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Searching My Soul	By : snapesgirl1981 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 14666 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
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Searching My Soul
by snapesgirl1981

AN: I am sorry for the long delay but I had my exams to worry about plus my muse decided she needed some chill out time in spain. Now she has gracefully accepted to return and I can continue with this story. This story will be finished as will be all my other work, so don't worry about that. Thank you once again for your gentle feedback and subtle (or not so subtle) encouragement. On we go!

Chapter 11

Snape left again the following morning but this time not without waking Harry before he left the house. He had already dressed and packed his belongings when he sat down on the bed next to the sleeping boy who had not woken once. His breathing seemed calm and peaceful, he had not stirred at all during the night, not being plagued by nightmares as usual and his face was beginning to lose the weary look of too many nights not slept in peace. Snape gently nudged Harry and when the only response he got was a soft snore he chuckled.

�Potter!� His voice sounded stern and instantly the boy's eyes fluttered open. �It is so very graceful of you to open your eyes and let me talk with you.� His voice dripped with irony but the amused smile took the sting from the words.

Harry grinned shortly and then took in the potions Master appearance. �You are leaving Sir?�

Snape nodded and was pleased to see the crestfallen look on Harry's face. �I have to. You are safe here with Lupin and Tonks around and I have important business to do.�

�What kind of business?� Harry asked carefully stretching his limbs. For a second Snape admired his lean torso and the way in which his shoulder blades moved but then he came back to business instantly.

�You should know by now that I can't answer these questions, Potter! But we see each other again very soon, I am afraid.� At Harry's blank look he sighed. �This talk would be much easier if you were fully awake but unfortunately I don't have that much time.�

Harry grinned in response and stiffled a yawn. Snape snorted.

�You will return to Hogwarts in a couple of days, of course and I am almost sure I am going to see you in my N.E.W.T potions class since fate would never be that kind to me to spare me your presence.�

�I passed the OWL well enough, didn't I?� He sounded defiant.

Snape nodded glumly. �Yes, I still don't know how you did it. I know Ms Granger couldn't have helped you, maybe you used polyjuice potion once again?�

Harry blushed shortly. �I did it all on my own Sir and I will work hard to achieve remarkable grades! I want to become an auror and I will be good enough to be accepted.�

�Why don't I doubt that for a second, Potter?� Snape mused. �I have to go now and I want you to promise me to not leave the house without Lupin or Tonks!�

Harry nodded and yawned once again. �I won't! Where would I go anyhow?�

Snape shrugged and got up. �Try to get enough sleep and attempt to gain some weight back- you look terribly undernourished.� He whirled around and was gone without another word.

The next days passed in relative peace with Harry spending most of his time with Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville. Not once did either of them mention the potions Master again and Harry so very relieved about that. The way in which he had surrendered to his teacher, the way in which this encounter had began to haunt him with very pleasurable dreams at nights was indeed starting to bother him. When he was alone he mostly read more potions texts or tried to think staring into space.

It was one of these afternoons when he was sitting on the bed in Snape's chamber reading a partly interesting book about concealment potions when a soft knock made him look up with surprise. He quickly checked his appearance and when he was certain he looked quite innocent he placed the old book that he had got from Snape before he had left on the bed.

�Come in!�

Ther opr opened slowly and Neville's round face peeked into the room. He was wearing grey trousers and a white t-shirt and once again Harry was surprised how much he had changed over the summer. He was unsure if it was just on the outside, he had lost weight and his face had begun to lose the puffy cheeks, or if it went further than that.

Neville smiled shortly and waved into the room. �May I come in or am I interrupting anything?�

Harry shrugged and grinned. �Not really, I am only reading. Sit down!�

Neville complied and sank onto the mattress his eyes wandering around in the room.

Harry chuckled softly. �You know, he is not here anymore.�

Neville grinned sheepishly. �I know but I am really scared of him.� He paused and then he rushed on as if scared of stopping. �Not of him in the sense that he would attack me but in the sense that he sees all I am not and knows I am not as skilled as my parents. I never be and he points it out all the time.�

Harry sighed. �I know how that feels Neville but he is not as mean as you think he is.� As he faced Neville's doubtful look he blushed for some reason once again. �I mean he has been civil towards me you know? No curses or poisoning,� Harry tried to joke.

Neville nodded seriously. �Yes, I can see that.� He stared out of the window where from his position on the bed he could onook ook into clouded sky. The last night it had been raining even so it was summer and very slowly the sky began to clear. �Harry, I never got the chance to thank you.�

�What for?� Harry asked cautiously.

�For not telling anybody about my parents. The headmaster told me that he had revealed the truth to you but you never said one word. And judging from your best friends' stunned faces not even to them.� Neville had averted his eyes from the window and stared at his hands where he gripped his wand. �At the time I couldn't help but feel embarrassed about them and how they are now even so I now know it was a cruel thing to do. I don't feel that way any longer but I once did.�

Harry gently gripped his arm. �I know how this can feel, Neville. I promised not to tell anybody and I didn't. No need to thank me okay?�

�Is there anything that I can do for your Harry?� Neville looked up and his blue eyes seemed to have a whole new quality as if he was newly enlightened about a lot of things. �I know, you know?� he added almost as a whisper.

Harry snapped back his hand. �You know what?� �He can't know, he can't.�

�That you are homosexual.� Neville got up and smiled gently all in a sudden. �You know, you are not the only one. There are loads of wizards who are into men.� He made two steps and opened the door. �Professor Snape for example. Or me.�

Harry still stared at the door long after it had closed the thoughts racing in his head. �What a consolation!� he proclaimed into the empty room.
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Searching My Soul