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Seasons of War	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 9694 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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Chapter Twelve�A
Series of Small Arguments

�� Harry��

�� No.�

�� Well, that was quick, Draco thought in
annoyance. He sat down beside Harry, who�d had his back turned to him and his
arms folded for about fifteen minutes no. Draco had tried to start other
topics, but Harry had always sensed that they would lead into the one he didn�t
want to talk about and had refused to respond. Then Draco had tried simply
speaking to him, and he shut that down.

�� He would
have to get used to talking about it, though, because it was a good idea,
something they needed to do, and Draco wasn�t simply going to give it up.

�� For a few
moments, Draco was silent, thinking of his next strategy, and gazing absently
across the camp in front of them. This camp was more interesting than the last;
it had small hills ringing it, and Harry often went to sit on one of them when
he needed to brood�that is, think, Draco amended it in his mind. He would get
along better with Harry if he wasn�t automatically dismissive of him.

�� Soft green
grass was just beginning to come out on the hills, and the sky was milder and bluer
than Draco could remember seeing it for months. A few clouds floated directly
above the hill in front of them, gamboling about with the wind as if they were
substituting for sheep. Draco felt his muscles relax as he gazed at it. Yes, he
could see why Harry liked this view.

�� I don�t
want to do it for more reasons than you know.�

�� Draco
started, but took care to keep his eyes straight ahead. Turning to look at
Harry right now might put too much pressure on him, and he didn�t want to do
that. He simply grunted, as if it didn�t matter to him whether or not Harry
chose to talk about this.

�� I mean,�
Harry said, and then trailed off. Draco clenched his right hand into a fist at
his side, where Harry couldn�t see it, and forced himself to wait. Harry made a
sound as if he were clearing his throat and continued, �During the war, I was
able to see into Voldemort�s head through the link that existed between us.
Mostly due to my scar, but also to the�the piece of his soul that I carried
inside me.�

�� Even now it�s hard for him to talk about
that, Draco thought, frowning. Why?
Are the memories of the visions that bad? Or does he think that he�s somehow
tainted because he got a piece of the Dark Lord�s soul buried inside him
without his consent?

�� This would
be like doing that again,� Harry whispered. �Exposing myself to something evil
for the war effort. I survived it last time, but barely. Voldemort could have
turned the connection around, opened it, and made me betray everything that I
knew. That�s�that�s what he did in my fifth year, when he gave me a false
vision of my godfather being in trouble. That�s what got Sirius killed, because
I dashed off to the Department of Mysteries thinking he was there. What if
Nihil did something like that again? I don�t think it�s worth the risk, Draco.�

�� Draco edged
nearer and wrapped an arm around Harry. Harry leaned against him with a sigh.
Draco stroked his shoulder for a moment and hoped that Harry didn�t think this
meant he�d given up on his idea, because he hadn�t.

�� I didn�t
know that,� Draco said. �But with these visions,
you�ll have someone right beside you to tell you if something goes wrong.�

�� Harry
chuckled darkly. �Hermione tried to tell me that something was wrong with the
vision of Sirius, too. I didn�t listen to her. And can you be inside my head
every single hour of the day? If Nihil sends me a vision or starts changing my
thoughts, are you going to know?� He shook his head so that his hair rustled
against Draco�s neck. �It�s just no good,
Draco. I�m terrified of sharing my head with him, and his mind is so non-human
that it almost destroyed me once before when I touched it. I won�t do it.�

�� Draco
licked his lips. It was still a good idea, he felt, but he had underestimated
the depth of Harry�s resistance.

�� Harry,� he
said softly. �I would be right by your side. I would do everything I could to
help you. Will you please think about
making a part of your mind at least similar to Nihil�s? Will you do the
preliminary work while Granger and I and the rest of the comitatus try to come
up with ways to make it safer?�

�� Harry
stiffened. Draco waited, but his waiting, this time, resulted in Harry shoving
him away and whirling around. Draco sprawled on the earth, blinking up as Harry
bent over him, his face dark with rage.

�� I told you
all this that I�ve never told anyone before,� Harry said softly. �All this that
I wouldn�t tell someone other than you
who�d suggested it. I trust you more than my own best friends, Draco. I trust
you more than the rest of the comitatus. You�re my leader and my lover and my
friend. And still you�re urging me to do something that�s both dangerous and
likely impossible? Still you�re
acting as though it would be perfectly all right for me to do?�

�� We don�t
know how dangerous it is,� Draco said, getting his hands and knees under him
and keeping a cautious eye on Harry as he struggled to stand. �I wouldn�t send
you into danger without being sure.�

�� You�re
trying to do that now.� Harry�s eyes could burn
when he was angry. Draco stared, wondering why he�d never seen that before,
and then winced as he realized that it was probably because he�d never made
Harry this angry. �Look, I understand that we need to know what Nihil is up to.
But there�s one other option that we could try. We know he likes to hide in the
old Death Eater caches. And we have a map
of them. We could at least try to spy on him that way before we send me
into his mind.�

�� Draco shook
his head. �I think that would be more dangerous,� he said.

�� Why?�
Harry was practically spitting. �Because this way, I�m the only one who gets
damaged, and I should be able to fucking handle
that? Because you want to protect the precious skins of the rest of the
comitatus, but mine doesn�t matter?�

�� Yours
matters more to me than anyone�s!� Draco snapped. He hadn�t been angry before,
but he could feel the emotion stirring in him now, far beneath the surface, a
glow of cold light that was slowly rising. �Or haven�t I proved that already by
the way I try to take care of you?�

�� You seem
to believe it some of the time and ignore it the rest.� Harry regarded him with
bleak eyes. �You want me to do this because it was your idea, I think, more
than anything. When I tell you that I won�t, that should be enough reason for
you to back off and seek a different solution, but you won�t.�

�� Draco
opened his mouth so hard that his jaw clicked, then shut it again. �Yes,� he
said. �Well. I think it�s a good idea.�

�� But not
the only one we can have,� Harry said. �Admit it. How much of your opposition
to my cache-hunting idea is that you didn�t think of it first?�

�� Draco
scowled. At times it was hard to have someone around who knew him so well.
�What would you suggest, then? We can�t just search all the caches randomly.
He�ll know that we�re coming if we pick the wrong one and then botch something
in our search.�

�� We need
information about what he�s doing,� Harry said calmly, �not to find him. I
suggest that we study spells that will allow us to read the memories of
objects, and then we�d be able to figure out who touched them last and what
traces of magic they were carrying around with them. What?� he added, when
Draco hesitated. �Don�t those spells exist? I know that Weston said something
about them the other day, when she was talking about the ways for partners to
leave messages behind for each other when they�re separated.�

�� Draco
fidgeted in place. �It would take a long time to study and master those
spells,� he said. He didn�t want to reveal his true objection, which was that
Harry wouldn�t be able to learn the magical theory behind them.

�� Longer
than it would take me to make my mind similar to Nihil�s, especially when he�s
not human and I don�t want to do it?� Harry countered instantly.

�� Draco
thought about it, then conceded the point with a nod and stood. Harry clasped
his arm to help him. When he got up, they stood there a moment looking into
each other�s eyes. Draco watched the way that Harry�s breath ruffled his fringe
and tried to understand the mixture of love, annoyance, and anger he felt.

�I do love you,� Harry said,
smiling at him. �But sometimes you�re so stubbornly attached to your own ideas
that it�s difficult to communicate with you.�

Draco could feel his jaw trying to
fall open at the hypocrisy. He thought it was best to lean forwards and kiss
Harry, so that that wouldn�t happen.

*

�� I just
want to know whether you�re capable of leading in battle. I thought it was a
fairly basic question.�

�� Harry
closed his eyes and massaged his forehead. He had to admit that Herricks was
standing up for himself and his partner, nothing else, and that he had every
right to do so. But his row with Draco had been going on for an hour now.

�� Of course,
it didn�t help that Draco kept trying to change the topic and get Herricks
distracted from his central goal: whether Draco was going to be a good leader
when they actually fought Nihil. It made him seem as if he didn�t want to
answer the question. Or else that he couldn�t. Harry knew which one Herricks
would assume.

�� Yes, I
am,� Draco said, the brittle snap of frost in his voice. �Are you going to ask
any more idiotic questions, or can we get back to planning this?�

�� Harry
dropped his hand from his face and looked, in some dread. Herricks sat across
from them at the plain wooden table that was almost the only furniture in
Ventus�s tent, his arms folded and his face so bright with his scowl that Harry
wondered how he could ever have thought the bloke was timid. Draco stood across
from him, finger jabbing the map of Death Eater caches on the table, and his face had acquired an extra
brilliance from his scowl, too.

�� I don�t
think it�s an idiotic question,� Herricks said. �Ursula has told me about your
last battle against Nihil. It sounds like you survived mostly through luck, not
through planning. None of you knew about Harry�s necromancy then or whether it
would work, did you?� His gaze went briefly to Harry�s face.

�� Harry
couldn�t help frowning. Herricks had started calling everyone in the
comitatus�bar Draco�by their first names. Harry was happy if he was that
comfortable with Ventus and Hermione and Ron, but he didn�t think that they were such good friends.

�� Well?�
Herricks raised his eyebrows. �Is someone going to answer me? Ursula is many
things, but I�ve never found her to be a liar.�

�� That was
at a time when we didn�t truly understand our opponent,� Draco said. �We do
now, and we can plan better for a battle like the one that ended up happening
in Wiltshire. That�s what we�re trying to do. Do you have anything useful to contribute, or are you going
to fuss and faff around for no reason?�

�� I don�t
think trying to protect my partner�s life and my own�as well as the life of
everyone involved in this comitatus�is for no reason,� Herricks said, and his
voice had grown distinctly cool.

�� Harry heard
Hermione sigh. She�d tried to intervene earlier, but Herricks had only ignored
her and Draco had shot her a withering glare, and she hadn�t tried again. Ron
hadn�t tried at all. He found watching someone challenge Draco entertaining,
Harry thought. At least he was leaning forwards now, his hand on the back of
Hermione�s chair and a vicious grin that he couldn�t conceal on his lips.

�� Ventus sat
by, swinging her legs and looking as if she would follow whoever triumphed. Or
as if she was so certain of Draco�s triumph that she saw no reason at all to
stop this stupid row.

�� That left
it up to Harry.

�� Listen,�
he said, and Herricks snapped his head around to stare at him. The expression
of surprise on his face wasn�t very flattering, Harry thought. Herricks must
have expected him to stand by and follow Draco like a good little boyfriend.
�What exactly is the matter? Do you want to lead yourself?�

�� Herricks
shook his head. �Of course not. I�d be no good at it.� Draco�s mouth twisted in
a sneer, but Harry thought it was refreshing that they had someone in the comitatus who knew himself that well. Maybe this was
part of why Weston and Lowell had thought he would make a good partner for
Ventus. �But I need to know that someone I�m entrusting my life to, and
Ursula�s life, is a good leader.�

�� What would
constitute proof for you, though?� Harry scratched the nape of his neck. �It
sounds as though you won�t be satisfied until you�ve seen Draco lead a battle,
but if you don�t agree until then, you could get in the way and disrupt his
perfectly competent leadership because of your doubts.�

�� Herricks
opened his mouth, then shut it again. �I hadn�t thought of that,� he said. �For
right now, I�ll settle for a plan that doesn�t sound as though we need large
amounts of luck to make it work.�

�� Luck is
always a factor when we�re fighting Nihil,� Harry said, in time to beat Draco�s
snarl. �We don�t understand everything he can do, and he might find a new way
past the weapon that all the Aurors are so proud of. In the meantime, we�re
going to try and pick a cache that he might be in, but we�re hunting
information, not him. So really, we need to be able to sneak in and read the
memories of the objects or do something else to learn what he�s up to, rather
than engage in a battle.�

�� Herricks
nodded. �That sounds clear. And it�s not what he was saying.� He stared at
Draco. �He never explained clearly to me what was happening at all.�

�� I tried,�
Draco said. His voice was under tight, fragile control, which Harry knew was a
bad sign. �You didn�t want to listen. You kept looking at other people as if
they were the ones who would explain, and then you turned around and demand the
same fucking explanation that I already
gave.�

�� Harry put a
hand on Draco�s shoulder and squeezed it, then looked steadily at Herricks. �Will
you actually listen to him? I think that�s a precondition for judging whether
he�s a good leader or not. You can�t judge him if you don�t know anything about
him. That would make it a matter of luck who you decided to follow.�

�� He saw
Herricks flinch a little, and then smile, as if he appreciated that Harry could
turn his own point back on him. He nodded. �All right.�

�� Finally.� Draco slapped the map and then
jabbed a dark spot, marking a cache, on the northern edge of Muggle London.
�There was one here. I think that�s the one we should look at.�

�� Why?�
Herricks asked.

�� Draco
flashed Harry a look. Harry squeezed his shoulder again and tried to convey the
message he wanted Draco to accept with his eyes. This is the part where you do have to give explanations. Not everyone
knows what goes on inside your head.

�� After a
moment, Draco turned around and nodded sharply. �Because I�m virtually certain
that it�s one I visited once, when I was taken to meet the Dark Lord for the
first time,� he said. �I didn�t know then, but I put together the clues later.
There�s no reason that Nihil would take it for his particular base, but I know it better, and I�d be able to
tell you if there was anything there that I didn�t remember being there the
first time�anything that might have been added by Nihil in the form of traps.�

�� If you
know that cache, why wasn�t it the first one we investigated when we were
trying to decide where to go?� Hermione asked.

�� Draco gave
her a haughty, unfocused look. Harry knew that he was trying to look wise and
distant, as if he saw more things than were just in the tent. Harry thought it
made him look constipated. �Because there was no reason for me to trust you
with personal memories at that point,� he said. �I didn�t know you well enough,
and we weren�t a comitatus.�

�� Hermione
nodded thoughtfully. Harry rolled his eyes. He doubted that was the reason.
Draco had probably put together the clues only recently, and didn�t want anyone
else to know that, because it would destroy his image of �wise leader.�

�� Then again,
with the way Herricks was challenging him, perhaps he had more invested in
maintaining that image this time.

�� Are we
going to tell the Aurors about this?� Herricks asked.

�� Of course
not,� Ventus said. �They wouldn�t let us go if we did. And we�d have to explain
all about the caches and the memories from Snape�s Pensieve and what we�ve done
already and the rest of it.�

�� Herricks
frowned. �But I thought they knew about most of it. Didn�t Harry and Malfoy
here make a full confession when they reached the camp a few months ago?�

�� Not a full
confession,� Draco said coolly. Harry was glad that he had something to argue
about which Harry didn�t have to interfere with. This was in the past, and
Herricks could either accept the facts or dispute them uselessly. �We told them
what we thought would most help them in developing defensive strategies. But
they haven�t done that. We�ve done
that. They don�t need to know about what we�re doing now, because Ventus is
right. They would try to prevent us from going to the cache out of the sheer
belief that we don�t know how to do it, because we�re younger than they are.�

�� You don�t
know that,� Herricks said. �There are those you could ask. Hestia Jones; she�s
younger than the rest. And I notice that Lowell and Weston are closer to the
pair of you than to the rest of us.�

�� That�s
because they�re giving us private lessons in compatible magic,� Harry said.
�That doesn�t mean they�re more loyal to us than the Aurors.� He leaned
forwards, hoping he had found an argument that would get rid of Hericks�s
obsessive focus on how wrong they all were. �Besides, if they have their way,
you�ll never see Draco lead in battle and never get to judge whether you want
to be a part of the comitatus, because they�ll simply take over all the action
themselves.�

�� Herricks
fell silent and thoughtful, and let them plan the rest of the journey to the
cache without interfering. When they were departing the tent, though, he came
up to Harry and stared into his face for a long moment.

�� What?�
Harry asked. He usually had some idea of what Herricks was thinking or about to
say, but this time, he didn�t, and it unnerved him.

�� I wonder,�
Herricks murmured, �whether you know that other people would be more willing to
follow you than Malfoy.�

�� Harry saw
Draco�s shoulders stiffen ahead of him. He had to work hard not to roll his
eyes. He only hoped that Draco wouldn�t bitch and snipe about this later,
because Harry wasn�t the one who had brought it up.

�� Yes, I do
know that,� Harry said, as patiently as he could. �That doesn�t mean that I
want to indulge their fantasies.�

�� Fantasies?�
Herricks gave him that skeptical look again.

�� Their
fantasies of following the hero who saved the wizarding world,� Harry said.
�They think I can be a good leader just because I did that. It doesn�t matter.
I don�t want to, and my particular skill is more in leading a small group of
people than anything else��

�� Herricks
smiled and looked around at the comitatus.

�� A small
group of people who have a common goal,� Harry said patiently. �We don�t, yet.
You�re challenging Draco�s fitness for leading, while Ventus only really wants
to follow him and fight. My friends still don�t completely trust Draco yet. I
have to act as peacemaker, and we all question each other�s decisions. There�s
fragmented trust everywhere. I notice that you haven�t called Draco by his
first name yet, although you�re doing it with everyone else in the comitatus.
Why?�

�� I didn�t
think it would be polite to call someone I disagreed with by his first name,�
Herricks said, with a blink.

�� Harry shook
his head. He hadn�t even considered that as a motive for Herricks calling Draco
Malfoy. �Fine, but maybe you should talk to him directly about this, rather
than asking me? I assure you that he�s thought about people following me as
much as I have. Speak with him more often without yelling at him, and he might
be friendlier.�

�� I don�t yell,� Herricks said, and now he sounded
offended.

�� Harry
rolled his eyes and followed Draco out of the tent. He thought�well, he hoped,
anyway�that they would become more grounded and compatible as they worked
together in the comitatus, but he had little time for someone who twisted his
words around.

*

�� Draco ended
up going back to their tent alone; Ketchum had ambushed Harry on the way there
and told him with a cheerful smile that they were going to practice Tactics
physically, since Harry had so much trouble with the written side of it. Harry
had groaned and given Draco a pitiful look as he was dragged away, but he�d had
no choice but to surrender.

�� When Draco
saw who was waiting for him inside the tent, he was grateful.

�� Trainee
Malfoy.� Holder rose to her feet, eyes fixed so fiercely on him that Draco felt
he could have tried to run and it would make no difference. �You must come with
me immediately. We have discovered that your partner is conspiring against the
Aurors and need your recommendation on how to deal with him.�

*

�� qwerty:
Well, as you see, Draco had to give up that idea.

�� Dragons Breath:
You may get your wish about Holder.

�� Very hard
work to make Herricks part of the team, and it looks like Harry will be doing
the majority.

�� Thank you!
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Seasons of War