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Captive Audience	By : magentasouth Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Hermione/Voldemort Views: 44847 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I neither own nor profit from any part of the Harry Potter universe.

Chapter List
- 1-Ch 1
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 4-Ch 4
- 5-Ch 5
- 6-Ch 6
- 7-Ch 7
- 8-Ch 8
- 9-Ch 9
- 10-Ch 10
- 11-Ch 11
- 12-Ch 12
- 13-Ch 13
- 14-Ch 14
- 15-Ch 15 (just edited - no addition)
- 16-Ch 16
- 17-Ch 17
- 11
- 12
- 13
She was
woken at what felt like the crack of dawn by unnaturally bright light streaming
in the massive arched windows in her room.�

She wasn�t used to light.� Her entire
world had been torchlit for months.� In
the cage the light didn�t vary much.� It
was dimmer when the grand hall was empty.�
When Voldemort was present it was slightly brighter, at least
illuminating the servants on the main floor below.�

But there was never actual sunlight.�

She realised that she didn�t like it.�
The
second thing she realised, as she was peering out from underneath the blankets
she�d defensively pulled up over her head, was that Harry was still there.� At some point she had reclaimed her hand but
for all the good that might have done, he was even closer than if she�d left it
where it was.�

At some point he�d obviously leaned forward in the chair and now his head was
cradled on his arm on top of the mattress beside her at about waist height.� Long black hair had fallen in his face and his
breath was soft and slow and regular as he slept.�
She suppressed
the sudden irrational temptation to knee him in the head.�
Frowning
she lifted the covers on the other side of the bed and tried to slip out. �Halfway out, her feet had just touched the
floor when a sudden darting grip on her wrist made her nearly jump out of her
skin.
�Mione?� Harry�s
sleepy voice sounded concerned.
�Just
going to the bathroom, Harry.� Calm down.
�I�m fine.�
There was
a soft gasp.� She half turned to see what
was the matter.� Harry seemed to be
staring fixedly at her behind.� Jumping
up she whirled around, pointing the offending body part in another direction.� Her gown seemed to whirl a bit widely in the
process and she pushed it down with her hands in front.
�Er...
you do know that the back of your.. um.. nightie.. or whatever it is.. is
open?!� Its..its got no back!�
She had
actually been noticing a bit of a draft, but at his words and the realisation
that Harry had just seen her bum, she turned bright red and thrust her hands behind
her, pulling the stupid gown closed.� Who
would have bloody thought that St Mungo�s would adopt the WORST possible part
of muggle hospitals.

�No.� I hadn�t.� ...thank you.�
I�m.. i�m just going to find the bathroom.� I�ll...be back..�
When he
started to get up she put out a hand to gesture him to stop, holding her stupid
gown closed with the other.�

�No.. you ..stay here..or.. go and
have breakfast or something.. I don�t need help going to the bathroom.�
�Mione..�
he started uncertainly but she was already at the door letting herself
out.�
Shit.� She could see George Weasley down the
corridor talking to a blonde haired girl.�
She turned away quickly and hurried along the wall.� Surely there would be a bathroom somewhere in
this direction.� She had no wish to talk
to anyone this morning.� Truth be told,
she didn�t even need to use the bathroom � but it was a destination that was
away from Harry.. away from everyone else who might be around here and it was
somewhere where no one could come in and start talking to her.�

If she could, she�d stay all day in the bathroom.
She was
looking behind her when she got to the corner, making sure that George hadn�t
spotted her, so she didn�t notice the figure walking around the corner at the
same time and bounced back with a squeak.

It was Mediwitch Medina.

She looked both furious and gleeful.� Hermione
groaned aloud.
�Miss Granger
� what are you doing out of
bed?!� Just where do you think you�re
going?!�� You have not been given
permission to roam!� Do you know how
dangerous it is for you to be wandering about the corridors?!� It is only your room that has been warded against unauthorised entry.� If you are going to go for a walk whenever
you like, the Aurors might as well not have bothered putting up protection
wards for you!�
�I.. I
was going to the bathroom� Hermione stammered, hating the fact that the old
bulldog had made her nervous.�
�Do you
not know how St Mungos operates,
girl?� If you were in need of a bathroom, one would have appeared in your room!� What are you really doing?� Where were you going?� I�ve been well
informed about where you�ve been for the last months.. perhaps you were running
off to send a message to some former associates?�
Hermione
gaped, shocked.� The woman thought she
was a death eater!!�

�EXCUSE ME?!!� she started up like a claxon, no longer caring who heard.� �I AM NEITHER A DEATH EATER, NOR A DEATH EATER ASSOCIATE. HOW DARE ..you...�
she petered out as she became suddenly aware that the corridor she was in had
gained at least a dozen people who were all staring at her.� Half of them were people she had known before
she�d been abducted.

�I just.. needed to be alone.. for a while..� she whispered faintly, her eyes
darting from face to face.� Most of them
looked shocked.. More than half wore expressions of pity.
�Well you�ll
have to go back to your room.� You are not to leave it unless accompanied by
aurors.� You are putting other patients
in danger by being out here.� There are
still many death eaters at large.� No
doubt, if what you say is true, at
least some of them will wish you
dead.�

The brisk tone was utterly emotionless and Hermione was sure that the bloody
witch still suspected her of being a death eater, even if she didn�t come out
and say it.� Nevertheless she allowed
herself to be herded back to her room and avoided the gazes of George, Tonks
and several other order members she couldn�t have spoken to more than a couple
of times in her life.� A hand on her
shoulder made her flinch away.� It was Harry.� Apparently he�d followed her out of the room
too.� He looked a bit hurt.� She swallowed and looked away from him too as
she walked behind mediwitch Medina back into her room, feeling like a prisoner
being led to a cell.
The scan
was deemed much better than those of the previous day and she was given a jug
of ice water.�� The mediwitch then left
to speak with Harry.�
She was
sitting idly daydreaming as she stared at the play of light on the wall when
the door opened and two figures sidled inside.
�Wotcha Hermione..�
a voice she hadn�t heard in a long time called softly, as if they were
concerned someone might hear them.�
Reluctantly
she abandoned her fantasy in which it hadn�t been Voldemort she�d killed at all
but just a polyjuiced death eater, and turned her head, sluggishly.�

Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt had let themselves in and, by the way that Kingsley
was staying by the door while Tonks moved closer, a big �we�re-all-best-buddies�
grin on her face, they hadn�t consulted Harry first.�

Or maybe they had consulted Harry and
he�d said no.

Tonks had short shoulder length hair in a dull brown shade with white ends.� Hermione supposed this was �not attracting
attention� Tonks.� Her standard black
longcoat was stark against the white walls and she was wearing blue and black
striped jeans.�
�How are
you feeling then?..� Tonks asked insincerely.�
Hermione just looked at her blankly.�
She was in St Mungo�s.� Enough
said.�
At her silence,
the young witch seemed to be a bit unsettled.�
�I know you�re still healing and all.. but ..look.. we just need to ask you
some questions.� It�s just a
formality.� Just so that we can say we�ve
spoken to you.. so that no one else comes in and bothers you.� You know we�re your friends!� You can talk to us, right?�
Hermione
shook her head slowly.� �No.��
The other
two in the room looked outright concerned now.�
�Hermione, hon � you have to
talk to someone.� Its procedure.� You�ve been you-know-who�s captive for months.. There�s things you could tell
us that would be-
Hermione
huffed irritatedly. ��Yes.� That�s right.�
I�ve been Voldemort�s prisoner
for months.� �He is dead now.. I saw him die and I don�t
remember anything that happened there, ok?!�
�I�ve blocked it all out.

You�re not here as my friends.� You�re
here as Auror Tonks and Auror Shacklebolt and I don�t want to talk to you.�

Really... I don�t want to talk to anyone..
I just want everyone to leave me alone.�
Kingsley
strode across the floor with a deeply worried expression.� �Hermione � You must reconsider.� Evil men will go free if you do not tell us
what you have experienced.� Please
understand�
�NO!�

She clenched her eyes shut.

She said with quiet, deadly seriousness ��I
do not remember.� And I don�t care.� I just want to go home.� I want everyone to leave me alone.�� In her irritation she almost added �the only
person who has spoken to me in almost a year has been Voldemort and I just can�t
stand all of this... your voices are wrong.. the light.. there�s too
much..going on.. I hate it here.�
She could
just imagine how demanding they would become if they thought she�d been talking to Voldemort for a year.� Harry wouldn�t have been able to get her out
of that, probably.

The saviour in question burst through the door at that moment looking
livid.�
�What the
fuck?!� Get out! � I already told you to leave her
alone.�� Kingsley � what the hell is wrong with you?!�� I said she was upset and didn�t want to talk
to you right now!��

He drew his wand.�

Tonks and Kingsley exchanged a meaningful expression as they moved very slowly toward the door, each of
them glancing back at her warily.

�Are you ok, Mione?� Harry asked worriedly as he shuffled them out and moved to
close the door.�
She shook
her head.� �I want to go home, Harry� The
plaintive tone was not at all simulated but she doubted he understood what she
meant.�

Home was gone now.� No doubt it was
crawling with aurors.� He wouldn�t be there anymore.� She could hardly ask Harry to put her in a
cage.

For a moment she considered it even so.
�I�ll.. I�ll
see what I can do, Mione..� Do you think
you might be able to talk to Ginny and Ron this afternoon.� They�re both coming in to see you again.� I know they�re worried.� I don�t want to push you but..well..�

He turned green puppy dog eyes on her and she wanted to swear.� Damn him for knowing exactly how to push her
buttons.

Seeing Ron and Ginny was inevitable but she still really didn�t want to.�
�Sure�
she heard herself respond.
Harry
brightened wearily and moved over to sit on the side of her bed.� �Great, Mione.� It�ll be fine, you�ll see.� Everyone
is upset right now.. everyone�s lost people who were close to them.� They�re... we�re all just happy you�re alive.�
Hermione
sighed inwardly.� A number of people had
lost people because of her.�
�Maybe..I
should tell you a bit about what happened here after you were taken?�� Harry offered hesitantly.�
She
managed to perk up at that.� She did..in
principle... want to know what had happened while she was sitting listening to
endless Death Eater meetings.� She
might.. not really feel in the mood for it right now, but better to get it over
with!
�Ok!� she
agreed and offered a small smile.
Harry was
initially quite sheepish and apologetic as he told her about the day she�d been
snatched out of Flourish and Blotts.�

They had all been in Diagon Alley together; She, Harry, Ginny and an auror who
had kept his distance, watching over them.�
Ron had been helping Fred and George out in the shop that day and they�d
planned to stop in and visit him later.�

When Hermione had naturally gravitated to the bookstore immediately, Harry and Ginny
had looked around the aisles for a while patiently enough, but Hermione had
been up to her elbows in books by then and Ginny had wanted to go and check out
the quidditch supplies.� Harry had
delayed and tried to keep everyone together, wanting them all to stay with Hermione
in the bookstore but she�d waved him off unthinkingly, distracted and irritated
with the way he�d kept hovering when
she was trying to read.� The auror who
had been accompanying them went of course with Harry.�
Hermione
had never had any idea who had taken her.�
One minute she�d been reading about rare magical languages and the next
she�d been waking up groggy in a cage.
It seemed
Harry still felt quite bad that he had put Ginny�s idiotic selfishness before Hermione�s
idiotic selfishness that day.��
Hermione
thought he was being typically Harry and told him as much.

�He planned it, Harry.� It wasn�t a random abduction.� If they hadn�t managed to grab me there, they
would have succeeded somewhere else.��

She was about to point out that they could have tried to take her when she was
at home with her parents and that would have been much worse.. but recent
events were so horrible.� Would it really
have been worse if death eaters had killed them?� At least she wouldn�t have their blood on her
hands.�

She felt a moment of black guilt for having spent so much energy essentially
mourning and regretting the death of someone who had forced her to kill them.� She
hadn�t thought about them again since
Voldemort had died.� His death eclipsed
everything.
�-to
Hogwarts and wouldn�t let me leave the Gryffindor common room for days.� Everyone kept telling me that I�d been lucky
and that they were probably after me.��
Then Professor Dumbledore called me up to his office...and told me that
the order had found your... ��your body.�
Hermione.. I�m sorry.� I should
have kept fighting.� I didn�t believe it
at first.� I thought they were just
telling me it so that I wouldn�t do anything to try and get you back.�

He smiled sadly.

�Turns out that was exactly what they were doing.� They thought I�d run to Voldemort and try to
fight him immediately, nevermind the horcruxes.�
He looked
off to the window and she thought she saw a dark shadow fall in his eyes.� He looked older again.� Harder.�

�You were right about Draco.� He admitted softly.

�Well.. I was too.. but you were more
right.� In the end he wasn�t a death
eater.� Not really.�� He smiled bitterly.� �I..forced him to be one.� He said so quietly
that she could barely hear it.

�A few weeks after you�d been taken.. Professor Dumbledore asked me to come to
his office after dinner.� He...didn�t
tell me why.. I didn�t realise what we were about till he�d side along
apparated me to some rock in the ocean.

...There was this..cave.� And he made me promise to obey him.� Whatever happened.. I had to do what he said.�
Hermione
felt a faint discomfort.� The word obey.��
It was nothing but it made her feel a bit odd.�

She had a strange image for a second of Harry in a silver cage and Dumbledore
telling him that he had to obey.�� It
was funny... in a sick kind of way.�
�-a
lake.. inside.� And in the middle of the
lake there was this kind of..raised bowl
of black liquid.� I had to make Professor
Dumbledore drink it... all of it..
even though he begged me not to..�

It was horrible.� It was poisoning him.� I could see
it and I still had to keep making him drink it.�

And when it was gone he asked me for water.�
I couldn�t make any.� I tried to
get some from the lake and then there were all these inferi.. I didn�t know
what to do.� I panicked.. He saved me and
burned them all.. but it was a close thing.�
And it was all for nothing..�� He
looked down bitterly.�

�The horcrux was a fake.� Regulus Black
had stolen it and replaced it with a fake.. At the time I didn�t have any idea
who�d done it.. and no idea where to find the real horcrux.� Professor Dumbledore was dying and it was all
for nothing.�
She tried
to feel sympathy. �She really tried.� Faintly it was somewhere down there... but
mostly she was simulating. ��When she�d
heard that the headmaster had died, she�d
not been particularly upset about it..she�d been shocked, but not really broken
up.� The other things happening at the
time were far more pressing.�� When Harry
went on to tell her about watching Draco disarm and then, crying, fail to kill
Dumbledore, she wasn�t even surprised. �Voldemort had told her as much.�
�He was
lowering his wand when Snape arrived.� I
watched Snape use the killing curse on Professor Dumbledore.� I chased him.. but he was so much
stronger.� He didn�t even have to try
hard to disarm me.� He could have killed
me.� I didn�t understand why he didn�t.� I only found out the day after you were put
into sleep that Draco�s mother had gone to Snape and asked him to protect him..
he�d sworn an unbreakable vow to carry out the task if Draco failed.� Then Professor Dumbledore had made him
promise to kill him so that Draco wouldn�t have to.� Snape was on the order�s side all along.. ��

and..Draco told me Voldemort had threatened to kill his mother if he didn�t
manage the task he�d set.�
Hermione
blinked, confused.�� Draco hadn�t seemed
overly protective of dear mummy and daddy yesterday when he�d informed her
gleefully that they�d both been killed in the final battle, leaving him a rich,
powerful wizard.� It didn�t add up at all.� She made a note of it and tried to catch up
with Harry�s story.� He was telling her
about how Draco had contacted him.� Terrified
and in hiding, the Malfoy heir had contacted him through an anonymous post
owl.� He�d thought it was a trap
initially and ignored it.� When Draco had
begged and had sent the ring with his family crest and a signed parchment
promising that he would come to a certain meeting place at a certain time
unarmed and alone, he�d taken it a bit more seriously.� Harry had met with him and Draco had made an
oath to him personally.. and then he�d ordered him to go crawling back to Voldemort
to beg for the dark mark.� With Snape
untrustworthy, the order had needed someone else inside the death eaters that
they could rely on.�

Draco hadn�t wanted to do it.. and Harry had used the oath to force him.
It was
clear that he felt very guilty about it.�

She remembered all the times she�d seen Draco in the grand hall screaming under
the cruciatus.� Harry deserved to feel
guilty.
It hadn�t
been long after that that they�d run away to hunt for the remaining
horcruxes.� They hadn�t told anyone they
were going.� Harry and Ron had planned to
go alone but Ginny had caught them leaving and threatened to tell everyone if
they didn�t let her come.� After an angry
discussion in which she ended up hexing her older brother and threatening to do
the same to Harry, they�d relented and Ginny left with them.�

Harry said that he thought now that it was probably for the best since Voldemort
had taken over the Ministry of Magic soon after and then Hogwarts.� With the stories he�d heard from the students
who�d been back at school � he didn�t think that Ginny would have been safer
there.
Hermione
curled down in bed and listened amiably for the next couple of hours while Harry
recounted the adventures he�d been through with Ron and Ginny.� She could hear the subtext almost immediately.� Harry and Ginny were together.�

Obviously.�

It had probably been very hard for Ron to deal with, living in a tent as they
were, and when Harry said that Ron had left them for a while at one point
because he couldn�t stand the effects of the horcrux, Hermione figured that it
had probably also had something to do with the fact that he was alone while his
sister and his best friend snogged and looked at one another with googly eyes
constantly.�
The stories
about finding and destroying the horcruxes left her cold.�
�I was
worried about Nagini.� He had her
hidden..� We couldn�t move forward till
all of his horcruxes were gone, you see.�
If I�d killed him and a horcrux had still been around...well.. I don�t
know what would happen.� Professor
Dumbledore insisted before he died that they all had to be destroyed before
Voldemort was killed.�

So we spent a month waiting.. searching.. And then I had a dream.� I hadn�t dreamed about him in ages.� I guess it was because he was close to the
horcrux.� Lots of the other dreams i�d
had, he was with Nagini.� I think maybe
she made it harder for him to occlude or something.�

Anyway.. in the dream he was carrying her in a big bubble.� He apparated them both to a jungle and cast a
lot of spells.� Then he released her and
told her to be safe.. to hide..and that he would be coming back for her when it
was over.� He seemed worried and that was
great.� To know he was worried that he
might lose.. It was amazing.�

The dream ended a bit after that and I had no idea where the jungle was that he�d
put Nagini.� I extracted the memory and
then we went back to the order.� We
needed Professor Sprout to identify the plants and tell us where to look.� But when we got back we found out just how
many of the order had been taken.. or had died.�
She wasn�t there.�

Luckily.. some of the DA members had escaped from Hogwarts a little time before
and Neville was there.� He recognised the
plants and actually managed to narrow down the location of the dream to within
a few square miles.� It was in
Brazil.�

I went with Ron, Kingsley and a couple of the others and we used the horcrux
detection spell from brooms over the rainforest till we found the first sign of
Nagini.��

We trapped her as quickly as we could.� I
was sure that Voldemort would feel it and come to protect her with a load of
death eaters but he didn�t. �I killed her
with the sword of Gryffindor.� I cut off
her head.�

After that everything went very quickly.�
We wanted to attack as soon as we could just in case he decided to make
more Horcruxes.� Professor Dumbledore had
said that he didn�t think it would be possible to make more � that having so
many was already weakening Voldemort as it was � but we didn�t want to take the
chance.�

Draco got us in.�� He made portkeys.� We had to..��

Harry grimaced.

�Um.� we �- or at least the order - ..had been killing death eaters for a while.� Draco had told us that no one could get in
through the wards unless they were wearing a dark mark.�

So ..we skinned the dark mark from the death eaters we got our hands on.� Or.. other people did that.� I was told about it just before we needed to
go..when Draco gave me one of the..um..

In any case... it worked.� We managed to
get thirty people in.� I forced Ginny to
stay at home.� I didn�t want her in
danger.�

I thought.. I thought he�d have an army of death eaters around him.. I didn�t
think he�d be alone like that.� Guess I was lucky.� Maybe he was arrogant and thought that he
wouldn�t need them.�
Hermione
struggled not to laugh bitterly.

He hadn�t needed them.� He could have
wiped the floor with Harry ten times over with the smallest effort.� She had no idea why he�d apparently chosen to
use the killing curse when that had already failed on Harry once before.�

Did Harry truly believe that he�d
killed him?!�
Probably
it was for the best.� Draco had made sure
that Harry would believe it.� It would be
easier for the wizarding world to accept that the prophesized saviour had
succeeded and killed the evil monster in the end.�
Harry was
looking at her uncertainly.
She
turned a questioning look upon him.� He looked
nervous.
�Uh...
there�s something else.� Er.. Something
good.. or at least I think it�s good news.�
She
waited, still looking at him with polite question.
�Ginny
and I are engaged!� he said softly and offered a nervous smile for a
second.� �We�re going to be married in
the spring.� Ginny said she wanted the
wedding to be a time of new beginnings�
Hermione�s
stomach dropped out and she knew she hadn�t quite managed to keep the sickly
expression from her face by the way Harry�s smile faltered and he looked
concerned again.

She wrenched herself together.� This was
not news.� She�d known this from the
beginning.� Even Voldemort had said it was going to happen.� Harry would marry Ginny, become an Auror and
have a little cottage with a million screaming children.� It had always been going to end this way.

She smiled and it almost felt like a genuine smile.� �Oh Harry.. that�s wonderful.� I�m so happy for you both.�
Harry looked
wary and uncertain.� �Is it?� I�m...��
He swallowed and shook his head slightly.

�...You�re right.� It�s perfect.� I�ve always known that I could be happy with Ginny.� Hermione.. you can�t know what it was like
when we were in the forest with the horcrux locket.� It whispered terrible things in your head..
all the time.. But Ginny stayed by my side.�
She was strong for me.� We were
strong for each other.� She saved my life
more than once. �

Course.. so did Ron.. but..� he petered out and looked uncertain again.� His green eyes flicked up to meet hers and
seemed to be pleading.� For what, she
didn�t know.�

Understanding perhaps?� Acceptance?� What did he want from her?!�

Had Harry always known that she�d had
a massive crush on him?!�

The way he was looking at her suggested to her now that he had.. and that he
realised that this wasn�t such great news for her.�

But she didn�t have that crush
anymore.� She didn�t want Harry.� The one wizard she wanted now, she couldn�t
have.�

And wasn�t that just painfully ironic?!
�Its great
news, Harry� she reassured him quietly, a tentative smile on her lips
again.� He seemed to sigh and nodded
wearily back at her.� �I know.� He said
sadly.
He bit
his lip, as if unsure whether to say something.

�Hermione.. Ron was...really upset..when we thought you were dead.� Really
upset.� He said that he�d never known how
important you were till it was too late.�
He...you know he loved you, right?�
God, the
way he was looking at her.� As if she was
made of spun crystal and might crack at any second.� She knew no such thing.� She knew that Ron was a selfish, self
absorbed, well-meaning, but ultimately dim and dull child.� He was funny at
times.. he was sometimes a good friend.. but he was never..ever..in a million
years comparable with Voldemort.�

Or even with Harry.� And Harry certainly didn�t hold a candle to Voldemort
either.
�Did he?�
she answered airily, knowing that it was not the best thing to do.� It was unnecessarily cruel.� �Did he tell Lavender Brown that?�
Harry
frowned slightly. �He.. was a bit..daft about it.� Ok.� He
even said that himself when it was too late � or when he thought it was too late.� But
he loved you.� He thought you were too
good for him.. that you�d never be interested in him.� He can be a bit..well a bit funny.. about
things like that � you know that.� He�s
got some self esteem issues.�
I was too good for him, Hermione thought
to herself.� And I always will be.� I�d rather be alone than with Ronald Weasley.
�But..
after he found out that you were still alive.. Hermione you have to believe me �
he was so happy.� He wanted to wait here
for you to wake up.� I had a hard time
talking him into giving you some space until I�d spoken to you.� He�s desperate to see you again.� To apologise..�

The way he said it, she was sure that the apology part had been all Harry�s insistence.� Probably Ron had just thought it would be
enough to rush her into his arms and tell her he loved her.

�He...� Harry eyed her again worriedly.

�Hermione.. please..give him a
chance.� Please!� Its.. I know you liked him.. I know you were
hurt about Lavender at the time.. so I know
you must have liked him at least for a while.�
Can�t you find that feeling again?!�
It could be so perfect!� We�d all
be together forever.. the way it was meant to be.� You�d be happy, Hermione.� I�m sure of it.� I�d make sure that Ron didn�t forget how
lucky he was to have had a second chance with you.�
She
stared at him blankly.� She�d expected
that Ron would in some way expect her to be with him now.. but she hadn�t
considered that Harry would see it that way too.� Never in a million years had she considered
that the boy who she�d adored might try to push her into Ron�s arms.. might
give her the puppy dog eyes she so often fell for, to try to persuade her to
accept being with someone who she knew..who
they both knew in fact, would never
be right for her..would never appreciate her in the slightest..would never be able to hold an interesting
conversation with her.�
It was
disappointing.�
�Harry..
I do not love Ron.� I will never love
Ron.� I am glad that he found Lavender.�
Maybe they can both be happy together now�
A low
burning feeling warmed her.� She realised
that she was satisfied that Lavender Brown was dead.� She didn�t regret it anymore.�
Harry
looked sad.�

�I wish..� he started, but shook his head again and looked away.� �I understand, Mione� he amended softly.� �I don�t..blame you..� I feel terrible for Ron.. he�s going to be
completely destroyed by this when he realises that he really did blow his one
chance with you.� He honestly loves
you.� But I understand.� I�m...i�m sorry that everything worked out
the way that it did.� If i�d known-..�
There was
a soft knock on the door.
Hermione
stiffened.� She knew it would be them.� Both
of them.� The two people she least wanted to see in all the
world.� She�d much rather sit down and
have tea and crucio with Bellatrix Lestrange and Peter Pettigrew than face Ron
and Ginny right now.
Harry
stood up and, with a hesitant worried glance at her, walked to the door and
opened it, revealing red hair and nervous excited freckled faces.
Ron
surged past him as if propelled by rockets and was at her bedside in a fraction
of a second.� She blinked and schooled
her features as she was captured and caught up in a hug that was shaken with
her former friend�s overwrought sobs.�
She could barely see Harry�s face over the top of Ron�s shoulder and
looked at him with a �help!!� expression.�
He only smiled sadly and turned back to Ginny, who walked more calmly
into the room.

She could only see the top half of Ginny�s face but the girl was wearing the
same calm contented expression that Harry had been wearing from time to time. �Her blue eyes scanned the image before her and
she frowned faintly, looking then at Harry with questioning irritation and even
slight suspicion.
Finally
Ron released her enough to pull back and look down into her face.� His own was soggy with tears and twisted in
emotion.� �Mione!!� I�m so happy you�re alive!� Don�t die again, Mione.� You.. I have to.. Mione!!!!� he wailed and pulled
her against him again, clenching onto her as if she might run away at the first
opportunity � which she would if she
had any say in it.�
�Ron!� Ron.. calm down� she said, the words
muffled.� �..hurting me�
He let go
abruptly and looked terrified. �oh Merlin. You�re hurt!� Right!�
Sorry.� I.. I didn�t think.� I didn�t mean to.� I�ll.. I�ll never hurt you again, Mione.� I promise!�
You�re ok..right?� Should I call
the mediwitch?!�
She
placed about as much confidence in that promise as she did in the notion that
she could pick Ronald Weasley up by one hand right now, toss him out the window
and then walk out of this stupid situation before she had to deal with Ginny at
all.�
�No.� It�s alright.. just.. i�m a bit fragile..
right now� she tried.� Would that be
enough to stop Ronald from manhandling her?!�
�and.. � she glanced at Harry briefly �And.. I don�t really..want anyone
to touch me.. for the moment.. either�
Harry had
the sense to look a bit abashed and guilty.�
�er.. yeah..� I�ll talk to you
about that later Ron.. alright?�
Ron
looked confused and his gaze flicked between them both with slow
suspicion.� �No.. it�s not alright.. what
is it, Harry?!� he insisted with a low threat in his voice. �Tell me now!�
Ginny,
from somewhere behind Ron, seemed to have picked up on Harry�s alarmed
expression better than her brother because it was clear that she understood
when she told Ron. �Leave off, alright.� Harry
said we�d talk about it later.� Just let
it go.��

She stepped out from behind Ron and approached with a stricken understanding
expression.� �Are you really ok, Hermione.�� Obviously she�d worked out what the apparent
issue was.. or at least what Harry
believed the apparent issue was.

Hermione didn�t even notice the question.�
Her eyes were stuck around Ginny�s midsection, which bulged her robes in
a soft curve.�
�Congratulations�
she heard herself say weakly.�
Harry was
at her side in a second, looking worried.�
�I was just about to tell you about that.� We�re expecting.�
She
snorted faintly. �I had noticed that, thanks, Harry.�� She didn�t roll her eyes but she turned her
gaze back upon Ginny, who she noted now was scrutinising her more carefully
than Professor Snape ever had.�

�I�m so happy for you, Ginny!�� she
gushed as convincingly as she could.� �How
far along are you?�
Ginny�s
face transformed into bright smiles and pride as she stepped closer against Harry,
wrapping his arm around her.� �Thanks Hermione.� I knew you wouldn�t be as daft about it as
Ron and my parents were.� It doesn�t matter
if we weren�t married.� We will be when
she�s born.� I�m just over five months
along now.. She should be born about a month after the wedding. We�ve decided
to name her Lilly after Harry�s mum.� Now
though...� Her face cracked into one of deep sadness �After what�s happened to...mum.. we..we�re thinking we�ll name her
Lilly Molly.� So that mum can be honoured
too.� I know the name is a bit funny
sounding but..� she shrugged and sighed.
Hermione
thought the name was patently absurd.�
Lilly Molly Potter.� God.� It was awful.�
�I think
it�s a lovely gesture, Ginny� she told her.
Harry
grimaced slightly.�
�Hermione..
I need to talk to you� Ron intruded impatiently.� �Alone.�
Harry.. could you give us a minute, mate?!�
Panic
raced through her and she looked at Harry imploringly, begging him not to leave
her alone with Ron.� He only sighed
unhappily and said �sure�, avoiding her eyes then.� Ginny�s eyes were darting between them all,
worry and suspicion written large all over her face, before landing on Hermione
again finally with that scrutinising expression.�

�Come on, Gin.� Harry said, taking her hand and tugging her toward the
door.�

�Hermione.. I�ll be just outside� he reassured her before he left.
She
nodded numbly and a moment later the door was closing, leaving her trapped in
bed with Ron�s pale, nervous, overly emotional form hovering around her.
The
silence stretched on as he stared at her with something like desperation.�
She broke
it finally.� �What did you want to talk
about, Ronald?!�

It was mean, she knew. But she really didn�t want to have this
conversation.� Hopefully if she used his
full name as she did when she wasn�t pleased with him, he�d...

Well no.. there was obviously no way he was going to just leave it alone..� He was a stubborn idiot.� He�d have to say his piece and then when she
turned him down he�d get nasty.� There�d
be the inevitable storming out and sulking and she�d be an evil witch again.
She
sighed, wishing it was over and done with already.
�Hermione..�
he started, swallowing several times as if his throat was dry.� Spying her ice water he reached for it
automatically and poured himself a glass, throwing it back quickly.
It barely annoyed her that he hadn�t even
asked.
�Hermione..
I..� his voice cracked.� �I�m... really,
really, glad you�re alive.�

A wide nervous smile.

�When you.. when they said you were
dead.. I thought I�d never have the chance to speak to you again.� I..�

Mionovu!!!�
She
blinked and furrowed her brow. �what?!� she asked confused.
He took a
deep breath and then another.�

�Mione.. I love you..��

The relief on his face was painful to look at.�
She lowered her eyes to the white blankets covering her.
�I never
told you.. I.. I thought.. It doesn�t matter what I thought.� I was an idiot.� I love you, Mione.� I love you more than anything.� I�m..i�m sorry about..Lavender..� I..�
thought there would be time.� I
wanted to be..more..experienced.. Better..for
you..�� I didn�t think..� he frowned,
seeing her disapproval.
Not only
had he been a jerk with Lavender Brown � but he hadn�t even really cared for her?� That was worse!�
�I...this
is all coming out wrong now. Mione you know
i�m not good with words.� Just...please..
you have to believe me.� I love you.� I�ve always loved you.� Please...give me a chance to show you.� I�ll never do anything so bloody stupid
again!�

Mione.. We�re meant to be together.� From
the first day.. you know?� Please..�
�I�m
sorry Ron.� She said softly.
�Sorry?!� Why are you sorry?� Don�t be sorry, Mione.� Just say you�ll let me be with you!�
�I can�t
do that.� I�m sorry Ron.� I don�t feel the same way.� I won�t pretend to love you because it would
be convenient for us to be together
since Harry and Ginny are getting married.�

I don�t love you.�
Ron took
a wounded step back, horror and pain all over his face.
�But.. I
apologised, Mione.� I told you I loved
you.. I...� You�re supposed to..�
�I don�t
care what anyone thinks i�m supposed
to do.� I can not and will not lie about how I feel to keep
anyone else happy.�

I don�t love you Ron.� I�m very sorry to
hurt you but it would be worse to let you believe in something that isn�t
real.� You will be happier with someone
else.�

She didn�t add that she would too.� She
suspected that she wouldn�t be happy with anyone anyway now.
�Is it Harry?�
he asked suddenly.� She could see the
dark petulant streak in him had come to the fore now.� All sadness was buried under anger.� �Are you still after him?!� Even seeing my sister pregnant and hearing
how they�re getting married?� Is that
it?!�
She shook
her head faintly.� �No Ron.� It�s not.�
She could
see he didn�t believe her.� He was
getting ready to start yelling and saying awful things.� She could just see it.�
�Stop it right now, Ronald Weasley!� she snapped,
before he could start his rant.� To her
satisfaction he did.� He paused and
deflated just a tiny bit.
�I�m
going to say this one last time and then we�re not going to talk about it
anymore.� You and I are NOT at all
suited.� I despise quidditch, I have no
interest in cooking or raising a family and I will never love you the way you
want to be loved.� You do not read, you
are preoccupied with fame and you do not attract me physically.� There would be no point in our dating.� If we married it would end badly.� If not in death, then in misery for one or
both of us.�

You are NOT going to be nasty over
this.�

You are not going to take it out on me for months and try to blame Harry
somehow.� This is nothing to do with anyone else and your anger will not change
anything.�

You promised that you wouldn�t hurt me anymore � well you were about to break
that promise already.� No doubt whatever
you were about to say would have been very hurtful.��

If you truly love me � and i�m sorry to say, I don�t believe you really do, I think you just love the idea of me � but if you feel any love
for me at all, you�ll accept this
just like you learned to accept it when you thought I�d died.�

I understand if you need some time but if you care for me, you�ll find a way to
move on and you�ll be a friend.�

If you can�t be a friend then I don�t think we�ll know each other much
longer because that�s �honestly all I can offer.�
Ron
looked shellshocked.� His expression
shifted to bitter anger again and he opened his mouth.
She
raised a hand to hold his venom off for a moment.
�Think before you say anything,
Ronald.� I will not let you take it
back.� Perhaps it would be better if you
went away and thought about what you really want to say.� You have a tendency to say things you later
regret when you�re very upset.�
His blue
eyes narrowed in pained anger and he closed his mouth.�
She
thought for a moment that she might have actually gotten through to him.

Then he had to go and ruin it.
�Whatever
You Know Who did to you - you�re as much of a bitch as you ever were, Hermione!� I wish he really had killed you!� Better than
having you back here to fuck everything up for everyone else.� he snarled and
whirled, rushing out of the room furiously, slamming the door after him.
Hermione
took a deep breath.
Well.� That had gone better than expected.
And at
least he wouldn�t be coming back anytime soon.�

She�d offered friendship.. but she
really wanted to tell him to go away and leave her alone for the foreseeable future.� This was fine too.
The door
opened again and she braced herself for round two.
It was Harry.� He poked his head in the door sheepishly.
�I�m sorry,
Mione... If I�d have dragged him off without letting him pour his heart out �
he�d have been angry with me and he�d
still have insisted on trying.�
She
shrugged.

�at least it�s over.� She muttered.
He looked
back behind himself, at Ginny she presumed, and then he slid in the door and
closed it behind him.� He looked jumpy..
nervous.� Averse.. as if he was about to
do something he didn�t want to do.�
When he
got to the side of her bed he sat down on the edge as he had been before.� For a moment he calmed and his hand started
to reach for hers, before he caught himself and pulled it back, looking nervous
and uncomfortable again.
�I�ve..spoken
to the healer.� He started.� She knew it
was a tangent.� Whatever he was worried
about wasn�t this.� �He said that you�re
well enough to go home tonight, provided you agree to stay in bed for another
couple of days and rest.� He gave me
detailed instructions on what you can and can�t eat or drink and a list of
potions you�ll have to take for a week.�
Home.
Where was
home then?!� Would she be staying with Harry?!�
�Hermione..
I need to talk to you.� It�s...serious
now..� ok.. You�re not...� He bit his lip
and, to her horror he actually blushed
slightly.� �You�re not.. um..�
�I�m
not?...� she prompted impatiently although she could somehow feel the shape of
the embarrassing conversation looming up ahead.
�You
dont.. er...�� His eyes shifted in embarrassment.�
Rolling
her eyes, she decided to put him out of his misery.

�no Harry.� I don�t fancy you.� She said
flatly. �Is that all?!�
He looked
overwhelmed.� Relieved and pleased.. but
in a weird way she thought he also looked a little disappointed.��

Maybe he�d enjoyed the fact that apparently every single female in his world
worshipped him.

Well.. he�d get used to the idea of her not wanting to touch him with a twenty
foot pole.
�That�s..
That�s good, Mione.� Just.. Gin
was..� or really.. both Ron and Gin had the funny idea that you used
to ..like me.. a bit..� in that way.� They were both..worried.. that what with
everything that�s happened.. and me rescuing you and-�
�No.� she
cut him off.

�You are the last person in the world I�d want, Harry.�
Ok.. that
was maybe a bit much.� He looked upset
now.�
�That
is.. we�re just friends.� We�ve always
been just friends and that won�t ever change.�
You�re marrying Ginny.� You�re the
father of her child.� She has nothing
whatsoever to be paranoid about and Ron
..well he can get lost, as far as I�m concerned.� So there�s nothing we need to discuss�
She hoped
that was enough.� She couldn�t be
bothered being any more delicate than that right now.� Ginny and Ron had sunk to all time lows on
her list of people she most disliked.
�Oh.� Ok.� he said neutrally.� �Yeah. Ok.. I�m sorry for bringing it
up.� Just Ginny wanted...�
�Its fine�
she said, just a bit too snippily.

�I�m really tired now, Harry.� Maybe you
could go home with them and I�ll just have a sleep.��
There was
no way in hell that she was staying
with Harry when they let her out of St Mungos.�

Draco�s offer whispered through her mind but was equally swiftly
abandoned.� She had no desire to chat
about Lord Voldemort with the slippery traitor who�d conned everyone in this situation to his own
advantage.
�Mione..
I�m..sorry.� Harry said softly, sounding forlorn.� �I didn�t want to upset-�
�I�m not
upset.� She snapped.� �I�m just
tired.� Go, Harry. Please.�
He looked
troubled but nodded finally and left.
In the
silence, the bright white room was even more oppressive.� She curled down in the bed and, safe in the
knowledge that she wouldn�t be bothered again by Harry or any more Weasleys,
she allowed herself to finally have the good cry that she hadn�t had the chance
to have yet.�� Once she�d started, it
just poured out of her and she thought she might have actually damaged
something in her chest with the way her heart physically ached with
sorrow.�

It was all.. ruined.�� It was all exactly
as he�d said it would be.. and she wanted to go back. ��She wanted to undo it..� Her parents.. Harry.� Ron.. Ginny...

Remus and Hagrid and Professor McGonagall.

And she supposed, luna and Mrs Weasley and Lavender too.

But most of all him.
She
wanted to go home.�

He was home.�

Nothing would be good now.� It would all
be an endless parade of pretending that nothing had happened.� She didn�t want to stay in the Wizarding
world and endure it and she couldn�t even begin to think of trying to go and
live in the Muggle world.� The thought
was just dismal.� There was nowhere she
wanted to be.� Except for the one place
she couldn�t be anymore.
When
someone knocked on her door she sobbed louder.�
No.� Not more.� No.. she couldn�t right now.�

�GO AWAY� she yelled, half choking on a sob and wailing her misery into the
pillow.
The door
opened and she wished, not for the first time, that she mastered wandless magic
because whoever it was, she wanted to curse them!
�Hermione,
honey.. Are you alright!?�
She
stopped.�
everything
stopped.
�Hermione?� I�m sorry!�
Your friend Harry told us that you were hurt.. that you weren�t..well..and wanted to be alone.. but we
just couldn�t wait any longer!� Sweetie �
what have they done to you?!� You�ve been missing for a year. �A year!!
�A Professor from your school told us
that you were dead!!� Hermione.. Please look at me!�
She
turned her head, blinking hard, trying to clear her eyes.

�mum?!� she whimpered, confused.
Her
mother was standing a couple of metres away wringing her hands, obviously
impatient to comfort her.�
�Mum..
are you real?� she whispered, wondering if she�d gone round the twist.� Was this somehow a polyjuiced death
eater?� What was happening?!�
At her
question, Jane Granger rushed closer and wrapped her arms around her.�

�Yes!� I�m real.� I�m real, Hermione.� I�m so sorry that I couldn�t protect you from
whatever happened to you.� They won�t
even tell me what happened.� Hermione!�
You�ll be safe from now on!� Your
father is outside and we�ll take you home just as soon as the doctor says you
can leave.� Hermione � whatever it is �
you can tell me!� We�ll get you any kind
of help you need.� You�re going to be ok!�

Her mother was babbling frantically and Hermione could see that she�d burst into tears too.�

This was definitely her mother.
It couldn�t be though.� How.. how was this possible?!

The image of horror and dismay on her mother�s face as the killing curse struck
her flashed through Hermione�s mind again.�
She shuddered and stiffened.
�I�m..� ok.�
Mum.� She said softly, willing her to let her go.� She couldn�t deal with this on top of everything else.
Jane Granger
just held on to her daughter more tightly and cried harder.�
�

Author note.
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