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Freud and his Friends	By : Alexa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4875 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
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Freud
and his Friends � 12 � Mind Tricks

(Most
of you may have read chapter 12 already. The good news are
that here are 2 more chapters in the works right now, hopefully they will be
ready for posting soon.)

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No
couple actually means to screw up so badly as to need professional help. Yet
many of them do manage to find the most inventive ways to exceed all possible
skeptical prognoses. While the numerous tactics they employ to achieve this feat
hold much interest, and can fuel both amusement and despair, there is one
question which rises above all these technical
investigations, and in it resides the core of the couple's future: Why are they
still together?

That
was the question posed to the present couple, mid way through their extended
therapy session. Oh, Frank had listened to their recounting of the
"incident" and asked some questions, and gathered an opinion, and
tried to introduce what clarity he felt they could accept into the creative jumble
the two men made of their relationship through its short two-year existence.
But after all that was said and done, questions asked, sometimes evasive and
sometimes startlingly sincere answers given, one question remained:

"So
why are you still together?"

Frank
was familiar with the facial expression both faces reflected � 'Are you
kidding? Are you saying it's all meaningless? You just don't ask those kinds of
questions like that!'

If
he discovered anything in his practice, it was that many questions were
implicitly tabooed by an unspoken social consensus. Usually, the uncomfortable,
uncompromising, blunt questions � most of them the very questions worth asking.

The
looks started to shift. First Harry, and much more slowly
Draco, begun to consider the question. Draco seemed to be considering it
only so far as to find a way out of answering it. The question was too
significant to face it. He was going to evade, that much was clear in his eyes
and body language. Harry was going to try and answer � the question, for him,
being close to the surface for a while now.

"Mmm� well there are a number of good reasons. All the good
things in the past, our plans together, love, commitment � I'm not going to
forsaken this relationship just because there are some problems. And they are
temporary, right? So that would be silly."

"The
problems are temporary, Harry. Their consequences won't be. The problems' roots
won't disappear. These are just the symptoms you're seeing. Tell me, what do
you suppose the disease is?"

The
brunette looked at the blond, ill at ease, speculative, apologetic.

"That
Draco isn't happy with me. I'm not sure I'm what Draco needs."

"And
why do you think that is? Could you tell it to Draco?"

"I
obviously don't give him," he turned, "you, what you need. And I
don't think I can � I'm not the man for the things you're asking for. Just look
at what happened! And I don't get it what is it that you want exactly. I
got the action you wanted, I think, but I don't get the why's of it. I'm not
even sure I want to be able to get them. And it's never enough � whatever I do,
I can never get it right. I absolutely don't understand you lately. And it
feels like I'm failing, because I can't provide what my lover, my partner,
needs�" He stared down at the floor now.

So many good questions there. 'I'm not eve sure I want to be able to get them.' � a fear worth opening up, the big question still unanswered:
'With all that, why are you still there? Not why you should be there. Not the
million reasons taught to you. What is holding you there? Why didn't you, for
example leave for his own good, if you're so
incompatible?' But such questions in front of Draco would do more damage than
good.

"Harry,
what do you mean by 'I'm not even sure I want to be able to get them'?"

Another glance at Draco, cautious.

"It's
just,�" silence, "I� Draco, I'm sorry, but
these things really� disturb me, ok? I don't think I want to understand why
someone would find rape attractive. I know some people do, and� I had enough of
that in the visions, and to think that you're like one of them� I'm not sure
how to deal with that."

Draco
made an irritated gesture with his hands. "It wasn't about the rape,
Harry. Shit, even I get that, and I'm not the therapist here! It's about limits
� I don't want to have any from you, but they need to be broken sometimes.
Don't you see?"

"Obviously
I don't see, Draco!"

"Well,
look closer then!"

"I'm
not fucking going there, Draco! Don't you see?"

"Oh,
I see � you're afraid it'll rub off on you� If you look closer, and allow
yourself to actually think it through, it might make sense, and then where will
you be?! The Savior, who gets why rape is attractive! We can't have that, can
we?! 'That's a no-no, Harry; here, be a good boy, pose for some pictures. Good
savior.'"

Harry's
lips curled in disgust.

Time
for some management, take away the sting, keep the sentiment, file the resentment Draco has for 'The Savior'.

"Refraining
from the name calling and tempers rising, Harry, are you afraid to take things
in because they might be convincing?"

"Evil
often is. Seductive and sweet tongued." Like Draco, isn't it?

Draco
gasped, turned, and seethed.

How
very young we are indeed. Still few shades of gray in your world, aren't there,
Harry?

"But,
to recognize what is simply un-normative, and what is 'evil' you do have to pay
some attention to it first, and then decide, wouldn't you agree?"

Silence. We're
getting somewhere, possibly.

"You
did bring up one very important point, Harry. Right now you don't 'get' him.
And besides the question of limits, and the strategy Draco has to break them,
there is the question of differences. You've been together for two years now,
but the experience was very different for each, and the roads you traveled to
get here, you walked alone." I turn to the other man, the one we're doing
this all for, "Draco, I know you haven't talked about the things each had
to give up to be together. I think you should start now. Tell Harry, what
changed in your life, what changed in you."

Unease. But
this is neutral enough territory, some of it worked through already, so he can
dare to walk there.

"I�
gave up my family." Full stop.

"I gave up my loyalties. I changed my ideals, or they changed� I,
gave up all but few of my friends, I gave up my habits � for you, and thus for
your friends � I talked to you about the house-elves and the flat issue, Harry,
and I submitted. I gave up my dislikes and likes of people. I gave up who I was
� you have to have recognized that you've been dating a very different Draco
Malfoy than you knew. And don't get me wrong, Harry, the rewards � you � were
worth it, and I knew what I was doing, in the back of my mind. It's just,
Harry, sometimes I don't know if you're still here, if I'm still here,
if it's still worth it. You're worth it, and it's supposed to be a good thing
to change for the better, but maybe it was too much, too soon, or maybe I miss
some parts, and don't know why I had to give them all up�" Silence.

"Draco!"

But
what can you say to that? Except
'thanks for the responsibility.'

"I
didn't make you! You, you, could have stopped anytime. You know
that! I didn't hold an axe over your head. I didn't make you decimate your
life!"

"I
know, Harry. But it was all or nothing kind of deal. I knew that early on. And
I held on as long as I could � in school. But now, it's so small and empty a life, and there's only you left, I got rid of the
rest, and you're my life Harry, but maybe that's not enough." Pause.

Harry
tried to reply, "Dra�" but was cut off by
the rest of it:

"And
when I tried to make it enough, to bring more of you into me, to get us as
close as I could to fight the emptiness, you think I'm like the Death Eaters.
When I'm nothing like them now, I'm the furthest from them I can be. Do you see
now?"

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TBC.

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Freud and his Friends