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It's Complicated	By : KohakuShadow Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2708 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and am not making any money off of it. The boys are all just so sexy I can't help playing with them a bit. I'll put them back when I'm done. In tact. ...probably.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-13
- 10
- 11
- 12
Chapter
11

Seamus had been dreading
this moment: Charlie standing in his doorway saying 'aren't you going
to invite me in?' with that beautiful smile.

When he stepped aside,
Charlie took in the boxes, mostly packed and sealed. “So, it's
true,” he said, his tone flat. “Marik told me, but I
didn't believe him. You're resigning.”

“I'm
resigning,” Seamus said, and it felt like it was about so much
more than his job in Romania as a dragon-keeper. “I just...it's
so far from home. I miss the air in Ireland, the sea, me mam's soda
bread.”

Charlie rested a hand on
his shoulder. “This isn't about soda bread, Shay, and we both
know it. There's no reason for you to resign.”

Seamus shook his head. “I
need some time,” he repeated. “You don't have to
understand. I just...need it. I need to go home, see my family, get
my shite together. Figure out...”

“...what
you want?”

“Figure
out...just...everything,” Seamus answered. “I can't do it
here.”

“Because
I'm here?” Charlie asked, but they both knew the answer.

“I
just...need some time. Cezar says I've done good work this past year,
saving the few mistakes at the beginning. He'll write me a good
letter of recommendation when I need it.”

“So
you won't come back then, to Romania,” Charlie said. He'd been
dreading this conversation and he hated how needy his voice sounded.

“I
don't know,” Seamus answered.

“...to
me?” Charlie dared to ask even though he knew it was way to
soon for this sort of conversation.

“...I
don't know,” Seamus answered, and he sounded just as upset
about it as Charlie did. “Feck, Charlie, do we have to talk
about this now? I just...I just don't know.”

“Sorry,”
Charlie sighed, pulling the younger man against him in a loose
embrace. “You know I had to ask, just in case I don't get
another chance.” He rested his chin on top of Seamus' head.
'Love
you,'
he
thought, but just barely managed to keep the confession in. It was
the last thing Seamus needed now. He was right. Of course he was. He
just needed some time, some time without drama, or love stories, to
get everything sorted, some time to grieve his decimated relationship
before he was ready to jump into another one. “If, when you've
had enough time, you just, say, show up on my doorstep sometime, I'll
let you in. Even if it's the middle of the night,” he murmured
into Seamus' hair. “I'll always let you in.”

“I
don't expect you to wait for me,” Seamus answered.

“I
know,” Charlie answered.

“I
might never come back.”

“I
know,” Charlie answered again.

“If...you
wanted to...you know...one more time, just in case I don't, I'd...be
okay with it.”

Charlie shook his head
into Seamus' hair and kissed the crown of his head. “No,”
he murmured. “When you're ready for it to be more than 'one
more time', then definitely. I'll wait until then.”

“I
just told you not to wait.”

“Mn,
but I'm going to wait anyway.”

“Stubborn
git.”

“Can't
help it,” Charlie answered. “It's a dragon-keeper thing.
We're all stubborn gits. Stubborn, reckless, passionate gits.”

Seamus gently pulled
away. He felt like if he let Charlie hold him a moment longer he'd
lose his resolve, and if he didn't clear up all his baggage, he'd
only make them both miserable in the end. He needed some time. The
part of him that was screaming about how much he loved Charlie and
didn't want to be away from him would just have to shut the fuck up
for now. “I need to finish packing.”

“Right.
When's your portkey?”

“Fecking
arse-end of dawn,” Seamus replied. “All this stuff's
getting transported to mam n' pap's place in the middle of the
night.”

“Shay,
you know...if it turns out what you need is a friend, rather than a
lover, I'd take it. In a heartbeat.”

“And
you know that would never make you happy, so don't bullshit,”
Seamus answered.

“Happier
than never seeing you again,” Charlie answered, running his
hand over Seamus' hair one more time. “Happy if it makes you
happy.”

“It
must be nice,” Seamus answered with a little smirk, “to
be so easy to please.” He let Charlie pull him into a tight
embrace. Just one more, he told himself. One more, and then he really
needs to go, but Charlie's hugs were just so comforting he couldn't
help but allow himself to melt into it, just for a little while. He
sighed softly into that beautiful, broad chest. “Gad,” he
drawled. “I wish I'd met you first. Things would have been so
different.” He took a deep breath, inhaling the man's scent one
more time.

“Things
can still be different,” Charlie murmured into his hair. “When
you're ready for them to be.”

“I'll
try not to make you wait too long.”

“Owl
me. Just, you know, let me know how you're doing, what's going on, or
if you need someone to rant at. Owl me for anything you want. It
doesn't matter how stupid. Take however long you need to, but keep in
touch. Don't make me worry. I'm a horrible worrier. I panic and show
up in the middle of the night. It used to drive Bill crazy his first
year in Egypt.”

“I
don't see you as much of a worrier,” Seamus chuckled.

“Oh,
I don't do it that often,” Charlie answered with a smirk, “but
when I do it, it's bad. I'm an all-out kind of guy.”

Seamus lightly trailed
his fingers along Charlie's cheek. He wanted to kiss him, but it
would be his undoing. Right now, kissing would only remind him of
Percy and George that night on the veranda, and every time he thought
of that night the bile rose in his throat.

“Well,
Mr. All-out, try to put some weight back on, would you? If you don't,
I'll be the one who's worried. You're getting too skinny.”

“I
still have a belly,” Charlie protested. “It's sort of a
little one now, but...”

“There's
nothing little about you,” Seamus laughed, his eyes sparkling
with humor for the first time in a long while as he cupped Charlie's
cheeks. “You're larger than life and that's just how I like
you.” He couldn't seem to stop his hands from dragging down
from Charlie's cheeks, across his broad shoulders and down his chest
to rest over his much-diminished tummy. “...so when I see you
next time, I want you to be back to normal, or I'll have to cause a
fuss.”

“Yes
mum,” Charlie joked. He paused as they stood there, encased in
one another's heat, and couldn't resist leaning down to kiss Seamus'
nose and the corner of his mouth, but he managed to stop himself
there. There would be no kissing. No snogging. Certainly no shagging.
That unspoken line had been drawn in the sand. He sighed and gave
Seamus one last big hug. “Merlin, I'm going to miss you.”
He held the younger man at arm's length. “Take care of
yourself, Shay.”

“You
too. Don't be too reckless. That new horntail you're taking on is a
nasty piece of work.”

Charlie grinned and
shrugged. “Well, yeah. Horntails usually are. I'll have 'er
tame as a kitten by the time you're back though. Just you watch.”

Seamus
shook his head and gave Charlie a shove towards the door. This had to
end. If it didn't he would never finish packing and would definitely
not get any sleep. “If you plan to be transmogrifying dragons
into kittens, then you definitely need
your beauty sleep, Char.”

“Ooh,
I see how it is, you only love me if I'm pretty,” Charlie
joked.

“I
love you more than it's sane to love anyone and you damn well know
it,” Seamus admitted accidentally, flushing after the fact. “Go
on. Git. I...I'll write soon, and we'll see how things go.”

Charlie's stupid grin
turned into a soft smile. “That's a promise,” he said.
“If you keep me waiting too long, I'm going to come kidnap you
– emotional baggage and all.”

***

There was a delighted
squeal and Seamus found himself crushed into a tight embrace. “EEE!
My baby's come home!” Mrs. Finnigan declared.

“Mphlmuphupf,”
Seamus mumbled, flailing a bit against his mother's ample bosom and
trying to free himself from her death grip.

“Meg,
darling, I think you're going to suffocate him if you keep it up.”

“Oh,
you shush Connie,” Meg Finnigan told her husband. “He's
my only baby boy, and the little brat hasn't been home in months,
na'even an owl! Worryin' his poor mam sick, messin' about with
dragons. Those flame toads he was always chasin' as a boy had me
worried enough.” But she finally released him. “Lookit
you,” she sighed. “So tall.”

“I'm
exactly the same height I've always been, mam.” And that wasn't
even close to tall. It was only when he came home that he didn't feel
like a midget.

He got pulled into
another hug, but by his father and not nearly as suffocating.
“Welcome home, m'boy.”

Just seeing his parents
again made everything feel so much better, so much more right.
“ 'm home,” he sighed contently. “Me stuff got here
alright?”

“
'course,”
his father said. “All those magic ways and means really are
somethin' else.” His father said things like that once in a
while. No matter how long he lived with a witch and a wizard and all
their crazy cousins and nephews and uncles flitting about, he said
that there were some things that were just impossible to get used to.
“Your porn collection is perfectly safe,” he joked.

“Pap!”
Seamus declared, embarrassment racing across his cheeks.

“Well,
ye've got one, don't ya? Just because my boy's gay don't mean there's
no hormones in 'im. Nothin' wrong with it. Just means you're a normal
guy. I don't want details, mind,” he joked, wrapping his arm
around Seamus' shoulders and leading him in the house as his mother
said. “What do ye want first, Seamus' dear? Food or sleep?”

Seamus could smell
freshly baked bread from the kitchen and his stomach instantly
rumbled. “Oh Gad! Home cookin'...mam, ye're the best.” He
tackled her in a big hug and ran ahead into the house. This was all
so nice. His parents fussing over him and spoiling him. He knew he
shouldn't get too used to it. He was an adult now, but for a little
while, just being a spoiled only child and having nothing to worry
about but taping up the pieces of his broken heart was just what the
healer ordered.

Three days in he found
himself sitting at his desk with a quill.

Dear Charlie,

Got home safe and
sound, so don't start fussing and worrying just yet. Been relaxing –
getting used to the time difference again, and eating. Home cooking
really is grand, isn't it? It's right nice here – the weather
that is – by the water. I bet it's hot as balls in Romania now,
huh?

He paused, thinking of a
sweltering August. Charlie getting home from a long day on the
reserve, dripping sweat and peeling off his dragonhide protective
gear and his shirt... he bit his lip, then released a shaky breath.

Dawned on me this
morning that Tia's babes are adults now. Is the reserve keeping 'em
all? Or are they being shipped about? Korean Blues like warm weather,
don't they? The summer's been pretty mild. Are they okay? I wonder
why I never thought to ask about that until now.

Oh, do me a favor?
Tell Marik the secret ingredient is applesauce. I asked Mam. He'll
know what I'm talking about.

Hoping You're Well,

Seamus

***

Charlie sat back on the
couch and read the brief letter again. He was in his shorts with a
bottle of ale and a huge plate of pasta settled on the coffee table
before him, already half eaten, and had one hand resting on his
stomach. He smiled to himself. That Seamus was asking about things on
the reserve and asking him to communicate things to their coworkers
was proof that he missed it already, and it had only been three days.
“I miss you too, love,” he murmured to the parchment,
setting it aside for now to finish eating before he replied. After he
washed his plate, he grabbed a pie from the box on the counter and
stuffed it in his mouth, grabbing a second to sit down at the kitchen
table and munch on while he wrote his reply to Seamus. He didn't feel
the least bit ill for indulging his love of food. A good meal and
good friends were the things that made him happiest in life. A good
lover would be nice too, but he was working on that one.

Dear Seamus,

We lost two of them
during the late June chill, but the bulk of Tia's lot are just fine.
We're shipping a few back home to Korea at the end of the month, and
one down to Italy. We're widening the range for the last two –
they'll be too big to stay in with mama Tia in no time at all. Their
names are Kegan and Kirsh. The twins, you remember, right? The two
boys that popped out of one egg? Can't separate 'em to save a life.
Cezar says they're just loving brothers, but Marik's been joking,
saying I turned 'em gay. Cezar gets all mad at him for that.
Something about sexual innuendo being inappropriate in the workplace.
If he had any clue what
goes on at the reserve when no one's watching, he'd realize innuendo
is the least of his problems, just saying.

He paused, remembering
that first time when Tia was pregnant and wigged out because he and
Seamus were snogging and groping the hell out of one another. Mmn,
good times, there. He'd take the injury again, if it meant feeling
Seamus' hands rubbing salve onto his back...and other, more sensitive
parts of his anatomy. He shook off that line of thinking for now and
finished off his pie.

The horntail's a right
bitch; you were right about that. Worse than the last one. I'd have a
nasty gash on my forearm if not for the gear to prove it too, but I
think he's starting to take to me. Singed my hair a bit though. I had
to get it cut. Mum would be thrilled. It'll grow back in no time,
though. Gotta have hair at least long enough to run your fingers
through, right? Or do you like bald men?

Thinking of you,

Charlie

***

Seamus barked out a
laugh. 'Bald?' he mouthed. “Merlin's beard, Char, you're the
best.”

Dear Charlie,

I like your hair as it
is – or was when I last saw it – so don't go shaving your
head on my account...

They spent the next three
months exchanging letters like this. Seamus looked forward to every
one. Every stupid joke, every story about the dragons, or Marik's
moaning about how his girlfriend said his cooking was shite. She
loved him anyway, of course, but Marik's 'pride as a man' – as
he called it – had seen him enrolled in a cooking course. Kegan
and Kirsch were 'playful little bastards' and the horntail 'is just a
snarky git, but now that I realize he's sort of a bit like dealing
with Snape, we've come to an understanding'.

The letters were mostly
just chatty nonsense and a lot of jokes, some flirting. Charlie was
careful to keep the conversation light, but when the holidays
approached he couldn't help himself:

Dear Seamus,

I'll be in England for
the holidays again this year. Do you think you'll be able to find
some time to meet up with me? It doesn't have to be anything serious.
Lunch, or something, since I'll be in the area. I'd like to see you.'

It took Seamus a long
time to decide how to answer that letter. Nothing serious? Had things
ever been anything but serious between him and Charlie? Was he ready
for serious? It was so relaxing, just hanging about his parents
house, meeting up with old friends for a drink, brushing off any
comments about his persistent lack of love life. He knew it couldn't
last forever. He didn't want it to last forever, really, and he did
miss Charlie. The constant letters weren't the same as his goofy
smile and his warm eyes and his tight embrace. He loved Charlie. It
should be that simple, shouldn't it? 'I love him. He loves me.' But
it wasn't that simple. How could it be? Nothing had ever been that
simple, because loving Charlie wasn't just about Charlie. Charlie
came with this whole family – a family he would have to spend
time with...and that family included Percy and George. There was
still an ache when he thought of Percy and George. It wasn't
bitterness, really. It was hardly even disdain, but he still felt
nauseous thinking about it, thinking about what they'd been doing,
about how he'd been led on for so many years...but mostly thinking
about how badly he'd reacted to it. He was going to be paying off the
damages he'd done to that villa for life. It wasn't the money
that got him, it was that he was a full grown wizard and his temper
still sent him spiraling out of control enough that he could burn
down an entire house, by accident. If he was going to
be with Charlie, then he had to get over his anger enough that the
whole Percy issue wouldn't cause him to set the dinner table on fire.

“Ye're
thinking too deep into this, Shay. It's just a meal. You and Charlie.
No families. No promises. Just you and the most sexy man on the
fecking planet. Are ye planning to let Percy-fecking-Weasley ruin
every good thing in yer life? Don't be stupid. Ye're finally free,
aren't you?” He sighed and rested his head on the desk. “So
why can't you just let yourself be free, then? Charlie wouldn't care,
would he? Just keepin' you to himself for a while, not tellin' his
family...just until you're ready...just until you know you won't
freak the hell out and set the damned house on fire...again...he'd
probably be great about it. ...but you'll feel like an arse, asking
him to keep secrets like that, won't you, after all the secrets
you've had to deal with for so many years. You'd be
an arse to ask that of him and you know it.”

He sighed and, against
his better judgment, told Charlie he'd love to meet up with him for
lunch, dinner, or whatever meal he wanted provided he didn't have to
be out of bed before nine A.M. and that Charlie should decide on the
details. 'I'm unemployed n'all, so just about whenever as long as
it's not Christmas Day works for me,' he'd written. Christmas Day was
for family. Mam. Pap. Stupid Cousin Fergus who'd taken to spelling
Seamus' clothes pink and calling him 'princess'. There had even been
an incident with a tiara. Thinking about it made Seamus clench his
quill tightly and the feathers suddenly lit up with a slight flame.
He cussed and shook it out. “Me temper's gonna mean the end of
me,” Seamus sighed before signing his name and heading out to
the barn to owl the letter out. He just hoped meeting Charlie now
wasn't as horrible an idea as he felt like it was.
- 10
- 11
- 12
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It's Complicated