Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Proof of Life	By : emilywaters Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 65994 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 5
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter related. It all belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Inc., Warner Bros., and any other entities involved. I make no money from writing fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Intimations

It was late afternoon when Harry woke up with a start at the sound of someone knocking on the door of the old house. For a moment, there was a flash of hope: that Ginny had returned, bringing Lily along. Then, the hope died as quickly as it had appeared. Ginny would not knock.

The knocking, however loud, did not wake Severus, who was still sound sleep, likely due to the remnants of Marietta's sedatives in his system. Harry was not about to wake him either. He stood up very cautiously, careful not to disturb him, walked to the door, and opened it.

Hermione and Ron stood on his doorstep. Harry's heart ached when he saw the Weasley flying car parked carelessly in the driveway. It reminded him too much of the old days, when the adventures outnumbered the misadventures.

A long and predictably awkward silence ensued, as neither seemed to know what to say. Harry kept his mouth shut and stared at the two of them warily.

�Hi,� Hermione said finally in a small voice.

�Hi,� Harry said. �Molly told you?�

Hermione nodded miserably. Harry cracked a small smile, and tried for humor this time. �Came to lecture me?�

That came out all wrong, not funny at all, and a great deal more defensive and belligerent than he had intended. Hermione appeared to be taken aback by his tone of voice.

�I hadn't been planning on lecturing you,� Hermione said coolly, �but if you insist on being a prat...�

�I don't want to be a prat,� Harry said quickly and sincerely.

�Well, good, because I don't want to lecture you,� Hermione said with a genuine smile. �Are you going to invite us in, or should we just push you aside and barge in?�

�Come in,� Harry said finally, stepping aside. �Just be quiet. Severus is asleep.�

�Oh, so he's Severus now,� Ron teased half-heartedly. �Since when?�

�Since this morning,� Harry said tiredly. �It's been a crazy twenty-four hours...�

They walked quietly across the living room, and entered the kitchen. Hermione cast a silencing charm around them, and looked at Harry thoughtfully. �What happened, Harry?� she asked. �You aren't... I mean, you're so jumpy. You aren't yourself.�

�Let's see,� Harry said dryly, �my wife left me, I have a custody fight coming up, and I am housing suicidal Snape.�

�Suicidal?� Hermione exclaimed. �Harry, what happened?�

Quickly, Harry relayed the basics of the previous night's events, including his conversations with Marietta and Draco. Hermione and Ron listened quietly.

�Why didn't you firecall?� Hermione demanded once Harry was done talking. �Harry, you promised! You promised to firecall us if something went wrong!�

Harry shrugged sheepishly. �I just thought it'd be difficult, and you'd want... some distance, for a while.� He glanced at his friends, feeling oddly exposed and vulnerable. �Don't you?�

By the kitchen counter, Ron was shaking his head incredulously.

�We've survived a war together, and you thought we would bail on you now?� Ron demanded. �Harry, you really aren't thinking straight.�

�Well, what was I supposed to think?� Harry snapped, becoming embarrassed and going on the offensive this time. �Whenever Ginny and I fought, you two always took her side, without fail.�

�So what,� Ron said dismissively. �That doesn't mean anything. Hermione's parents always take my side when the two of us fight, but at the end of the day she knows she can count on them. You should know better, too.�

Hermione looked at Harry, shook her head and muttered something barely audible, but clearly insulting, and clearly directed at Harry's intelligence.

�You're right,� Harry agreed peacefully. �I just thought... oh hell, I don't even know what I thought. It's all such a spectacular mess.�

Hermione's hand touched Harry's forehead. �You are running a fever,� she observed. �I hope you aren't planning to go to work tomorrow.�

�No,� Harry said. �I'm quitting. Ron is next in line for promotion to head the Auror Office...�

Ron gave him a sour look. �Yeah right. There is no way Diggory will let me move up. He'll put one of his cronies in your place.�

Harry sighed tiredly. �I can't leave Severus alone in the house though,� Harry said. �He's not well. He needs someone around.�

�Well then, take some time off. Don't just quit,� Ron insisted with something like desperation in his voice.

�There's no way Diggory will let me take time off now,� Harry protested.

�He's got no choice,� Ron pointed out. �Ginny just left you, remember? You're entitled to three weeks of stress leave, with pay.�

Absolutely dumbfounded, Harry stared at Ron blankly. He had completely forgotten about that. Then again, in the three years working for Diggory, he had forgotten about any rights he might have had where his employment was concerned.

�Well, bless her heart,� Hermione murmured, amused. �She couldn't have timed it better.�

Ron chuckled amicably. �Harry, what are you going to do about Lily?�

Harry rubbed his forehead, frowning. �I don't know. I want Lily to live with me, but I gather the odds of me actually getting custody aren't that great.�

�No,� Hermione conceded. �I do think that Lily needs you and Ginny both, but to be perfectly honest, having Snape living with you isn't going to help. Diggory has the family courts in his pocket, as you well know. There's just no way they will allow the child to live in the same household as Snape, if there's a suitable alternative.�

�Well, what are you suggesting?� Harry asked tersely. �I should send him to Azkaban, I suppose, in exchange for my firstborn?�

�I'm suggesting no such thing,� Hermione said very patiently, �but... Ron and I talked, and we could house Snape for a while, you know, if you and Ginny decide to try to reconcile, or if you just want to pursue joint custody...�

�You don't have a spare bedroom,� Harry pointed out, interrupting her, and feeling bothered by how tempting it was to take her up on her offer and resume a semblance of normal life.

�We can move Rose to our bedroom for a while. Or maybe we'll add another bedroom downstairs. Or we can sell the house and buy a bigger one. Really, we can figure it out, it's not that complicated. The bottom line is, do you think he'd be willing to relocate?�

Harry shot a glance into the living room, where Severus was still sound asleep on the couch. �I don't think he'll say no to anything I tell him to do,� Harry said bitterly.

Hermione's face paled a little. �It's... that bad then?�

Harry nodded tiredly. �I don't think we should move him now,� Harry said. �His perception of reality is shaky. So ... I really don't know. Another relocation might push him over the edge. Besides, do you really want someone attempting suicide with Rose around?�

�All right then,� Hermione conceded reluctantly, �I see your point. Don't move him. So my recommendation is that you try to settle the custody issue outside of court. Reach an agreement with Ginny amicably. Cede full custody to her, but retain guardianship, and insist on regular, scheduled visits for the next year. After a year, agree to re-evaluate the situation together.�

�Scheduled visits?� Harry repeated bitterly. �I've never been apart from Lily for more than three days at a time. I don't like this one bit.�

�I didn't think you would,� Hermione conceded sadly, �but, honestly, that's your best option. From what I heard, Ginny is very upset with you. Even if we relocate Snape, she likely won't come back now.�

�Oh. So what makes you think she'll be willing to negotiate with me?�

�I'll talk to her,� Ron said. �She can be hot-headed when she's angry, but given a chance to cool down, she can be reasoned with. Just like me,� he added with a small grin. �Really, mate, we'll help. It will work out in the end.�

Harry let out another sigh of relief, and looked at his friends.

�Thanks,� he said simply.

Hermione nodded and moved to examine Harry's fridge and cupboards, taking stock of what he had. Leaning back in the chair, Harry permitted the intrusion, and watched her absently until a sudden realization hit him like a punch in the gut.

�Oh shit,� he whispered. �I forgot to feed him.�

Ron stared at him blankly.

�Marietta said, frequent feedings, small portions, but we just both fell asleep after breakfast, and ... well, I woke up when you knocked on the door,� Harry explained, embarrassed. �I should have set the alarm to wake us, should have fed him at least twice by now...�

�Harry, just relax and let him sleep,� Hermione said tiredly. �Ron, since Snape is going to be staying here, why don't you help me with the boxes? Harry, you just sit and wait, we'll be back in a moment.�

They left and returned a few minutes later, levitating two large boxes into the kitchen. �Groceries, nutritional supplement potions, a few basic healing potions, just in case, and some books on nutrition.�

Harry groaned quietly at the mention of more books to read, earning himself a brief but pointed glare from Hermione.

Hermione moved to unload the groceries, and stock Harry's cupboards and fridge, while Harry glanced at the second box resting under the kitchen table. �What's this?�

�Things for Snape,� Hermione said. �We figured you didn't have time to go shopping, so we picked up a few things. Outfits, robes, personal care items...�

Harry opened the box and peeked inside. He saw the neat pile of new clothes, including the same kind of black robes that Severus Snape used to wear back at Hogwarts. He also noticed two dark grey nightshirts, a navy blue dressing-gown, a set of towels, and some toiletries.

He stroked the soft fluffy towels with his fingers, feeling incredibly embarrassed that he himself hadn't thought of this sort of thing sooner. �Thanks. That's brilliant. How much do I owe you?�

Ron rolled his eyes. �Here we go again. This is getting very tedious.�

�Annoying, too,� Hermione muttered under her breath. �Harry, you probably won't have a chance to go shopping in the next few days. Do you need anything else?�

Harry thought about it for a moment. �Actually, yes,� he said. �Can you drop by the apothecary at Diagon Alley, and get some Calming Draught? Like, maybe a month's worth?�

Hermione pursed her lips in disapproval. �You realize that it's habit-forming, don't you?�

Harry scowled at her. �And you must realize that if Snape kills himself, the addictive nature of Calming Draught will be a moot point.�

She nodded reluctantly. �All right then. We'll see you in a few hours.� She gave him a warm, sympathetic smile. �Hang in there, Harry. It'll get better, I promise.�

~ * ~

It was nearly dark when he woke from the gentle squeeze Harry's hand delivered to his shoulder.

�Slept well?� Harry asked quietly, leaning over him.

He blinked rapidly, trying to remember what had happened throughout the day. Nothing had, he realized with astonishment. He had simply... slept. He had slept through the entire day. That couldn't be good, could it? He looked up at Harry in alarm, but Harry's reassuring hand was still resting on his shoulder, and Severus' alarm began to dissipate.

�Hungry?� Harry asked.

He thought about it for a moment, and realized that he could not tell. More than anything, he was groggy and drained.

�I don't know,� he admitted finally.

�Could you eat something?� Harry asked.

�I don't know,� he said again. �I don't ... think so.� He still felt slightly uncomfortable and nauseous, as if he had eaten too much earlier in the morning. It was not the case of course, but the disorienting sensation persisted.

�Your body has stopped recognizing hunger signals. It'll take a while for that part of your physiology to start regulating itself again,� Harry said, guiding him to sit up. �How about some tea, and a nutritional replacement potion, then? Can you have that?�

�If you like,� Severus said agreeably.

�I'd like that very much,� Harry said, helping him stand up.

He moved as if in a daze, allowing Harry's hands to guide him into the kitchen and ease him onto the chair. He was still in a state of hypervigilance, expecting some sort of disaster to strike, but the presence of those guiding hands on his back and around his waist was anchoring him to reality, assuring him that nothing terrible was happening at the moment. Eventually, he sat down and waited, until a cup of hot tea and a vial of potion were placed before him. He drank the latter quickly, and then proceeded to drink the tea, watching Harry sit down next to him and pick up a mug of tea as well.

�Hermione had some bad luck shopping for us today,� Harry said. �She went to purchase some Calming Draught, to help with your anxiety, but turns out it's a controlled substance now, and getting a prescription is a rather lengthy process. It's also illegal to brew in a residential setting these days, apparently,� Harry added with a note of distaste in his voice.

Severus bowed his head, staring into his mug.

�Anyway,� Harry continued, �Hermione can brew some of it for us. She says she doesn't care if it's illegal.� Harry's eyes darted in his direction. �I guess I should ask, would you like to have some, or do you have an aversion to it?�

�I do not have an aversion to it,� Severus said neutrally. "However, I doubt it would be effective.�

Harry remained quiet, as if allowing those words to sink in.

�You built up a resistance to it during the years of the war, then?� Harry guessed, and smiled a little sadly. �What else? Numbing Potion? Dreamless Sleep?�

Reluctantly, Severus offered a small nod. This was not going well at all, he thought with alarm. He was already proving to be an inconvenience. Maybe he should have denied it, but after seven years of captivity, he no longer dared to lie. His hand shook slightly as he set the mug with the tea down.

�I am sorry,� he offered hesitantly.

He made a desperate attempt to calm himself, but the shaking in his hands only began to increase. Harry noticed it and placed his own hand on top of his.

�We'll work it out,� Harry said calmly. �We'll just have to be creative for the next little while, that's all.� Harry's eyes were resting on Severus' hand, cradled in his. �Marietta said I shouldn't be .. well, 'pawing' you,� Harry added, �but tell me, is this... all right?�

Severus glanced at him with undisguised surprise. He could not understand why Harry was asking if it was all right to touch him. If that's what the question was. He had probably misunderstood, Severus decided at last, and a long silence ensued, with Harry clearly waiting for an answer of some sort.

�I don't understand what you want from me,� Severus confessed finally.

�I want you to tell me if I should leave you alone,� Harry said.

Still disoriented, he shut his eyes, unable to focus on anything but Harry's hand on his. That felt... unlike anything he had experienced in the last seven years. Whatever else was in store for him, he did not want this to end.

�I don't want to be left alone,� Severus said finally.

To his surprise, Harry smiled at his words.

�Good. I don't want to leave you alone,� Harry said, and squeezed his hand gently. Together, they walked upstairs to Severus' bedroom. Stopping in front of the bed, Severus stared at Harry hesitantly. The small voice of reason at the back of Severus' head was telling him that he needed to let go of Harry's hand, but his body was refusing to cooperate with the mangled remnants of his sanity.

�All right then,� Harry said quietly, carefully freeing his hand from Severus' grip. �Lie down. I'm not going anywhere.� A brief moment of awkwardness followed, as Severus climbed into bed, still fully dressed, and rested his head on the pillow.

The moment Harry's hand left his, the panic made a reappearance. He turned around and moved to the side of the bed, stilling himself against the vivid recollections of the recent past and the possibilities of future disasters. The bed inclined slightly when Harry stretched himself out on the other side of it, keeping some distance between the two of them.

�If it helps any, I can stay the night here,� Harry offered. �I don't mean anything bad by it,� he added quickly, �I mean... I remember, one night right after the war, I was very upset, couldn't stop crying, and Hermione stayed the entire night with me, just like this, because she was worried about me.�

Severus turned around abruptly and stared at Harry's face, scanning it for signs of deception, or taunting. Harry took his glasses off, setting them on the bedside table, and allowed his face to be studied without any sign that it irritated him or angered him. The myopic green eyes looked misty and damp.

�Stay?� Severus repeated cautiously.

Harry nodded with a small smile and made an inviting gesture of some sort that Severus did not dare to recognize. Harry remained still, with his arms slightly opened, as if waiting for him to make a move. Uncertainly, Severus copied the gesture, and Harry's smile grew a bit wider.

Harry extended his hand to him. With a great deal of caution, Severus lifted himself on one elbow and looked at Harry's open palm. It was an invitation of some sort, but Severus was not certain how many liberties he was allowed to take in the matter. For a few moments, he simply stared at that hand, learning its shape and size, the length of the fingers, and the network of lines running across the palm. Eventually, he lowered his face to Harry's hand, and pressed his lips to the slender wrist.

Harry sighed softly, as if he was upset by something. Severus was about to withdraw when Harry's left hand rested on Severus' back between his shoulderblades.

�Let's get some sleep,� said Harry. There was no rebuke or anger in his voice.

That was the last thing Severus heard before oblivion claimed him again.

To Be Continued...

10

11

12

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Proof of Life