You Don't See Me | By : KohakuShadow Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 11703 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I'm not making any money off of writing fanfiction for it, either. Obviously. |
XI.
'Isn't this just where we met? And is this the last chance that I'll
ever get?'
Three days had passed since
Harry had slammed Severus against the wall. The first day, Harry
hadn't come to work. The second he'd only come to clear his desk of
any personal effects. He told Severus that he'd decided to start
working with George for now, and that he was seeing about an
apartment near Diagon Alley. Severus had nodded, but hadn't been able
to think of anything to say. He wondered if Harry would bother to say
goodbye. He didn't suppose he could blame him if he didn't.
He let out a deep breath and
allowed his gaze to scan the empty potions classroom. His last course
of the day had ended quite some time ago. Suddenly, he realized that
he'd always felt most at peace here. He'd never thought much of being
a teacher. It was simply a means to an end. Now he thought he'd
wasted many years cursing his station in life when he should have
been enjoying himself more. He loved potions, after all. There had
been students who might have learned to love it too, if he'd been
less harsh with them, students he should have offered tutelage
instead of bitter condescension. 'I have made such a mess of life.
Even this second chance that fate has given me has been one mistake
after another. I am probably too old now to change my ways. Even if
not, I wouldn't even know where to begin.'
His gaze darted up when he
realized he wasn't alone. “Harry. How long have you been
there?”
“Only
a moment,” Harry answered. “You looked unusually content
when I came in. I didn't want to interrupt whatever it was you were
thinking about.” Content, Harry had realized, but also
intensely sad. He thought it would be a nice way to remember
Snape--not his anger, but his gentleness. “The past again?”
he asked, hoping he wouldn't anger the man by asking.
“In
a manner of speaking,” Severus answered. He did feel uniquely
calm and more open to questions than he would normally have been.
“I've been thinking what a mess I've made of my life, time and
time again.” He lifted a book off the desk and placed it on a
shelf behind it, moved some potion samples from his recent lecture
onto the appropriate shelf. “...among other matters, but it's
no matter now. The past can't be changed. You came to see me for
something.”
Harry moved into the room. It
seemed like Snape was finally ready to leave the past where it
belonged, behind him. 'Why do these things always happen too
late?' He met Snape halfway across the room. His throat felt
thick with all that had passed between them and he wasn't sure for a
moment how to form words. “I guess I just...wanted to say
goodbye.” He choked on 'goodbye'. It was the last thing he
wanted to say, but he needed the closure. He had to say goodbye to
Snape properly if he had any hope of eventually letting him go and
falling in love again.
The word hung between them like
a blade, ready to slice through the years of agony they'd caused one
another. Severus didn't know what made him take that last step
forward, or why he tilted Harry's chin up gently to look into his
eyes. He certainly had no idea why he lowered his head and kissed the
boy gently on the mouth. He held him there only a moment, but stared
into his eyes far longer. “Goodbye then, Harry.”
Harry stared at him in awe. That
kiss. It had coiled in his belly and spread warmth all the way to his
toes. It felt like goodbye, but rather than finally severing the bond
between them, Harry found himself pulling Severus against him. He ran
his hands over the older man's etched face, and pulled him down into
a second kiss much more passionate than the first.
Severus didn't fight him. He
wanted that kiss just as badly as Harry did.
“Ask
me to stay,” Harry whispered between their passionate kisses.
“I
won't,” Severus answered even as his hands explored the planes
of Harry's sides and back through his robes.
“You
want me to stay,” Harry murmured confidently, pressing his
lithe body against Snape as firmly as he could.
Severus stubbornly refused to
answer, but found his lips trailing along Harry's throat eagerly. The
tight knot of desire was already forming a coil in the pit of his
stomach.
Harry laced his fingers through
Snape's hair, tilted his head eagerly, and moaned. “Ask me to
stay, Severus. Please,” he begged. “Ask me to stay and be
your lover.”
Severus bit Harry's throat
lightly. “Shut up, Potter,” he muttered. He wasn't going
to ask. Harry had to go. If he didn't, it would be the end of him.
But maybe, just this once...no. He had to stop this insanity. Stop
kissing Harry's delicious throat, stop unfastening the clasps of
Harry's robes.
Harry murmured something under
his breath and Severus heard the lock on the door click into place.
He stepped forward, pulling Snape's lips up to his for another deep
kiss that sent shocks of pleasure straight to that coil of energy
pressing down from Severus' abdomen toward his bulging groin. “Tell
me you want me,” Harry murmured between kisses. “Tell me
you have to have me.” He daringly reached down to palm Snape's
groin as his other hand laced firmly in his hair. “Strip me.
Bend me over your desk and have your way with me.”
Snape (much to his surprise as
he didn't realize Harry was moving forward or that he was moving
backward) felt his bum connect with said desk. He let it take his
weight as the younger man stood between his thighs and removed the
fondling hand to press his hardness against the older man's. He
rocked his hips forward with a deep, wanton moan, and Snape found the
breath had vanished from his lungs. He opened his mouth to let out
the moan that was trapped in his throat, but all that came out was a
raspy breath and a shudder. He couldn't stop Harry when he felt his
trousers being opened and his bare flesh being pulled out, his love's
cool hand stroking the overheated shaft.
Harry moaned. It was bigger than
he'd imagined it, and his imagination had been generous. He'd seen
Snape naked before, but given the circumstances hadn't really gotten
that good of a look, and frankly, Snape hadn't been enjoying himself
all that much at the time. He certainly seemed to be enjoying himself
now, though. “Ask me to stay,” Harry begged again as he
jerked Severus eagerly.
“H-aaarrry...”
Severus squeezed his eyes shut. If he was going to stroke him like
that, how did he expect Severus to maintain his composure?
“Tell
me
to stay, if you won't ask,” Harry insisted more firmly. “Please
tell me. Tell me not to go. Tell me you want me as much as I want
you. Tell me you don't want to say goodbye. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Please,
Severus.” He pleaded between kisses. “If you tell me you
want me to stay, I'll tell George that I've decided to keep working
at Hogwarts after all. I'll get out of the lease on the apartment; I
haven't signed it yet. Just say 'stay'. It's a simple, four letter
word. Please. Let me stay with you. I'll work hard. I'll do anything
you ask of me. I'll stop throwing things at you when you piss me off.
Just let me stay.”
Severus didn't know how Harry
expected him to answer when he devoured his lips every third word.
Even when the younger man sucked his earlobe between his teeth, he
was still squeezing and stroking his strained cock so perfectly it
was hard to keep his mind on any one thought for more than a moment.
He finally managed the strength to put his hands on Harry's biceps
and push him away to arm's length. He was breathing heavily,
intensely aroused, precum dripping out of his engorged member. “For
Merlin's sake, Harry, stop chattering on and take off your damned
clothes.”
He was as surprised at his words
as Harry seemed to be, but the Gryffindor didn't need to be told
twice. His robes were already halfway hanging off and he stepped out
of them, nearly tripping over them as he peeled off his t-shirt and
threw it aside to land askew on the back of a chair. He fumbled a bit
with the button of his pants, but managed to unfasten them, hissing
as they brushed his turgid, weeping erection, and pulled these and
his boxers off simultaneously, stumbling out of his trousers and
sneakers all in one clumsy gesture. He didn't bother to remove his
socks. There didn't seem much of a point.
Snape could only watch in awe as
more and more of that young body was revealed. It looked even more
delicious than it had half-skewed in shadow. Pink nipples taut, slim
hips, milky thighs, a sizable but not over-stated prick—turgid
and leaking with need. It seemed bizarre, that someone possessing
such a body could ever desire someone like him, but Harry took
his hand and tugged him around the desk, pushing him down into the
chair and lowering himself to his knees on the cold stone floor.
As an afterthought, he removed
his glasses and carelessly tossed them up onto the desk before
opening his mouth and lowering it over Snape's heated shaft with a
moan of absolute delight. He knew Severus was still fully dressed
other than his big, hard cock peeking out of his fly. Ideally, the
man would be just as naked as he was, but Harry just didn't have the
patience for that now. He swallowed Snape's shaft eagerly, feeling
the man tense and shudder as his perpetual control frayed and
gradually became more and more undone. He wanted to be the cause of
that undoing—to hear Severus moan and cry out in pleasure and
know it was him that was causing it.
Severus squeezed his eyes shut
against the pleasure. He'd lost this battle. If Harry wanted to stay,
even if it was just hormones, Severus wasn't going to argue with him.
He couldn't bear to anymore. “Harry,” he rasped
eventually. “Stop. Please...” He moaned softly. “You
win. You can stay just...enough...”
He hadn't meant to be so rough
pulling the young man's face away from his quivering dick, but if
Harry didn't stop now he was going to come, and he knew that Harry
really wanted to be...what was it he said? Ah, right. Bent over the
desk and fucked. He couldn't imagine anyone actually wanting that,
but he had to admit his own experiences with such things had probably
not been the norm. He let go a few deep breaths to calm himself and
gestured towards a cupboard on the other side of the room. “Second
shelf. There's a yellowish potion that will suffice as a lubricant.”
At least he hoped so. It had all the unctuous qualities he'd heard
were associated with lubricants.
Harry nodded and padded
bare-arsed to the cupboard. Snape couldn't help but feel aroused
watching him. He'd never in a million years imagined such a thing as
this would happen to him. He nodded dimly when Harry lifted a vial
and asked 'this one?' He must be dreaming. There was no way this
could possibly be real.
Harry returned and uncapped the
vial hastily. “I...I can prepare myself, if you want. I mean, I
know you...this sort of thing is kind of...” Harry didn't know
how to say Snape's past experiences might lead him to be too gentle.
Snape shook his head and took
the vial, pouring a generous amount of the liquid onto his fingers,
testing the texture. Yes, he thought this would do very well, in
theory. “In my limited understanding, there's a degree of give
and take necessary for sex. If you do all the work, you might as well
just masturbate.”
Harry blushed a bit at the
memory of Snape walking in on him doing just that. He nodded dumbly.
“Lean
over the desk, Harry. And for the love of Merlin, tell me if I'm
hurting you. I will stop immediately.”
Harry pulled Severus' face down
to his and kissed him soundly. “Don't worry so much. You're not
Lucius. You're not Voldemort either. I know you'll think of my
pleasure before your own. You're just that kind of guy. I'm not a
virgin. And I don't think it's a secret at this point that I stick my
fingers up my hole when I think about you in the privacy of my own
bed, or that I think about you a lot.” Harry smirked as
Severus colored slightly. Too cute. He kissed one flushed cheek, then
the other. “You don't need to worry about being too
gentle. I'm used to having things up my arse. When you do it right,
it feels good. Really good. Maybe someday you'll trust me
enough to let me show you just how good it can feel.”
Harry devoured Snape's lips into
another bruising kiss before the man could protest his last comment
and then bent himself over the desk, pressing his toes into the stone
and clutching the edge. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself.
Nervousness wasn't his problem, excitement was.
He wasn't the only one excited.
Snape never thought a naked young man with his ass in the air could
be such an appealing sight. He took a shaky breath and dragged one
slick finger down Harry's crevice, then up again, grazing over the
tight ring of muscle on his way.
Harry moaned softly and his
muscles twitched with need. “Severus, please! Don't tease me.”
“I'm
not teasing, Harry,” Severus answered, amazed by the husky
quality of his own voice. “I'm...experimenting, I suppose. This
is...not something I have very much experience with.”
But Harry was more than a little
impatient at this point. He wanted the older man's cock and he wanted
it right now. He was only barely able to acknowledge that it
would hurt like hell if he wasn't prepared first. “Fuck, Sev,
there's nothing to it. Just take your middle finger and ram it into
my hole. Trust me. I'll love it.” The eagerness came
over in his voice and Snape couldn't help but smirk a little as he
dragged his nail over the pucker again.
“Impatient
brat. Fine. Have it your way. If it hurts, you only have yourself to
blame.”
Harry opened his mouth to
retort, but it came out as a keening moan as his hips jerked. Severus
had done exactly as he asked—rammed his middle finger into his
pucker. “Hah—aahnn...fuck. Yes...” Harry rasped as
the finger wiggled inside of him curiously.
Good god! The boy was so tight
inside. It was a miracle something so tight could fit something as
large as a finger, let along a dick, but Harry was moaning and trying
to push his hips against the finger to get it in deeper, so he must
like it as much as he said. Snape pulled the finger out a bit
curiously and watched Harry whimper and try to chase after it with
his arse, then gasp and wriggle when he slid it all the way in again.
Amazing. Amazing and very, very sexy. He let his finger slide in and
out a bit more, watched Harry writhe and whimper. “I suppose I
should assume this is acceptable as a lubricant, then?” he
quipped when he finally felt confident in trying to wiggle a second
finger inside. It was tight. Too tight. He thought maybe he should
pull it out, but Harry pressed his arse up toward the invasion again.
“Yes!
Fuck yes! It's great. God!
Do you have to go so slow?”
Harry whined. “I'm not going to break. Do it. Please!”
Severus didn't have to be asked
again. He slipped the two fingers in and pressed them all the way
inside. Harry bucked up against them with a deep moan. The fingers
were longer than his own and felt so good penetrating his
innards. He could feel them so close to his prostate, but not
quite reaching it and shamelessly whimpered out his need. “Sev.
Please. I can take it. Hurry! I want your cock in me so bad.”
Said cock twitched as Harry
begged him not to dawdle. He didn't think he'd been stretching and
scissoring the boy nearly enough, but at that insistence, he bit his
lip and pressed the third finger in. He felt the boy's body clench
and tighten. “That was too soon,” he said with a frown.
“Don't rush me if you aren't ready yet, you little fool.”
“Nngh.
N-no, it's okay,” Harry rasped. “It just stings a little.
It'll be fine in a second. Don't stop. Please, don't stop...”
He let out a shaky breath and relaxed.
Severus sighed, called him a
“foolish, impatient little prat,” and told him to stop
complaining. Surely Harry knew that Severus wanted to be inside of
him as badly as Harry wanted him there, but he was absolutely not
going to do to Harry what had been done to him when he was young. He
would be careful, hurt him as little as possible. He knew what Harry
said with his mouth, but he could hardly believe anyone could get
used to being so invaded, especially when the boy's posterior muscles
were clamped so tightly around his fingers. He bit his lip, took a
steadying breath, and twisted the three fingers, gently spread them
inside of his love.
Harry moaned loudly as his
prostate was just barely brushed. “There. Oh, right there!
Please! Yes, oh please, please do that again!” he
begged.
Severus was relieved it was so
late, because if it wasn't someone would surely be outside the door
wondering just who was being murdered as loud as Harry was getting.
He spread his fingers in what he thought was probably the same way
and watched in awe as Harry's body jerked, his back arched, and he
moaned so loudly it was amazing the entire castle didn't hear him.
“S-severus,” Harry rasped, entire body shaking with lust
now. “Please.” The word was half a sob. “I'll be
fine. Your dick. Please put your dick in me. If
you...ease it in nice and slow...I'll be just fine so...aah, please
don't make me wait any longer.” His fingers were clawing at the
edge of the desk as if he was going to go mad if Snape didn't give
him what he wanted.
The lusty, pleading voice was
more than Snape could bear. He pulled his fingers out, eliciting a
soft whimper from Harry, and used the remaining potion on his own
erection. He hissed softly. He was so hard now that even the barest
touch felt so good it was nearly painful. He took a steadying breath
and positioned himself at his love's stretched entrance, praying it
was stretched well enough and really not being at all sure that he'd
done an adequate job. “Last chance, Harry. I...don't know if
I'll be able to stop myself if this goes any further.”
“Do
it,” Harry rasped. “You have no idea how long I've wanted
this. How badly. Please do it...” Harry whimpered. He felt as
if he barely had a voice. No fantasy could even begin to compare to
the reality of that satin head penetrating him, the thick shaft
slowly spreading him open, quivering inside of his body as it
stretched him further and further, went deeper, opened him up more
and more. He opened his mouth to moan, but he was so lost to the
sensation only the barest squeak escaped as he forgot to breathe.
Behind him, Severus let out
little hissing breaths as he tried to control himself at feeling the
tight heat enveloping his overly sensitive prick. When he was finally
all the way inside, he rested his head against Harry's shoulder and
took a few deep, long breaths to try to keep himself from going mad.
“Harry...a—ahhn...”
“
'm
fine,” Harry managed to mumble in return. “Feels good. So
good...in so deep...” He hoped Severus understood, because he'd
apparently lost all ability to form full sentences. “Fuck.”
After a moment of catching his
breath, Severus straightened. His clothes felt heavy and
constricting, and he roughly opened the collar of his robes so that
he could somehow get air into his lungs. This was the most he could
manage, because more than breathing he needed to move his hips. Now.
He grabbed Harry's hips with shaking fingers and pulled his hips back
slowly, then pushed slowly back in. The breath he let out turned into
a throaty moan. Amazing. Even if all Harry wanted from him was his
dick, he could no longer remember why he'd been trying to resist him
for so long. Each thrust became longer, went in deeper, sent more
pleasure rushing up and down his spine and made his chest feel like
it might implode.
“Harry.
Oooh. H-Harry...!”
“Sev!
Merlin!
Sev! Harder! F-faster! Oh—oh god...yes!
Yes! Fuck! Me! Oooh!'
Once he found the right angle,
brushed his dick against what he could only assume must be Harry's
prostate, the boy started screaming and begging for it harder,
faster, just more in general. Severus couldn't have denied him if
he'd wanted to. He began to thrust his hips recklessly into his young
lover. If Harry was in any pain, he was hiding it wonderfully. The
world seemed to be nothing but Harry's voice, his tight arsehole, and
these flashes of white light that kept going off behind Severus'
eyes. His pulse raced. He dragged his lips and teeth along Harry's
shoulder, wondered why the fuck he hadn't undressed, but focused most
of all on the tight heat around his cock that seemed to be trying to
suck him into Harry's body prick first.
Then, the world exploded. The
white flashes of pleasure pulsed, merged behind his vision, and
combusted. Heat burst out of his dick with such force that all he
could do was moan and quiver as the tight muscles around his member
spasmed. He was distantly aware of a voice screaming Harry's name,
but couldn't register that it was his own.
Harry screamed 'Sev!' in reply,
unable to get out the man's full name. It was a mantra as he came all
over the man's desk. Over and over. 'Sev! Sev! Sev! Seeevvv!' Hot
liquid spilled out between the wood and his stomach, while more of
the creamy fluid filled his hole. He tossed his head and dug long
gouges into the desktop with his fingernails as he screamed out his
pleasure before collapsing, spineless, against the wood. He moaned
slightly in protest as Severus pulled out of him and collapsed back
into the chair, panting for breath.
Neither man moved for quite a
while. Severus sat in the chair with his spent member hanging out of
his pants and his robes in disarray. Harry lay ass up against the
cool wood of the teacher's desk, careless for the moment of the mess
cooling underneath him. He was sated and spent and couldn't move. He
could feel the other man's seed dripping out of his hole and couldn't
help but feel smug and pleased with himself at finally making Severus
lose control in exactly the right way.
“Stay,”
Severus rasped after a long while. “Stay, Harry. Stay and be my
lover for as long as you'd like.”
Harry smiled against the
desktop, then lifted his body weakly until he managed to drop himself
chest to chest in Severus' lap and kiss him lazily, yet passionately.
“Mmn.” He was still out of breath. “Well,” he
rasped. “Since you asked so nicely, I guess I have no choice.”
Severus thought he should
definitely regret this, but somehow, the regret never came. Harry
rested his head against his shoulder and murmured contently when
Snape let his arms wrap lightly around the younger man's back. Even
if he was nothing more than a convenience for Harry, an older lover
who he would grow tired of as soon as the novelty wore off, Severus
knew he couldn't turn down what his former student was offering—the
chance to feel alive again, if only for a time, something to look
forward to when he woke up in the morning. It had been many, many
years since he'd last had that. Perhaps, he thought, the time Harry
gave him (however fleeting) would be a fond memory that could help
him carry on for many more. It was as much as he dared to hope for.
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