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If Only To Feel...	By : Jadestonedreams Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 10417 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Author note: Hey everyone, I know it seems like forever since I last updated this story. Sorry about not getting back to you for so long, I had to put this off aside for awhile so I could finish another project in RL. You know how it goes.

I want to thank everyone for all the feedback you've been sending me. I just want to state for the ones that have stated to me that it's too early for draco to be having pregnancy symptoms that what's happening to him right as far as his powers going haywire are of another matter.

I also want to thank Michele for Betaing my little fiction here. You�re the best !!!

If Only To Feel

Ch 11

Disclaimer : see chapter1

Shattering Glass: The Intoxication of A Kiss.

***

"Good morning Mr. Potter," called Professor McGonagall as she made her way down the long corridor heading his way. Her hair tied up in its usual bun as a slight smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Morning Professor," smiled Harry nodding in return as approached her from the opposite direction heading for the Great Hall.

"Dumbledore would like to see you in his office after breakfast, Mr. Potter, the password is Lemon Pixie Stixs," she stated stopping in front of him for a moment and smiling at him approvingly before continuing past not waiting for a response.

Shaking his head as he continued on his way to the great hall, Harry thought to himself, 'What does he want to talk with me about now' he wondered. Turning the corner quickly, he suddenly stopped in his tracks, his breath catching in his throat at the sight before him. The only thought that seemed to ring through his mind was: �beautiful.�.

~~~~

Draco stood looking out of the window at the fields below. The morning sun seemed to dance across his silvery blonde hair making it shine like spun silk as whispers of a gentle breeze flowed through the soft tresses concealing his face.

Sleep had eluded him last night as it had many nights for the past few months. �Not that anyone would or had noticed,� he mused. Looking out at the darkness of the forbidden forest, Draco shivered slightly. He had been so angry and hurt after Harry had left the previous day that the room had barely survived and he'd spent another evening curled up in his bed with a small ache in his chest.

Even before the tower and his night with Harry, Draco had felt this way, like a whirlpool of heat was building within him whenever he let his thoughts wander to one Harry Potter and fantasies of getting lost in those mesmerizing emerald eyes.

Leaning out towards the cool breeze filtering through the open window, Draco tilted his head back a little to let the morning sun cascade over his face. This had to be his favorite time of the day. The cool feel of the air on his skin as he inhaled the morning air. Letting a slight smiled cross his face as he breathed in the low sweet scent of vanilla.

�Would he miss this?� He wondered. He had never given much thought over the last few weeks to his decision. That was until last night. He hadn't wanted to think about all of the things he was going to be leaving behind. Like the feel of the sun and wind on his skin as he soared through the air on his broom playing Quidditch or walking to classes while Blaise and Pansy snickered another remark about the golden trio and even helping Crabbe and Goyle stumble their way through potions.

Sitting up late at night talking with Pansy and Blaise and hearing Pansy�s carefree laughter at some scatting remark Blaise makes about some unsuspecting person. Watching as the two of them tried sneaking glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. Draco couldn't help smiling to himself as he thought about this. They were nearly as bad as the Weasel and Granger. His actions were going to hurt them. Draco could only hope that someday his friends might be able to forgive him for leaving them to face their choices alone.

His heart gave a little lurch at the thoughts of his two closest friends. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt them. He was almost glad that he would not have to be around to see their faces when the news of his death was revealed.

Leaning a little further towards the open window Draco let the warmth of the morning sun caress his face. If only things had been different and his friendship with Potter had came earlier. Harry's actions had only confirmed what he had suspected and dreaded all along though. Harry would never trust him and without trust there could never be love, or even for that matter, a real friendship. It had been a hard realization as he had sat upon his bed the previous evening listening to the sound of crashing and breaking glass around him. He'd felt more alone at that moment then he'd ever before.

"Draco?"

Turning away from the window Draco stiffened as he found himself looking into concerned emerald orbs. It took everything in him not to smile at those eyes before him, not to simply walk over and wrap his arms around that slender body and inhale deeply, to savor the rich aroma that truly only belonged to Harry.

No, these were things he most certainly could not do.

"Morning Potter," he replied smoothly taking a step away from the window, his voice void of the emotion which burned inside him, "if you'll excuse me?"

Taking a step in front of the other boy to block his path, Harry shook his head.

"Draco, wait. I think we need to talk," stated Harry quickly.

"Nothing to talk about," replied Draco bitterly calm as he sidestepped the raven haired Gryffindor to continue down the hall. "I think you said everything that needed to be said yesterday."

*****

Frowning as he watched the blonde disappear down the hall, Harry shook his head in frustration and continued to the Great Hall. 'Fine, if Malfoy didn't want to talk to him, then so be it.' He thought angrily a few minutes later as he sat down to the table next to Seamus and began piling eggs and bacon onto his plate.

'Where is the bloody git?' he thought looking over at the empty seat. 'I thought he was coming straight here?�

"Seamus, has Malfoy been in for breakfast yet?" asked Harry looking over at his friend.

"No, I haven�t seen him," replied Seamus picking up a glass of juice.

Looking over at the empty chair where the object of his current frustration usually sat, Harry slowly sipped on his own glass of pumpkin juice. Who was he kidding? He really wanted� no needed to make this right between them and soon, before it was too late.

Glancing up at the sound of a few more students entering the Great Hall, Harry couldn't help the smile that crossed over his face as Draco finally appeared a moment later and began piling an enormous amount of fruit onto his plate.

"Well, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!" Seamus chuckled, stuffing a rather large piece of bacon into his mouth.

Looking over from his observation of the pale blonde, Harry frowned at the approaching image of Neville Longbottom as he entered the Great Hall. His eyes narrowed in displeasure even further as he watched the other boy's gaze veer over to where Draco was sitting before continuing on to his table.

He smirked slightly when Neville stumbled slightly as his gaze came back to the table and caught his own. Taking another sip of his pumpkin juice he glanced back over at the Slytherin table before continuing to eat.

*****

Mumbling a good morning to everyone before he started piling food onto his plate, Neville didn't bother to look in Harry's direction. He could feel the glare coming from the other boy the moment he entered the room.

Sighing inwardly, he resolved to ignore the looks being sent his way and the whispers following him around all morning since he began his journey to the Great Hall for breakfast. 'Well,� he thought as he began nibbling on a rather crispy piece of bacon, 'at least I'm getting rumored to be with one of the hottest guys at Hogwarts.�

Daring to look over to where Draco was sitting Neville smiled slightly catching the questioning flash of Draco's eyes. He just hoped that the Slytherin still wanted to be friends after this. He made a quick note to pick up some fresh strawberries on his next trip to Hogsmeade as looked back down at his breakfast smiling.

***

Draco licked his lips as he felt the sweet juice of the large strawberry trickle down his throat, savoring the flavor as it clung to his tongue. He wouldn't have even come to breakfast if his stomach hadn't made blaring demands on him since he'd woken up this morning. Then to top his morning off right he had to run into Harry first thing. Someone up there hated him.

Turning around to find himself gazing into those green pools was intoxicating. The aching need to throw himself at the ebony haired boy and cover those soft lips with his own while exploring the depths of that delectable mouth was overwhelming in its intensity and was nearly his undoing.

Then their conversation from the previous evening came rushing back to him. The intense feeling damping slightly as the anger and hurt seeped its way into his mind. His only option had been to get out of there as quick as possible.

Looking over at Harry now, Draco clenched his hand under the table.

'Damn him!' Draco thought before looking away. 'Damn him for making me feel this way!'

The fluttering sounds of wings filled the Great Hall suddenly distracting him from his thoughts. Looking up at the flying creatures he quickly saw both Blaise and Pansy's birds heading for him, both gracefully landing near him and sticking out their legs. Reaching out to untie the letter before giving both birds a treat, he smiled. It would be good to hear from his friends again.

Tucking the letters into the folds of his robe Draco continued eating with his mood a lot brighter than before. Missing the looks being sent his way, he exited the Great Hall a moment later.

***

It didn't take long for Neville to catch up to the preoccupied boy a few minutes later outside of the transfiguration classroom.

"Draco."

Turning to look over at the other boy Draco stopped. He hadn't talked to the other boy since the 'unfortunate incident', as he liked to think of it.

"What is it, Longbottom?" asked Draco quickly.

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened," stammered Neville taking a step forward bringing himself closer to the blonde. "I was hoping we could meet later."

Frowning, Draco shook his head.

"I don't think..."

"Just for a few minutes," interrupted Neville.

Studying the pleading expression of the other boy's face, Draco screamed at himself inwardly for his lack of conviction before agreeing to meet later. The smile that had flittered across the once shy Griffyndor's face made him wonder for a moment just what he had agreed to.

***

Rounding the corner Neville came up short before he plowed straight into the chest of one Harry Potter.

"Hello Neville," smiled Harry at the nervous boy.

"Oh...hey, Harry, I �I didn't see you there," stammered Neville nervously.

"So I gathered," remarked Harry quietly. "I was hoping to talk to you last night, but I never got a chance."

Neville shrugged. It had been way after curfew before he'd ventured into the common room of the Gryffindor tower. The other boys were sound asleep for the night, thankfully. There was no one to bother him with questions about Malfoy. He'd gotten up a little earlier before the others and went to the library before heading to breakfast.

"What did you need to talk to me about?" asked Neville, trying to smile.

"I wanted to talk to you about Malfoy, is all," stated Harry calmly. "I don't know how long the two of you have been together. I just wanted to make sure he's been treating you right...so..."

Running his fingers through his hair before sliding his hands into his pockets and bouncing a little Neville smiled. "I know it might be surprising to a lot of you, but Malfoy is really fun to be around. He's helped me out a lot this summer."

Letting his eyes rake over the form of the other young man, Harry nodded his head slightly. The once shy comrade had become more outspoken since the beginning of summer vacation only a short time ago. Harry was glad to see his friend come further out of his shell.

"So I can tell," replied Harry. "I guess I just never pictured you and him�"

"Oh no, it's not like that!" exclaimed Neville shaking his head vehemently.

"Come on Neville you don't have to deny it. We saw you. Remember?"

Opening his mouth to respond Neville was cut off as Harry quickly raised a hand forestalling any response he was about to say.

"I talked with Draco earlier and he also told be that the two of you are just friends. I just want to make sure that you were okay. I know the two of you haven't gotten along that well in the past. Considering everything he's done�you know Neville if you'd like to talk about�"

The flash of anger that crossed Neville's face was so fleeting that Harry wondered for a moment if he had really even seen it.

"I'm sorry Harry, I really need to go," stated Neville through clenched teeth. "As for me and Malfoy, well, I don't see where that is any of your business."

Harry's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched other boy storm off, a remark on his lips was stopped at the sound of two students coming down the hall from behind him. The voices of Seamus Finnigan and a giggling girl could clearly be heard not far away from him.

"Oh hey Harry," smiled Seamus coming to a stop right beside them with his arms sliding from around the waist of a young Ravenclaw girl, who looked rather put out at having been interrupted by having to stop and chat. "You gonna come to class today?"

Smiling, Harry nodded.

"Yeah Seamus I'll be there as soon as I go and see the Headmaster about something."

"Great, don't be late. You know how Professor McGonagall is."

***

"Aaah, Harry, how are you this fine morning?" beamed Albus Dumbledore as Harry sat down in the chair across from his desk. "Care for a Peach drop?" asked the old man, a definite twinkle in his eyes as he looked across at the raven-haired boy.

"No, thank you," replied Harry shaking his head as he sat down

'How in the bloody hell can someone be so cheerful first thing in the morning?' thought Harry.

"Ah well then, more for us eh Fawkes," smiled Dumbledore leaning back in his chair and popping another of the sugary confections into his mouth. "I was wondering how things were going for you so far Harry. I trust you and Mr. Malfoy are getting along?"

Sighing, Harry shrugged his shoulders. He really didn't want to talk about Malfoy right now. Everything seemed so out of order at the moment. Harry figured though that was something that the Headmaster probably didn't need to hear.

"We're not trying to kill each other. Guess that counts for something," he replied dryly after a moment. It was the truth after all.

Smiling as he nodded, Dumbledore seemed to study the young Gryffindor for a while. The old man always seemed to know something. As if a half-hidden truth or lie just beyond that damn little twinkle in his eyes as he watched you, making Harry want to squirm in his seat.

"I'm glad to hear you and Mr. Malfoy are getting along so well. Sadly the house rivalries have kept a lot of students from forming strong relationships with members of other houses," responded Dumbledore.

"You hope that if Draco and I become friends, it will encourage others to do the same thing?" asked Harry leaning forward in his seat a little.

Stroking his beard for a moment Dumbledore got up and made his way over to Fawkes cage. "Harry, do you believe the Malfoy's are all evil?" he asked after a moment.

"No," replied Harry without even thinking about it. "I don't know about Lucius or Narcissa Malfoy, but after spending a lot of time with Draco, I�m beginning to think he's not as big of a git as he let's on," replied Harry.

"Indeed," smiled Dumbledore quietly.

Turning around he smiled at Harry over moon shaped spectacles. "I believe classes will be starting soon. Why don't you run along Harry? I take it you�re still enjoying sitting in on some of the classes?�

"Yes, I do," smiled Harry as he stood up from his seat and headed for the door.

Dumbledore watched with a silent reserve as the young man known as the boy who lived walked out of his office before he looked over, smiling at the large bird.

"Something is coming, my friend," stated Dumbledore in a somber tone. "I can feel it."

The only answer was a bellowing squawk from the noble bird in the silence of the room.

****

The rest of the day seemed like sweet torture to Draco as he made his way through the castle. Harry seemed to show up at every class he was in. He, of course, had wanted to scream in frustration and annoyance. Just when he decided to give up on the friendship with the golden Gryffindor, Harry had taken it upon himself to make sure he did just the opposite. Of course, it could have been just a huge coincidence. After all, what were the chances that Harry was outside of at least two classes specifically waiting for him?

Transfiguration class started off just fine at first or at least until Harry had showed up about a minute before class and sat down next to him.

"Morning Draco," smiled Harry tentatively as he took a seat next to Draco.

Grumbling Draco barely nodded in response to Harry's cheerful greeting.

"Good Morning class," smiled Professor McGonagall as she entered the room a second later. "I'm glad that you all have taken an interest in furthering your knowledge of this class. I will tell you however," she stated firmly looking over her glasses at the group of students "that even though this is a summer course I will be expecting the same quality of work as always. These courses will count as extra credit in your upcoming years and will greatly influence your work later. Since it is the summer, house points will not be given nor taken until the start of the regular school year. I must remind you though that due to this detention will be given in place of deductions."

Looking around at the faces of her students, Minerva McGonagall smiled inwardly before turning to the blackboard.

"Now today we shall be going over transforming liquids."

Draco focused intently on listening to the lecture while he tried to ignore the looks being sent his way from one very annoying raven haired Gryffindor. Granted, Harry wasn�t actually bothering him, unless you say that being glanced at every few minutes wasn�t bothering. It was damn annoying though. Why couldn't Harry just leave him alone?

***

"Malfoy, you were wrong," stated Harry, not lifting his head from the pages of his text. "I think we have a lot to talk about."

Looking over at the tilted head of his once enemy Harry waited for a response.

Lowering his head, Draco let his hair fall, concealing his face from Harry's penetrating gaze

"I will not have this discussion with you Potter," hissed Draco through gritted teeth. "Not here."

"Fine, but where and when?" muttered Harry leaning a little closer Draco.

Looking over quickly Draco was startled to find himself merely inches away from Harry's face. He hadn't sensed when the other boy had move so close. The green orbs of Harry's eyes were mesmerizing as they seemed to take hold of Draco's own silver ones. Causing the silent blonde to feel a rather pleasant but unwelcoming stirring in his lower regions.

Draco's heartbeat sounded rather loud and ominous inside his head as he continued to gape at the other boy's face mere inches from his own. The fresh scent coming off of the Gryffindor was intoxicating to the blonde as it drifted over him. Pulling back suddenly Draco looked towards the front of the room as his hands clutched at the corners of his desk. 'Merlin, help me' he thought as he felt his pants tighten as the arousal in his pants harden even further. Lowering his gaze down to his book, Draco was desperately thankful that his flowing tresses seemed to hide the growing blush from Harry's view.

He didn't dare chance a glance at the other boy. Not for more times than he could guess did he thank whoever or whatever was responsible for wizarding robes. Forcing his attention to the head of the room, Draco did his best to ignore the quick glances being sent his way. A task which was easier said than done.

***

Sighing inwardly Harry leaned forward on his desk listening to the sounds of Professor McGonagall's voice as she lectured upon the properties of liquid metals. Truth be told, he hadn't been paying much attention. His mind seemed to refuse to get off the slight blonde sitting next to him.

Dumbledore believed that he and Malfoy could be what� friends? Well, at least not enemies. For awhile it looked as if friendship might actually be working. That was until he'd opened his mouth.

Peering over at Draco through hooded eyelashes, Harry bit his lips. What had he done that had been all that wrong? All he had done was show concern for a long time friend. It wasn't his fault that the ponce couldn't take a little criticism.

'Yeah but you hurt his feelings' sounded the little voice in his head. 'Besides what business is it of yours whether or not he's dating Neville?'

'He's my friend and I don't want to see him hurt,' he hissed inwardly.

�Who?� asked the little voice, �Neville�or Draco?�

.

Tearing his vision away from the blonde Harry shifted forward in his seat and frowned at his thoughts. For some reason the thought of Draco and Neville together bothered him. Ever since he's seen them in the hall he couldn't seem to get the image out of his head.

His thoughts were interrupted as clear glasses of liquids appeared before him. Looking around he noticed for the first time that the same glasses were on the other student's desks as well. Groaning inwardly, he sighed. 'Damn what had Professor McGonagal been saying?�

Well it wasn't like he was getting actual points for this class.

Biting his lower lip Harry looked over at Draco.

Reaching over to get Draco's attention, Harry's fingers had barely touched Draco's shoulder when a resounding thunderous crack could be heard throughout the classroom and shards of glass went flying everywhere.

Grabbing hold of Draco, Harry instinctively pulled the frightened Slytherin under the desk away from the falling pieces. 'What the hell just happened' he thought tucking Draco�s head under his chin and wrapping his arms protectively around the blonde's form as shards of glass fell and embedded themselves into the desktop above them. Cries of pain could be heard all around them.

The trembling blonde pushed closer to Harry as they covered their faces from the falling glass.

�What happened?� bellowed Professor McGonagall a moment later as she got up from covering a shaken girl. �Is anyone hurt?� she asked slightly worried as she dusted off bits of glass from her robes that left tiny scratches on her hands.

A mixture grumbling of no's and a few yes's filled the room as students rose shakily to their feet.

Shaking her head, the transfiguration teacher looked about the class at a few of the injured students. "All right, everyone to the infirmary. It doesn't look like anyone was seriously injured, but we must make sure none the less." She stated quickly ushering the students out of the classroom while pulling a few shards of glass from her hair.

'What in the world happened?' she thought looking back at the shattered pieces of glass everywhere before following the students down the hall to the waiting hands of Madam Pomfrey, not noticing the two forms clutched tightly together under a desk.

***

Draco felt his body trembling slightly as he drew closer to the warmth of the body holding him. The feel of Harry's hand touching him had sent a wave of shock through out his whole body earlier. It had been such a small touch but the results had been shocking. �Had he caused this?�

He could feel it happening, and just like before. He could do nothing to stop it. The resulting screams as the glass cylinders around the room shattered into pieces sent a cold chill down his spine as he felt his body being jerked to the floor and covered. It didn't take a genius to figure out who had grabbed him. His body's reaction betrayed that fact. He only prayed that the raven-haired Gryffindor didn't notice.

Merlin, why did Harry have to sit in on this class? He bloody hell didn't need to. His senses seemed to be filled with Harry's presence. It had taken all his concentration not to grab hold of Harry and explore that sweet beautiful mouth.

"Malfoy?" asked Harry, gently stroking the trembling form of his once enemy. "Come on, I think we should go see Madam Pomfrey."

Pushing away slightly to tilt his head, Draco found himself looking into bright green emerald eyes only a few inches from his own. Draco's breathing seemed to stop as he felt Harry's warm breath caress his cheek, the soft luscious lips barely a few inches from his own.

Draco groaned slightly as he felt his control slip and found himself capturing Harry's stunned lips with his own. The taste was so sweet, like pure honey. Intoxicating like wine and Draco couldn't seem to get enough. His senses were reeling as he pressed up further against the other boy. Harry felt so good and warm and firm against Draco's trembling form.

The crunching sound of broken glass being stepped on sent a cold wave of realization down his spine. The reality of what he was doing hit him full force as he suddenly jumped back from the warmth of Harry's body and fell backwards hissing in pain as his left hand seemed to get sliced upon some of the scattered pieces of glass.

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter?"

Cradling his hand as he jumped to his feet, Draco turned to face an extremely stern looking McGonagall. Refusing to look behind him at Harry, Draco winced as held his hand to his chest.

"Professor."

"When I said everyone to the infirmary Mr. Malfoy that also included you and Mr. Potter," chided Professor McGonagall looking past Draco to where Harry was now standing.

Harry's voice sounded slightly strained as it came from behind Draco.

"Sorry Professor. We got kind of distracted. What happened?"

"I'm not sure," she answered softening her features as she looked at him before letting her gaze fall on Draco. "Are you both alright?"

"Yes," replied Draco before Harry could answer, "only a few scratches on my hand."

Letting her line of view fall towards Draco's cradled hand, she nodded. "Well it doesn't appear that you're hurt too bad. I suggest you go see Madam Pomfrey anyway."

"Thank you," replied Draco, snatching up his bag as he moved swiftly past the older woman and out the door, avoiding the intense gaze being sent his way from behind him as he rushed off out of the classroom.

"Excuse me Professor," muttered Harry rushing past her and out the door after Draco.

"Malfoy wait, I think�." trailed off Harry's voice as he looked down the empty halls meeting nothing but silence.

Biting his lip, Draco watched from the darkened corridor, as Harry looked down the empty hall frowning before finally turning and sprinting down the halls to the infirmary.

Pressing slightly trembling fingers to his lips, Draco smiled faintly at the sweet flavor of Harry still present there. Glancing down the hall where Harry had once stood, Draco turned, making his way towards the dungeons, never noticing as the sliced skin of his hand sealed itself, leaving no mark, as if they were never there.

*****

Well, what'd you think? I know not much action, sorry about that. Click on over and review!!
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If Only To Feel...