Pranksters In Love

George stood staring out the window waiting for Fred and Parker to finish the negotiations of the marriage settlements. George knew that Fred was an incredible negotiator, and he thought that perhaps Fred surprised Parker. George had a feeling that Parker had thought to pull one over on his brother.

“So it’s settled then, you will receive Weeping Willow Manor, and in exchange you will give your second son the Parkinson name, to keep our line from ending. I will assume all of the education costs for this son. If no son is born, then your second daughter will then take the Parkinson name and I will of course assume my granddaughters education costs. Of course, being a Weasley, I am sure that you will breed several son’s on my daughter, and maybe if we are lucky, they will come in multiples!” he said laughing and beating Fred on the back with his hand. “I will assume all of Pansy’s expenses for the next five years, including any formal education if she so wishes to continue. Not like there is much chance of that, she barely made it out of Hogwarts! After the five years are up you will then assume all responsibility for her. In exchange for this, all of my assets that Pansy will receive at my death will be hers to use as she sees fit. In the even that I die before the five years are up, my money will be put into a trust to be evenly divided between all of Pansy’s children. So this is agreed then?” he said looking at Fred.

“Sounds about right. Shall we sign and have my brother and Cornelius witness it?” he said when the quick quills finished writing.

The four men signed the paper and when they were through it automatically apparated itself to the Ministry of Magic for filing.

“Ahh, here comes your bride,” Cornelius Fudge said as Pansy walked into the room.

“Are you ready?” her father said leaning to give her a quick peck on the cheek. He was so happy to see her finally moving out.

“Am I ready for what, father?” she snapped at him.

Parker looked at Fred. “Didn’t you tell her?” he asked.

“Didn’t get around to it,” Fred said with his eyes twinkling at Pansy.

“What are you two babbling about?” she shrieked.

Fred smiled and put his arm around his future wife. “We are getting married,” he said as he gently kissed her cheek.

“I know that you idiot! What are we doing now?”

Pulling her closer to him he said, “We are getting married.”

Realization flitted across Pansy’s face. “But,” she sputtered, “we can’t possibly be getting married now. I want a real wedding,” she whined.

“No.” Fred said simply.

“Who the hell do you think that you are?” she blew up at him. Just then Molly and Hermione came through the fireplace. “What the hell is that Mudblood doing in my home? Fred Weasley, you had better start explaining yourself this minute!”

“I don’t think that I can be any clearer with you,” he said calmly as he looked her in the eye. “We are right now getting married. Cornelius is going to officiate. You do not have any say in this. You will do as I tell you to do. And remember this Pansy Parkinson, if you choose to call a member of “OUR” family by that filthy name again there will be serious consequences and they will be much worse than what you received earlier.” Fred slowly spoke to the livid woman before him, slowly enunciating each word. He was trying hard to stay calm and not make the situation any worse than it already was. She did have beautiful green eyes he was startled to realize.

“You can’t tell me what to do! Father!” she screamed at the stunned Parker. “Are you going to let him speak to me this way!”

“It’s out of my hands now Pansy.”

“But I wanted a real wedding!” she demanded. “I am your only child! I should have the wedding of the century! Why are you going along with this?”

Fred was afraid her shrieking would make her father cave in, and that was the very last thing that he wanted. “I suppose you should have thought of that before you told me to…”

Pansy quickly stuck her hand across his mouth. She turned red at the thought of what had transpired in her room earlier. “But I am not dressed for a wedding! I am not prepared yet!”

Fred looked at her. He thought that she looked stunning in all of her anger. He had never really paid any attention to her before and hadn’t realized that she was as beautiful as she was. “I think, my dear, that you look beautiful, and I would be honored if you would marry me her today,” he said getting down on his knee and taking her hand in his.

Pansy gasped. “Do you really think that I am beautiful?” Nobody had ever told her that before.

“You are the most stunning woman I have ever had the honor to behold,” he said laying it on thick. “I love the way your eyes shine like the deepest emeralds when you look at me. Your eyes could put to shame the largest, greenest emerald anywhere in this world. And your lips, they are so…”

“Oh Fred!” she cried throwing herself into his arm. “Of course I will marry you now!”

Molly and Hermione looked at each other and rolled their eyes in disgust. They had just watched Fred prove yet again how he could get any female that he chose to pursue.

George laughed out loud. He couldn’t believe that Pansy was thick enough to fall for that obvious line of crap. Women! Who could ever figure them out? He was willing to be his half of WWW that Hermione wouldn’t fall for a line like that!

“So George, shall we make it a double?” Fred asked his brother.

George looked to Hermione and saw her panicked expression. He knew she wasn’t ready yet, and he didn’t want to force the issue. He was willing to wait a bit longer so that she would be more comfortable with the whole situation. “No bro, this is your day. Ours will come later.” He said holding Hermione’s eyes with his. He walked between his mother and Hermione and took both of there hands in his.

“So are we ready then?” Parked asked stunned that things were actually going to proceed without too much of a fuss.

“But where is mother?” Pansy asked.

“I think that she is shopping with some friends.” He said as though it didn’t matter that his wife was not present for his daughters wedding.

“Shouldn’t we wait for her?”

“We’ll tell her when she returns.” He was not going to take a chance that his shrew of a wife would ruin his chance of getting rid of one of the annoying females in his life.

Pansy looked hurt but nodded her head. She didn’t want Fred to change his mind while waiting for her mother. Spending time with her mother might scare him away. He might think that she acted like her and not want to chance a life with a nag for a wife.

“Well then,” Cornelius Fudge said. “Let us begin.”


An hour later they were all standing around toasting to the married couple when Rose Parkinson came in. “You will never believe what happened to day!” she exclaimed. “Katie Bell turned Draco into a ferret!” she said before she noticed the full room.

“What?” Pansy exclaimed.

“What is going on here?” Rose demanded.

“Why did she turn him into a ferret?” she couldn’t believe anyone would have the nerve to do something like that to a Malfoy!

“Why are all of these people here, Parker? What is going on?” she demanded again.

“We are celebrating Pansy’s marriage to Mr. Weasley.”

“Well she isn’t married yet, and I had thought that you could find a way to get her out of this marriage to a blood traitor. And what the hell is that Mudblood doing in my home!” she screeched at her husband. “ I demand that you get all of these people out of here!”

“I am afraid that is impossible, my dear, you see Pansy is already married and these are her new in-laws. And, furthermore, it is my understanding that in their household they do not use the term “Mudblood”. The happen to find it offensive and we wouldn’t want to offend our new in-laws would we?” he said enjoying the fact that his wife could do nothing to ruin this moment. He might pay for it later, but right now he was relishing his small victory over her.


“But she can’t be married! I wasn’t here to see!” Rose cried. How could a daughter get married without her mother there to watch!

Molly almost felt sorry for Rose Parkinson. She knew exactly what she was feeling at this moment. To have your only daughter get married without your blessing and support was just an awful feeling. Not that she would reach out to comfort the woman. She didn’t feel that sorry for her!

“Fred, I think that we will all go home now and see about preparing a new room for your and your lovely bride,” Molly almost choked on the words. “We seem to keep acquiring new in-laws!” she said happily.

“That won’t be necessary, Mrs. Weasley,” Rose interrupted. “I am sure that my daughter would be more comfortable in her own home.” There was no way that Rose was going to let her only child move into that hovel that the Weasley’s called home.

“Actually,” Parker interrupted, “according to the marriage settlements the kids will make their new home at Weeping Willow Manor,” he said winking at Fred.

“What! You gave away Weeping Willow Manor without discussing it with me!” Rose shrieked at her husband! “I wanted that home for my summer house! You know that I like spending August there!”

Parker was not about to admit that he gave it away specifically to get Pansy out of the house so he just smiled at his wife and said, “Young kids need a place of their own, dear. Perhaps Pansy and Fred will invite you over once they have settled in.”

Fred and Pansy looked at each other and grimaced. They both were thinking the same thing; not before hell froze over!

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