Torment *Completed* | By : Kvarta Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 31858 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 8 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it. |
A/N: Still not beta edited and running only on Grammarly so...
When Severus was just a kid, he saw a cartoon- mother took him once to a huge store, on the telly in the electronics department was a telly. It fascinated him; he thought it to be real magic. The cartoon was about ugly black duckling. The duckling kept repeating injustice that's what it is*.
He felt now the same as a duckling, words like unfair and injustice came to mind.
For a few staggering moments, Severus felt lost.
That was before anger that bubbled in his stomach reached his chest. He pushed the books and parchments off the table before standing up, angry pace’s measuring the limitations of the room, wall to wall, before he returned to the table.
Why was he the one who had to be responsible? Why no one could see?
With the angry flick of his wrist, he returned mess from the floor on the table. Arranging it again into a more functional order, gave him something to do with his hands.
He could just give in but he didn’t want to put her through what he’s been experiencing for most of his life. He respected her too much for that. Even before… Before he became aware before he realised what his soul and his body already knew and apparently accepted.
Severus felt the need to destroy. Not wanting to repeat the process of arranging his study papers again he grabbed the backrest of the chair. The pain bit into his palms from the intensity of his grip. He had no more strength to be the strong one, to be the reasonable one. The need to…
With a loud pop Misty materialised in front of him and he gave her an angry glare.
“Maybe Master want another chair?” Misty squeaked.
“What?” He blinked, confused.
“That chair is magical, Misty can’t fix it if Master breaks it. Misty can bring the chair Misty can fix.” Elf explained calmly. “If Master breaks the chair Mistress Narcissa not be happy.”
He blinked again, releasing his grip. Misty’s words drained his anger, it was pointless and not productive. He didn’t need to be angry; he needed a plan and for that a clear head.
The elf stood looking at him.
“I won’t break the chair, Misty.” He finally sighed.
“Misty see.” Elf nodded. “That awful boy is with Master Draco. Should Misty chase away Harry Potter?”
He blinked again, he never heard Misty mentioning Potter before, and certainly in that tone.
“You know Potter?” he asked.
“Every elf knows Potter. Not all like Potter, he frees elves.” Misty shuddered.
“I think you had him confused with Hermione, she is the one with an agenda to free elves.” Despite still present tightness in his chest, he chuckled.
“No.” Misty shook her head. “Missy-big-mouth tries to free elves, she doesn’t know how. She thinks Master Malfoy owns Misty. She can’t harm Misty. Potter is sneaky, he tricked Master Malfoy to free Dobby.”
Severus did his best to keep his mouth shut, or they might just hang open. He’d forgotten all about that. At the time Lucius was beside himself from anger. In fact, what Potter opened Hermione’s eyes to the situation of House elves, and what solution might be.
“Missy thinks Misty is from here. Misty stays here because Master comes here. Misty go where Master go.” Misty continued, her small face scrunching.
“Don’t worry Misty, I won’t let her trick me. You will stay with me for as long as you wish. But should you wish to leave…” he started.
Misty released the wail and stepped back, pulling on her ears. “Does Master not want Misty any more? Misty is be good, Master…”
“Misty!” He called her, she quieted still shaking her head. “You will stay with me for as long as you wish.”
She nodded. “Thank you, Master. Should Misty send Potter away? Potter is making Master Draco miserable.”
“He’ll live. Thank you, Misty, that will be all.” He nodded.
Misty poofed out of his sight in a hurry, as if she was afraid that he might change his mind and free her.
Severus returned to sit on the chair. He felt like someone pulled the rug from beneath him. No, as if someone pulled the ground from beneath him.
Why can’t they see?
It wasn’t what he might do to her, but what his reputation would do. And it would, no doubt about it. It fell on him, on his shoulders again to twist that rusty dagger logged in his heart.
Mrs Rutledge’s persistence made him realise that his love for Lily was never a- love to begin with. Not that he didn’t realise on his own, but at least then he could ignore it. It was just a teenage infatuation. He could see now that Lily wasn’t as good as he thought, nor she was as bad as he sometimes wished her to be. She has shown the kindness to a boy starving for it, and he wanted to keep that for himself. The one thing he thought could be his and only his. He twisted his need to be loved and treated like any other human being, twisted and squeezed until he destroyed completely what was gifted to him.
Until he turned it to the driving force, upfront for some other deeper reasons he might have.
Twisted it again later into guilt, another driving force.
It wasn’t love; it was his own selfishness.
Just like his past impotence was self-punishment.
He paid his dues- tenfold; it was time to stop being selfish.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Draco watched as Hermione paced angrily, her hair jumped with each step, ruffled. She was ruffled. He transfigured the chair to a wingback and now he waited, legs crossed, pretending to observe his cuticles. Behind him Madam Hooch occupied the only real stuffed chair, she snored lightly.
So much for a chaperone, some things never change.
Draco took good care not to smile. Hermione’ ire just shifted from him and Potter to other topics, he’d make sure to stay that way.
“That’s… That’s…” she growled.
“It is because you’re doing it all wrong,” Draco said calmly.
“But none of my…” Hermione choked out.
“Not none, they took two of your suggestions into consideration. They are planning to make a going to pension party for Bins…” he started.
“Pension?!” Hermione shrieked and Hooch twitched snoring louder, she glanced at Madam Hooch and hissed in a lower tone. “He doesn’t need going away party, he needs to be- banished or exorcised- or whatever.”
“Exco... What? Never mind, must be some Muggle idiocy.” Draco frowned. “Look, Granger, if they don’t send him away properly he’ll just continue going to classes, bothering both students and the new teacher. Besides, they have a good reason to replace him.”
“Yes, I gave a bloody good reason why we need better history teacher...” Hermione growled.
“It is nice to see that you have so high opinion of yourself, but no. Bins refused to teach the most recent history, as I understood mother he’s refusing to teach events he wasn’t a part of, at least not before the books are issued.” Draco suppressed the chuckle.
“He wasn’t the part of? He was here, in school the whole bloody time. The history classroom collapsed through him.” Hermione hissed.
“He is a ghost, the happenings of mortals are not his concern.” Draco sighed. “At any rate, they also debated the second proposition you made, the obligatory Wizarding/Muggle classes. Not that you could take full credit to it, the mother is nagging McGonagall about it for the past four or five months.”
“But the rest…” she slumped her shoulders.
“You are doing it all wrong. They are comfortable doing the things their way, as they’ve been doing them for decades. If you want to change something, you don’t go into their faces and knocking off the legs of the chairs they lazily rocking on. You go behind their back to those in power.” Draco couldn’t resist, he rolled his eyes.
So naïve. Gryffindors…
“I did, I went to Headmistress.” She glared at him.
“And do you think she wants to be the reason behind the bad news to the entire staff?” Draco clucked his tongue. “Besides, you wanted to break the prejudice about House rivalry? What better way than to go to the ball with your mortal enemy?”
She blinked at him.
“Me, Bucktooth. Slytherin and a Malfoy.” Draco sighed. Clueless.
She glared at him for the longest of time before she huffed. “Fine, I’ll go with you. Get out of the room, I want to dress.”
Hermione said loud enough to wake up Hooch, who twitched to awakeness with one loud snort. Madam Hooch ushered him out of Hermione’s room and down to the Common room to wait for Hermione.
~ S ~ S ~ S ~
Hermione descended the winding stairs, not all too pleased with time she had wasted on preparations for the pointless school party. She took more than an hour to make herself presentable.
Stupid. Pointless.
She was overdressed, unsurprisingly since she had only one formal robe and they were made for Malfoy Ball. Narcissa prevailed, making her get rid of all other formal robes she had. Winding towards the Common Room, her hand reached to her neck.
Hermione’s heart jumped and started to beat fast.
In the Common Room Draco was sitting on the sofa, surrounded by Slytherins and Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs sat close but not too close. Gryffindors, on the other hand, sat as far away as possible, glaring daggers at the group.
My house is the most prejudicial one. Shame.
Her hand, still at her neck was shaking.
Damn him. Git.
Her fingers ran down the lines of the intricate jewellery. Severus sent them along with the dress.
But why?
It was the same set she had at the Malfoy Ball. Maybe because they were still here? He couldn’t have returned them to the safe, she had the key, the one once belonged to Lucius Malfoy. Maybe because he thought it would go nicely with the dress? They did. But…
Damn him.
Her heart climbed to her throat. Sending these had a meaning, to those who cared for meanings. Snape didn’t, that much was obvious. If he cared he wouldn’t include them.
Maybe he thinks she corrupted them?
The entire wizarding world knew she wore them, splayed all over the Prophet after the Ball, causing speculations even then. Maybe he knew that no other Pureblooded witch would touch them.
Will I have to buy them out? How much this could cost, anyway? I have to ask Narcissa or Draco, maybe they know?
Her heart was beating somewhere beneath her tongue. He couldn’t mean for these to mean what they would if Severus was one to pay attention to etiquette.
She stepped into the room. Draco stood up, his robes shimmered, smooth black with thin emerald green stripes. The stripes shone as he moved.
I wonder how Severus would look in something like this?
“Not as good as I.” Malfoy smirked at her, he was now only a step away. He leaned towards her. “You were mumbling, and he has a similar set, mother had them made for him. His have silver and deep forest green stripes. He claims that they are too formal for anywhere someone might invite him.”
She blinked. “Time to get over with this charade, Ferrentface.”
“Don’t keep your hopes up, Bucktooth, I’m spoken for.” Draco wiggled the eyebrows with the grin.
He offered his arm, and she took it. Gryffindors glared at her, mouthing traitor. Draco chuckled quietly.
“Welcome to the club.”
He lead her out of the Common Room and down the hallway to the Grand Hall.
“What club?” Hermione frowned.
“Mostly Slytherin, but the club of the rejected ones as well.” Draco was now snickering.
She stopped, pulling him to stop. “I am not a Slytherin, never was and never will be. I hold no ill will towards the House, but…”
“Well, you certainly are pretending to be one.” Draco widened his grin. “You try to implement the things Slytherins try for ages. You are friend with Slytherins, they defend you. Not to mention, you spent almost a year and a half practically glued to Slytherin House Head. And, you lived for a year at the Manor.”
“That makes me human and intelligent, not Slytherin.” she huffed.
“Tell that to them.” Draco winked and pulled her to continue walking. “Come Bucktooth, endure through this and I’ll take you to the Manor after the party is over.”
She stopped again. “What?”
“Headmistress gave me a permission slip, I can take you home, well, my home, tonight.”
Hermione just nodded, her palm slicking and her heart beating fast.
“Draco, do you think I'll have to buy out these jewels?” she asked quietly, not looking at him. It was humiliation enough she had to ask something like that.
“Not to my knowledge. Why?” Draco sounded serious, but Hermione refused to chance a glance.
“Well, in the book your mother gave me… He couldn’t have meant… So, I thought, maybe he thinks…” she stuttered, not able to finish her thoughts.
“And maybe he changed his mind?” Draco stopped.
Hermione raised her head looking at him, not allowing herself to hope that his words might be true.
“Do you- know something?” She whispered.
“No. I know Severus, and he is a stickler for protocols. If he wants you to buy them out, he’d send a bill not jewels.” Draco tilted his head. “Talk to him, Granger. Why asking me?”
“Because…” she started. Because you are with him while I’m stuck here. Because he doesn’t want me. Because it hurts too much.
“He’s changed, Granger. Having that Muggle healer changed him. Being angry at my father changed him. Maybe he changed his mind about you too.”
She nodded. “Readdy?”
They were at the entrance to Great Hall, surrounded by glares and stares. Neville smiled at her approvingly, McGonagall smiled to her tightly, Flitwick dropped his cup.
Irrelevant.
They all were irrelevant. After this she’ll go to the Manor, to see- him, and that was all that mattered.
*Calimero - Calimero (カリメロ Karimero) is an Italian-Japanese animation about a charming, but hapless anthropomorphized chicken; the only black one in a family of yellow chickens. He wears half of his egg shell still on his head. Calimero originally appeared on the Italian television show Carosello on July 14, 1963, and soon became a popular icon in Italy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calimero
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