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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 109
- 110
- 111
Chapter 110: Laying the Foundations

"How did you get this information?" demanded Minerva, staring at the list of passageways Snape told her he intended to seal.

"From Dumbledore – of course."

"He would never give you this information! He would never jeopardise his students!"

"He has no choice. You know that, Minerva. All former headmasters must assist the incumbent of the office."

Snape saw her jaw work in anger. He changed tactics.

"And why should the sealing of these passages jeopardise the students, may I ask? I would have thought such passageways could only be used for mischief. You surely wouldn't want to encourage our students to break curfew or take unauthorised trips to Hogsmeade, I'm sure," said Snape reasonably. "Not when there could be … severe repercussions."

"Very well." She regarded him coldly.

"After we have sealed these, I require access to the Magical Quill."

"Invitations to the school are the purview of the Deputy Head. The Headmaster has no call on the Magical Quill." Minerva's chin rose defiantly.

"You dare question me?"

"I am not questioning you, Severus. I am merely stating the lore of Hogwarts. Convention places the responsibility for - and therefore access to - the Magical Quill with me – as Deputy Head."

Snape's nostrils flared, but inwardly he could have awarded Minerva house points for keeping her cool and quoting lore at him.

"And if I remove you as Deputy Head?" he said menacingly.

"Where will your precious continuity be then, Headmaster?" she responded tartly.

"We shall see," said Snape with asperity, as if thwarted. "The passageways."

He turned on his heel for her to follow him, satisfied that only a small prompt from Lupin would be necessary after that.

oooOOOooo

When Snape reported the sealing of the passageways to the Dark Lord, he did not tell him of the Magical Quill. It was one thing for him to neglect to pursue it but he couldn't count on one of the Carrows not to take it upon themselves to try to obtain the information from Minerva. He had to count on the Dark Lord's ignorance of magic outside that of his own interests.

"Well done, Severus," said the Dark Lord. "You know, there was a time when I offered to teach at Hogwarts. Did Dumbledore ever tell you?"

"No, my Lord," replied Snape, outwardly calm, but genuinely shocked.

"Oh yes," said the Dark Lord, quite conversationally. "I could have taught them such magic. Such magic! But Dumbledore was such a simpleton about magic – so very closed-minded. He could have been great, you know – if he hadn't been so limited … by love."

oooOOOooo

"He wanted access to the castle, I am sure," said the portrait. "I believe he looked for a hiding place."

"For himself?" asked Snape.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Don't speak in riddles, man!" snapped Snape.

"How droll, Severus," the portrait said, with a chuckle.

"You are infuriating."

oooOOOooo

"What does he mean by that?" asked Lupin, as he arranged the clothes Tippy handed to him from the packages she had brought from their flat.

"Sometimes, I think he delights in annoying me, playing his games. Why he just won't say that he cannot tell me, I don't know." Snape threw himself in the bedroom chair as he watched Lupin hang up his clothes in his wardrobe. He smiled, his irritation forgotten as the room became theirs rather than just his alone. His pleasant reverie was interrupted as Lupin spoke again.

"There's so much I don't understand, Severus. When you think what Albus allowed – not just allowed to happen to us, but the deaths, the torture – why did he not duel You-Know-Who just as he duelled Grindelwald? Why did he leave one so long, and the other all together?"

Snape sighed. He really wasn't at all sure what he should tell Lupin or really how much he understood himself. Dumbledore had always kept him in the dark.

"As to the first, I really don't know. As for the second, I believe … I believe Albus considered that the Dark Magic which prevented the Dark Lord's death in 1981 is still active, keeping him tethered to life. Such a duel might have just left us as we are now, or even ended up in Albus's death or incapacity. We couldn't afford to lose Albus." Snape paused as he saw the look of incredulity on Lupin's face.

"But we have lost him. I have no doubt that we face arts as Dark as they can be, but don't you think Albus should have been inclusive of us, preparing us to carry on his work, rather than trying to play us like pawns?" asked Lupin bitterly.

Snape rose from his chair to stand by Lupin and rested a hand comfortingly on his shoulder.

"I don't believe he ever meant to hurt us, Remus. I sometimes wonder if he was just so much older, so remote, that he was just completely divorced from our reality …"

"It's no excuse for what he did," said Lupin, his voice now thick, and Snape knew Lupin meant what he had done to them. "How do we know he won't try to separate us again. You trust him still?"

Snape inhaled sharply, understanding more than Lupin realised. Lupin had trusted Dumbledore for so many years as one would a father – implicitly and completely. Over these last few years his eyes had been opened to more of what Snape knew of Dumbledore – the tactician, the master of magic, the general prepared to sacrifice even those he cared about. But even knowing all of this, Snape knew they shared the same goal in the destruction of the Dark Lord, and he had made his peace with Dumbledore.

"We won't allow it. And yes. I trust him still. But I don't follow him blindly. Not any more."

Lupin searched Snape's eyes as if to find the truth of his declaration and then exhaled heavily and nodded. Snape squeezed his hand.

"Now, I've managed to persuade the Dark Lord that I should remain here to keep an eye on the staff when they return so I hope he won't call me too often. But until then, I have to take my turn guarding Grimmauld Place." Snape reached inside the wardrobe for his light summer cloak.

"They know where it is? I mean … Harry's in there!"

"Well, they know from Bellatrix and Narcissa roughly where it is, but they still can't see it. Don't worry. Potter, Weasley and Granger know to Apparate precisely on the door step, don't they?"

Lupin nodded but his face was ashen.

"Does Vo – You-Know-Who know Albus was the Secret Keeper."

"No. He thinks the Secret Keeper still lives. If he ever knew that I am now a Secret Keeper, together with every member of the Order, my life would be worth very little."

Lupin's hand clasped his.

"He might use Veritaserum on you -"

"I carry the antidote with me. And perhaps you should too. And maybe another antidote ..."

He watched the realisation dawn on Lupin.

"To Amortentia, you mean?"

"Yes. There will be times you will have to see her. I'll take no risks. Really, you should call a meeting as soon as possible now I've primed Minerva."

Lupin nodded, almost as if chastised. That small flicker of worry worked at Snape's gut. He was rushing Lupin – into meetings with Tonks and with the Order. But what else could he do? They simply did not have the luxury of time!

oooOOOooo

Wrapped in his cloak with the hood up on a warm August evening made Snape feel nothing short of ridiculous as he pretended not to see number twelve Grimmauld Place. He fixed his eyes exactly mid-point on the building, knowing that both Yaxley and Macnair would see nothing but the building line between number eleven and number thirteen. It was pointless work, but preferable to being part of Bellatrix's torture parties. He was grateful there was an alternative.

It was also an opportunity to milk Yaxley and Macnair for information about their work at the Ministry. Both were eager to show off the power and influence they now could wield, puffing their chests out with their own self-importance as they bragged about the Muggle-borns being 'invited' to the Ministry and their wands being confiscated. They were put on trial – those trials being foregone conclusions. Macnair revelled in his occupation of gaoler responsible for their transport to Azkaban. Except – of course – for those to whom Death Eaters might have taken a shine.

Snape's half smile was frozen was Macnair regaled them with stories of how he choose his 'special cases' for his own brand of entertainment, or how Greyback had carte blanche to keep those he 'snatched' if they interested him.

As he relayed it all to Lupin on his return, they agreed that they could no longer delay. Lupin sent owls to all members of the Order to meet.

oooOOOooo

Snape couldn't deny that he had seen Lupin off through the Floo with trepidation. And yet, he knew that Lupin's apprehension was worse.

It was Lupin who would have to face the Order – people he had known, liked and respected for years - with each of them believing he had abandoned his pregnant wife. His husband's blue eyes betrayed his anxiety, even though he tried to cover it. Snape had wished he could accompany him to give him strength. Another aspect of their relationship denied to him.

Instead, he brewed Wolfsbane for Lupin, a brew intricate enough to stop his own mind conjuring visions of Tonks tricking Lupin back to her avaricious arms. And yet, even as his mind was occupied, his stomach churned with every passing hour Lupin was away, and as soon as the potion was set to brew, tortured imaginings seeped through his concentration, breached by his own insecurity.

It was past one in the morning when the Floo flared and Lupin stepped through, looking pale but resolute. Relief flooded through Snape. He hadn't allowed himself to vocalise the fear but realised then he had thought there was a chance that Lupin might not come home.

But he was there, and he folded Snape into his arms, holding on to him tightly, his large hand splayed across the small of Snape's back to hold him closely to himself as he kissed him greedily then broke the kiss to lead him to the settee to talk.

"No," breathed Snape. "Don't stop."

Snape had thought he would want every detail of the meeting, but he didn't. Not yet, at least. He wanted the reassurance of his husband's body and clearly Lupin wanted the same as they began to kiss again even as their hands speedily undressed each other, finally lowering themselves naked onto the hearth rug, lips and hands pressing to the bodies in passion.

Lupin lifted his body onto his hands to gaze at Snape underneath him, his eyes dark and intense, as his fingers prepared him. Snape found he needed very little and pulled Lupin towards him, wanting that ultimate closeness was soon as he could as he wrapped his legs around Lupin, his husband's face eager and hungry for him.

"My Severus," breathed Lupin as he pushed into Snape whose neck arched as he was filled. Snape let out a long deep moan in pleasure at the feel of Lupin's erection inside him and in anticipation of the pleasure to come. They kissed, deep and penetrating, as they slowly made exquisite love, each trying hard to ensure that every part of the other was touched, cherished and adored and they moved together slowly, deeply and achingly. Lupin Kissed his Claiming bites – Kissed them to intensify their feelings, building Snape's sensations to such a pitch that nerves seemed to flame with every touch as Lupin rocked his hips, each thrust deeper and firmer than the last, until their orgasms burst from them, emotional and powerful, leaving both men without breath or speech as they stroked each other's face.

It took some time before they disengaged from each other, although still holding each other lightly in the other's arms until both were ready to discuss the Order meeting.

oooOOOooo

Legilimens!

Lupin had ensured he was first in the private room at The Hog's Head. Snape felt Lupin's stomach churning just as Snape's had at this same time as he had brewed. He felt Lupin's apprehension of seeing Tonks and her parents without Snape, of seeing all the Order members and what they must now be thinking of him. He paced for a while and decided upon sitting so he would look relaxed and unintimidating.

At this point, Tonks and her parents arrived. Lupin's stomach lurched sickeningly but he greeted them with an inoffensive small smile.

"Homenum revelio!" incanted Tonks, her wand held high, searching the room. "Is he hiding in the shadows, watching us?" she hissed, her hair a spiky scarlet.

"He is always with me, Dora," replied Lupin quietly as two fingers touched his heart. The Auror looked stricken and placed one hand on her own barely swelling belly but Lupin looked away. Snape felt an anger in his husband, a smouldering resentment as she drew attention to … to what? Then Snape felt it so strongly … to that which she had stolen from him. It cut Lupin that she carried his child – she had had no right to have taken that from him. It cut him deeply. He couldn't shield that pain from Snape.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I know I have no right to feel sorry for myself."

"Yes, you do – for yourself, and for us. You're right. She stole a dream from us."

Somehow, it made Snape feel so much closer to Lupin that he shared this revulsion for her act of treachery, but also his hopelessness that it could not be undone. Tonks was pregnant with Lupin's child and both the man and the wolf could never hurt the mother or child. Snape's attention returned to the scene unfolding in front of him.

At that moment, Kingsley arrived with Bill and Fleur Weasley. The greetings were cordial enough but Lupin, and through him, Snape, saw the sympathetic looks Fleur cast towards Tonks, who stood with her parents. Fleur squeezed her husband's hand and then broke away to speak in hushed tones to Tonks, as Andromeda sent him looks of undisguised loathing. Lupin looked away then Bill sat next to him.

"Remus."

"Hello Bill."

"How are you?"

"Not too bad. Are you and Fleur well?"

Bill smiled, his once-handsome smile rendered crude by Greyback's disfigurement of it.

"Yes. We're well." Bill helped himself to a Butterbeer. "Remus? How are you and Tonks?"

Lupin inhaled, keeping his voice measured and his expression bland.

"We're no longer together, Bill."

Bill took a sharp intake of breath.

"Mum told me. I thought … I thought it couldn't be right. Remus, you know she's expecting your baby, don't you?" he whispered urgently.

"Yes, Bill. I do. Please don't ask any more."

"Is this about Snape? You know what he is. He tried to kill you!" Bill's tone was not accusing, but he spoke to Lupin as if he were somehow misguided or – perhaps – bewitched.

"Bill. Don't," whispered Lupin, a warning edge to his voice.

"Your child, Remus. How can you leave your …

"Stop it, Bill. You have no idea what happened. Now please! Let's just get on with this meeting."

Bill held up a hand in submission, his expression concerned, clearly not wanting to upset his friend, but convinced his friend was wrong. Snape felt the pain in Lupin's heart and knew this exchange with Bill could be the best that he could expect tonight.

Minerva then arrived, talking animatedly with Arthur and Molly and eventually the rest of the members arrived and Lupin called the meeting to order.

As they had discussed, Lupin told the meeting that his informants had told him that the hearings for the Muggle-born Registration Commission were a sham – an excuse to divest them of their wands and then imprison them in Azkaban. The meeting was in uproar.

"They keep sending notices to Dad," said Tonks, as Ted nodded and Andromeda blanched at this side.

"Well, he mustn't go! That's all there is to it," insisted Minerva.

"I think it won't be long before it becomes compulsory," said Ted.

"I've been thinking," said Lupin. "We need to find a way to identify the Muggle-borns and get as many to safety as we can."

"I can help you there," said Minerva. Snape wanted to punch the air – right on cue! Minerva went on to detail how the Magical Quill would have the names and addresses of all Muggle-born witches and wizards at birth and at the date of their invitation to Hogwarts. Muggle-borns were highlighted so that she, as deputy headmistress, could visit each family to introduce the concept of the magical world. Thereafter, they should be able to trace Muggle-borns through Ministry records.

"I can help with that," offered Arthur.

"What about you, Nymphadora?" asked Minerva. "Would you be able to access these records as an Auror?"

"I'll certainly try but I'm being watched because of …" her eyes flicked to Lupin and then to her father, "well – you know."

"Best leave that with me then," said Arthur, with a paternal smile. "Best not draw attention to yourself in your condition."

It was obvious Molly didn't like Arthur offering his services so freely, but she gave Tonks a sympathetic smile which froze when her eyes met Lupin's. Snape felt Lupin's hurt that the woman who had also been so caring of him over the past few years had grown so cold to him. But he also felt Lupin's hopelessness that he would ever be able to explain why he had left his new wife without telling anyone about Snape himself. He would endure the opprobrium to keep Snape safe. In his own way, Lupin was as consummate a dissembler as Snape was himself.

"Excellent," said Kingsley. "I'm sorry I cannot help there." Kingsley shrugged, but all the Order members knew he was now on the run from the Ministry himself. He turned to Lupin. "What are your thoughts?"

"Safe houses," said Lupin, feeling relieved to be starting to plan. "We use our contacts to set up routes to places of safety, out of the country, if necessary. Ports. Airports. I think we should keep them away from wizarding travel like Portkeys, and, as Muggle-borns, they'll be used to Muggle modes of transport."

There were murmurs of approval.

"What about those contacts in America we used before?" asked Tonks. "Weren't they Dumbledore's contacts?"

Lupin's stomach lurched again, but luckily it was Bill who spoke.

"No. They were Snape's Apothecarial contacts."

Lupin saw Tonks's look of engaged enquiry become hard and shrewd. Didn't that show her how Snape had helped in ways she had not realised?

"Well, they're out of the question then," said Minerva with finality. "Anything to do with Severus can no longer be trusted." There was an emotional tremor in Minerva's voice but then she coughed and recovered her equilibrium. "We all have contacts. We must begin a campaign to get in touch with our friends and acquaintances to begin this work. Remus, will you co-ordinate this?"

Lupin nodded. "Of course. I'm also going to visit the Light werewolf packs for assistance," chimed in Lupin, noting how Andromeda's head shot up but he did not look at her.

"Werewolves? Why should we trust werewolves?" she asked stridently. The atmosphere in the room became frigid and the Weasley twins and Bill shuffled uncomfortably in their seats as Kingsley opened his mouth to remonstrate, but Lupin spoke first with a quiet but cutting barb.

"You don't have to trust werewolves, Andromeda. Pure-bloods will be quite safe, after all."

"Now see here …" began Ted as many at the table exchanged worried glances at the distrust evident in their ranks and Minerva rapped the table loudly.

"We need all the assistance that anyone can provide. Thank you, Remus. And we must all remember that if we are divided, You-Know-Who will conquer us all the more quickly." She turned her stern gaze on each of Lupin, Tonks and Andromeda separately. "We work together – just as Albus would want us to."

With that, each of the Order members began to brain-storm through their contacts and places of safety and gradually a plan began to take shape.

When the meeting drew to a close, Tonks gave Lupin one look of longing, but then she and her parents were the first to leave, for which Lupin was grateful as he made his way to Minerva, hanging back as the Order members said their goodbyes, not all of them including him. Lupin mastered himself – he was used to rejection after all. Snape could not deny how much Lupin feeling this rejection of those who had been his friends hurt him – it hurt him because it mirrored his own pain that barely anyone cared for him any more, not even as a colleague. Just this one man loved him.

Minerva smiled at Lupin. There was a sadness to the smile as if she was disappointed in him, but no real rancour.

"How are things at the school," asked Lupin, "with Severus as headmaster?"

Minerva jaw tightened and she launched into a tirade about Snape's deception of Dumbledore and all of the staff. She confided in Lupin her terror for the pupils once the Carrows were put in charge of discipline and how she had no confidence that Snape would rein in their worst excesses.

"He is You-Know-Who's man through and through! How could Albus have been so wrong, Remus?" She huffed and pushed back at her severe hairstyle. "At least he keeps out of our way. We're so beneath him, he doesn't even dine with us. Not once! Well, it's all to the good, I suppose. At least this way, we as Heads of House will be able to speak freely – I suppose until terms starts. Or the Carrows turn up. Heaven knows what he does all by himself in the Headmaster's office! More plans to make the school like a prison, I suppose."

"What do you mean?" asked Lupin, hoping he was leading her to the information she needed to impart to him.

"Well," she looked at him shrewdly. "I expect you probably know that there were always some secret passages out of Hogwarts."

"Well, I certainly knew about the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack," he replied lightly. Minerva rolled her eyes. Lupin laughed softly. "Yes, we knew of other passages. I'm surprised you do though. I would have thought you would have closed them."

"Only the Headmaster has that authority. Godric knows why Albus never closed them. I always assumed he didn't want to interfere with the fabric of the school. But this Headmaster has exercised the authority. Oh yes!" She crossed her arms for emphasis. "He's sealed them all. Permanently! And I can't help feeling that it's to imprison the children."

Lupin frowned and then asked Minerva if she knew which passages and she recited them by rote. Lupin's face broke into a mischievous smile.

"Not all," said Lupin. "I know of one other."

"Dare I ask how you might know?" asked Minerva, with a half smile.

"Probably best not to tarnish your fond memories of me as a good student," quipped Lupin. "But there is another which goes to Hogsmeade and perhaps it could be made useful. Will you leave that with me to give it some thought?"

Minerva nodded. "Very well." She gently placed her hand on Lupin's forearm. "I hope everything else sorts itself out, Remus."

Then it was Lupin's turn to nod, but Minerva did not press the matter further, giving him an understanding smile as she too left the pub for the return walk to Hogwarts.

Lupin watched her go and then turned to speak to Aberforth.

"Has he agreed?" asked Snape urgently, breaking the connection.

"Took some doing. He was quite reluctant to get involved at all when I first started talking to him. But he eventually agreed. Said he'd consider which room would be the safest to open the passageway into and let me know."

"Good," Snape nodded. "I'm sure there is time to convince him.

oooOOOooo

Snape came awake and through the window Lupin had made he saw it was dawn. Lupin wasn't in bed with him.

Silently, Snape left the bed and went to the bedroom door. Lupin sat at the table, nursing a mug of tea, his head resting on one hand, his expression one of such sadness that it hurt Snape just to see it.

He made his way over to Lupin who looked up as he approached and gave him a crooked smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Knut for your thoughts," said Severus as Lupin pulled Snape onto his lap and stroked his nose across Snape's skin.

"Sometimes, the unfairness of what was taken just upsets me and I don't seem to be able to shake it off." Lupin looked at Snape apologetically, and Snape understood immediately. He had already felt that thought earlier.

"That she carries your child?"

Lupin nodded.

"And I wish, Severus … I wish with all my heart you hadn't seen that memory. I wish I could take that away from your thoughts of me."

Snape heaved a sigh.

"I won't pretend I don't regret that the child was conceived, or seeing its conception. But I don't begrudge the child life either. I'm not that man any more." Snape kissed the top of Lupin's head. "But I don't deny my part in it either." He stroked Lupin's hair. "I thought she would care for you." He snorted at his own foolishness. "I never thought she would take advantage of you that way."

"How can people be so different from what you think you know? I thought Dora was our friend … my friend after Dumbledore Obliviated her. And Andromeda? Sirius adored her. If he knew how she behaves …" Lupin stopped and looked sheepishly at Snape. "Sorry. I'm sure you don't want to hear about any of this."

Snape carded Lupin's hair.

"I want to hear all of it. Even Black. And for the record, I agree. I think he would have been shocked by all of it. Hufflepuffs behaving like Slytherins. Slytherins behaving like Gryffindors!"

Lupin lifted his head away from Snape's neck, his eyebrows raised in enquiry.

Snape smiled. His distraction had worked. He told Lupin how Narcissa had been 'given' to Snape as a reward for killing Dumbledore, quickly moving on to Draco's storming of Narcissa's bedroom to defend her honour.

"How chivalrous. We might make a Gryffindor of Draco yet," said Lupin.

Snape warmed to the gentle smile on Lupin's face and traced his lips.

"Barging in without thinking it through? Foolish and unthinking? I suppose you're right," Snape teased. "Of course, Lucius now hates me even more and he can never know the truth that Draco and Narcissa slept that night and the ones that followed as I watched over them. And that is all that happened."

"Narcissa could show him the memory," suggested Lupin.

"Lucius wouldn't trust it." Snape shook his head. "So many years of infidelity has to take its toll. He will go to his grave always wondering if the dirty little half-blood he degraded so often defiled his wife. In so many ways, Remus, that gives me more pleasure than a real violation ever could. Do you hate me for that? For still wanting revenge after all these years?"

"No, Severus. I admire you all the more for not taking your revenge out on Lucius's wife. For saving the woman and her boy." He pressed a kiss to Snape's throat.

"Why should I wish to rape anyone? Especially the woman who saved my life?"

"Lesser men might have done it to be revenged on their attacker. It's not as if you hadn't already paid your debt. You gave her your Unbreakable Vow."

"Yes, a life for a life. Albus and I had already agreed the detail. The Vow was merely ancillary to that. It quelled Bellatrix's suspicions and kept Narcissa on side. It was actually quite fortuitous."

"But if you hadn't made the plan with Albus and she'd asked for the Vow – what then?"

"I'd have been in trouble, I think," replied Snape with a small smile of his own as he stood and held out his hand to lead Lupin back to bed.

oooOOOooo

Snape stood in the entrance hall, his hands behind his back, his most severe expression on his countenance. Alecto Carrow, sneering, stood to his right and Amycus Carrow to his left. The rest of the faculty returned to school on this day and Snape greeted each in turn, assuring them that his tenure as headmaster would be straightforward provided that they understood the chain of command and observed the new rules.

Each teacher acknowledged the speech, clearly already aware of the new regime as none raised any issue with him. Snape had no doubt that each Head of House had already been in touch with the other teachers and had begun to undermine him subtly.

As the last of the teachers made their ways to their own quarters, the Carrows smirked at Snape conspiratorially, little knowing that the smirk Snape returned was at them, not with them.

.

A/N: Thanks for reviewing. It's always appreciated.
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You Will Not Kiss Me