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Harry Potter and the Secret Link	By : LeAnnRingo Category: Harry Potter Crossovers > General - Misc Views: 3407 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
~*~*~*~*Harry Potter and the Secret Link*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*Capricious Purple Clarity*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*Chapter Eleven*~*~*~*~

The moment Draco saw his father prancing around in a pink
frock with a white bonnet hiding the man’s long, pale hair,
the Malfoy heir knew that he was in for a strange dream.

His father looked at him solemnly and said gravely, “In God we
trust; all other’s must pay cash.(1)” Which didn’t make sense,
really; Lucius Malfoy wasn’t what one would call a religious
man, especially when the muggles’ god came up.

“What?” Draco asked, dumbfounded. Then a tree ate his father.

“Thanks,” Draco said, “but now I’ll never get my pony.”

“You’re welcome,” the tree replied. “But why would you want a
pony when you can’t even take care of your cat?”

The tree had a good point.

So Draco wandered through the thick purple foliage of the
jungle, thinking that it would be quite nice if he had a map
until he stumbled upon some archaic temple with intricate
carvings all over the walls. When he payed closer attention to
the carvings as he traveled up the lengthy stone steps, he was
both shocked and amused to notice that the carvings depicted
different people participating in the act of fornication.
There even looked to be one of a man having sexual relations
with what could have been a sheep, or a really fluffy dog.

He couldn’t help but wonder if one of Maxwell’s ancestors had
a hand in that.

When he walked into the cavernous room, there was someone
there, kneeling in front of three rows of candles; some had
been lit, and some had not.

“Hn,” the other boy said. “Omae o korosu.”

Draco was confused. “What? Hey, where am I?”

“Arkansas,” the boy replied flatly. “Baka.” And then he
disappeared.

“Hey, wait!... Bloody hell, where is Arkansas?”

“Arkansas is here, but not really,” came another voice. Draco
turned to see a rather rotund man wearing a loin cloth sitting
on an unadorned pedestal. The bald, fat Asian man was smiling
quite cheerfully at the Malfoy heir.

“Ew,” Draco said, making a face. “Put a shirt on.”

“In this heat?” the man laughed jovially, his belly rippling.
“I’ll pass.”

It was around that point that an entire chorus line of
identical skinnier bald Asian men (that, strangely enough,
resembled the fat one a lot) pranced from the dark entryways
surrounding the room. They all linked elbows and began kicking
their skinny legs in the air. Right knee, right leg. Left
knee, left leg. They continued on in that pattern as they sang
in harmony.

“Oh, I wish I were an Os-car Mayer Wie-ner!

That is what I’d tru-ly like to be.

‘Cause if I were an Os-car May-er Wie-ner,

Ev-ery one would be in love with me!”

“Who is this Oscar Mayer,” Draco demanded irritably, “and why
does everyone want to be his wiener?”

“That is a question to be asked another day, little fox,” said
one skinny man.

“I’m not a fox,” Draco replied, “I’m a person!”

“And I’m not a person,” said the same man, “I’m a dog.” And he
was.

Draco turned from the dog, whose tail was wagging happily as
his tongue lolled out from the side of his grinning maw, to
glare at the smiling fat man. “What’s this all about? Tell
me!”

The jolly man grinned and held out both hands. “A balanced
diet is a cookie in each hand.”

“That diet doesn’t seem to be working out for you,” Draco
pointed out scathingly.

“That’s what you think,” the man said nonchalantly before he
stuffed one of the cookies into his mouth. “Draco, wake up!”

“What?”(2)

“Draco! Wake up!”

Draco found himself in the land of the waking once again,
blinking dazedly up at the familiar stone ceiling above his
bed. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Vincent had taken
the liberty of pulling the green drapes around his bed to peek
down at Draco. The Malfoy heir was so relieved at having been
torn from his dream that he didn’t even bother scolding
Vincent for that minor infraction of privacy.

“What?” Draco snapped testily, sitting up.

“Professor Snape wants you downstairs. Millicent went to get
Pansy, too.”

Draco sniffed, yanking the drape to the side violently as he
slid from his bed. He hazily recalled he’d been so exhausted
after the events of the day that he’d simply thrown himself in
bed and fell to sleep without bothering to even kick off his
shoes. He paused before the mirror, taking the time to make
sure his hair was in perfect order before he left the dorm
room. Before he left, he noticed something odd in the
reflection of the room behind him.

“Vince,” Draco said slowly, “why are there two new beds in
here?”

“What?”

“I said -never mind. How could you-“ Not notice there were
seven beds where there had always been five? “Never mind.
Look, Vince -count the beds.”

Vincent turned and looked, counting the beds slowly before a
look of confusion came over his face. The look was oddly
identical to the look that tended to overcast his face during
most classes. “There are seven.”

“Yes, Vince. There are seven.”

“But there are only five of us.”

Draco counted to ten. Patience, he knew. Patience with
Vincent. It wasn’t Vincent’s fault Crabbe Senior went and
married his first cousin. “Right, Vince. And Snape wants to
talk to me and Pansy, the sixth year prefects, downstairs.
What conclusion can you draw from this?”

Vincent thought about it. “That... we have two new students?”

“Phrase it in the form of an answer, Vince.”

“That we have two new students,” Vincent repeated.

“That’s right, Vince. Very good.”

Vincent grinned proudly. Draco could only hope that teaching
the other how to draw accurate conclusions would help him
actually survive in the real world.

“But why would we have two new students in the middle of the
first semester?”

“That’s what I’m about to find out, hopefully,” Draco replied
before leaving his dorm room.

Not many people knew or realized that the Slytherin dorm rooms
were actually below the common room, which was part of the
dungeons, but they wouldn’t have been surprised by it. What
would have surprised many was the fact that, even though a
Slytherin had to walk downstairs to get to his or her dorm
room, Slytherins still resided in one of the seven towers of
Hogwarts. For some reason, Slytherins had a lot of trouble
explaining this to the scant few muggleborns that were worthy
enough to be Sorted into Slytherin.

“As the sixth year prefects, I wanted to inform you personally
that we have two new students joining Slytherin House,” Snape
said, cutting right to the chase.

“Either of them girls?” Pansy asked. She’d always been quite
miffed that the boy-girl ratio of Slytherin was five to three.
Draco had offered them Blaise to even things up, but that one
joke on Blaise’s feminine appearance got his bed short-sheeted
once.

“No,” Snape replied, “both are male.”

“Why do we get two new students in the middle of the year?”
Draco asked.

“They’re from the colonies,” Snape replied with a tone that
clearly stated he wanted no more questions about the matter.
“In fact, they’re friends of Maxwell’s.”

Friends of Maxwell’s. “Spirits preserve us,” Draco muttered
wearily.

“We seemed to have gotten off light,” Snape replied
grudgingly. “Both are nothing like that walking disaster. I
want you two to ignore any odd quirks about them, and
encourage the rest of Slytherin House to do the same.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Of course, Professor.”

“Good. Wait here while I retrieve them.” With a billow of his
black robes, he turned on his heels and went toward the common
room entrance at a steady pace.

“Odd,” Pansy murmured.

“What’s odd,” Draco murmured back, “is that, instead of
answering my question, Severus simply told us where they are
from. He’s never directly avoided answering my questions
before.”

Pansy squealed quietly as she glanced over Draco’s shoulder.
“Oooh! They’re so cute!”

Oh, spirits. Draco sighed and braved a glance. They were cute,
damn it all -one was taller than the other, with light brown
hair that fell over one side of his handsome face, leaving
only one green eye to look into. He was wearing odd muggle
clothes; those blue jean things, which always looked so tight
to Draco, and a turtle neck jumper that fairly clung to his
torso and arms. The other had a darker complexion, with messy
chocolate brown hair and solemn Prussian eyes. He, too, wore
those jean-trouser things with a rather revealing sleeveless,
low-neck olive green shirt.

“These are the Slytherin prefects for your year,” Snape said
without preamble. “This is Draco Malfoy, and her name is Pansy
Parkinson. Malfoy, Parkinson, this is Heero Yuy,” a wave
toward the shorter of the two, “and Trowa Barton. I’ll leave
you two to inform them of the rules and how things are done in
Slytherin House.”

“Yes, Professor,” Pansy murmured demurely. Snape nodded once,
sharply, before leaving.

“Something’s got his knickers in a twist,” Draco commented.

“Ew, Draco,” Pansy muttered faintly. “I don’t want to think
about the man’s knickers.”

“Just yesterday you were admiring his bum, and now you don’t
want to think about his knickers?”

“That was you,” Pansy shot back with a smirk. Damn her.

“Welcome to Slytherin House,” Draco said flatly. “If you
bother asking anyone from any other house at Hogwarts, they’ll
tell you we’re all a bunch of vile, evil little cockroaches
with no remorse for who we exploit, and our places in Hell
have been reserved ever since we were old enough to talk.”

“They’re probably right,” Pansy said with a shrug. “We don’t
know, and we don’t care. Our House motto is ‘admit nothing,
deny everything, and make counter-accusations.’”

“A close second is ‘if you can smile when something goes
wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.’” Draco waved a hand
around. “This is the Slytherin common room. As you can see,
it’s empty. That’s because curfew is in five minutes, and
students either finishing their homework or doing something
nefarious elsewhere. Fellow Slytherins usually don’t care what
you do unless you get caught.”

“Snape will warn you twice if you’re caught out after curfew,”
Pansy added. “Any other professor will dole out punishment as
due. Because of the social situations in the wizarding world,
many professors will demand what you’re doing, so be cautious
if you have to be out after curfew. Slytherins have the label
of being potential Death Eaters, so getting caught outside
after curfew will immediately put you on a list of Students
Who Might Be Death Eaters, and then you’ll be watched
closely.”

“Boys can’t enter the girls dormitory, which is located to the
left,” Draco pointed. “However, apparently boys are allowed to
invite girls into their dorms, which is the staircase to the
right. Either that, or the higher ups haven’t quite figured
this whole hormonal thing out yet. Either way, if you must
have female company and require privacy, it’s an unwritten
rule for the other boys to vacate the dorm.”

“Slytherin House is like your family,” Pansy added. “That
means even if we don’t like someone in this house, we’ll rally
to their side in an instant. No one else will stick up for us,
so we stick up for each other. Don’t bother mistaking that for
loyalty. We’re just as quick to twist the knife on one we
don’t like.”

“Keep the internal quarrels private,” Draco said. “We’re a
close-knit band, and we don’t like our inner battles aired to
the rest of the houses.”

“If you have any questions,” Pansy said, “feel free to ask
someone that you trust within the House. Prefects are safe
bets to getting your questions truthfully answered. It’s best
that you keep your possessions in your dorm or in your trunk.
Slytherins have a strict finders-keepers policy. If one is
dense enough to leave his or her possessions out for anyone to
find, then it is clear to the finder that one does not deserve
it. You should ward your trunk, as well. Some less scrupulous
Slytherins will go to lengths to find something to borrow
without any intention of bringing anything back.”

“Another unwritten rule,” Draco said, “is to be patient when
someone is not too quick on the uptake. Inbreeding is most
likely the culprit to a lot of rampant stupidity around here.
If you can’t exercise patience, ignore them.”

“We’ll take you to the sixth year boys dormitory,” Pansy said.
They took the steps downward and walked down a short hallway
before they hit the door marked Sixth Years. When they
entered, the dorm appeared to be empty save for Blaise, who
appeared to be reading a book before he went to bed.

“Hey, did you know we have two extra beds in here?” Blaise
commented, not even looking up from his apparently entrancing
passage.

“I noticed,” Draco commented dully. “Barton, Yuy, this is
Blaise Zabini, the second vainest guy in Slytherin.”

“Second only to you, Malfoy,” Blaise quipped, glancing up with
interest. He made a sour face when he saw the two quiet
students. Draco absently noted that he hadn’t heard a peep out
of them since they entered the common room. “Oh, spirits. More
good-looking ones.”

Draco smirked at Blaise’s displeasure. “Ignore him. He likes
to consider himself the cutest boy around, and he feels
threatened when there are others to challenge his position.
The beds without trunks at the end of them are yours. Your
other dorm mates are Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe, Theodore
Nott, and myself. Theo’s probably out making his rounds with
his various prospective girlfriends, so you probably won’t
meet him until morning. Vince and Greg are... wherever they go
when their not here. Probably the kitchens.” Or bullying one
of the lower years out of their sweets. That was probably the
case, since Draco didn’t see the two leave.

“Hn,” the shorter of the two grunted, walking toward the
window and peering out. “We’re in the dungeons.”

“Technically,” Pansy replied. “Only in that you go through the
dungeons to get to the common room. We’re in Slytherin Tower.”

“That’s illogical,” the taller boy murmured.

“What are you, muggles?” Draco said. He didn’t receive an
answer. That was alright; he didn’t really expect one. “You go
through the dungeons to get to Slytherin Tower. What’s
illogical about it?”

“It’s against the laws of physics, for one,” the shorter one -Yuy, by Snape’s indication- replied evenly. “We came
downstairs. We should be below the dungeons, not in a tower.”

“Physics?” Blaise questioned nonchalantly. “That’s a muggle
science. The thing you have to realize around here is that
science and magic clash. You’re in the wizarding world now.
Science doesn’t apply here.”

Yuy’s left eye twitched.

Barton said, “Wufei would be frothing at the mouth at such a
declaration.”

Oddly enough, Yuy smirked.

----------

“What do you mean, science doesn’t apply here?! Science
applies to everything!”

Mandy Brocklehurst found herself sighing at the exclamation.
Finally, someone who saw where she was coming from. Most of
Ravenclaw House consisted of mostly halfbloods and purebloods,
so it was hard to discuss the conflicts between hard science
and magic with anyone else.

“That’s something I’ve been saying for years,” Mandy replied.
“I’m muggleborn, and both of my parents are scientists. If it
hadn’t been for McGonagall showing up at my house personally,
my parents would have put off my invitation to Hogwarts as a
joke. They can still hardly accept this ‘malarkey’, as they
put it, as fact.”

“Hmph,” Chang Wufei grunted gruffly, crossing his arms
stiffly. “Even something as improbable as magic is hard to
dispute when one finds himself casting spells. Even so, I’m
sure if someone tried to examine it close enough, magic is,
boiled down to the basic principles, still just a science. An
undiscovered science, but science nonetheless.”

“That’s an interesting theory,” Terry Boot said, “but it’s
just that -a theory. Mandy’s tried to explain this science
stuff before, but most of it really doesn’t apply to magic.
Take flying, for example.”

“Flying? Please. Muggles have been studying aerodynamics since
da Vinci’s time(3),” Wufei said scoffingly.

“Not on broomsticks,” Mandy said with a shrug. “Personally, I
think that has something to do with something akin to
telekinesis. The more telekinetic one is, the better they fly.
The same concept could apply to summoning charms, floating
charms, Mobiliuscorpus, and various other spells and hexes.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Sally-Anne Perks pointed out.
“Granger’s fairly proficient at Charms, but she is poor at
flying.”

“Granger’s afraid of heights,” Mandy argued reasonably. “I’ve
heard her say so. That could influence her ability to fly a
broomstick.”

“So what you’re saying is that one’s ability to cast magic is
all psychological,” Wufei said slowly, clearly turning the
idea in his head. “Magic... it’s like bending the very laws of
reality and testing the fabric of science with one’s will and-or mind alone. Tell me, on’na -has either of your parents ever
decided to do a full CAT scan of your brain?”

“No,” Mandy replied with a small frown. “So you think wizards
and witches can do what they do because we use more then ten
percent of our brains?”

“Think about it,” Wufei said forcefully. “Most of a human
being’s brain is what we -I mean, muggles call grey matter. If
even one man or woman could somehow unlock the mystery of the
functions of our grey matter, it’s theorized that humans could
do extraordinary things. A doctor once told me that an unusual
amount of my brain was active, but seemed to be dormant. The
Headmaster explained that colonists who had the potential to
be wizards couldn’t use their magic because they were not part
of Earth, where they belong.”

“Then, psychologically, we have ties to the earth,” Mandy
mused. Interesting. “Some scientists have proven that, in
cases where caucasians are submerged in sensory deprivation
tanks, their circadian rhythm has a frequency of 24 hours and
40 minutes, which is not the rotational period of Earth, but
Mars.”

Wufei appeared surprised as he glanced over Mandy. “I’ve heard
of that, yes. Taking that into account, I would think that the
concept of magic would work on any planet that could sustain
life, like Mars once was.”(4)

“But not on a colony,” Mandy responded enthusiastically,
“because colonies, while habitable, are still simulations of
day-to-day Earth living.”

“Exactly,” Wufei said with a nod. He offered his hand to her.
“Chang Wufei.”(5)

“Mandy Brocklehurst,” Mandy said, shaking his hand
confidently. She was pleased to find that his handshake was
good and solid; most of the time when a man shook her hand,
his grip was rather lackluster, as if he was afraid he’d break
her dainty wrist should he try too hard. “A pleasure, truly.
I’ve been dying to hash out my theories with someone for years
now.”

“Glad I could be of service.”

----------

Ponoma Sprout was ecstatic. Thrilled. There were no bounds to
how happy she was.

Out of all of the new students, she managed to land the one
who was less likely to A) commit homicide, B) rant and rave
about every little thing, C) be antisocial, and (most
importantly) D) blow up one of her greenhouses.

Her poor plants...

In fact, Quatre Winner was the epitome of all things polite,
kind, and sweet. The blond was cordial, intelligent, and
sociable. With his wide, teal eyes, slight frame, and golden
blond hair, the boy had every appearance of an angel. She knew
the students of her house were going to adore him, and he was
going to make many friends.

She couldn’t fathom how someone so courteous ever met Duo
Maxwell. The Maxwell boy meant well, he really did... but he
was simply too unbridled in his mischief. She could only hope
that Quatre’s constant presence would somehow curb Duo’s
untamed desire to unintentionally cause chaos. However, she
somehow knew her hope was in vain.

“Quatre,” Ponoma said with a smile, “this is Ernie Macmillion
and Susan Bones, the sixth year Hufflepuff prefects. Ernie,
Susan, this is Quatre Winner. He’ll be joining Hufflepuff.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Quatre said
politely, beaming at Ernie and Susan. Ponoma saw that Susan’s
heart had immediately melted, and Ernie was taken with the
blond’s cheerful nature. Yes, Quatre would be a delightful
addition to Hufflepuff House.(6)

----------

“Psst. Psst! Ron!”

“Uh...?” Ron lifted his head blearily, resisting the urge to
glare at Duo for waking him up. The boy appeared absolutely
thrilled about something. The redhead yawned. “What is it,
mate?”

“I need your help,” Duo whispered. “Have you ever heard of
cherry bombs?”

“Are they anything like dung bombs?”

“Erm -no, I don’t think so. I need to test out a theory. See,
Mione got me thinking about the differences between muggles
and wizards, and I want to find out if flushing cherry bombs
down the toilet can be traced back to me. You in?”

Ron’s interest was piqued. “What do these cherry bomb things
do?”

“Make big booms.”

Neither Ron or Duo had taken into account that the water pipes
of the school were very old, and therefore prone to being weak
against said big booms.

----------

“Due to an unexplained accident that resulted in the school’s
main water pipe bursting, Hogwarts is officially short of
water until the problem can be found and fixed. The staff has
suggested that in order to preserve our available water
supply, students will have to cut their showers into a strict
time limit of four minutes.”

“Snape will be helping out a lot,” Harry whispered to Ron, who
was staring guiltily at his breakfast. “He doesn’t ever take
showers.”

Oddly enough, Harry had noticed that most of Duo’s friends
were shooting him some very suspicious glares, and Quatre was
looking towards the American with a sad, disapproving look on
his face. Duo was doing very well in ignoring it all, choosing
to instead cheerfully woof down his breakfast.

Dumbledore paused in his speech. “One student was thoughtful
enough to make a suggestion of his own. In his wisdom, he has
said, ‘if it is yellow, let it mellow. If it is brown, flush
it down.(7)’”

Silence.

“That’s disgusting,” Hermione whispered, appalled.

Duo grinned. Harry had a good idea who the thoughtful student
was. By the glares that same student was receiving from his
friends, Harry also had a good idea who was responsible for
the busted pipe in the first place.

“Thank you for listening. You may return to your meal.”

And once again began another day at Hogwarts.

End Chapter Eleven

(1) I actually cracked open a fortune cookie one day, and my
fortune was that. It appealed to my inner comedian and wormed
its way into my fic.

(2) This whole dream sequence was something that came from my
own fragile little mind a few weeks ago. (The ‘fat man’ is
Buddha, and the skinny men are ‘skinny Buddhas’, if you didn’t
pick up on that.) I woke up and found myself caught somewhere
between complete amusement that something like this can putt
around in my head when I’m practically comatose, and utter
horror... for basically the same reason.

(3) Leonardo da Vinci technically developed the first flying
machines; the sketches are in his journals. A lot of the
prototypes used in attempting to fly came from da Vinci’s
journals, if I’m not mistaken.

(4) (What did you expect? They’re RAVENCLAWS!) It’s long, it
involves a lot of aerophysics, and it’s dry to read about. I
find it fascinating, of course, simply by the fact that it’s
really controversial. I’ll try to summarize it for you: white
people come from Mars. African-Americans come from Earth.
Earth used to be closer to the sun, which is why African-Americans have such dark skin; it was their defense against
the sun. Then Jupiter careened into this galaxy, and a piece
of Jupiter broke off and became Venus. Venus actually collided
with Mars (which used to be where present-day Earth is),
therefore destroying Mars’ entire atmosphere and decimating
the “life” on that planet. (I’d like to point out that life on
Mars has been proven; there are small single-celled organisms
residing in the dirt there.) Meanwhile, there were white
people who’d come to Earth to war with the African Americans,
and this left them stranded on Earth. (Technology was
apparently more advanced, but completely wiped out during the
Dark Ages.) Venus rotated around Earth for several days (in
fact, this is where the whole thing about Lucifer comes into
play; the ‘light bringer’ appeared as a bright light in the
sky, day and night) which effectively pulled Earth into the
orbit it is in today. Venus, made largely of ice, is also
responsible for the ice at the poles. See? Controversial. It’s
not exactly a widely-accepted theory. I live for stuff like
this. In any case, it’s in an e-book called Biggest World
Secrets. If you live for controversy (like I do), or if you’re
a conspiracy theorist (not really my cup of tea; I already
think Fate is out to get me, I don’t need the world joining
in, as well), and you have time to kill, go and read it.

(5) If you haven’t caught it, this entire thing is very
phenomenal in regards to Wufei, whose a sexist idiot on his
better days. :grins: Since Mandy was basically able to keep up
with what he was saying, even going as far as adding her own
input, she garnered a lot of respect from him. (Well, a lot
considering she’s got breasts and no dangly bits.) He probably
won’t call her “on’na” unless he’s vexed. Introducing himself
with a handshake is his subtle way of saying “you’re worthy”.

(6) I took less time introducing Quatre to Hogwarts because
I’ve basically already covered that in previous chapters.

(7) :bursts out laughing: Oh, my God, can you just imagine
Dumbledore, of all people, saying this?! :falls to the ground:
Oh, it hurts! It hurts so good! Bwahahahahahahahahah!
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Harry Potter and the Secret Link