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Life as I know it	By : BlindedHP Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 75983 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Title: Life as I know it
Summary: This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.
Warnings: BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.
Chapter 12 (Posted on 3 March 2015): The little boy and the strange cold man
Severus didn't know whether to scream in frustration, pull all his hair out, or to jump in the lake and give himself over to the mercy of the Giant Squid.
He had sat watch by Harry's side the entirety of the two hours the poison was supposed to take to work through the system, Harry was Harry of course, and that was the reason why the poison took not two hours but four to work through his system. Severus at first feared that Harry would never wake up again.
Maybe that would have been a better outcome?
The small form sitting in the corner of his lounge reminded him of just how the poison had affected Harry.
The boy had, after waking, looked at Severus with wide eyes that held such fear that Severus had thought for a moment that Voldemort had appeared behind him, or maybe Vernon Dursley. Harry had then looked down at his lap, and had registered where he was, on the transfigured bed Severus had made.
Harry had jumped up quickly, as if the bed had burned his buttocks. Severus had watched in confused fascination as Harry had then stood up straight with his hands behind his back and his head bowed. The boy had then walked over to the corner where Severus watched him now, sitting on his hunches and looking at the floor as if looking anywhere else would taint the place.
Fear of what this meant crawled in Severus's heart and he sighed in frustration and helplessness as the boy reverted back to behavior he had not displayed in years.
The fact that Harry was alive and –well?- penetrated Severus's brain then, and he grabbed the boy in a bone crushing hug.
Trembles ran through Harry's body and it took Severus a moment or two to realize that. When he looked at the boy, he could see that Harry was having a panic attack. The last time Severus had seen one as severe, had been during Harry's second year, and it was quite a foreign concept for him now.
Harry quickly regained his composure though and the reality of just how the poison had affected Harry made itself known by the boy's next words:
"Are you my Master?"
Severus looked at him for one disbelieving moment before he took the boy's chin in hand and reached out with his well trained mind to find Harry's thought patterns.
Harry's brain was in scrambles. There was one big *void*. It was the only word Severus could think of to describe it, where all his Hogwarts years had been. All that was left were the years he had spent with that animal Dursley. Severus's hatred for the man reached a new height after that as, however indirectly, that man was the cause for Harry's state of mind.
Small hands reached out to Severus's trousers, and he was too shocked to do anything for a moment, resulting in Harry getting the button open but not the zipper. Severus quickly stilled the hands and Harry began trembling.
"I must please my Master. You are my Master? This boy will please his Master. May I Master?"
"No! Harry!"
The confused and hurt look the boy sported almost broke Severus's heart completely.
"My name is Harry? You've given me a name? This boy does not deserve a name Master."
Every trace of stubborn pride left Severus at that moment and he knelt down in front of the boy to look him in the eye.
"Yes Harry, your name is Harry, and you deserve so much more than just a name. Master Vernon" the name came up with a chocked hitch "gave you to me Harry. Master Vernon will never be your Master again."
Harry looked at him with a blank expression then, but nodded his head in acceptance. He had never had a Master other than Master Vernon but he would be a good boy for his new Master. He would be a good boy!
"I have to ask you some questions Harry and you will answer me truthfully, is that clear?"
"Yes Master."
"Good. Firstly, tell me, how old are you Harry?"
"I am six and a half Master."
Severus sucked in a deep breath at that and cursed Bellatrix Lestrange with every swear word he knew. Seeing as he lived in a school with adolescents – that was quite a lot of swear words.
"Master Severus?"
The hesitant question in the voice brought Severus back from his plans of revenge and he looked at Harry with wonder.
The boy looked confused himself but at the question in his eyes, Severus nodded.
"Yes Harry, my name is Severus, Severus Snape."
"Master Severus? How did I know your name Master? You never told me your name?"
Hope began to bloom in Severus's chest and a plan formed in his mind.
The holidays were just starting and Severus would have a whole two months to work with Harry. He just hoped that his assumptions were correct and that Harry could regain his memories.
"I'm going to tell you a story Harry; a story about a wonderful little boy who has changed the life and heart of a cruel and cold man. Do you want to hear the story Harry?"
Harry looked at Severus with hopeful eyes and hesitantly nodded his head.
"This boy would like that very much Master."
"Good Harry. Take a seat and I will begin the story. I will tell you a little bit of the story every day and see what you think of it, okay?"
"Yes Master, thank you Master."
Harry sat down on the floor in front of the couch and Severus took his place on the couch, knowing that it was too soon to give Harry permission to sit next to him. The boy had enough to deal with and comprehend as it was.
"Sit back a bit Harry, that's it, your back against the couch. Good, are you comfortable? Let's start then."
"A little boy, just a bit older than you Harry had once lived with very, very cruel people. The little boy was small, much smaller than any other his age. He was a bright boy full of life and energy. He loved his school. School was the one place that the cruel people he lived with could not touch him. The teachers all loved this little boy, as he was always very helpful. He loved to help the teachers with cleaning their classrooms at the end of the day, and he loved to help any of the other children who needed help in classes.
Every day the little boy would go to school with hunched shoulders and secrets that he kept close at heart. As soon as he entered school, he would straighten up and smile as wide and as bright as possible. He truly loved his school. No one there ridiculed him. -That means that no one told him he was worthless, that he meant nothing and should not even be allowed to live.- No one at school yelled at him that he was abnormal or a freak, all the teachers loved him and he liked that, he needed that.
When he went home after school, the cruel people he lived with would hurt him, yell at him and neglect him. Neglect means that they ignored him, they didn't give him what he needed such as food, a bed, a room or anything else that children need in order to thrive – blossom and grow like a flower needs water to grow, a child needs love and care to blossom.
Do you understand the story thus far Harry?"
Harry looked up at the question addressed to him and Severus could see both tears and confusion in his eyes.
"I think so Master." Came the whispered answer and Severus decided that he had planted enough information in the boy's brain for one night. There was no need to rush things with Harry and it could in fact only be detrimental if he went too fast with what he hoped to accomplish.
"Good Harry. Now I want you to listen to me and you are to obey every word, is that clear?"
"Yes Master."
"I want you to go and take a shower; I will put the water on for you as I'm sure you won't know how things work here. You are then to dry yourself off with one of the towels in the bathroom. I will put some clothes out for you and you will put them on. Then you will go to that room over there and you will climb in the bed and under the covers. I will then come to give you something to drink, and you will sleep. Is that clear?"
Harry looked at him as if he'd grown a second head, but as Severus frowned at him, he quickly nodded.
"Good. Now get to it!"
It felt like first year all over again, maybe even worse but Severus knew they would get through this and he hoped that by giving Harry a 'third person's view' of his life, that it would help him realize his own worth in life and that the way that 'the little boy' was treated was not right in any way shape or form.
The next evening Severus once again had Harry sit at his feet where he proceeded to continue with his story.
"Remember I told you last night how the little boy would go home to the cruel people and get yelled at? Yes? Okay, now, the little boy was very badly hurt some nights. He didn't know exactly what the cruel people were doing to him, but he did know that it hurt, it hurt a lot.
His body was always full of aches and pains and most nights he cried himself to sleep. At first, when the little boy was young, about your age, he would wish for someone to come and help him, save him from the cruel people but no one did, no one came.
Later, when a few years had passed, the little boy had lost hope that he would one day be saved. He had a routine by then. Go with one of the cruel people, the man, he lived with and do whatever he was told to do. They would sometimes visit other men who would also hurt the little boy, hurt him so bad that he sometimes bled, but he never said a word. He wasn't allowed, if he made one wrong move, if he did one thing the cruel man didn't like, he would be hurt again, worse than any time before.
The little boy realized as he grew older that he was not treated exactly right. He knew it, but he didn't know how to change it and so he continued on with what he knew.
He had been taught from a young age to do exactly as he was told and that was why one day when a strange man showed up at the place where he lived, with the cruel people, he did exactly what he was told.
The strange man told the boy to grab everything he owned, because he was going away with the strange man. The cruel people he lived with didn't say anything against the wishes of the strange man, and so the boy did what he was told.
The strange man then took the boy out of the house and to a magical place, a place where the boy began a whole new life; A life away from those cruel people.
Do you know where that little boy went? He went to…."
"Hogwarts."
Came the whispered word from the floor and Severus looked down at Harry as the boy looked up at him for confirmation.
"Yes Harry, the place he went to was named Hogwarts. It was a magical place as I said, because that was what they taught there. Hogwarts was a school, a school for wizards and witches, where they were taught spells and charms and curses and hexes."
"Are we at that magical place?"
"Yes Harry, we are at a magical place. We are in Hogwarts where I am the Potions Professor."
"I remember something about living here. There's a hat right? A hat that chooses where you should go, but he didn't choose for me, he gave me the choice of where I wanted to live. Is that right?"
Severus smiled down at the confused boy and carded his fingers through the messy hair as he answered.
"Yes Harry. You were chosen as an apprentice here at Hogwarts and you got to choose your own Master."
Harry nodded his head and laid his cheek against Severus's knee.
Severus didn't know if Harry remembered anything else but he didn't push. They retired for the night and the following evening they resumed their positions by the couch.
"The little boy who had gone with the strange man decided to live with him. The man was strict and stern but he wasn't cruel, not for the little boy, as the people he had lived with had been much crueler than the strange man.
Everything was different with the strange man though. The little boy quickly learned that although the man didn't tolerate disobedience – that is he didn't accept any 'naughtiness' and always expected the boy to do as he was told – the man was never cruel and he never hurt him. Not as the cruel people he had lived with all his life had. No one else really liked the strange man but the little boy did. I don't really know why the little boy liked the strange cold man but for some or other reason he did. The little boy began to smile more and not only during school hours. He also began to grow a little as the strange man kept giving him nasty medicine to help him."
"It's not medicine, its potions."
Severus looked down at Harry and quirked his lips. "And so it is yes."
"The strange man always gave the little boy some potions to help him grow and heal. You see, the little boy had been very badly hurt when he was living with the cruel people before, and even though he didn't know it; his body had been broken and hurt severely. The strange man knew though, he knew that cruel people like the people the little boy had lived with could hurt someone very badly and the little boy didn't even know just how badly he had been hurt.
No one else knew about what the little boy had endured at the hands of the cruel people – that is, no one knew just how badly he had suffered – and the strange man decided not to tell anyone else. He told some people who needed to know about the little boy, that something was wrong and that he needed help, but he didn't tell them everything, only the most necessary things."
Severus looked down at where Harry had rested his head on his knee and couldn't help but smile at the sleepy profile. Harry's eyes were straining to stay open and Severus gently pushed the boy upright before he stood and helped Harry to his bed. They could continue the story the next day.
Harry unconsciously snuggled deeper into the warm bed and was asleep before Severus had even finished tucking the blankets around him.

"Do you know Harry that the strange cold man whom had taken the little broken boy into his home had also taken him into his heart? The strange man had thought that he didn't even have a heart anymore before the little boy had entered his life. Years of being under suspicion and scorn – that is no one trusted him or liked him – had hardened the man's heart and he had built a shield around himself. No one could come close to him, not in a physical sense as in standing next to him, but emotionally. He had shut himself off from the world, and any positive words or emotions directed at him. He never smiled or laughed, but that little boy changed him. It was like the little boy infected everyone around him with laughter and joy – that means that everyone wanted to laugh when the boy laughed and smile when the little boy smiled.
The cold man began to open up more, he could be found sharing a word or two with some of his colleagues – people he worked with – and he even smiled sometimes, but only in front of the little boy, no one else. It was their little secret."
Harry smiled a little at that, he would like to have someone like that. Someone that trusted only him with a secret. He hoped his new Master could one day like him the same way he was beginning to realize that the strange cold man liked the little boy.
"The little boy lived with the cold man and he enjoyed it immensely. They sometimes went out together to get an ice-cream or sometimes they took their magical brooms and flew around in the open sky with the little boy chasing the strange man at unimaginable speeds.
School continued on as normal and the little boy learned his magic at the same time that he learned that not everyone in the world was as cruel as the people he had lived with.
The little boy began to care for the cold man. The cold man had looked after him for four years by then, and the little boy realized that care did not mean pain. To hurt someone was no way to show care and the cold man showed the little boy what care really meant.
He showed the boy that to teach someone a lesson, you didn't have to get out a belt or a whip, but stern words and a loving touch. The little boy came to realize that if he did something wrong, it didn't mean he would receive the lashing of a lifetime but a disappointed look from someone who cared about him, which made him feel even worse than any beating could."
Harry's breath hitched as he tried to keep from crying and Severus reached down to rub soothing circles on his back.
"Enough for tonight. You know the routine by now, go shower and then go to sleep. We can continue tomorrow night."
Harry nodded silently and did as he was told. He had the strangest feeling creeping around in him. Almost like the story his Master was telling should mean a lot more to him than it currently did.

Severus thought hard about what to tell Harry this evening. He could either trigger Harry's memory completely or send the boy back to stage one which he really, really did not want to do.
He just hoped that it was the right decision.
Reaching out to stop Harry from sitting on the floor once again, he pulled the boy onto the couch and laid Harry's head in his lap where he ran his fingers through the messy hair.
"The cold man and the little boy came to really care about each other. The man had even confessed to the little boy that he loved him. It was something that neither of them had ever really experienced, especially not the little boy, but that only drew them even closer.
One day while they were out with one of the boy's friends, everything changed. The cold man had known that the little boy cared for him. Cared as deeply for him as he did for the little boy but neither had really had the opportunity to show just how deeply that care ran. That day the little boy showed the cold man just how much he cared, by putting his own life in danger to save the man. The boy didn't know at the time that he could have easily been killed but he didn't care, he did what he thought was right, and at that moment, he wanted to protect the man he had come to care for.
A fight had broken out and by the time the cold man had a chance to check up on the little boy, his life had already been in danger. A poison had entered his bloodstream and was working its way through the boy's body."
Severus had to stop there, in order to regain some semblance of control, and as he looked down at Harry he found that the boy was looking up at him with tears spilling from his eyes.
"I'm sorry Master. So sorry Master, I only wanted to help and the Death Eater was going to kill you. I couldn't, I just…"
Severus pulled Harry up and held him tight against his chest.
"You remember Harry? You remember your years here at Hogwarts?"
"I remember Master. Thank you for taking care of that scared little broken boy because I doubt that he would have survived without the strange man coming to save him."
Nothing else was said for a few minutes and Severus thought that maybe Harry had fallen asleep when a soft, shy voice reached his ears.
"You're not cold, cruel or strange. You're my Master and you have shown me so much of what a child should grow up with that there's no doubt in my mind that you are the most caring person I have ever met. Don't let the ridicule of others make you think otherwise. I know the truth and the truth is that you are worth as much care and love as anyone else."
Severus snorted a bit before ruffling Harry's hair. "Just who is comforting whom here, hey?"
Harry grinned at him and gave him a hug and a soft "thank you". Severus didn't know what the thank you was for; maybe it was for helping Harry regain his memories or maybe it was for something else. It didn't matter what it was for though, he had his Harry back and that was all that mattered.

"So it was Sirius who came and saved me from that Death Eater? He's quite good at dueling but ouch, it was him who was blasted against that wall?"
Severus nodded while he ate. Harry had been asking and stating questions all day long, but Severus didn't complain. The fact that Harry was all right was enough to curb any acidic comments he might have made about some of the Order members.
"Yes, Black was the one who got blasted against the wall. He was in a critical condition when Remus brought him in, but he's up and about again. Been bothering me day and night about seeing you but I kept him at bay until you regained your memory. You'll have to go see him tomorrow, or I just might hex him the next time he comes knocking on my door."
"I had to change my password every bloody day as Albus just doesn't seem to get the message that I do not want him giving out the password to all and sundry.
I think I'll go and buy my own portrait in Diagon Alley tomorrow, then Albus won't have control over it and won't be able to extract any information from it. Being headmaster of the school certainly has its perks I'd say, but for me, it works against what I want."
Harry chuckled a bit at that but sobered quickly as another thought struck him.
"What happened with Draco? I don't remember seeing him during the fight or after – but that's a given, seeing as I wasn't exactly in my right mind after the battle – what happened to him?"
Severus looked at Harry for a long moment before he sighed and answered.
"I'm afraid that young Draco is quite torn at the moment. He loves his father, dearly, but he also doesn't want to loose you as a friend. You're the first and only real friend he's ever had Harry. Everyone else just follows him because of who his father is. He didn't join in the fight, as he didn't know whose side to choose, but I believe that he is the one who saved Lucius from certain imprisonment. I don't really blame him, as I know that his father loves him just as much as he loves his father, but someday he will have to make his own decision and choose whether to follow his father and always stay in his shadow, or make his own choice, and stand up for himself.
What he will decide I can't say, but I'll ask you not to judge him just yet Harry. He's still young and doesn't see the world quite as you do yet. You've seen and done much more than most adults have and that has given you a better perspective. Draco doesn't have that and as such he will have to learn from his own mistakes or triumphs."
Harry digested all this before he nodded his head. He'd give Draco a chance, as he believed that everyone deserved a second chance, and even a third or forth. He'd see what Draco decided and then choose whether to help him or not. He would not be the one to condemn Draco before he even had a chance to decide for himself.
End Chapter 12
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Life as I know it