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That which we make for ourselves	By : magentasouth Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Tom Views: 38078 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from any part of the Harry Potter universe

Chapter List
- 1-That which we make for ourselves
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 4-Ch 4
- 5-Ch 5
- 6-Ch 6
- 7-Ch 7
- 8-Ch 8
- 9-Ch 9
- 10-Ch 10
- 11-Ch 11
- 12-Ch 12
- 13-Ch 13
- 14-Ch 14
- 15-Ch 15
- 16-Ch 16
- 17-Ch 17
- 18-Ch 18
- 19-Ch 19
- 20-Ch 20
- 21-Ch 21
- 22-Ch 22
- 23-Ch 23
- 24-Ch 24
- 25-ch 25 - provisional
- 26-Ch 26
- 27-Ch 27
- 10
- 11
- 12
Walking down the stairs toward the Dungeons an hour later, Tom�s
mind was turning over rapidly.� He had an
idea how to handle the problem but the details were problematic.�

He needed information immediately and he was not certain that the information
he required was attainable.��

Grindelwald had been an interest
of his for a while now.. He�d had his knights seeking
information on the topic for the last couple of years.�

The approximate whereabouts of Gellert Grindelwald�s castle �Nurmengard� was known to him.

For a long time he�d imagined how it might be to meet the great wizard.. he�d actually fantasized about
joining him.. about gaining his recognition.. but due to the pathetic weakness of his mother in seducing a
muggle � he suspected that Grindelwald would probably not be inclined to accept him,
even in light of his founder heritage.�

But this was different.�
He had information which the wizard might want..

it might be possible to persuade him to trade and
escape with his skin intact.

He needed to contact him.. more than that.. he needed to meet
with him.�

In doing so, he had no intention of using a school owl,
quite apart from the fact that the poor creatures would be hard pressed to fly
to Russia to deliver the message.�

Antonin would have contacts in Russia who could help
him.�

How though, was he to leave Hogwarts in the middle of the
week?!� Damn Dumbledore for forcing his
hand in this way.�

He couldn�t allow him to fabricate a reason to remove Caed
from School.. and he knew
that the bastard would definitely follow through, provided he felt assured he
could still access him in Azkaban.. or wherever else Caed might end up if Tom lost sight of him here.�

The information in Caed�s head was too valuable.�

And.. he
conceded reluctantly.. the rest of the boy was quite
tolerable also.�

He passed through the shield into the common room, his eyes
falling upon a familiar if not particularly well-liked face.�

Willowstead was scowling at him
from across the room.��

Another loose end, he mused.�
Snipping his fingers and gesturing for the surly little twat to come
over to him he continued en route to the dormroom.�

Willowstead, he noted looked a bit brighter now.� Obviously he imagined that Tom was going to
put him back into the most prestigious dorm group once more.�

Silly tosser, Tom sneered inwardly.� He had resided in the room the entire year
and had not once been invited to join the others at breakfast or in other
social gatherings.� Did he not realise
that he would never be part of them?�

He let himself into the dorm without knocking, holding the
door open for Willowstead and closing it after
him.� The others were looking at him with
various blank expressions.�

Abraxas, as he looked at him, raised a perfectly shaped brow a barely
perceptible millimetre.�

Tom answered it by stunning Willowstead
in the back.�

The black haired boy crumpled heavily to the floor.�

�Antonin..
I require your assistance.� I would speak
with Grindelwald in person by the end of the
night.� Can this be achieved?��

Antonin�s jaw dropped � A reaction that Tom had never
seen from the generally unflappable boy.

�What?� I ..why? are you certain?�
I..don�t know..By the end of the night?! �I..I can ask my
father.� Perhaps?��

Tom frowned slightly �How long will that take?!��

The other boy shook his head slightly. �I have an emergency portkey but ..��

�Very well. We will both go.� You will be returning.� I shall make you a portkey
back myself.��

Antonin nodded, still looking slightly shellshocked.�

�Tom... what is going on?!� Abraxas asked quietly, with real
concern in his voice.�

�I will tell you later perhaps, when I am successful� he
offered back. �How much polyjuice do we have left?��

Darius responded to this � he was generally the one
responsible for potions they kept in reserve.�

�um.. a lot.� I just finished a batch last week.� There�s enough for..
maybe.. sixty doses?��

Tom nodded thoughtfully, looking from face to face.� In the end he looked speculatively between Roan
and Abraxas.�

Roan was unshakeably loyal.. however
Abraxas was more ruthless.� No.. Whoever he chose would need to be frequently absent
from class.�

He looked to Roan.� �You are going to be
in charge of ensuring that our Mr Willowstead here is
dosed once hourly with polyjuice.� He will be taking Caed�s
place in the infirmary.�

�Caed�s in the infirmary??!� Gyphus started up.� �What happened?!��

Tom glanced at him irritably. �I broke his arm and ribs.� He�s fine.�

Gyphus frowned angrily, clearly about to launch into
a rant.

He cut him off.� �You�ll see him shortly
when Abraxas brings him down from the infirmary.� He will play me until I return or the polyjuice runs
out, whichever occurs first.�

I do not know how this little meeting is going to play out so I�d like you to
see about purchasing further supplies of polyjuice in
case I am detained longer than two days.� �

Alphard reached his tolerance. �TOM!!� Stop!�
What is going ON?!� Caed is supposed to pretend to be you? �How is he supposed to
do that for Nimue�s sake?!� He doesn�t take any of your subjects.� He is an utter mouse.. There is no way anyone would
believe it.��

Tom allowed a small smirk. �We shall see.� You are right however � he will fail
miserably in most of my classes so he must not be forced to demonstrate
proficiency in them.� Abraxas, Alphard � one of you will remain by his side at all times.�

You will go with him to the bathroom and you will accompany him on my
patrols.�

You will not leave any opportunity for a student or professor to be alone with
him.�

There are many things to which he will not know the answer in class and in his
dealings with other students - you will provide him with those answers.� All of
you will, in fact � with the exception of Roan.�
Roan I wish you to focus only on Willowstead.� If he returns to his own form then all other
efforts will be for nought.� Your task is
crucial.��

The faces of his knights were, to a man, extremely unsettled
about this sudden array of demands.�

Abraxas stepped forward, his expression silently begging him
to see reason �Tom.. Why are you going to find Grindelwald �
this is insanity!� Please.. tell us what has happened!� Alphard is right �
you can�t expect this little urchin who has known you for all of five minutes
to convince anyone..
they�ll catch us using polyjuice!� We�ll be expelled
Tom!� My father ��

�I believe I spoke to you already regarding questioning my
plans, Abraxas.� If I require it of you �
it is what you will do.� If I tell you
that Caed will adequately play the part � I will not
tolerate your doubt!!��

He punctuated his statement by severing a large hank of hair from the back of
his neck, using a charm to regrow it.�

�Take this now.� Prepare polyjuice for Caed.� Go, Abraxas!�
You are wasting my time.��

Walking over to Willowstead he cut
a hank of the crumpled boy�s hair also.�

�Willowstead cannot be reported missing.� Take turns with the polyjuice.� You do not have to be consistent.� Simply ensure that he is seen walking through
the corridors a few times a day..� I�ll have the house elves move his things
back into this room for the moment.� His
dorm mates will assume he has returned.��

Ten tense minutes later found him walking up the stairs once
more with Antonin, Roan, Abraxas and an imperiused Willowstead.�

They reached the infirmary without incident and Madam Ricktor
did not appear to be around.� It was a
small matter to enervate Caed, repair his eyes and
instruct him to take the polyjuice to appear as Willowstead.�

He seemed about to argue or question but a harsh look
silenced him and he swallowed the foul greenish liquid with a mild grimace even
as Willowstead knocked his own phial back absent
expression.�

He had transfigured the two boys clothing and made Willowstead
get into bed and then as the three watched he had blinded him � while the
physical damage of the broken bones would be carried over by polyjuice, certain hexes � like the suppression spell, were
not.�

The transfer of the imperio from Tom to Roan passed without a hitch and Abraxas,
Antonin, Caed and himself
left the pensive boy with the silent quiescent Willowstead.

What are you doing?!! Caed hissed
at him as they walked back downstairs.� �

He looked back, narrowing his eyes and said nothing.�

Caed glared but after a long, tense
second looked away, cowed.�

�One moment� he told the others, pulling the boy into an
alcove.�

It was horridly distracting that Caed was in Willowstead�s body.�
Lane Willowstead had nothing even remotely
attractive about him, in Tom�s opinion.�

Nevertheless � he needed Caed to behave himself in
his absence.�

�I am saving you..� he murmured
softly into the unfamiliar ear.�

Caed-willowstead looked up at him
bewildered..

�How?!� Why did you put that..this.. boy in my place.�
Dumbledore will know it�s not me!��

Tom shook his head slightly. �No.� He won�t.�
Roan will take care of it.�

You will listen to Abraxas and Gyphus in my absence.��

Caed hissed, alarmed �Your Absence?!� Where are you going?!!��

He hesitated for a moment about telling him.

�I am going to find information to use against the wizard
who is currently blackmailing you.��

The wretched incorrect face blanched, understanding.�

�But.. you
didn�t.. I don�t know.. nobody
ever recorded that you went to meet with him.� Someone
would have noted that, surely!!� What if
you�re changing the timeline?�

Tom.. I.. I don�t want..please don�t
go.��

He offered Caed a small smile
back. �Don�t worry.� I�ve wanted to meet
him for a while.� This is just a little
sooner than I planned.� I am confident
that it will be fine.�

If you wish to help me � play your role here well. Let no one suspect.��

Caed-willowstead shook his head
hurriedly and whispered, turning his face away from the other�s eyes

�What about Grindelwald�s views on blood?!.. he�ll..he�ll
kill you.. and..�
The boy trailed off.�

Tom had the impression that he was conflicted.�

Glancing quickly at the others, who were positioned facing
away, monitoring the corridor to either side, he steeled himself and leaned in,
catching Caed�s lips.�

The kiss was altogether unsatisfactory for him.. Willowstead felt and tasted wrong..
he wished for a moment that he had kissed Caed before he changed �just in case he didn�t have another
opportunity..� but
that was foolish thinking and, after all, the boy reacted exactly as he would
have in his own body.� Tom felt him melt
slightly.�

After he released his lips, Caed-willowstead
clung to him needily.�
He whimpered �Please..don�t go..He�ll.. I ..�

Tom let him go slightly as the boy pulled away angrily.� �Fuck.. this is wrong!� I�m
completely fucking sick for feeling
this way ..but I don�t want you to die..��

Tom smiled thinly.

�Trust me, Caed.�
Do as I ask of you.� I will return
in a few days at most.� Listen.� Go with Abraxas.� The password to my room is emerald�� He kissed him again
lightly and turned away, leaving the other boy looking forlorn and
confused.�

�Abraxas.� Take him back downstairs.� Antonin!��

He considered the rigidly controlled expression on the sharp lines of the aristocratic
blonde�s face and the way he avoided meeting his eye.� Abraxas was furious and frustrated.�

He hoped Caed would rise to the task.� If he failed.. there was much on the line for all of them.�

Somehow he suspected that if Abraxas had known the purpose
of his journey, he might have been less inclined to follow orders.� Protecting the foolish little time traveller
went against the most severe of ministry regulations.� It could ruin them all if this plan
failed.�

He was certain that Abraxas would have counselled him to get rid of Caed if he wasn�t willing to turn him in to the
ministry.� An accident or perhaps he
might run away and never be heard from again.��

He met Antonin�s black eyes when
the boy sidled past Caed as they exchanged places in
the alcove.� The russian pulled out a necklace with a silver ring
strung onto it.�

�Please hold on� he said reluctantly. �We will port to my family home.� We can summon my father there.��

Tom nodded and hooked his finger into the ring, opposite Antonins.�

He did not turn his head again to see the fright in willowstead-Caeds eyes or the disapproval hidden behind Abraxas
silvery orbs.�

Antonin spoke a word in Russian � a language he did
not master � and the portkey ripped them both away.

�Come on then!�� Harry
was roughly shoved from the side and turned in shock.

�What?!��

The familiar Malfoy face offered an even more familiar sneer
and hissed, apparently to himself ��This is ridiculous.� What in Merlin�s name is he thinking.� Come on Caed.� Let�s go.��

Caed followed along hurriedly as Abraxas marched them
back down to the dormroom silently, looking pissy.�

When they arrived, he found Gyphus,
Alphard, Darius and Palmer talking low among themselves.�

They shut up as he came in and Gyphus looked at him
slightly guiltily.

�He�s gone with Antonin.� Willowstead and Roan
are in the infirmary.� Abraxas stated, swanning over
to his bed and sitting down in a manner that exuded frustrated irritation.

�He will be back.� Take care with your words Alphard.��

Black rolled his eyes. �He�s gone to fucking Grindelwald.� He probably won�t be back.. and
we�re supposed to have ..this..
take his place? Think Brax!�� Alphard gestured disgustedly.�

�What?!� Harry gasped?� �I.. thought I was
supposed to take Willowstead�s place.� I�m.. I can�t take Tom�s
place.� Maybe for a few hours if he just
had to be seen but not.. I can�t..I
don�t know enough!!��

Abraxas pursed his lips and Alphard
looked at the others as if to say �see!�
I�m right.� Even he sees it�.�

After a long pensive minute Abraxas said coldly -� �Nevertheless.� You Will do it, Caed.� He has ordered it.� For whatever reason, in his ineffable wisdom, he has decided that it
is to be you.�

Someone give him some polyjuice!�� We had best see exactly how exposed we all
are��

Harry stumbled forward and sat down on the bed. �He said
he�d be away for a few days.� I ..I don�t even know
what classes he has.� How am I supposed
to..

Damn it.. he said... when he
said he might want me to do this I thought it would be something short.. just sit and study as him in the library or something.. just something for an hour sometime maybe and not right away.��

Gyphus sat down next to him. �He
already talked about you taking his place sometime?� Why?!!��

Harry looked up uncertainly.�

�Here.� Swallow it.� Abraxas
shoved a glass of silvery fluid under his nose.�
It glittered strangely like metal filings.�

He accepted the glass and held it as Abraxas leaned over him slightly with
folded arms looking irate.

�Now,
Caed!�
We have far too little time to turn you into the barest imitation of
Tom.��

Harry felt a bit insulted at the derisive tone.. and the way it was reflected on Alphards and, to a much more subdued extent even on Darius
face.

�Don�t worry.� You�ll be fine� Gyphus offered sympathetically beside him, Harry felt a
strong arm settle around his shoulders.�

He forced himself to sit up and blank his face.� It was harder than it had been when he was
facing Tom.�

The irritation on Abraxas face didn�t shift an inch.�

Tilting the glass to his mouth he started to drink.� It tasted like honeyed pear..but
as he swallowed the taste turned sour.. bitter..he forced the rest down.�

It was quite a strange uncomfortable incongruence of the sweet on his tongue
and the bitter in his throat.�

He felt sharp painful bubbling beginning and curled down
over his knees into a tight ball, straining to remain quiet in the face of the
stabbing pulling grinding sensation as his bones, muscles and skin rearranged
themselves.�

When he looked up, he noticed that his vision was very
slightly clearer.�

He realised at the critical looks on the other�s faces (except Gyphus who looked pensive) that he must be wearing an
expression that Tom wouldn�t have.� He
focused himself internally, thinking about Tom Riddle..
thinking about the boy he�d seen in the chamber of
secrets.. in the memory fragment.. thinking
about everything he�d seen of Tom over the last few days.� He wouldn�t sit like this..

Pulling his shoulders back, he straightened his spine,
throwing off the softness and emulating that silky catlike grace and composed
untouchable poise that Tom exuded.�

He adjusted his face carefully, simulating that distant utterly confident
expression, curling his lips up slightly into a tiny smirk at the startled
looks the others gave him.

�What did I tell you about questioning me, Abraxas?!� he
said quietly..threateningly, hiding the glee that surged
through him at the momentary panic in Draco�s grandfathers eyes.

�Merlin�s saggy balls!..� Gyphus jumped up and looked at him in disbelief. �Fuck.. that sounded just like him..�

Harry turned his steely amused gaze upon him and rose
gracefully.� �I am pleased to hear you
think so.� ..Alphard?��

Harry raised his brow questioningly.�

Alphard looked torn between shock
and anger.

�You still won�t be able to pass in his classes.� You�ll only need to open your mouth in runes
and this daft little game will be through.. and I don�t know what
you�re going to do in languages.� Do you
know any Arabic?� Did he teach you anything?� This is never going to work!��

Harry narrowed his eyes and reached for his wand, laughing
inside at the way Alphard�s eyes widened.�

�I will not be answering questions in languages.� I have a..cold.� When I must answer in other classes � you will give me the correct answer!� Find a way, Alphard!��

�I think he can do
it� Darius piped up suddenly.�

Palmer hesitated and then nodded, a strange twisted smile growing on his face.
�His voice even sounds the same.� Merlin,
If he came to breakfast in Tom�s place and read the
newspaper, I don�t know whether I�d
be able to tell it�s not him.��

Abraxas frowned and stepped closer.� �And just how do you propose to deal with Elana?� he asked dubiously.�

Harry paused for a moment in surprise, ensuring he kept a
mild thoughtful expression on his face.�
He�d never slept with a girl before.�
Tom on the other hand seemed to be quite experienced.� Elana would know something was wrong..

she was
beautiful though.. nothing like Hermione but then.. no one ever would be.�

His stomach clenched.� He hadn�t just been
thinking about tricking someone into fucking him using polyjuice.�

It was a horrible thing to do.. like
date rape in the muggle world.� He wouldn�t
do that, obviously.�

He wasn�t thinking about it or anything.�

He responded slowly� �I think I may avoid her.� I do not want to pass on my cold, after
all.��

Abraxas nodded curtly.�
�that is
the only rational course of action.� The
girl is certainly not mindless enough not to notice that there is something wrong with you when you do not
kiss the same way.. when you
hold her differently and so forth.�

I doubt that Tom would wish you to ruin his situation with her.��

Gyphus was suddenly at Harry�s
side again, his arm around his shoulders.�
�Yeah..but she is pretty tasty, don�t you think?�
You could have a ride or two and confund her a
little.� I�m sure you know that charm,
right?�

Fuck.. if you don�t, I�ll teach it to you!��

Frowning, Harry shook his head.� �no.� I won�t be bedding and confunding
Elana, Gyphus.� The matter is settled��

Gyphus snickered at his side.� �God..they�re like
fucking twins.� He�s the nice harmless twin.�

Caed.. If you knew the things Tom has done.. the things he enjoys..��
he laughed.

�But I�ll leave it for a surprise I think.�
I�m sure you�ll see tomor..� Oh bloody Hecate�s frozen tit.� We�re not going to miss out again tomorrow are we?��

All the boys except Abraxas groaned in renewed irritation.�

It was a tiring two hours before Abraxas took him to walk
Tom�s rounds and dropped him off at the mermaid portrait � however it was a
very quick two minutes between entering the door and sliding into Tom�s
bed.�

He didn�t bother with pajamas.� He didn�t feel like digging through Tom�s
wardrobe for some and it didn�t seem like Tom would be coming back
tonight.�

Instead he slipped into bed naked.. slipped
in still wearing Tom�s skin.. turned over and buried
his face in the pillow which smelled like Tom�s hair.�

His scent was everywhere.�

Lying here he remembered how it felt to wake in his arms.� Before he�d realised where he was, he�d felt
safer and happier than...

it was so hard to make a
comparison.� That moment of ignorance.. perhaps he had never felt that warm and content.�

This situation was crazy.�
Impossible.�
How could he enjoy Voldemort�s touch?!�
Tom was Voldemort � would be Voldemort.. NO.. he
was him already.�

How he�d reacted when Harry had called him by that name.� He was already the monster. �

It was impossible that Harry should worry about him... or..miss him at all.�

He burrowed down in the bed.�
Ten minutes later the polyjuice wearing off
woke him again and he became aware anew of Tom�s scent around him.

A tiny pang of loneliness pricked him as he drifted back to
sleep again.

Author note.

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That which we make for ourselves