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What Is and What Should Never Be	By : Padfoot79 Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 3722 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
What Is and What Should Never Be
Author: Prongs
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all things 'Harry Potter.' Zeppelin owns the title of the story, as well as the song, 'In My Time of Dying' (Physical Graffiti).
Chapter 10: In My Time of Dying
………….
Sirius grabbed James' arms and yanked them both out of the pensieve. As soon as they were back in James' room, Sirius pushed James and then backed away with a glare on his face.
"What in the fuck were you thinking?" Sirius yelled. "Why in the hell did you think you could just go into my pensieve?"
James tugged at his hair and worriedly looked at his boyfriend. "I'm sorry, Siri. I just…I felt like it would help me to help you."
"Wait a minute. Let me get this straight, James. You're trying to tell me that you wanted to help me so you decided to go into my pensieve without my permission? Is that what you're telling me?"
James nodded his head. "Siri, please forgive me! I know I shouldn't have done it, but I…"
"But what?" Sirius asked angrily. "What?"
"I just knew that you were never going to let me see those memories, and-"
"You're damn right!" Sirius exclaimed as he moved in closer to James. "I was never going to let you see them. I never wanted you to see them, and I fucking trusted you, James!"
"Sirius, I-"
"Shut the fuck up!" Sirius yelled. "Just don't say anything to me and leave me alone."
James felt tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. "Sirius, please, can we talk about this?"
Sirius grabbed his boots and walked over to the door.
"Where are you going?" James asked desperately.
"Out," Sirius replied bitterly. He glared at James and then hurried across the room and grabbed his diary.
"Siri, gods, I'm so fucking sorry!"
"Save it," Sirius muttered as he opened the door. "Oh, and I'll just leave the bloody pensieve here for your enjoyment, James."
Sirius slammed the door shut and disappeared down the hallway before James could stop him.
James sighed and sank onto the floor and buried his head in his hands.
…………..
"Black," Severus sneered when he passed Sirius.
Sirius stopped and just stared at Severus. "Snape," he finally said. "What do you want?"
"Did I say I wanted anything?"
"Suppose not," Sirius mumbled and continued walking on. Severus just watched him curiously.
…………

"James? Are you all right?" Lily asked as she entered his room.
"Have you ever heard of knocking?" James muttered.
"Sorry," Lily whispered. "I just…I mean, after the other night, I was wondering if everything was okay."
"Shit," James muttered. "I'm sorry, Lily. I should have explained. I've just been so preoccupied."
Lily sat down next to James on the floor and nodded her head. "I can tell. What's going on?"
"I can't really tell you," James said. "But…I'm really sorry about the other night. Look, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not really interested in you…in that way. There's someone else."
"I was kind of expecting that," Lily replied. "Is it Sirius?"
James' eyes widened. "Am I that obvious?"
"Yes, I think so. Have you told him?"
"Yeah."
"And?"
"Erm, Lily, I really need to be alone right now," James said. "I'm sorry."
The head girl stood up and looked down at her friend sympathetically. "You will tell me if there's anything I can do to help, won't you?"
"I will," James replied as he watched Lily leave the room.
…………
"What's wrong, Sirius?" Remus asked.
Sirius looked up at his friend and shrugged his shoulders.
Remus sighed and sat down next to Sirius. He stared out at the lake quietly.
"Have you seen James?" Sirius finally questioned.
Remus shook his head.
"Remus, you're a good listener, right?"
"I'd like to think so."
"If I tell you…something, will you promise that you won't tell anyone else?" Sirius asked.
"I can't really make that promise, Sirius. I mean, if you tell me that someone is getting murdered tonight, then I'm going to have to tell someone!"
"Merlin, Remus, I'm not going to tell you that, all right?"
"I figured as much. I promise not to tell anyone."
"Thank you," Sirius replied. He quickly looked around to make sure that nobody else was nearby. "James went inside my pensieve without asking."
"You have a pensieve?"
Sirius nodded. "Professor McGonagall just gave it to me. He didn't even ask, Remus! I never wanted him to see those memories. I'm so angry with him right now!"
"I can't blame you, Sirius. He never should have gone inside without your permission. Erm, Sirius, why did McGonagall give you a pensieve?"
Sirius stared at his friend for several moments, deep in thought.
"That's okay, forget it. It's none of my business."
"No, I think maybe I should tell you, Remus. You're a close friend, and I trust you."
With a deep breath, Sirius proceeded to explain to Remus why exactly he needed a pensieve.
………
When Sirius was finished explaining, Remus honestly didn't know what to say. He knew that Sirius' family hated him, but he no idea just how much.
"Gods, Siri, I'm so sorry," Remus finally replied. "That's horrible. Merlin, I don't know what to say."
"Just promise me you won't tell anyone else, Remus. I mean, gods, now that Snape knows about it, the whole world will probably hear of it, but in the-"
"Snape knows?" Remus interrupted. "How did that happen?"
"He stole my diary from James' room."
"Does he still have it? How do you know it was him?"
"James got it back. Gods, James, James…I'm so mad at him and yet…yet I love him so much," Sirius said sadly. "He shouldn't have done that, but…" Sirius shook his head stared at the lake. "Why can't life be easy for once?"
Remus gently rubbed his hand up and down Sirius' back. "I don't know, Siri. Life is never easy."
"Sorry, Remus. &;I'm;I'm being thoughtless."
"What ever do you mean?"
"You're…well, you know. You have so much you have to deal with. My problems are nothing compared to that," Sirius said quietly.
"That's not true at all," Remus replied. "Yes, I hate being a werewolf. But, that doesn't mean it's the ultimate problem."
Sirius' forehead crinkled. "What?"
"That didn't make sense, did it? What I'm trying to say is, what has happened to you is horrible, Sirius. It's worse than what has happened to me. You should never have been treated that way."
Sirius sniffled and looked down at the ground.
"How did James get the diary back? Did Snape just give it back?"
After studying Remus for a moment, Sirius launched into the complete story, leaving out no details. When he was finished, Remus looked horrified.
"I shouldn't have told you that," Sirius whispered worriedly. "James didn't want me telling anyone, and I'm sure that Snape wouldn't want anyone else to know. Shit!"
"It's not like I'm going to tell the whole school," Remus said. "Merlin, Siri, this is horrible, though. Neither one of you should…gods, do you know if Snape has told anyone else besides James?"
"Doesn't sound like it," Sirius replied. "I passed him in the hallway, and I thought of talking to him about it, but I figured that would result in someone getting killed. We hate each other. Just because we have something terrible in common doesn't mean that he would want me to talk to him about it."
"He needs someone to comfort him," Remus said softly.
Sirius looked at his friend and raised an eyebrow.
Remus blushed slightly and looked away.
"I need to forgive James," Sirius finally said. "What he did was wrong, but I need him, you know?"
"I do know," Remus replied, turning to face Sirius again. &n
"Should I find him or wait for him to find me?"
"Who? James?" Remus asked, looking distracted.
"No, Jimmy Page! Yes, I was talking about James. Are you okay, Remus?"
"Erm, yes. I think you should go inside and find him," Remus said as he stood up.
Sirius joined his friend, and the two silently returned to the castle.
…………
TBC
- 10
- 11
- 12
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What Is and What Should Never Be