Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 106
- 107
- 108
Chapter 107: An Interlude for Love Renewed

Snape had tended to the Potion and left it to steep once more as Lupin looked out of the enchanted window in the bedroom.

"I see Hagrid," called out Lupin. "He's going to the Dark Forest."

Snape joined Lupin and they watched Hagrid trudge into the trees, Fang bounding along with him.

"He'll do his rounds in the forest and then he'll go to Albus's tomb and clean it – even though it has the strongest Impervious Charms on it so that it will never deteriorate. He does it every day. I suppose it comforts him."

"Poor Hagrid." Lupin wrapped his arm around Snape's waist. Snape relished the weight of it against him.

"Yes, poor Hagrid. I suppose Albus was all he had. Well, at least, he now has his brother to care for. Strange that should happen – that he should find his brother when he was sent away by Albus."

Lupin turned to look at him. "Yes. Strange. Do you think we have time to go for a walk together before he returns?"

Snape smiled. He could forget how much Lupin loved the fresh air, the grounds of Hogwarts; how he liked just to walk and 'take the air'.

"Yes, I think we have time."

So, both Disillusioned, they left the castle where Filch might lurk around any corner and walked leisurely towards the Lake. As they walked, taking vast intakes of fresh air, savouring the sharpness of the air around the Lake, they talked and Lupin held Snape's hand.

Snape remembered how Lupin had told him that holding hands was not negotiable all those years ago. And now, Snape couldn't imagine how he had ever flinched from being so demonstrative, wishing only he could be more so, more often.

It was only a matter of days now before the staff returned to Hogwarts. Snape would have to meet with them, bear the weight of their opprobrium whilst trying to put together a curriculum that suited the Dark Lord but trying to run the school in a way that would protect the students without the Carrows suspecting. It would be fraught and trying, but Snape would have to find a way through. It gave him a lightness of heart that Lupin would now be there to help him navigate what was to come.

Of course, they still had to find a way for Lupin to stay with him. Could he stay in Snape's quarters? Snape was confident that Potter would not return to Hogwarts at the start of term, but he couldn't be confident that he would never look at that blasted map!

They walked and talked of the ambulant nature of ancient Wizarding architecture and Cartography Charms and they sat on the bank of the Lake together as Lupin recounted again how he and his friends had constructed the map, layer upon layer of complex charms.

"Is there any way we can counter-charm my quarters so your presence here is undiscovered?"

Lupin considered. "The Homonculous Charm's the one that enables the map reader to track the movements of every person in the castle, except in the Room of Requirement."

"Because the Room itself is Unplottable?" asked Snape.

"I think it is because the Room is Unknowable. It dispels Charms so none can hinder its changes. After all, Hogwarts herself is Unplottable, but we managed to charm it."

Snape nodded as he looked up at the castle, looking at her anew after so many years within her walls.

"So the Charm attaches to the people, not the place?"

"Partly. We had to enchant the castle and the grounds to pick up the people and use all manner of charms to identify the person and the place, but essentially, I think the tracking charm's the one we need."

"So, the counter-charm should attach to you then - so you cannot be tracked on that map?"

"I suppose so. I'm one of the original Casters, and you have the power of the Headmaster to place and lift enchantments on the castle – that must give extra weight to any counter-charm."

Snape lifted an eyebrow and a small smile began to form that was almost mischievous.

"As Headmaster, could I disable that map entirely?"

"Oh, I dare say you could, with time and patience," Lupin replied with a cheeky smile of his own. "It took the four of us five years to finish the map – do you have the time to spare to unravel each charm in each place?"

Snape shook his head, with a snort of laughter, and Lupin draped his arm over Snape's shoulder, pulling him towards himself.

"Let Harry have his memento, Severus," he murmured, and Snape could feel the smile on Lupin's lips and then he pressed a kiss to Snape's hair. Snape nodded. As long as he could remove Lupin from detection, why should he care?

Snape sighed as they kissed like young lovers by the Lake. He so wanted to have these last few days of freedom with Lupin. Yes, they had to try to deal with many things, including the pregnancy, but Snape had waited months – five long and lonely months – to be with Lupin. Even walking around the Lake and sitting together on its banks with light summer breezes brushing their faces, as gentle as Lupin's kisses, were paradise to Snape.

The perfect moment was broken as a gleaming silver form bounded towards them. Lupin shot to his feet as the lynx halted before it, and Shacklebolt's voice came from it.

"Remus, I said the name. They're after me! I'll be in touch as soon as I can. Let the others know."

oooOOOooo

Messages had been sent by Patronus and by owl.

Lupin was clearly shaken that Shacklebolt of all people had so nearly been captured and was on the run. It was a grievous loss to the Order to lose such a senior Auror within Magical Law Enforcement to warn them in advance of raids and orders.

Tonks was only a junior Auror and, now she was pregnant, her parents were anxious for her to leave for she would surely be targeted by the blood purists for her marriage as well as her Muggle-born father.

Such information as they could procure now would be from their few members in the more prosaic departments. They would be lucky if there was much of use. Information was the life's blood of any resistance, it now it looked as if it would be cut off.

Snape made his decision swiftly. It would be a risk, but if he could not trust Lupin, there was no-one he could trust.

"I can at least pass on what I know, but it's more likely to be high level than ground level and immediate. And of course, you and I will have to filter it so it's not apparent that it comes from me. You cannot let anyone in the Order know how you come by the information. You could claim spies from the running wolves, maybe. How much use that will be to you ..."

Lupin clasped Snape's shoulder, his blue eyes bright.

"Thank you, Severus! I'll not jeopardise your safety so we must take care."

Snape smiled at Lupin's earnest expression.

"Don't worry, Remus. Espionage is my speciality, after all."

oooOOOOooo

For the last half an hour of the brew, Snape tended the Electio Potion, stirring carefully, watching for the minute changes in colour and consistency that would indicate success. Lupin watched intently at his side. As the colour tipped from lilac to lavender to lightest mauve, and the aroma shifted subtly, Snape extinguished the burner and cast a Cooling Charm. Then he re-bottled the Potion in a crystal phial and placed it in between them.

"I can't go with you to the Tonkses' house," said Snape.

"I understand you don't want to ..."

"No, Remus, I can't. The Jinx ..."

"Oh." Lupin frowned and Snape saw a flash of distress, quickly suppressed. Lupin did not want to meet Tonks on his own, that was clear. "The Hog's Head then. I could ask her there and book a room with Aberforth so we can speak privately."

"What will that seem like, you booking a room?"

Lupin sat, and Snape moved behind him to massage his shoulders. Lupin's shoulders were knotted with anxiety.

"Then I must ask her to bring her parents – one or both. A family conference."

Snape exhaled heavily. "All three?"

"Maybe, it's for the best. They will all be caught by the Fidelius then."

Snape kneaded a particularly hard knot as a smile quirked the corner of his mouth.

"That's really quite Slytherin of you."

"It is?" Lupin turned to look at Snape.

"Of course. By having the Tonks family under Fidelius to our secret, they will know of the provenance of the information you bring, vouching for its veracity without the concomitant danger of my discovery." Snape smirked. "You planned this, obviously."

Lupin gave a hoarse laugh as his eyebrows shot up. "I'm clearly not so Slytherin!"

They both occasionally looked at the phial, words unspoken about what the phial could have been for them. Now was not the time, but Snape hoped that one day that time would come. Lupin picked up the phial and turned it around delicately.

"Severus ..." Lupin swallowed, a flush rising up neck. "Things may be said at this meeting. Intimate things. About the Claim. Us. Dora."

Snape cupped his hand over Lupin's, loathing the shame he saw in Lupin's face, but knowing in his heart of hearts he might hear things that would sorely test his tightly restrained temper. His desire for vengeance was sharp, but vengeance wasn't justice. He needed to be careful and, above all, strong for Lupin.

"I have no doubt I will hear things I could live my whole life without knowing. But we're in this together, Remus. I won't let her drive a wedge between us. Not now."

Lupin nodded and Snape returned his hands to Lupin's shoulders.

"We need to make Dora understand how important it is that she agrees to this – the Charm – the Potion."

"Oh, I know something that'll make her understand all right," hissed Snape.

"What do you mean?"

Snape stopped massaging Lupin and sat next to him and held his hand. Snape couldn't not tell Lupin, not when he was sure Tonks would need an additional incentive to agree to the Fidelius.

"There's more to a werewolf and human pregnancy than I first told you." He pressed on quickly seeing worry reflected in Lupin's gaze. "In Alphard's letters, he told me that a human mother cannot carry a werewolf foetus to term because the transformations will eventually -"

"- kill her?" interjected Lupin in a horrified whisper. Snape nodded. "Oh dear God," Lupin rasped, covering his face with one hand.

"Remus. Listen to me," said Snape gently, holding his shoulder. "The Potion will fix it. I promise you."

Lupin turned swiftly, folding Snape in a strong embrace.

"You did that for me. Made that sacrifice to save me! Oh Severus!" Lupin littered Snape's face with desperate kisses. "I'm so sorry."

Snape returned the embrace just as fiercely.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Remus. I won't have you suffer this guilt because of what that woman did to you!" Snape held Lupin's face, and kissed him fully. "If she weren't pregnant, I'd hex her to oblivion."

Lupin gave a weak smile and rested his head on Snape's shoulder. The hurt he still felt in Lupin made Snape so angry. He wanted Lupin to be angry too. He hated this guilt and the way it weakened Lupin's resolve and self-esteem.

"Why aren't you angrier, Remus? Why don't you want to hex her to oblivion too?"

"I am angry. But how can I deny how I contributed to the mess I'm in. I wanted to keep you safe at the full moon. How else could I do it? If I didn't mark her, how could I do it?" There was a desperate note in Lupin's voice. It chilled Snape to hear it. "I saw how bereaved she was. Even when I could see she had an unhealthy attraction to me, still I allowed her in. I couldn't see an alternative that would keep you safe. It was so ... so very selfish of me."

"Then it was selfish of us."

"Of me. It's my curse."

Snape suppressed his frustration and made his tone as measured and calm as he could.

"No, Remus. This has to stop. If this had happened to me – if I had been drugged and Obliviated, what would you do? Would you expect me to feel guilty? To forgive the person who did that to me?"

"No!" Lupin barked, his pupils dilating with anger. "If someone had touched you, I would have ... would have ..." Lupin's struggle with his possessive anger was visible and yet, to Snape's shock, Lupin quelled it, his face a mask of misery. "You know what I would have done. Because I am an animal."

"You are not an animal, Remus," Snape said, his own voice low.

"I am. A Dark Creature. And it is all my fault. If I hadn't allowed the beast in me to Claim you, I wouldn't have left you vulnerable at the moon. Dora would have had time to come to terms with her grief without me as a constant reminder. I - am - responsible."

Snape shouldn't argue with the logic, no matter how skewed it was – it was the logic he himself had used about the Prophecy, irrespective that he had not cast the Killing Curse against the Potters himself. But just as Lupin had argued with Snape's logic, Snape would argue with Lupin's.

Snape grabbed Lupin's shoulders this time, finding the continued guilt almost unbearable to witness. Snape adored the Claim – how it made him Lupin's – he didn't consider it bestial at all, but it was a part of Lupin – a part of them – what they were to each other. He'd be damned if he let Lupin sink in the despair to which he'd been driven. Somehow, Snape had to make him see they were the same men as they ever were - to each other, at least.

He kissed Lupin, holding his dear face, savouring the taste and the feel of him, wishing they had the time to console each other, to make each other whole again, but they had to deal with Tonks and the child. Every day that passed meant the situation became more parlous for mother and child – and Snape couldn't see Lupin ever recovering if his Lycanthropy killed them both.

Snape broke the kiss, and stroked Lupin's face, realising how little faith he had in Tonks and her family. How could he have after what he had seen?

"Perhaps we should both cast the Fidelius," said Snape, dropping his hands.

"Both? Why?"

"If I die, the Secret vests in all of you. If we are both Secret-Keepers and I die, they cannot use the secret against you publicly. Never underestimate, Remus, the public opprobrium that you would endure. A Dark Creature bonded to a Death Eater." The irony wasn't lost on Snape how he had once found that notion romantic. "Your liberty, even your life, would be at risk."

"I think I can imagine," said Lupin mournfully. "Can we cast as two?"

"Yes, I believe so. We have a unity of purpose so we have to ensure we use the same casting on the same parameters."

They worked on the wording of the Fidelius together, practising the incantation together so when the time came the casting would be swift and efficient.

Satisfied with their work, Lupin sent an owl to Tonks. He held Snape's hand as they watched the owl swoop away from the Owlery. So much depended on this.

oooOOOooo

Morning came and with it, a terse response from Tonks agreeing that the three of them would meet him to discuss next steps that afternoon.

They had bathed and breakfasted, but Lupin was quiet and pensive.

For Snape, the time was now.

Every time they had kissed over these few days they had been reunited, Snape had felt the passion in his lover ignite – and then he had felt Lupin subdue his own desire. Lupin's self-hatred had reached new lows and he despised his own desires, blaming them for the crisis they now found themselves in.

Lupin had always been so physically confident, so ardent a lover. But this guilt consumed Lupin's passion – this guilt that he had brought the situation on them with his werewolfism – the same werewolfism that fuelled his passion. If Snape allowed it to carry on, it would be a self-perpetuating, downward cycle, he was sure.

Snape himself was feeling fraught, and his own desires would not rest. He didn't want to argue with Lupin: nothing could kill passion more, but oh! he wanted him. He wanted him so badly. He wanted to show him how loved he was – that they were still the same, even if circumstances around them had changed.

As he opened his wardrobe, he realised exactly how he could get Lupin to react to him. Perhaps it was a low trick – it was certainly very Slytherin – but Snape didn't want to wait any longer – in fact, he was sure it would be detrimental to do so.

He pulled out the robe he'd been looking for and dressed carefully, smoothing down the expensive wool as Lupin came in from the bathroom. As Lupin picked up his clothes Tippy had laundered for him, his eyes fell on the black robe on Snape's form. He frowned. Snape could tell Lupin had noticed that it was a very well tailored robe, with fine silver embroidery.

Lupin moved over to Snape and his hand hovered over the robe. Snape saw Lupin's nostrils flare slightly and Snape knew – Lupin's sense of smell could pick it up, no matter how many times it had been laundered. Lupin looked at Snape, his eyes hard and angry.

"Malfoy's robe? Why do you have his robe?" Snape could hear that Lupin was trying to suppress a snarl, provoked exactly as Snape wanted him provoked, as he scrunched the material in his hand.

"It's not what it seems, Remus," said Snape carefully. "Narcissa gave me the robe because mine was torn. Lucius ..." Lupin scowled at the mention of the name. "He was still in Azkaban. My robe was torn by a hippogriff as I left Hogwarts." Snape moved closer – provocatively close, knowing Lupin would now not be able to ignore the underlying scent. Lupin's jaw worked as his fingers worked in the fabric.

Snape knew under any other circumstances, Lupin would have grasped Snape to himself jealously. Snape wanted him to do that now. Snape's hand held the Bonding Circlet around Lupin's arm and then he drew down his hand down to clasp Lupin's hand and Lupin pulled him close.

"You wear his clothes." Lupin's eyes became hooded.

"Yes."

"Smelling of him." Lupin inhaled deeply, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

"Not that I can smell."

"But I can." Lupin's body now pressed against Snape: it was hot and hard against him.

"Get rid of the smell then, Remus. Wipe it away from me," Snape said, his eyes half closing with want.

"Don't!" growled Lupin, even as his strong hands clasped Snape's back. "Don't call to the beast in me."

"You are not a beast," murmured Snape smoothly, as their mouths were centimetres apart and he held Lupin firmly, demanding his attention. "I'm calling to the man."

Snape knew he did call to the beast. He called to the beast because the beast would take what the man wanted; the beast would not feel revulsion or disgust; it would not build insurmountable barriers of guilt between them. Snape called to the beast to crash through those barriers.

He pulled Lupin to himself and kissed him as passionately and hard as he ever had in avowal, hearing a moan of misery and desire mixed escape from Lupin's throat as they kissed. And even as they kissed, Snape unbuttoned his own robe enough to expose his neck. He placed Lupin's hand on the bite, hearing an even deeper moan as Lupin broke the kiss and trailed his lips across Snape's neck down to the bite, nuzzling and scenting it.

"Not for one minute, do I regret being Claimed, Remus," Snape said softly, thrills shooting down his body as the soft touch of Lupin's lips to his marked flesh, his own hands stroking Lupin's back, knowing the bite's mesmeric effect was irresistible to Lupin.

Snape could feel the tension growing in Lupin's body, the tension that signified desire, building ever brighter. Snape wanted to give into it very badly – his whole body screamed for it even as Lupin clasped the back of Snape's neck as he kissed and licked it, stoking both men's desire. Snape knew if Lupin bit, they would both be lost in each other in that instant.

Let's be lost then, Snape thought deliriously, as his own fingers quickly moved to undo the fastenings on the robe. But he didn't finish quickly enough and Lupin growled as he tore the rest of the robe apart, pushing it off Snape's shoulders and from Snape's body, wanting Malfoy's robe off him.

A small smile spread on Snape's face as Lupin stripped him, his blue eyes stormy with passion.

He took Snape by the shoulders and kissed him deeply. Every sense and nerve that had ever been innervated by Lupin's touch fired in remembrance and Snape felt himself drenched in hot, thick desire so intense he thought his groin and gut would explode. He kissed Lupin back, grabbing the back of his head.

As Lupin growled, "My Severus," to his ear, thrilling the nerves in his neck, Snape's mind began to reel, his whole body was aflame as he joined in with trembling hands to divest Lupin of his bathrobe. Lupin staked his Claim again, harshly on his neck and shoulders and chest. Naked at last, Lupin held Snape to him, trapping their erections together, as one arm held Snape at the small of his back and the other hand held onto his hair and Snape grasped Lupin's backside. They kissed bruisingly hard and desperately, sucking at the other's tongue – months of banked, searing lust, bursting out unleashed and uncontrollable, all other considerations wiped from their minds.

Lupin lifted Snape back onto the bed, pushing his hand between Snape's legs as he did so, his impatience to feel that part of Snape he was so desperate to enter written over his face, Snape's body trembling with anticipation. Snape could barely breathe in his own desire and a hoarse cry of impending release tore from deep in his throat as Lupin hooked his fingers into him, pulsing him hard over and over again sending waves of sheer pleasure coursing through him until Snape begged for him. Then Lupin pushed in devastatingly slowly, repeating his name in tones hoarse from desire, Snape begging Lupin to fill him as he wrapped his legs high above Lupin's waist.

Lupin grasped Snape's hips and thrust into him and Snape bucked back. They ground against each other as hard and deep as they could. Snape almost howled in pleasure too long denied, and Lupin cried out Snape's name over again as they pitched their hips at each other, with desperate desire but not wanting it to finish. Lupin wrapped Snape's own hand around his cock to pace with them. Every time they started to feel their orgasms mount, one or other would slow so they could attenuate their hot and fervent desire and keep it simmering, then build it again. They kept torturing themselves to the brink, until their bodies could bear no more and, of one mind, they bucked as hard and fast as they could, dripping with sweat, and encouraging each other with their hoarse cries of ecstasy until Lupin came fiercely after Snape, collapsing onto him, both of them struggling to breathe.

They lay like this in silence for a long time, kissing softly, holding hands as their bodies calmed, knowing this was about those things unspoken: forgiveness, love, affirmation and renewal. What could be said that hadn't already, or would improve the deep understanding the men had of each other right at this moment? Snape had wanted this so badly, and the fierce passion of Lupin's showed him that Lupin had wanted him too.

Shame had imprisoned Lupin and Snape had freed him, physically at least. If this painful separation had taught Snape anything it was that there was no place for shame in this relationship - for either of them.

Now, Snape's body was spent, his mind calm and his heart full as Lupin leant over him, dusky eyes soft with love drinking in the smouldering coal-bright black eyes. It was what Snape had wanted, and seeing that look – the look he knew Tonks had never received - was precisely what he needed to strengthen him against what was to come.

I could drown in those eyes and die happy, Lupin had said. The intensity of the look in those eyes told Snape it was still true.

Next chapter: Interview with the Tonkses.

A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews to the last chapter. Always appreciated.
- 106
- 107
- 108
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

You Will Not Kiss Me