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Lost and Found	By : TheLibrarian Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 3257 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter and all his friends (and enemies) are the brain-child of J.K.
Rowling. I�m just borrowing them. Exclusive ownership belongs to JKR, Arthur A.
Levine Books and Scholastic Inc. Jane Sinclair and all additional characters
belong to me. You belong to yourself.

***

Oh, can't you see

You belong to me?

How my poor heart aches

With every step you take

Every move you make

Every vow you break

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake

I'll be watching you

Every Breath You
Take, The Police

Chapter
Eleven � I�ll Be Watching You

Jane was
sitting on a bench overlooking the lake, enjoying the spring sunshine. It was
one of her favorite places on the Hogwarts grounds, and she spent much of her
leisure time here, far away from the hustle and bustle of the school.

�Professor,
I was, erm, wondering whether I might have a word
with you?�

She looked up
from the book she was reading to find Basil Nightshade standing before her. He
was shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

�Professor
Nightshade,� she greeted him pleasantly. �I thought I�d asked you to call me
Jane?�

�Yes, erm,� Nightshade sputtered. �Very well.�

She
presented him with a warm smile. �Good. So, what can I do for you?�

�I am not intruding?�

�Of course
not, Professor,� she nodded encouragingly and patted the empty spot on the
bench beside her. �In fact, I�m longing for some company. Remus, um, Professor Lupin is somewhat under the weather��

�Yes,�
Nightshade wiped his forehead and sat down stiffly. �The Wolfsbane
Potion has some rather nasty side effects. I hope your friend recovers soon.�

�So do I,�
Jane sighed, but she quickly perked up. �Until he does, however, I have you to
talk to, Basil. May I call you Basil?�

He colored
slightly and coughed, embarrassed. �Why, erm,
of course, Miss, erm, uh, Jane.�

�Great. So,
tell me, Basil, what did you want to talk to me about?�

�Well, erm,� Basil stuttered, and Jane nodded encouragingly. He
took heart. �I was planning on preparing a few tricky brews and salves for
Madam Pomfrey, and, erm, I
remember you mentioning� that is, you expressed interest in assisting me, and��

�Of course,�
Jane exclaimed excitedly. �When do you need me?�

�Well, this
evening,� he suggested and amended quickly, �but only if it is convenient with
you.�

�I�ll be
there,� Jane assured him.

�Good. Hm, well� good.�
A happy smile spread across his tired features. �I shall leave you to your
book, then. Until this evening.�

Jane watched
him clamber awkwardly to his feet and waved after him, as he made his way back
to the castle. A tiny smile stole across her lips and she opened the book and
searched for the place she left off. She never noticed the dark figure lurking
in the shadows, watching her every move.

***

�Some
Moroccan poppy to dull the pain,� Basil told Jane that evening, as they began
their work on a healing salve. He was grinding ingredients in a mortar, while
she was chopping up various roots and bulbs. �A pinch of mandrake root to calm
the senses, relax the body� Not that it is needed, of course, but it does help
against hysteria.� He winked at her, and Jane giggled. �The sight of blood can
upset the most mild-mannered person��

�No wonder
Madam Pomfrey is so generous with her Sleeping
Draught,� she giggled louder, as she thought of Hogwarts� healer going from bed
to bed, knocking out all her patients.

�Professor
Nightshade, I brought you the�� Severus froze mid-step as his eyes fell on
Jane.

�What?�
Basil looked up. �Oh, it�s you, Professor. Sorry. I didn�t hear you come in.�

�I�m not
interrupting?� Severus drawled suggestively.

�What? Oh no, of course not.� Basil missed the innuendo completely.
�Prof�, erm, Jane is assisting me in preparing a Salva Sepsis. Madam Pomfrey has
run out of it. This year�s students are apparently more accident-prone than
usual.�

�Yes,�
Severus nodded noncommittally, his eyes never leaving Jane. He approached them
and handed a vial to Basil.

The sight of
Jane, bent over the work bench, took him back to their time at the Shrieking
Shack, when she�d prepared potion after potion under his watchful gaze.
Sometimes, he had also allowed her to assist him. They had worked side by side,
in comfortable silence, and she had impressed him with her intuition. She had
always seemed to know what he required next, or how he wanted his ingredients
prepared. Sometimes their elbows had touched, sometimes their bodies, but he
had not minded. It had been comforting, reassuring that he wasn�t completely
alone in the world. He�d lived for that innocent physical contact. But seeing
her now here with Nightshade, in a similar situation, upset him not little. The
idea of the old man�s hands on Jane made him see red.

�So, you two
seem very cozy,� he drawled disdainfully.

�What?!� Basil�s head shot up, and he colored slightly.
�Just what are you implying, Snape?�

�Severus,
please,� Jane pleaded with him.

He ignored
her and turned to Basil. �Miss Sinclair here, has a
soft spot for hopeless cases. The more pathetic, the better.
What?� Severus glared at her with unconcealed contempt. �Is one decrepit fool
not enough for you?! Do you need another one for your collection?�

Jane stared
at Severus, her anger growing by the second. �If you have any decency, you�ll
leave now.�

Nightshade
put down his pestle. �Now, see here, Snape,� he warned the younger man. �I
cannot stand idly by and let you insult her like that��

Jane tried
to hold him back, but Basil � always the gentleman � stepped protectively in
front of her. �Apologize this instant.�

Severus
scoffed, mildly surprised. �You can�t be serious, old man?�

�I most
certainly am. Apologize to the lady!�

�Well!�
Severus let his gaze slide depreciatingly over Jane. �Old Nightshade here seems
to be more of a man than Lupin. He, at least, is
willing to fight his own battles, instead of hiding behind your skirts.�

�Remus is
only holding back out of consideration for me,� Jane explained. �Otherwise, he
would have torn you to pieces long ago.�

Severus
shrugged noncommittally. �If you say so.�

�I�m
beginning to think that I should have let him,� she snapped. �Now, if you�re
done insulting me and my friends, would you please have the decency to leave?
Basil and I have work to do.�

�No doubt,�
Severus sneered suggestively. �Just be careful. Don�t overtax the old man�s
heart.�

He abruptly
turned on his heels and strode from the room.

�Basil is a gentleman,�
Jane yelled after him. �Unlike you!�

�Well I never��
Basil muttered.

Jane sighed.
�I�m sorry, Basil. He had no right to say those nasty things about you��

�He insulted
you!�

�Don�t worry
about me. It isn�t the first time, he�s snapped at me.�

�Are you
telling me this brute, this cur, has abused you like this before?�

Basil�s
righteous outrage was endearing. Apparently, chivalry wasn�t dead, yet.

�It�s all
right,� Jane shrugged. �Severus is not a people person.�

�Why are you
making excuses for him?�

Jane blushed
under his quizzical gaze and returned to chopping up some mandrake root. �I�m
not,� she mumbled lamely.

He remained
silent, and when she chanced a glance at him, she realized that he was still
watching her. She colored more vividly, and Basil took in a sharp breath.

�You�re in
love with him,� he stated flatly, his voice dripping with disappointment and
hurt.

�Basil, I��
Jane began to explain, but he held up a hand.

�No, don�t
tell me,� he interrupted her. �I don�t want to know.�

�I never��

�You can
leave,� he told her quietly. �I can manage on my own now.�

�Basil��
Jane tried one last time, but he turned away, indicating that he was done with
her.

She wiped
her hands and walked away. At the door, she turned around and watched him doggedly
working on his potion. �I�m sorry, Basil.�

He did not
look up.

***

Severus
strode swiftly towards his quarters, unable to get Jane out of his mind. And she
didn�t make it easy on him. Damn her! She kept flaunting Lupin
and Nightshade in his face, talking and laughing with them as though she didn�t
have a care in the world. But Lupin would laugh back
and make light, whereas Nightshade would color slightly and stand more erect.
His colleague was definitely smitten with Jane, and Severus couldn�t understand
why she encouraged the old goat. Nightshade must be close to sixty, he
calculated quickly, as he entered the sanctuary of his office. What was it with
women and older men? He�s a gentleman, Jane�s words rung in his ears. Unlike
you! Severus scoffed, poured himself a generous glass of Firewhiskey and downed it in one gulp. The fire burning
down his throat momentarily took his breath away and drove tears into his eyes.
He gave a gasping cough and threw the glass into the fire.

Afterwards, Severus
stared into the dying fire, unseeing. Unlike you! Jane had thrown at
him. He�s a gentleman. A gentleman. He scoffed
again. He�d never pretended to be a gentleman. And yet, Jane had always
believed that there was good in him. That he was a worthy person. Jane!
He groaned. He still desired her � that was the problem. It irritated him that
such a slip of a woman would have such an effect on him. She had crept under
his skin and affected his thinking. She had reduced him to an irrational fool.
Whenever he ran into her, he behaved no better than those hormone-driven
teenagers he was forced to teach.

He recalled
her shocked expression when she first clapped her eyes on him that fateful
night at number twelve Grimmauld
Place. From that moment on, she had occupied his
waking hours and invaded his dreams. During the time they�d shared at the
Shrieking Shack, she had refused to be intimidated and bullied by him. No one
had ever done that. Oh, they had tried. He smiled sardonically. Potter was only
the last in a row of students who had tried to defy him, but never
succeeded. No, it had been simple
unassuming Jane Sinclair who, quietly and steadily, had stood her ground. Yes,
she had stood up to him. And on Christmas Eve she had given him a glimpse of
Heaven. Severus walked into his bathroom and scrutinized himself in the mirror.
His expression turned into a grimace of self-loathing. Why couldn�t he be like
other men? Handsome and sophisticated, polite and
approachable. Those were the qualities women were looking for, weren�t
they? Women didn�t care for dark, brooding, cynical, unpleasant men. Or did
they?

Jane hadn�t
seemed to mind. She�d kissed him voluntarily, and as much as he�d tried, he had
not detected any pity in her eyes that night. No, the only time Jane had looked
at him with contempt, was when she had visited him in Azkaban and he had
humiliated her. But on Christmas Eve, she had looked at him with something akin
to love in her eyes. And, fool that he was, he�d
ignored what she had offered him that night. He�d knowingly denied himself one
night of pleasure, one night of feeling the comfort of a warm body next to his,
one night of holding a willing woman in his arms. He cursed as he felt his body
awaken with the memory of how Jane had melted into his arms. He recalled how she
had pressed her body against his, how her generous curves had molded against
him. Her kiss had been his undoing. It had set free all the emotions and
desires he�d suppressed for so long.

Severus
sighed and splashed some cold water onto his face, sucking in his breath at the
icy sensation against his skin. It did nothing to lessen his arousal, and he
cursed again. Damn woman! The mere memory of her made him lose control over his
body. Damnation! He pressed his forehead against the cool mirror, trying to will
his arousal into submission. Jane�s image, however, kept haunting him. His
favorite image of her was the way she�d looked on Christmas Eve, donned in that
midnight blue velvet dress. It had clung to her body in the most provocative
way, hinting at the secret pleasures that lay beneath. His eyes closed shut as
his hand slid under his robes and to the fastenings of his trousers.

***

Jane walked
slowly back to her chambers. She longed to talk to Remus, but she knew he had
locked himself in his rooms indefinitely. No doubt, Tonks
was somewhere nearby, in case he needed her. She sighed. She really needed a
friend. Especially, now that Severus had managed to alienate Basil. It hurt her
that Basil had dismissed her so quickly, without giving her a chance to explain.
His reaction had been completely unexpected � but she understood. She�d been
aware of his infatuation with her, but she�d never encouraged him, never
offered him more than friendship. She knew she shouldn�t feel guilty, but she
couldn�t help it. Because of her, the gentle old soul had been insulted and
hurt. Severus� malicious comments had been in poor taste and completely
unprovoked. Since his return from Azkaban, he�d been more disagreeable and
forbidding than ever. Jane had heard of prison of changing a person, but even
this was extreme.

Severus
avoided her intentionally, restricting their contact to the regular faculty
situations. On the few occasions he did speak to her, he was cold and distant �
as though they�d never shared any time together, as though they�d never kissed.
He treated her as he would a stranger, and it irked her that he could still
affect her so. He would watch her, yes, but he never came to her. Severus would
often see her with Remus or Basil and glower darkly, before receding back into
the shadows. Sometimes Jane wished that he would show some kind of emotion, give some kind of indication that he�d missed her.
In her dreams, he would rush over and voice his displeasure at seeing her with
another man. He would grasp her possessively and drag her away. But in reality,
Severus always remained distant. Frequently, he would just abruptly turn on his
heels and stride away, his robes billowing angrily after him.

Later that
night, safely tucked into her bed, she pondered the strange hold Severus seemed
to have over her. The man had made it clear, he didn�t want her. He was cold
and distant towards her, and yet she couldn�t let him go. Jane frowned. She
probably qualified as a masochist, yearning for a man who kept humiliating her.
Why couldn�t she have been happy with Basil? Sure, he was almost twice her age,
but he was nice and safe, solid and dependable � the perfect companion. He
respected her as a colleague and a woman. And he adored her. He was the perfect
gentleman, which, she had to admit, on occasion was more insulting than
flattering. She knew she should have been satisfied, but that was a thing of
the past now, anyway. After tonight, she could count herself lucky, if Basil
even acknowledged her.

***

�This feels
good.� Remus took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of spring.

He and Jane
were strolling along the lake. It was a week after the full moon, and Remus had
felt the need to get outdoors. He was still leaning heavily on his cane, but
the fresh air seemed to invigorate him. Jane was walking quietly beside him.
Remus looked at her and smiled.

�Will you
tell me what�s going on with you, or are you going to mope about all
afternoon?�

Jane sighed.
�I don�t want to trouble you.�

�Severus?�

She slanted
him a suspicious look. �Why do you ask if you already know everything?�

�I merely
guessed,� he smiled mischievously. �He has a knack for making enemies, and I
have the uncanny ability to add two and two together.�

�What?� He�d
managed to confuse her.

Remus shrugged.
�During breakfast this morning, I noticed the venomous stares Nightshade kept
throwing at Severus. I also noticed that Nightshade gave you the cold
shoulder.�

�Clever,�
Jane grimaced, but said no more.

�Well, come
on,� he finally asked, obviously curious. �Out with it.�

�Oh, fine,�
she snapped. �If you must know, Severus was his usual nasty self, accusing me
of trying to two-time you with Basil.�

Remus�
eyebrows shot up. �Really?!�

�You should
have heard the vile things he said. Basil didn�t take it very well, I�m afraid.
I tried to explain��

�So, Basil
thinks you and I�?�

�No,� Jane
sighed. �He guessed that there was something between Severus and me. That
he didn�t take well, at all. I can�t blame him.�

�I see.�
Remus coughed, and Jane grasped his arm in support.

�Are you
OK,� she asked him, worry written over her face.

He waved her
off. �I�m alright.�

They walked
in silence for a while, until Remus spoke again. �Have you talked to Severus?�

�No, but
I�ve been meaning to. There are so many unresolved issues between us� The
problem is, he�s avoiding me like the plague. He keeps
lurking in the shadows, but when I try to talk to him, he stalks off. If I
didn�t know any better�� Jane rubbed her temples. She felt a headache coming
on. �Oh, what�s the use?�

�Jane,�
Remus touched her shoulder. �As much as I hate to say this, but I think in his
own twisted way, Severus cares for you. Now, I know,� he raised his hand to
silence her protest, �it�s kind of difficult to grasp. Heaven knows, I hate to
even contemplate it, but remember, I�ve known him
since we were in school together. He never had any friends or family to speak
of, and I�m certain that he�s never learned what it means to love and be
loved.�

�Don�t you
think I know all that,� Jane cried. �I went to him on Christmas Eve and he
showed me his true self. Beneath that cold untouchable exterior is a lonely and
desperate man with a dark past filled with pain and self-loathing.
Deep down he�s a man who longs to be loved with all his being. Certainly you
can understand that?�

Remus nodded
earnestly, but remained silent.

�But he has
changed since Azkaban, Remus. I don�t know what happened to him. You don�t
think�� She considered it for a moment, but then shook her head. �No, never
mind.�

�What?�

�You don�t
suppose, he could be an impersonator? Or under the Imperius Curse?�

Remus shook
his head. �I�ve already thought of that, but, no, I don�t think that�s the
case. He�s his usual self, just more surly. My guess is,
he�s jealous.�

�Jealous,�
Jane exclaimed, unbelieving.

He shrugged.
�He behaves the way I want to, when someone looks at Dora. I feel like tearing
apart any man who ogles her. I bet Severus never felt like this before, or so
strongly, and he simply doesn�t know how to react.�

�Is that why
you didn�t kick his teeth in, when he accused us� well, you know� of having an
affair?�

Remus smiled
sadly, something akin to pity in his eyes. �Strange as it may sound, I feel
sorry for the man.�

***

Severus was
coming down the stairs to the entrance hall, when Lupin
and Jane returned from their stroll. Lupin was
leaning heavily on his cane, but Jane didn�t seem to mind. She had her arm
hooked in his and laughed gaily at something he said. She slapped him playfully
on the arm. Severus scowled. Her eyes were sparkling mirthfully, her cheeks
were sun-kissed and her hair mussed by the wind. She�d never looked lovelier,
and his heart constricted painfully. With an angry growl, he turned abruptly and
started up the stairs again.

***

Jane
escorted Remus back to his office, making sure that their outing hadn�t tired
him too much. After promising to join him and Tonks
for an evening on the town once he felt better, she slowly made her way back to
her own rooms, mulling over their conversation. She wanted to believe that
Severus was acting like a lunatic, because he couldn�t come to terms with his
feelings for her. But then she had to laugh at herself. Come on, Jane,
she scolded herself. How conceited could she get? How could she compare herself
to Circe or Lorelei, who bewitched men with their beauty? She was no Siren or
supermodel. She did not turn men�s heads. She�

�bumped into
something solid and bounced off a figure dressed entirely in black. Her eyes
traveled over the severe black outfit, recognizing the button-down tunic.
Severus made no attempt to steady her, and she hovered precariously for a
moment, struggling for balance.

�Oh, for the
love of�� Severus ground out impatiently, and his hands shot out to prevent her
from tipping over.

When he
assured himself that she was standing firmly on her feet, he let go of her and
turned to leave.

�Oh no, you
don�t!� It slipped over her lips, before she could stop herself.

Severus
froze and whirled around. �What?!�

�I must talk
to you,� she told him firmly. �Your irrational behavior has to stop.�

He stepped
closer and thrust his face into hers. �What did you just say?�

Jane gulped.
�The way you keep antagonizing me, whenever we meet� the way you insult and
humiliate my friends and drive away my acquaintances� You�re being completely
unreasonable.�

�Me?!� Severus turned on her, his eyes flashing angrily. �What
about you? Prancing around just so, making googly-eyes
at a known werewolf! Does Nymphadora know how you shamelessly
throw yourself at Lupin?�

�Shamel�,� Jane sputtered,
unprepared for his attack. �Why, you� you bastard! Remus and Tonks are my friends. I have spent thirteen years alone,
without friends, without family. It was tearing me apart. And, now, I suddenly
have found two wonderful people, who have included me in their lives. They
accept me for who I am and they support me. I know how much they love each
other. How devoted they are to each other. I would never � do you hear? � never come between them and destroy what they have.
Don�t you dare accuse me of doing something so despicable.�
She shook her head sadly. �But you don�t know any better, do you? You don�t
need. You don�t feel. I wonder what I ever saw in you!�

She turned
to leave, but he caught her hand in an iron grasp. His eyes were bright with
unconcealed fury and something else she couldn�t quite put her finger on. �Don�t
you walk away from me!�

�Let me go,
Severus.� She tried to yank her hand away from him, but he maintained his firm hold. �You have made it quite clear what you think of
me. I don�t care to remain in the company of someone who has such a low opinion
of me. Just� just leave me alone from now on. That�s all I ask.�

A couple of
students hurried past them, giggling loudly.

Severus
rolled his eyes and tugged at her hand. �Let�s continue this conversation
somewhere more private.�

�I�m not
going anywhere with you,� Jane protested, but he just ignored her.

He hauled
her behind him as he strode down the hallway, oblivious to the curious glances they
drew.

===

Lost and
Found � 2005 by MMHG

===
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