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Lost and Found	By : TheLibrarian Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 3257 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter and all his friends (and enemies) are the brain-child of J.K.
Rowling. I�m just borrowing them. Exclusive ownership belongs to JKR, Arthur A.
Levine Books and Scholastic Inc. Jane Sinclair and all additional characters
belong to me. You belong to yourself.

***

And if I told you that I loved you

You'd maybe think there's something wrong

I'm not a man of too many faces

The mask I wear is one

Shape Of My Heart, Sting

Chapter
Twelve � He�s Just a Man

Jane
stumbled after Severus, desperately trying to keep up with his long strides. He
held her so tightly, it felt like their hands were welded together, and she
briefly wondered whether he hadn�t used a Binding Spell.

�Severus,
where are you taking me,� she demanded to know, but he kept ignoring her.

He dragged
her through Hogwarts, past giggling students, gawking ghosts, and flabbergasted
teachers. She didn�t dare imagine what everyone would be thinking. Jane groaned
in resigned humiliation, hoping beyond hope that the gossipmongers for once
might keep their mouths shut.

�Severus,�
she pleaded again, and he suddenly stopped. �What�?� Jane looked at him in
confusion.

He pulled a
key from his pocket. Only then did she realize they were standing in front of a
door. She recognized that door. It led to his rooms. Severus pushed her
unceremoniously inside and pointed his wand imperiously at the doors,
effectively warding them against prying eyes and ears. Standing in front of
her, he crossed his arms over his chest and scowled darkly.

�Now,� he
ground out, �talk!�

Jane took an
involuntary step back. �I�� She nervously licked her lips, drawing his gaze to
her mouth. Something flashed in his eyes.

�Well?! Come on, I don�t have all day.�

�I already
said all I wanted to say, Severus. I want you to stop harassing me, and I want
you to stop insulting my friends. I�m tired, Severus,� Jane suddenly snapped,
frustrated. �Do you hear? I�m tired � mentally, emotionally, and
physically. I�m tired of your constant attacks. I�m drained.� She sighed. �I
just want you to be civil to me.�

�Is that
all,� he drawled sardonically. �And why should I do that?�

�Because
that�s how people normally associate with each other,� Jane told him quietly. �But
you wouldn�t know about that, would you, Severus?� She shook her head sadly. �You��

�Severus?�
McGonagall�s voice boomed through the sitting room. Her face had appeared in
the fireplace and she looked extremely annoyed. �I just heard the most alarming
rumor�� Her gaze fell upon Jane. �Well,� she continued primly, �I see
the reports were correct. Miss Sinclair, are you alright?�

�She�s
fine,� Severus snapped impatiently.

�You were
seen dragging her through the castle, Severus!� Even disembodied,
McGonagall managed to be terrifying. �How dare you manhandle a fellow
teacher like that?�

�Minerva,�
he began, but she interrupted him.

�Miss
Sinclair� Jane, are you alright?� The worry in the Headmistress� voice was
genuine.

Jane chanced
a peek at Severus. �So far, yes.�

Severus�
arms fell to his sides. �I don�t harm women, Minerva,� he told her tiredly, �at
least, not intentionally.�

�That�s news
to me,� Jane threw in, drawing an enigmatic gaze from him.

McGonagall
looked from one to the other, making up her mind. �Very well, then,� she
finally said. �I�ll leave you two to sort this out. I expect you to come to an
understanding, one way or another. I will not have feuds among my
staff.�

With that
she left them, and an awkward silence settled over them. Severus stared blindly
into the embers, his back turned to her. Jane decided to be comfortable and
took a seat on the tufted leather sofa. She undid her cloak and let it slide
over her shoulders. She smoothed her skirts and crossed her legs. Try as she
might, she couldn�t keep her eyes off Severus. It had been a long time, since
she�d had the opportunity to observe him more closely. He stood ramrod
straight, as formidable as ever. In the weeks since his return from Azkaban,
his body had filled out again. His jet-black hair hung loosely around his pale face,
which had lost its haggard and haunted look. More lines furrowed his features,
but she didn�t mind. His harsh appearance gave him character. Jane liked the
fact that he wasn�t fashionably handsome. She had no use for metrosexuals and pretty boys. She knew what lurked beneath
their deceptive charming fa�ades. She had learned that the hard way.

After what
seemed an eternity, an imperceptible shudder went through him. He took a deep
breath, having made his decision.

�Jane, if
you want to leave, you may,� he told her quietly over his shoulder. �I won�t
trouble you again.�

That was it?
He didn�t even look at her!

�Could you
please tell me that to my face, Severus?�

�Don�t make
it any harder than it already is.�

She looked
at him incredulously. Hope rekindled in her heart, and she decided to take a
chance. �Sending me away is hard?�

He swirled
around to face her. �Yes, damn it!�

Jane shook
her head. �I don�t believe it. You don�t even care for me.�

�What do you
want from me, woman? Blood?�

Jane didn�t
move. �I want you to tell me the truth.�

Severus
wiped a hand tiredly over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. �Please�
just go.�

�Not until
you�ve told me what�s in your heart,� she told him gently.

�There is
nothing in my heart,� he told her coldly, but his voice had lost its edge. �I
have no heart.�

Jane jumped
to her feet and rushed to him. �Of course you do, Severus.� She planted her
hand firmly over his chest. �It�s right here. I know you don�t like to
depend on anyone but yourself, because you�re afraid of setting yourself up for
hurt or disappointment. I also know that you suppress your feelings, because
you think they make you weak. But don�t you see, Severus, they only make you
human. Is it so bad to let yourself feel?�

He looked
down at her hand, resting protectively over his heart. He clenched his jaws
together, struggling for composure.

�It must be
so hard to always be in control,� she murmured. �Severus, I want you to know
that you�ll never have to pretend with me. For once in your life, let your
guard down. Please, Severus, take a chance,� Jane pleaded softly. �Take a
chance on me. On us.�

He met her
gaze, and what he saw in her eyes was his undoing. After all, he was only a
man. Nothing more, nothing less. Just
a man. He placed is hand over hers, clutching it to his chest. Severus
sighed and a shudder went though him as he let go.

�All my
life, I had to keep myself in check,� he began quietly. �No one ever took care
of me. I always had to look out for my own interests. Dumbledore was kind and
supportive, but he had his own agenda. I served his purposes. I was a good
teacher and better spy. People despised me for it, but as long as did their
dirty work, they were happy enough. They never truly accepted me, though, as a
person�� He broke off, shaking his head.

�Go on,� she
encouraged him gently. �Tell me everything.�

�And then
you came along. You had lost everything and were at the mercy of everyone
around you. By all appearances, you were all prim and proper, weak and docile.
And yet, you were not afraid to stand up to me. You put me in my place more
than once, and rightly so. You had nothing to gain from
me and treated me as an equal. And then� things changed. When you left
for Fenton Hall over Christmas, I felt let down.� He grimaced wryly. �A foolish
notion, I know. You didn�t owe me anything, and yet, because you were
the only person who put up with me, I felt� well, like you�d deserted me.
I already knew what I would have to do. It had all been arranged. I wanted to
spend my last few days with you. Soak up your goodness and kindness, so it
would get me through the nightmare that is Azkaban.�

�But you didn�t
ask me to stay.�

�No,� he
sighed. �And I�ve been calling myself every kind fool since then. No one has
ever enjoyed my company, let alone my touch�� His eyes glittered enigmatically.
�And, yet� you would melt into my arms under the most interesting circumstances.�

�How could I
not?� She looked at him wonderingly.

He groaned,
cursing his foolishness. �On Christmas Eve you gave me a glimpse of Heaven.
Something I could hold onto during those awful nights that lay ahead. When you
came to visit me in Azkaban, you looked so pure and innocent, so out of
place. You didn�t belong there, and I didn�t want you to see me the way I
was. Filthy. Desperate. Guilty. But you wouldn�t leave. I had to be cruel to
send you away. After my return from Azkaban, all those months in the Shrieking
Shack seemed to be nothing but a dream. And then, I saw you and Remus together.
He made you laugh, and you looked so happy. I thought I�d lost you,� he
finished quietly.

She stared
at him. �What?!�

�I thought
I�d lost you,� he repeated, his composure crumbling. Tears welled up in his
eyes, and he clasped her face between his hands.

�Please,� he
whispered fervently. �Please don�t ever leave me again.�

She placed
her hands over his. �Never again,� she promised him.

With a
groan, he pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly, almost reverently. A clock
chimed in the background, and Jane tore her mouth away.

�Oh no,� she
exclaimed. �I must go.�

Severus held
her back. �Don�t leave,� he pleaded. �Not now.�

�I must.�
Jane shook off his arms and smoothed her dress. �McGonagall probably thinks
you�ve processed me into one of your potions.� She moved away, in search of her
cloak, and came to stand by his desk.

Severus
watched her glumly. �Please don�t go.�

�I have to,�
Jane said.

He slowly
shook his head. �No, you don�t.�

�I�ll see
you at breakfast.�

�No,� he
said hoarsely, moving up behind her. �No more wasted opportunities. No more
teasing. No more suppressing our desires. No more denying what is deep in our
hearts.�

Unable to meet
his smoldering gaze, Jane turned and inspected the paperweight on his desk. She
could feel his hot breath on the nape of her neck, his body unbearably close.
She slowly nodded, making up her mind.

�No more.�

He stepped
closer and brought his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him. He
kissed her neck.

�No more,�
he murmured, letting his hands roam sensually over her body, just as they had
in her dream so many months ago.

Feeling
daring, Jane leaned back into his embrace, against his powerful frame. She
reached up behind her and caressed his neck. A low growl rumbled in his throat
and he turned her around to face him. Severus slid his hands up to her
shoulders and over the vulnerable skin of her throat. He traced the delicate
line of her jaw and finally captured her face between his hands. He stared into
her eyes, and the fierce, wild longing that burned in his sent icy hot shivers
of anticipation through the very core of her. His lips sought hers and they
came together in a passionate, urgent kiss, which was neither gentle, nor
sweet. It was rough and primal and utterly desperate.

�I need
you,� he breathed raggedly against her lips, when they broke apart for air. �Now.�

Jane nodded.
�I know.�

�Do you
mind?�

She didn�t
answer him. Instead, she rose on tiptoe, hoping that her kiss would tell him
all he needed to know.

A guttural
groan escaped his lips. He cleared his desk with one sweep of his arm and
lifted her onto it. Jane could feel his desperation in every move he made, in
every touch and kiss he bestowed. All she could do was to touch him in return,
to make him feel wanted and accepted, and to hold on to him as their passion
swept them away.

All too
soon, Severus panted against her breasts. �I can�t go slowly� it�s been too
long.�

Jane understood
his need. �It�s alright,� she whispered. �I trust you.�

With a groan
that bordered on pain, he lifted her skirts and removed her underpants with
shaking fingers. He fumbled with his trousers and finally managed to free
himself. Jane opened her legs in welcome and he groaned again as he rocked
against her. He draped her legs over his hips, and she moaned at the intimate
contact between their bodies. Severus began to enter her, but suddenly stilled,
hesitating. Jane witnessed the conflict in his eyes, the inner battle he waged,
and she made the decision for him.

�No turning
back,� she whispered, and before he could focus enough to understand her
meaning, she tightened her legs and pushed up her hips, driving him into her.

They lay
still, locked together, for what seemed an eternity. Severus stared down at
her, utterly shocked. Her action had caught him completely off guard and it
touched him deeply.

�Why,� he
demanded. �Why?!�

Jane levelly
met his troubled gaze. �I love you,� she told him simply.

It took him
a moment to digest this. He finally nodded slowly. �No turning back.�

She smiled
and pulled him down to her. With a sob, Severus surrendered to her sweet kiss
and at long last let go of his pain and insecurities. Desire claimed him once
more, and he drove into her, burying himself to the hilt. Her sweet generosity
and years of celibacy pushed him over the edge. His control snapped and he
thrust into her again and again. He wasn�t gentle. He wasn�t slow. Need had
taken over and after only a few strokes, he found his release. He drove into
her one last time, so powerfully that he rocked the desk. Groaning against her
cheek, he collapsed on top of her.

For a long
time, neither of them moved, and the only sounds in the room were his ragged
pants. Jane�s arms were cradling him against her and his head rested over her
heart. When he finally lifted himself off her and adjusted his clothes, regret
was written over his face. He tenderly lowered her skirts over her legs.

�I�m sorry,�
Severus apologized wretchedly. �I�m sorry for not making our first time better�
more special.�

She reached
for him and caressed his face. �I didn�t mind.�

His
expression softened. �I don�t deserve you.�

Jane smiled.
�Yes, you do.�

Looking down
at her, he allowed himself a small smile. �You don�t look very comfortable��

�I have
rested better,� Jane admitted dryly.

His smile
widened, and he swooped her up into his arms. Severus
carried her over to the sofa and settled her over his lap. He hugged her to him
and Jane rested her head against his shoulder. Her fingers toyed with one of
the many buttons on his jacket. He gently removed her hand and entwined his
fingers with hers.

�Will you
stay the night?�

�I don�t
want to leave��

�I was
hoping you�d say that.�

��but��

�No buts,�
he cut her off with a kiss. He had meant to be gentle, but her enthusiastic
response rekindled his passion.

Severus
gently eased her backwards, intent on taking his time, on wooing her properly
this time. He hadn�t given her much pleasure earlier, and he was determined to
make up for it.

�I�m sorry,�
he told her reluctantly within a few minutes, almost embarrassed, �but I must
have you again.�

Jane�s eyes widened in surprise and delight.

�Will you
suffer me again?� He didn�t meet her eyes.

She reached
out and caressed his cheek, pushing his tousled hair out of his face. �I enjoy
your touch, Severus. It doesn�t make me suffer.�

To emphasize
this statement, she opened her legs so he could settle more easily against her.

�Take me, Severus.�

===

A/N: It
killed me not to give you any hint at the beginning of the chapter, but I�m
sure many of you had already guessed what would be happening, that this would
be the chapter. Hang in there! I�m not done, yet. There�s still more to
come. After all, sex generally complicates things� The next chapter is already in
the making.

Oh, and the
views of the characters don�t necessarily reflect those of the author, and age is
just a number�

Lost and
Found � 2005 by MMHG

===
- 11
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- 13
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