you died," hissed Andromeda. Even as Snape's anger boiled inside him, somehow Lupin soothed him in his mind.

Ah, Severus. Lupin's inner voice was sad and weary and yet Snape felt his love too. You would never have let me listen to that, I know. You would have protected me from it. When we talked of our child, our son John, I took your strength and belief in me for granted. Never once did I doubt that you and I would be good parents to our child - that my Lycanthropy would be bearable as long as I had you on my side.

I would have hexed her mouth shut, Snape fumed. Perhaps permanently. Blacks are nothing but pureblood bile and prejudice. She is like her putrid aunt! I thought Andromeda was different. I assumed because she married a Muggle-born that she was different.

I think we all assumed the same ... Lupin sighed inwardly. With all the darkness, the uncertainty, wouldn't my absence from my child's life be only a good thing? After that, it didn't take much to convince myself that leaving Dora and the child was the very best I could do for everyone. She had what she wanted. And I left. Left her to what she wanted even though she cried out after me. Left, like a craven coward. Even in Lupin's own mind, his voice became small and shamed. You must be so ashamed of me.

No! You didn't want it – the marriage – the child. Why should you stay? Why should she trick you and you feel obliged to stay?"

Because I am responsible, and the child is my responsibility – and I shouldn't have run.

Snape hated the feeling of the self-disgust and shame Lupin felt. He wanted to scrub it from Lupin's mind. But he also felt Lupin's love for him, the reassurance that Lupin took from Snape's love and how it fortified him, and it made Snape surer than ever that to be parted would be the very worst thing for both of them.

So I left, Lupin continued. Andromeda ridiculing me as I shut the front door ...

Snape saw Lupin leave the house in the leafy suburb of Barnes, seeing, as Lupin saw with his heightened night vision, a masked Death Eater in the shadows watching the house.

You see him? Who is it?

It's Rodolphus. I dare say he's doing his wife's dirty work. Where did you go?

At first, I wasn't sure where to go. I made sure, however, the Death Eater – Rodolphus – followed me. At least I could get him away from their house.

Snape left Lupin's mind quickly in surprise.

"Why should you care?" he challenged. Lupin looked startled at the rapid withdrawal from his mind.

"Why would I give Bellatrix what she wants? Why should I allow her or her vile husband anywhere near my child – even if he is ... is a werewolf?"

Snape placed a placating hand on Lupin's arm. He would not add to the opprobrium that Lupin had had to bear. He had to tread carefully. They had only just been reunited and Snape didn't want to risk that by challenging Lupin too roughly.

"I didn't mean anything against the child." Snape stroked Lupin's face gently, tucking his hair behind his ear. "I was just surprised after what had been said to you. You know I don't have your patience." Lupin leant against Snape and Snape rubbed his cheek against Lupin's hair, slowly understanding the damage to Lupin's self-esteem was so much more extensive than Snape had realised.

A break, some relaxation – that's what Lupin needed and Snape led Lupin to the bathroom. They bathed together, saying very little, but cleansing each other carefully and lovingly. It was almost ritualistic in its thoroughness and care – as if washing away their transgressions against each other. Then they lay in the water together, reheated by a Charm.

Lupin pressed a lock of Snape's hair to his nose.

"I love the way your hair smells after a bath, Severus. Before your potions get to it. Is that coconut? There's more to it than that though."

Snape smiled. "The base of it is lauric acid – coconut oil. And cloves." Snape brushed Lupin's cheek, not wanting to say that he smelt like Amortentia but he kissed him just the same for the sorely-needed affirmation of what he seen in the Pensieve.

Snape wanted to deepen the kiss, but his instinct told him not to push too far. He felt a twinge of frustration. Seeing Lupin naked, smelling clean and fresh, feeling him in his arms and under his hands, having missed him so very much over these months, Snape very much wanted to make love, for them become one once more.

It was more than just a sexual need – although Merlin knew, Snape desired Lupin at that moment as much as he ever had. No, it was more: physically, Snape needed to feel Lupin, every part of him; emotionally, he needed union with him – to demonstrate what he already knew - their perfect symmetry, physical and emotional. He wanted it so much, it hurt him inside.

But he subdued his passion, even though he knew the moon would begin to wax that night. Snape, of all people, understood what being used and abused felt like. He would know when it was time.

Only once they had eaten breakfast together, and Snape could see that Lupin had settled again did Snape encourage Lupin to pick up his story once more.

"I went to all manner of places. I deliberately didn't Disapparate so he would follow me - Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley – visited shops, pubs – then on to Hogsmeade. I went to see Aberforth at the Hog's Head. Stayed there that night. Made some arrangements with Aberforth to try to keep those opposed to Voldemort linked and pass on news where we could. Picked up the Prophet where I could. I sent letters to Kingsley and Bill to try to get news and I needed to form a plan for myself – do what I could to help since I'd messed up so terribly."

Snape was about to protest again, but Lupin calmed him this time with a smile that told Snape that he was merely recalling rather than berating himself. Lupin rubbed Snape's hand slowly.

"It was then I thought of Harry."

"What of him?" Snape frowned.

"Whatever his mission is. Do you know?"

What could Snape say? 'I know his mission will result in him dying and being brought back by some miracle?' He was certainly not going to tell Lupin that.

"Albus would never tell me," said Snape, as honestly as he could. "I only ever told Albus information. It wasn't a reciprocal arrangement. What do you know of this – this mission?"

"All I know is that Albus told us that Harry is critical; that he is our best hope to defeat Voldemort and that we must trust him."

Snape snorted and rolled his eyes. It made the boy sound like a great wizard like Dumbledore himself, and yet Snape knew the boy was far from that: he certainly possessed an inordinate amount of luck, but certainly not power or talent. He bit his tongue not to say so, but Lupin smiled indulgently as if he knew.

"Once I decided I needed to get to Harry to be of any use at all, it took me a couple of days to shake off Rodolphus and then I went to Grimmauld Place -"

"They're there?" Snape suddenly realised how easily he could have been caught when he went there for the photograph.

"It's being watched by another couple of your lot, but yes, shortly after the Burrow was attacked. They went to London first – nearly got caught – I have no idea how the Death Eaters found them ..."

"I do," Snape interrupted, remembering the torture of Dolohov and Rowle, and suddenly realising how close the children and indeed the both of them had come to capture, just sitting here, talking. "I think I do. The Dark Lord had the Ministry place a Taboo Curse on his name. It is precisely there to trap members of the Order, and people like Potter. When next you leave, you must not say his name."

Lupin's eyes widened at the realisation.

"But I have been saying it ... how is it safe here?"

"For a start, there's Albus's portrait who will say the name repeatedly. I realised this when we were first told of the Taboo, and I persuaded the Dark Lord that sending Death Eaters after a portrait would be a waste of resources."

"So, every time I've said the name ..."

"... the Death Eaters believe Albus's portrait is particularly talkative ..." A smile quirked at the corners of Snape's mouth although he could see Lupin thinking furiously. "Of course, once the other members of staff come back, they will not overlook it."

"I must warn the others, Severus! Expecto Patronum!" Three Patronuses leapt from Lupin's wand, and he sent them on to Kingsley, Arthur and Daedalus with dire warnings about the Taboo Curse and to pass on the message as quickly as possible to everyone who spoke the Dark Lord's name, including taking the message to the Tonks household. Snape wondered what the recipients would think of that but then he dismissed that from his mind as he watched the silver wolf forms depart and felt a surge of warmth through his body to see that Patronus form once more.

Lupin was almost breathless after passing on this information. "Dear Merlin!" he said under his breath. "I wonder how many others have been trapped by this." Lupin drew his palm over his clean shaven face. "Harry was lucky to escape."

"Yes, he was. Albus was foolish to encourage children to say the Dark Lord's name ..."

"You can't mean that ..."

"Yes, I do, Remus. It's one thing for a wizard of the skill of Albus Dumbledore to say his name, even for adult members of the Order, but encouraging children was foolish – I always told him so." Snape pulled up the sleeve of his bathrobe to display his Dark Mark to Lupin. "That curse is worked into this – it marked out the traitors to the Dark Lord or those who would challenge him – last time, and now this – Albus knew this. Now, the Dark Lord has the Ministry to cast his net wider and all people need to do is to be circumspect – that isn't cowardice – it's survival."

Lupin nodded with resignation. "You're right, Severus."

It seemed as if everything that Lupin discovered, or that he was telling Snape, chipped away at Lupin's certainties. It disturbed Snape more than he had realised: Lupin was the one who always tried to be positive – tried to find the best in everyone – the best in bad situations. It was clear to Snape now that these past months had undermined Lupin's faith in everything he thought he knew. Snape didn't want that – he wanted the man he Bonded with back. He had to draw this poison from Lupin and he could tell by Lupin's reticence that whatever had happened with Potter had been the final straw.

"I take it your offer to help Potter didn't go to plan," said Snape carefully.

"It was a disaster," said Lupin quietly, looking at his hands. He drew a deep breath and then placed Snape's wand in his hand again. "I think ... this would be easier for me," said Lupin with a weak smile.

Snape nodded, saying nothing on seeing how Lupin's eyes became glassy, knowing Lupin was steeling himself to show Snape this.

Legilimens.

Lupin Apparated precisely to the front door step of Grimmauld Place. Snape could see Dolohov and Rabastan Lestrange loitering in the square opposite. Lupin let himself in and, after identifying himself, was greeted with such affection from each of the teenagers that Snape felt his jealousy rear inside him, even as he heard Lupin ask,

'No sign of Severus, then?'

Even then, Lupin was seeking him. That fact dampened Snape's jealousy and he listened as Lupin told the three adolescents how the world seemingly conspired against them, and watched how they struggled to understand the machinations of a world at war as Lupin showed Potter the veiled accusations and innuendo against him in The Daily Prophet, explained the Muggle-born Register, what would happen at Hogwarts and the new Blood Status rules.

It was then that Lupin asked Potter about his mission, and Snape felt Lupin's shame beginning to burn again as the recollection unfolded.

I thought that, if I could help the three of them, I could at least be useful ... I needed to redeem myself. Maybe – at least – I could protect my friend's son. But then ...

'Remus,' said Hermione tentatively, 'is everything all right ... you know ... between you and -'

'Everything is fine, thank you,' said Lupin pointedly.

And Lupin told them briefly that Tonks was pregnant and listened as they congratulated him so profusely, steeling his resolve to ask the question.

'So ... do you accept my offer? Will three become four? I cannot believe that Dumbledore would have disapproved, he appointed me your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, after all. And I must tell you that I believe that we are facing magic many of us have never encountered or imagined.'

The tension in the room was palpable, and Snape could see Potter's face was like granite.

'Just – just to be clear, Potter said. 'You want to leave Tonks at her parents' house and come away with us?'

Damned child, to think you'd consider this some kind of adventure! snapped Snape, but he could feel from Lupin's reaction that this meeting would now go from bad to worse.

'She'll be perfectly safe there, they'll look after her,' said Lupin, repressing his own urge to confess the truth of their sham marriage – it wasn't detail for these children.

Snape prowled around the memory, never taking his eyes from Lupin, listening to how he glossed over the lies and manipulations of Tonks, and yet tried to make them understand the depth of his distress – of what the child might suffer in the future. Snape watched with growing horror as his husband seemed to unravel before his eyes.

Why didn't you tell him the truth of the child's conception, Remus? Or how you are unwelcome in that house? How your mother-in-law slanders you. Insults you! How your wife stood with her father, not her husband? They seem to think they have the right to know!

What could I say? The children idolise Dora ...

They idolise you!

I'm sure that's not true. And if it was – it isn't now.

Remus! Snape hissed angrily. Let her save her own reputation! Why should yours suffer?

From thereon in, it only got worse. The brat threw hurtful accusations at Lupin, filling him with mortification. Even the other two children tried to reign in their friend, but failed. Snape felt so helpless, understanding now – finally understanding because he could feel what Lupin was feeling –the depth of Lupin's despair at Lupin's life going wrong in every possible way as all his fears – passing on his Lycanthropy, rejection by Snape, hatred, being despised by those he cared for – were all heaped on his head. What Snape could feel was that Lupin now felt himself every bit as loathsome as Wizardkind had always professed him to be.

And then, as Potter compounded his insults, Snape felt Lupin's tenuous hold on his temper break and Lupin drew his wand so fast that Potter hard barely reach for his own; there was a loud bang as Lupin cast a wordless Repulsion Hex slamming Potter into the kitchen wall and he slid to the floor.

Lupin's guts churned with grief at the recollection as his memory self fled from Grimmauld Place.

I even hurt Harry. What kind of man does all this make me, Severus?

Snape withdrew, placed his wand carefully on the table and then he picked up Lupin's hands in his own.

"One who has limits. Even you have your limits, Remus. And you'd been pushed to them – by Tonks – her parents -" Snape swallowed, his dark eyes never leaving Lupin's. "- By me," he admitted, his voice almost giving out at the admission. "We wrought this on you, Remus. Potter just nudged you over the edge."

"I'll never forgive myself." Lupin screwed his eyes shut. Snape moved closed and embraced him, murmuring to him.

"You will. And Potter will. You'll see."

"Thank you, Severus," breathed Lupin, nuzzling into Snape's shoulder, drawing on Snape's strength, strength and patience that surprised Snape himself as he dug within his own depths to bring them both through these trials.

Lupin finally sat up once more and gave Snape a rueful smile.

"So, everything was as grim as it could be," he continued. "I wondered if perhaps I was wrong about the Bond too. It was all I had left. I had to know if – if there was anything to salvage. So I came here ... "

"And now you know."

"We both know – for better or worse." Lupin sighed.

"Where would you have gone if I had not been true?" asked Snape. Snape did not asked what Lupin would have done to Snape. He was fairly sure the wolf would not have let him go, but he put that thought aside. It didn't matter to them - not now.

"I'd barely formulated any plans. If I couldn't find you or you'd rejected me, the only thing I could think of was to go to Snowdon – join Idris and his pack. Perhaps Alphard might be able to help me with the child." Lupin shrugged. "I just didn't know."

Snape wrapped his arms around Lupin. He knew this admission cost Lupin. Lupin had never wanted to be part of a pack, even that of Idris, the most civilised of all packs. To Lupin, it would mean he had failed at being a wizard. Snape kissed him.

"I don't reject you, Remus. I couldn't if my life depended on it."

"Even though I married her ..."

"Even though." Snape kissed him again. "Now you know the truth, what will you do?"

Lupin raked his hand through his hair. "If I were not a werewolf, I could try for an annulment on the grounds of deceit and coercion, I suppose. But I am, and who will believe a werewolf over an Auror?"

"You think the corruption of the Auror Office isn't known?" Snape questioned incredulously. "That people assume Aurors are whiter than white?" scoffed Snape.

"I'm sure it's known to those of us who've had cause to suffer from it ..."

"You and Moody were great friends. And Shacklebolt too."

"Yes," Lupin nodded. "But most Aurors would hex me as soon as look at me. I'm only a beast, after all. Alastor and Kingsley were exceptions. They met me through Albus. And Dora ... well." Lupin's voice trailed away.

"Now the Dark Lord controls the Ministry, it is probably now all the more corrupt."

"Can you imagine anyone taking any complaint from me seriously, Severus? In this climate?"

Snape huffed an angry breath but he nodded. "So, she gets away with it. Drugging you, scrambling your memories, coercing you..." Snape stopped at the distressed look in Lupin's eyes, and suddenly recognised the anguish he had seen yesterday when Snape had confessed requesting Lily from the Dark Lord. He suppressed a groan. What must Lupin have thought? But Snape would never have coerced Lily – never!

Snape knew what coercion meant – all those years when he was young and he had suffered those terrors, even giving in because it was easier, less painful. No, he never would have inflicted that. And now, his own husband, to have been so manipulated, so used. Snape wanted retribution, but he felt his complicity keenly. He should never have allowed her the opportunity to weaken Lupin, to take advantage of his kind nature so thoroughly.

"And," said Lupin, heavily, "let's not forget the child. Can you imagine the opprobrium? A werewolf impregnating an Auror – a scion of the House of Black - with his werewolf spawn? I can't even imagine how the purebloods would use that against all wolfkind. Azkaban for me. For that child ..."

"Well, that child isn't going to be a werewolf, Remus. This Potion will work, I promise you," Snape averred.

"I have every faith in you, Severus," said Lupin. "But when it does, that child's life will be forever tainted by my affliction."

"It is not your fault, Remus," said Snape, stressing every word. "We'll make sure your son is safe. This child may not be mine, Remus. But he will be yours so his welfare is my business."

Lupin looked up, surprised at Snape's tone. Snape got up from the table and strode to the bedroom, opened the secret compartment and found what he was looking for: the photograph album from Spinner's End.

Snape brought the album through, opened it and placed it before Lupin who looked at the photo of Snape when he was a year old, chubby with a crooked smile.

"When I first saw this photo, I wondered when I had stopped smiling – how young I was." He looked at the photo again and knew the answer as if the photo spoke to him: "I know now. It was when my father rejected me and my mother, with violence."

"Do you believe I would ..."

"Not for one minute. But you could let yourself be driven away, and that child will still bear that weight of the rejection." Snape interlaced his fingers with Lupin's. "I won't let that happen, Remus. I won't let them do that to you and your child."

The depth of Snape's feeling about this surprised even himself. Was this the Claim, or was it his own deeply jealous possessiveness of everything to do with Lupin?

He led Lupin over to the cauldron where the altered Potion still slowly steeped and he and Lupin stared at it. Snape realised with startling clarity that he would now be helping to conceive this child: that part that would not be werewolf, but a Remus-like boy. This child was part of Lupin, and Snape loved Lupin beyond anything. Tonks would soon find out just how very much Snape loved Lupin.

"Severus," said Lupin, looking pensive. "When I give her this potion ... surely, it may prompt her memory. Your cover must be maintained. What can I do?"

Snape jaw worked as this sunk in. Of course, Lupin was right. And if hell had no fury like a woman scorned, what would a Black woman do on finding out the man she had compromised herself so fully for was Bonded to a man in such a precarious position as Snape? It wasn't even up for question that she would betray him in an instant.

An idea came to him, but he knew Lupin wouldn't like it.

"Albus put me under a Fidelius for his death. We could work a Fidelius on her."

Lupin shook his head. "Albus had no right to do that to you. I'm not sure I'll ever forgive him ..."

"Are you worried about her feelings?" clipped Snape jealously.

"No, Severus. But if we start behaving like that, how are we different? If we start spouting rhetoric about the greater good, how can we feel aggrieved about Albus's interference? Because I am, Severus. I still am! We wouldn't be having to plan this at all if he hadn't done that to us ..."

Snape nodded. Lupin was right; of course he was, but too much was stake.

"But a Fidelius is a good idea," agreed Lupin. "Dora just needs to consent. If we can explain how necessary this potion is - get her to agree then you should be the Secret Keeper, Severus. It's your identity we need to protect. Tonks will never be able to give the secret up, even if she wants to."

Snape didn't even doubt that Tonks would want to when she found out how deluded she had been. But then, he realised what else this would mean.

"If I am to be Secret Keeper then ... I must cast the Charm. You want me to go with you to see her?"

Lupin regarded him seriously.

"It has to be you. That's the safest way."

Snape couldn't deny that a thrill coursed through him to confront the woman who had debased his husband with spells and potions or the secret pleasure he derived from Lupin wanting Snape to accompany him. He wouldn't have wanted Lupin to see her alone but had assumed that it would have to be that way. Yes, indeed, they were stronger together.

"So we beard the lion in its den?" asked Snape, leaning over the cauldron to check the brew.

"Or the badger in its sett." Lupin stood behind him, draping his arms around Snape's waist and resting his chin on Snape's shoulder. Snape felt the warmth of Lupin's body pressed against his back, and it made his insides heat.

"Vicious creatures when they're cornered, badgers," Snape said. "But then - so are snakes."

.

A/N: Thank you for your reviews to the last chapter, folks!

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You Will Not Kiss Me