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Secretly Slytherin	By : Veresna Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 12269 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
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- 13
Chapter 12: Disappointments
The temperature was brisk, but the afternoon sun was shining brightly as Helena slowly made her way from the school out towards the Quidditch field. She hadn’t been looking forward to this meeting anyway, but the events of this morning and afternoon had left her thoroughly depressed.
She had passed by Professor Flitwick’s office after lunch, and had heard him call out her name. Suppressing a happy, anticipatory grin, she had quickly rushed into the room.
"Yes, Professor?"
"I hope you were able to find out the answer to your question?" he asked.
She had been so unprepared for the query that she found herself gazing at him rather blankly for a moment, before quickly recovering.
*** Oh, right, I was supposedly looking for information on the Accio charm when I went to his room last night. ***
"Oh, yes, I did. I was sure that the origin of the "Accio" only dated back to the 1400’s, though other people thought it was much older." She spoke confidently, since she had in fact once deliberated this very issue with her fellow classmates. Four years ago, to be exact. Not that Flitwick needed to know that.
"Yes, very true, Miss Harrison, very true," he nodded happily. "Amazing how sometimes the simplest spells took so long to discover."
She smiled back and waited. "Umm, anything else, Professor?"
"No, no, go on to your next class," he urged, cheerily.
Her smile faded as she retraced her steps. Not a word about the staff meeting. She was starting to wonder if everything had gone horribly wrong. Perhaps McGonagall had raised a strong objection to the whole idea. Her voice would certainly sway as many people as Flitwick’s if she was adamant enough. The only information that Severus had given her was that they had discussed her strengths and weaknesses, with Hagrid mentioning the fact that she was fond of owls. She shook her head in disgust.
***Ooh, that will impress the board at the university. ***
And, of course, he had also mentioned that he had said he regretted giving her a detention.
She stopped short in the hallway. Damn, he had said that, hadn’t he? Which meant that they had probably discussed the fact that he had actually given her not one, but two detentions last week.
*** Bet you didn’t mention that at the second one you gave me a thorough screwing on the top of your desk, did you? Wonder if that would be considered a mark for or against me? Hmm, maybe all the teachers, male and female, should give it a try and we’ll take the vote from there. ***
She frowned. She had assumed that if the plan had been voted down, that he would have been quite happy to burst her bubble by giving her the news. But, she supposed it was infinitely more diabolical to let her hopes continue to rise for a few more days before they were dashed down.
*** Rule Number Two: When you’re lover is a Slytherin, he is always just a little sneakier that you think he can possibly be. ***
Professor Vector had likewise greeted her quite cheerily when she visited her in the Arithmancy study room that afternoon. She had asked her a few quick questions on how well her project was going, seemed quite pleased at the progress Helena was making, and had disappeared back out of the doorway in a matter of minutes. Not a word from her either way to indicate what had happened at the meeting.
She had begun to make some desultory notes in her notebook, but ended up staring blankly at the parchment after a few minutes. Her eyes felt scratchy and blurry from the lack of sleep. She had propped her elbow against the table and lain her head wearily in her hand, intending only to close her eyes for a minute or two to refresh them. The next thing she knew, the class dismissal bell was ringing in her ear, and she was picking her head up from where it had fallen forward on the desk. And, she had wearily risen up and headed outdoors towards the field.
Lewis was sitting with Ang, Des and Kathleen and a bunch of other six and seven year Ravenclaw students, waiting for their team to begin their weekly Quidditch Team practice. He waved happily over to her as he spotted her walking across the field, and her heart began to drop as she thought again about what she must say to him.
She liked him. She really, really liked him. And he was very good looking, especially with that beard. And he had always seemed nice and kind to her. Especially this year. He had been the only one to be genuinely concerned about her last week when she had been suffering the effects brought on by her ingestion of Lover’s Weed laced Veritaserum.
She tried to convince herself that she was only being noble, making sure that Severus would have no reason to seek out revenge upon him. But, was that being completely honest?
*** No. There’s a part of you that would like to have a nice, safe, happy boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with Lewis. Maybe even work up to some very nice and tender lovemaking with him. But there’s a part of you that can’t stop thinking about Severus and the way he makes you feel-with his eyes, with his hands, with his lips, with his tongue, with his cock. You’d really like to have them both. And that’s something you might be able to trick Lewis about, but you definitely are not going to pull the wool over Severus’ eyes. He said quite clearly that you had to choose. And, if you have to choose only one, it won’t be Lewis. At least not now. ***
She laughed bitterly. She might have been able to hide her true self from Snape for over six years, but he was finding it very easy to see through her now. Perhaps he even understood her better than she understood herself. His accusations last night had not been without foundation. There was a part of her that would have considered continuing the affair with Severus at the same time she took advantage of Lewis’ tender feelings too. Maybe even used them as a goad to spur the older man into telling her just how important she was to him.
Which was a cruel, bitchy thing to do. But, she swore to herself, she was not cruel or bitchy enough to make Lewis suffer emotionally anymore. And she certainly didn’t want to put him into physical danger by incurring Snape’s wrath. It was better to end this now and hope that his wounds healed quickly and cleanly.
She glanced at the Quidditch team zooming around the field on their brooms. She had always attended the Ravenclaw Quidditch games. Not because she was fond of the game, but because they were fun social events and gave everyone a reason to root for their own house. She personally had always found the game itself to be thuggishly brutal, requiring more muscles than brains. Of course, her father, Herbert Harrison, had epitomized this stereotype of a player, so perhaps she was unduly prejudiced.
Lewis moved over, motioning for her to sit down next to him on the bench as she approached. She glanced over at Des and Ang, and saw that they were sharing a deep kiss and a passionate embrace, oblivious to the presence of the students around them.
***Hmm, bet that Lewis might be spending more nights on the couch pretty soon. And that mine won’t be the only empty bed in our room. Wonder if Severus would like to brew up a gallon-sized bottle of Contraceptive Potion to share with her? ***
Kathleen was frowning, holding a hand up to her eyes as she tried to follow the lightning-quick movements of the players. The rest of the crowd was more interested in talking and joking with each other, except for an occasional ‘ooh’ or ‘ah’ when one of the players demonstrated a particularly good move.
"Aren’t you going to sit?" Lewis was looking up at her, slightly puzzled.
She shook her head and gestured at him with her finger to come with her. "Let’s go for a walk," she suggested.
"Oh, I’ll come too," squealed Kathleen, eagerly arising from her seat.
Lewis and Helena exchanged a brief, knowing glance.
"But we’re going to talk about Potions," Helena explained. "We have a big project to prepare for next week and we have discuss the ingredients and-"
"Oh, okay." Kathleen sat back down. She had been very glad that she was not required to take Advanced Potions during her last year at Hogwarts. Her level of expertise had barely risen above that of the unfortunate Neville Longbottom, and Helena had chosen that particular lie in the assurance that the subject was the last thing Kathleen would want to hear about.
She saw a glimmer of amusement in Lewis’ eyes. "Yeah, it’s really boring stuff. See you later."
They started to make their way down the bleacher steps and unto the ground level.
"Where do you want to talk?" he asked.
She hunched her shoulders and considered for a moment. Their younger classmates would be in the Common Room. Madam Pince would be breathing down their necks if they tried to have a serious talk in the Library. The Great Hall might not be very crowded yet, but she didn’t want to take the chance of their conversation being overheard in that large, echoing chamber. And she certainly didn’t want to get his hopes up by asking him to come to her room.
"Let’s go sit on a bench by the lake?" he finally suggested.
She hesitated, but couldn’t think of a suitable alternative. "Sure," she smiled.
They were silent during their walk over to the Lake. The surface of the large body of water was deceptively placid, despite the brisk wind that was blowing. The numerous trees planted around it, and perhaps some magical enchantments helping to protect it from the breeze.
They settled down in the bench, Lewis sitting on the right hand side and she on the left. They gazed out at the lake for a moment and she bit her lips, uncertain how she should begin. After a few minutes had gone by, she felt him turn to look at her.
"Are you in trouble?" The tone of his voice was very worried.
She looked at him and sighed, and let a small moan slip out. "You are so nice, Lewis. I really don’t deserve to have a friend so nice as you."
His eyes were searching her face, his expression concerned and puzzled.
She looked down for a moment at her hands, which were gripped tightly in her lap. Then she looked back up at him and shook her head.
"No, I’m not really in trouble, but I do have to tell you something."
He nodded, and waited for her to continue.
"Lewis, you know that I really like you."
***Oh, how cliché. ***
"I hope you do," he said, just the slightest hint of a blush appearing on his face.
"And, maybe I am misreading you completely, but I’ve really started to get the feeling that you-"
She paused, uncertain what to say.
He waited patiently.
She took in a deep breath. "I guess I’ve gotten the feeling that you want to be more than a friend to me."
He nodded and dropped his eyes for a moment. And then he turned to gaze out at the lake. "We’ve always gotten along really well together. And, ever since our third year, I’ve always thought that you were one of the prettiest, nicest, smartest girls in the school."
She smiled and went to reach for his hand. But, at the last moment she caught herself and instead left her hand lying on the bench, near but not quite touching his own.
He shrugged and looked back at her. "I guess I thought that since we’re always hanging around together that we’d finally end up really ‘together’."
She looked out at the lake, unable to think of a reply.
Finally, she sighed and began to speak again. "I know I’ve been acting kind of strange lately…." Again she trailed off, not sure of what she wanted to say.
"You know, why don’t I make this easier for you," he said. He sighed and ran his left hand through his hair.
He looked back at her. "You’re already seeing somebody else, aren’t you?"
She nodded and fought the desire to sigh in relief. "Yes. Oh, Lewis, I’m really sorry."
He held up his hand to cut her off.
"No, you don’t need to apologize to me. It wasn’t like we were ever going together. I just don’t understand," he paused and shook his head while he crossed his arms. "Why all the secrecy?"
She shrugged and opened her mouth to speak.
"And what does Snape have to do with all this?"
She shut her mouth abruptly, feeling the color drain away from her face. "Snape?" she repeated stupidly.
"Well, you never acted this way until Snape blew up at you and gave you two detentions," he insisted.
She nodded and brushed back the hair from her face while she considered what she should say.
"And, you looked like death warmed over all last week. So, those detentions must have been really horrible."
She closed her eyes and leaned forward, putting her head into her hands. She felt Lewis’ hand squeeze her shoulder.
"Come on, Hel. Whatever is going on you can tell me."
*** No, I can’t. Time for some lies. But, better make them as close to the truth as possible. ***
She sighed and sat back up against the bench.
"The guy I’m seeing is from Slytherin." She looked over at Lewis to see what his reaction would be.
His mouth was screwed up in something akin to disgust. "You’re kidding."
"No. I am not kidding in the slightest."
*** And I’m also telling the truth. From here on in, I probably won’t be. ***
He looked more puzzled than ever. "I thought Slytherins only dated Slytherins."
Well, there was not a lot of inter-house relationships, but the she herself couldn’t remember ever hearing about a Slytherin openly dating a member of another house.
"Yes, so you can imagine that his classmates would not be supportive about it if it were to become public knowledge. So, we’ve been trying very hard to keep our relationship quiet."
"And Snape?"
"Snape found out about it last week when he looked at my sketchbook. I was stupid enough to draw some pictures of the guy I’m dating in it, and he immediately recognized him and knew that there was something going on. And he wasn’t happy about it."
Lewis snorted. "No kidding!"
"And, he used the excuse of the potions accident to pin some detentions on me. During which time he tried to persuade me that dating a Slytherin is not a good idea."
"He threatened you?"
"Oh, not exactly. But you know as well as I do that Snape can make anyone miserable in class if he puts his mind to it."
"I know, that bastard has really been on your case lately."
*** Oh, you’d be surprised at just exactly where he’s been on me lately. ***
"And, he can really ruin my chances of getting into the Mediwitch program if he ends up giving me a lousy grade."
Lewis nodded again. "I’ve noticed that you’ve been obsessed with getting good grades lately."
"So, anyway, the guy and I told him that we’ve broken up. So, I think that Snape’s going to let up on me a little."
*** In class at least. Outside of class, I’m really hoping he goes down on me. A lot. ***
"But you’re still seeing this guy, aren’t you?"
She nodded her head. "Yes. But, we have to be even more careful than before. Because Snape can’t find out about it."
He frowned. "Who are you dating?"
She bit her lip and shook her head again. "I don’t want to get you in trouble, too. It’s better that you don’t know who it is."
*** Boy, is it better that you don’t know who it is. ***
He sighed and stared out at the lake again. "I know you didn’t get in until four o’clock this morning. And I think that means….."
"It’s more than dating," she replied, quietly.
He shook his head. Slowly, he got up to his feet.
"Well, personally, I don’t think this is a good idea. But you know I won’t tell anybody about this."
"Thanks, Lewis."
He started to walk away, and then turned back and stood in front of her. "But, maybe you’d better be a little more careful from now on," he advised.
"I will."
"I don’t want to see you get hurt."
"I’m just sorry that I’ve hurt you," she replied. "You deserved better."
*** Well, well, well. We’re back to the truth at last. ***
"Still be my lab partner?"
She laughed. "If you’ll be mine."
He nodded, and then turned to walk back towards the school.
Helena waited a moment, staring out at, but not seeing, the last few rays of sunlight dip over the late, the whole surface becoming a yellow-orange color. She closed her eyes and forced back the unshed tears, refusing to let them fall. Then she walked slowly over to the edge of the lake.
She continued to stare out at the lake. "I’ll assume that you heard all of that," she murmured.
To her left, hidden in the tall grass that circled the lake, a black swan was sitting quietly, apparently warming itself in the last, fading rays of the sun.
"It will do for now. Though, you may have to work on another story if his suspicions continue."
She glanced back down. He had transfigured back to human form again. His cold black eyes were watching her carefully, his lips set in a slight frown.
She looked back out at the lake. "Well, I always have found it’s best to try to stay close to the truth. At least at the beginning. There’s always time later to embroider the details."
She heard a soft snort.
"Then I will leave it in your very capable, very duplicitous hands for the moment."
She waited a little while longer before speaking again. "And you won’t hurt him?"
"He is safe," he replied lazily.
Helena turned and walked back towards the school.
After she was out of earshot, he continued. "For now….."
A moment later, a black swan rose into the air and disappeared against the darkening sky.
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Secretly Slytherin