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To Find The Missing Lifeline	By : EvilConcubine Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 37353 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I don't make money from this story.

Chapter List
- 11
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- 13
11. Not Your Home Anymore

     He woke up early in the morning after he'd been tossing and turning a good half of the night. The eighth of April... He was in a highly nervous state because of the forthcoming visit to the Ministry. He already felt nauseous. Warm bath with fragrant oil wasn't actually helpful.

     Draco tried to think about anything pleasant. He had some good and happy memories about his mother, but he knew he would end up in tears again, thinking about her. Thank goodness, he had Severus. He had no one else to turn to and he wasn't sure he'd ever really had. Snape had never pitied him, he had hardly ever showed any sentiments; but he was there for him. Draco felt guilty for not trusting him in his sixth year, though the man had never given him any reason to mistrust him before that. Draco had got scared and had refused to take his help or even to listen to him and had been driving himself further and further into the madness. He'd even been angry with him, had snapped at him, acting like a cornered animal, because he'd believed that Severus had acted not as his godfather, but as a Death Eater who had tested Draco's loyalty to the Dark Lord or just gain favour with him. When he'd been told the truth he'd felt utterly ashamed of himself, but relieved at the same time. And he'd felt guilty, too. Because of him Severus had killed Dumbledore and it had had nothing to do with the Unbreakable Vow the man had given to Draco's mother. He'd just refused to allow his godson to become a murderer. Of course, there had been more and Dumbledore had played his part in his own death, too, but it hadn't made Draco stop blaming himself. He wondered why Severus himself had never blamed him openly. Perhaps, that was because Snape had made his choice and that was the only choice he'd had due to the circumstances.

'Yes, he has done so much for me, and now I gave him another reason to bother. Lovesick and pregnant godson isn't something anyone really wants,' he sighed to himself, sitting in the armchair after taking a bath.

     He remembered the time when he'd been a child. He remembered the way he'd been tugging Snape's sleeve to attract his attention when the man had visited them. When Lucius had been away, Draco had always reached his little hands up to make his godfather take him in his arms. Lucius, of course, would have disapproved such a display of a sentiment from his son, but he'd been away and Draco's mysterious godfather would have never betrayed his demeanour to the older Malfoy. Little Draco had known that the man had been capable of keeping secrets; they all had been kept safe behind the black eyes, even safer than behind any magical wards. He'd been sure that Severus had a lot of secrets of other people and his own, but no matter how long he had been looking into the blackness of his eyes, none of them had been given away, so Draco had known that he had a trustworthy person by his side, and quite intriguing, too. He had felt strength in his every word and gesture. In part that was the reason the boy had been so attracted to a man. The other part was some warmth directed at him even if Severus had remained seemingly cold. And Draco had thought that, perhaps, he'd been the only person, who could feel that warmth. That fact had been making him feel special and important, and he'd even thought that if Severus would have decided to have his own family and children, he would have felt jealous of a man and even betrayed, no matter how selfish the thought was. Several times he had visited his godfather as well, though not as many times as he would have preferred, and for hours he could sit and watch him brewing potions until he had fallen asleep with his small head resting on the table. Or he could play with Severus' black cat, which sometimes hadn't been in the mood for playing and scratched his hands, making him run to the man in tears. Crying was something he hadn't been allowed at home. And then he'd been gaining the man's attention, silent care and the familiar warmth. Not that it had been necessary to hurt himself to gain it. The blond boy had been so little back then.

'Well... I can still watch him brewing for hours and, it appears, I still run to him in tears sometimes. Some things never change,' he thought, slightly amused. It was good to have someone he could trust with his life.

     He was released from his lessons for this day by the official letter, as usually, and he had some time to collect himself. He even risked and ate something to avoid the possible fainting, but ended up vomiting, despite of the potion. The second try after waiting for about an hour was much more successful. This day was some kind of a turning point for him, and, when Severus came after him, Draco's heart already started to beat faster in apprehension.

     They were walking through the corridors of the Ministry, heading to the office, which was the same every month. Draco was walking slowly; his fear became overwhelming and almost paralyzing. The same fear... Very similar fear he had felt when Voldemort had proclaimed him to be a traitor or even before that. That had entailed his captivity, endless tortures and his mother's death. And now he had this frightening anticipation again, even if it was an exaggeration. He tried his best to ignore the foreboding of evil, but that seemed impossible. This time it wasn't only himself he was concerned about. He'd got his godfather involved in his troubles once again. And, to his surprise, he realised that he was also scared for the little life inside of him. He felt nauseous. Severus could practically sense the fear in the air around the boy, like an aura. He put his hand on his shoulder to stop him and Draco stopped right away. His knees were trembling. He was convinced that the interrogation would certainly end badly for him, when the interrogators would see him in such state. He started to calculate the possible outcomes of the meeting. At the best, they would hold him up to ridicule, make his secret public, especially knowing who had banged him up. In that case, Harry would find out, too. Draco turned to Severus, allowing him to see his pale and miserable face. Snape wasn't glad at all, seeing the depressed and very vulnerable boy, who'd almost given up beforehand, and was trying to prepare himself to the dire consequences. He felt very much like leading Draco to the execution. He didn't want to think about the failure, but internally decided that if anything would go wrong, he would throw all his efforts into Draco's and his unborn child's defence, even if that would mean becoming an outlaw.

"We still have a little more than twenty five minutes for you to collect yourself," he stated. As much as Draco liked 'we', which made him feel that he wasn't alone in this, he was feeling worse and worse.

"I need to use the lavatory," he almost whispered. Snape nodded.

    Once Draco entered the lavatory, he coughed and started to vomit. His body was getting rid of the Calming Draught (which wasn't very calming right now anyway), the potion that was supposed to block the effect of the Veritaserum and, ironically enough, the potion that was meant to ease the nausea. Draco tried his best to control his frazzled nerves and to cease the panic attack. But, instead, he started to feel claustrophobic and disoriented. He was hyperventilating and was truly afraid to choke on his vomit. Once he stopped vomiting, he rinsed his mouth and drank some water. Trying to even his breathing, he washed his face with cold water. He seriously started to think of an option of running away and hiding.

"I can't..." he sighed, finally going out. He felt bad, really bad.

"You have to go through this, Draco. Don't make them suspicious, delaying the meeting for another day. You're probably going to have months of this ahead of you, and you have to learn to cope with it since today."

"I know... I don't feel well. I need all three potions again and I've left them in my room," Draco said, slightly embarrassed that he hadn't foreseen such possibility.

"I have them," Severus sighed. He hadn't trusted Draco to be prudent and reasonable in such nervous state.

"You do?" the boy livened up a little.

"Here..." Snape retrieved three small vials from the inner pocket of his robes and showed his godson to the nearest bench. "Sit and try to calm down."

     They sat down on the bench. Draco drank potions one by one, making small breaks between taking them.

"Thank you," the blond whispered and closed his eyes, leaning his back against the wall. "I hope you have more. I feel so poorly..." He coughed and pressed a hand to his mouth, feeling the urge to throw up again. Snape spelled the translucent, barely visible hand fan that started to wave back and forth in front of Draco's face to refresh it.

"Try to relax, breathe and remember what we discussed yesterday," Severus said. At first Draco's nausea aggravated, because his empty stomach had got something it could reject, but then Draco felt a little better, enjoying the cooling air flow on his skin, so he started to talk:

"I shouldn't touch my hair and face during the conversation. I shouldn't draw my eyes aside. I have to look right in front of me. If I look in the eyes, I should look without challenge, but with confidence. I should not answer too quickly, but also I shouldn't consider the answers for too long. I shouldn't raise my voice no matter what. I have to keep my demeanour neutral. I should tell the truth, unless the questions will touch upon my health and personal changes of my life. When such questions will be asked, I have to remember my answers carefully not to draw myself into a trap, in case they rephrase those questions later. I should breathe steadily and calmly." Draco inhaled deeply.

"There's nothing you wouldn't handle," the older man assured. "You've seen those people so many times that you should be able to wrap them around your finger easily. You know them, you know what questions they are going to ask you; to the best of my belief, the questions are similar time after time. You know how to act, so your demeanour wouldn't differ from your previous conversations with them. We have already premeditated all the possibilities. And I was always convinced that you do have a potential of a man, capable of manipulating the other people when you have a motivation and when the situation requires it. And don't forget that your interrogators would hardly waste more time on you than it's necessary. First months they were attentive and studied your every gesture and every answer, but now they don't expect to hear and see anything they haven't heard and seen before. Potter was an exception. Don't forget that you have a substantial advantage over them, - they will be convinced that you're under the effect of Veritaserum, and they will relay on its effect more than on their own attention. I've never had any doubts that the Ministry is the nest of the incompetence and stupidity, and I'm sure that your interrogators do not differ from the other fools. There's no ground for panic."

     The words were indeed very encouraging. Yes, Severus knew the right approach to his godson. Draco, though he'd often seemed to be well-opinionated person, had hardly ever received praise or obtained the sincere acceptance. For Lucius he had never been good enough and his mother had been neutral most of the time with all her love to her son, though he'd always felt that she'd been proud of him, no matter what, and her son was the best. The other people had been flattering him with the hope of receiving something from him because of the influence his family had had. Of course, Draco had had his devotees before, and those people had been looking at him with admiration, but the blond Slytherin had never thought highly of their opinion, because those people had never meant much to him and there still had been a possibility that they had seen the Malfoy's name behind all of his achievements.

     And Severus meant much to him, as well as his point of view. Snape knew well enough that the boy needed the approval of the people he cared about, even if he hardly ever showed it. And Draco knew that his godfather's voice could work miracles. Sometimes it could make others drip with cold sweat and run like hell from the 'evil teacher' and sometimes it could make people lower their psychological defence, calm down and obey. For Draco it had always been a mystery, since the voice could sound almost similar in both cases, but Snape often contrived to get the desirable results. It had something to do with undertones and tinges of the voice and that was enough. For example, he had never told Draco that he loved him as if he was his son, but Draco always felt it, at least, subconsciously, and he liked to think that way. The boy had once joked that his godfather was capable of convincing people to commit mass suicide, using the velvet voice, if he wanted them to. It was exaggeration, of course, though he had been sure somehow that he hadn't been far from the truth. After all, this man had managed to fool the damned Dark Lord for a long time! Draco knew that the price had been high, but that didn't detract from his merit.

     Draco actually smiled at his thoughts. He felt warm and more determined after Severus' words (and after hearing his confident voice, of course) and the man finally saw a spark in the boy's eyes, which was a good sign. 'Gods, I should stop thinking like a little child,' Draco thought and shook his head.

     The hand fan disappeared and they got up. On the way to the room Draco mentally counted to thirty and back, not letting himself become anxious again. When they reached the room, Severus simply nodded supportively. Draco took a deep breath. He knew that one of two of his interrogators was an Auror and a skilful mediwizard as well. If Draco fainted during the interrogation, the man would examine him to find out what was wrong, Severus wouldn't be there to stop him and Draco wouldn't even present to witness his own failure, being unconscious. He tried to clear his mind from such frightening thoughts and entered. Severus followed him with his eyes. He wasn't allowed to go inside. This was motivated by the interrogators' conviction that he could somehow influence the process. They had strong reasons though.

     He was waiting for Draco outside the room just like he'd been doing since the very first time. Almost every time his godson had gone out, he had been looking humiliated and depressed, and Snape had never insisted on the discussion of what had been happening behind the closed doors of the room. He knew that the questions were uncomfortable and unethical, making Draco remember things he tried to forget and leave behind. Recently, however, Draco had started to take it easier and had considered those monthly visits only as an inevitable duty. He had started to resign to it, so the last months' visits had passed without incidents. Except one time when the boy had gone out with the blood on his badly bitten lips and tongue. He had obviously tried to hold back his relationship with Potter or just his feelings towards the Gryffindor. Severus hadn't known for sure if they had been 'just friends' or there had already been something more between them back then. Anyway, Draco's desperate attempt to hide it, had failed under the effect of the truth potion.

     Nevertheless, today was totally different and Severus sincerely hoped that Draco wouldn't succumb to panic.

     Draco was dismissed after half of an hour. Usually the interrogations lasted for an hour or so. Severus looked at the boy carefully, but Draco didn't give him any time to analyze his expression or ask questions, he approached and held him tight. Actually, he was holding him like a lifeline. Just when Severus suspected the worst, he heard a sigh of relief against his shoulder. And when he held Draco in return, he heard a quiet whimper. Snape lifted boy's face by the chin and looked at him. He saw tears of relief and a small sad smile.

"It worked. They suspect nothing. You have no idea how much it means to me," he sighed. "Please, let's get out of here."

     He didn't have to ask twice. When they returned into the castle, Severus brewed him some peppermint tea and Draco felt much better after drinking it.

     And then Draco was suffering from the withdrawal because of his long-time abuse of the Deep Sleep potion. It was very hard for him. His addiction wasn't really physical (the potion itself wasn't habit-forming), it was psychological. He'd just developed a habit, had simply got used to fall asleep, knowing that nothing would trouble him. And now he started to fall asleep with anxiety. Almost every day he begged Severus to give it to him 'one last time and never again', 'just tonight, I swear'; he asked for a slow and gradual reduction in dose, but the man was unyielding. Every time he reminded Draco about his condition or simply gave him a look of disapproval and a frown. It was enough to make the boy stop cadging and pleading. Draco was angry with himself for his own weakness; he was pathetic! Severus also forbade him to take any ingredients from the school stocks or his own. He simply warded them. If Draco needed something, for example, for his studying, he had to ask permission and take it from his godfather's hands and there was no other way to get it. Draco knew the control was necessary. Some nights he couldn't sleep at all, because he was simply unaccustomed to fall asleep without using a strong hypnotic, or his sleep was disturbing. As a result he felt depressed and sleepy at days, so he could hardly pay attention to professors during the lessons. Severus, of course, noticed it and took pity on him, realising that depriving Draco of his potions abruptly was more harmful than he'd thought. He started to give him a mild version of Dreamless Sleep potion and equally mild Sleeping Draught that weren't harmful for the boy and his child. Since then Draco could finally sleep. He saw some dreams, but they were so dim that he couldn't remember anything in the morning. He was surprised and thankful that it had effect on him at all after much stronger potions. He sometimes was still sleepy, but that was his pregnancy to blame. Speaking of pregnancy, Draco still intended to find out why it had happened to him.

"I can't ascertain the cause of your condition. It can not be something you were born with. Apparently, the reason is magical, not physiological," Severus drawled thoughtfully after another examination.

"Severus, I have no idea what exactly am I looking for and where," Draco sighed.

"I suppose, you should start with the Manor, while I'll be studying all the available books."

"How am I going to get in there? The Manor is sealed and I have tracking spells on me."

"This is something I can help you with."

"Really?" Draco gave him a surprised smile.

"I would have hardly survived as a spy for so long if I had no particular skills, don't you think?"

"Right. I should stop being surprised."

"And besides, the wards, they have sustained, are much weaker than those that protected the Manor for centuries. I suggest we start tomorrow."

     The next day after lessons Draco had some time for his research. However, Severus insisted that the boy shouldn't stay in the Manor for more than three hours. Draco's wand was left in Severus' study after the ritual that temporary allowed deceiving all the tracking spells. They apparated to the Manor and Severus carefully led them through the wards, so they wouldn't alarm the Aurors. Once they entered the house, the man gave Draco his own wand (not very suitable for Draco, but it was still better than nothing), but asked him not to use magic without serious reasons. He promised to return for him in three hours and left.

     For almost half of an hour already Draco was searching through the house. He still didn't know what he was looking for. He wondered if his parents had known that their son had the ability to get pregnant. Not likely. If Lucius had known, he would have repudiated Draco much sooner. 'Oh, he would have hated me for this. Not that he ever loved me... What if he knew and it was another reason to consider me a disgrace?' No, he doubted that...

     He looked through the family library in passing, checked all the books that had no titles on their backs. And then he headed to Narcissa's rooms. She had her own study. He checked all her notes and diaries. There was nothing special in them. He also found his own old medical papers and read them carefully, hoping to find anything useful. But he didn't find any answers. Severus was right: the reason wasn't physiological. 'I wasn't some kind of a freak. I was born as a normal boy. The healers would have found out if I had any anomalies. Unless they were bribed to keep silence,' he mused, but decided that he wasn't making sense in his suppositions. Pomfrey gave the medical check-ups to all the students every year, and she was hardly a person to bribe and make her falsify the papers. However, he couldn't be sure about anything at all. But something deep inside of him prompted that he wasn't looking in the right place. But where else? Absorbed in his thoughts, he was pacing the Manor, attracting the eyes of his ancestors on the portraits. They were silent, but watched him fixedly, and Draco felt a little uncomfortable because of it.

     It was so awkwardly silent and gloomy in the place that had used to be his home. He had a lot of nostalgic memories, good memories. But many were bad, some were terrible. The emotions were conflicting. He couldn't help, but go to his own rooms. Everything looked untouched. He knew, the Manor had been searched backwards and forwards, every single object had been scrutinised, but, at least, the Aurors hadn't left the mess behind them. For some time he was sitting at the desk in his study and looked through his big collection of coins from both worlds. He had collected them in boxes made of obsidian. Each box contained coins of the different ages. Many coins were very ancient. He even had the ancient Chinese coins made in odd, but interesting shapes. This pastime helped him to relax. He hardly missed the Manor itself, but he missed some of his things. But most of all, he missed his mother... It felt strange to come back to that place, knowing that she wasn't there any longer.

     When Severus returned, Draco took some photographs of her with him before they left.

"I haven't found anything. But, then again, I don't know what I'm looking for," he said, when they returned to Severus' chambers.

"I see. Allow me to look through your memories. We need to know if any magical rituals, that could be responsible for your condition, have ever taken place" Snape offered.

"But I don't remember anything like that." Draco shook his head.

"What if you were too young to understand what was happening?"

"Don't you think it was some... cruel accident?"

"I don't believe in such 'accidents'," Severus said with slight frown.

"Fine," the blond agreed.

     After almost an hour of looking through Draco's memories, Severus gave up. He hadn't even found any signs that Draco had ever been obliviated, though he could have hardly found any if something like that had been done by a very skilful person to cover their deeds.

"No, nothing," he said, shaking his head.

"What if it's not about me? Could Potter be the reason?" Draco suggested, wincing because of the headache, even though the intrusion in his mind had been very careful.

"I don't think so, even if he was very diligent and exceptionally fertile," Severus replied with sarcasm. Draco blushed and cleared his throat.

"I want to go back to the Manor tomorrow," he said.

"Very well. But now go have some sleep. Don't forget your new healing potions."

"Thank you for everything. What would I do without you?" the blond said sincerely. Severus just waved him away. Draco chuckled softly at that and left, taking several vials with him.



     Draco was searching through the Manor again. He was getting deeper and deeper into the doubts that there was any chance to find anything at all. Finally he reached Lucius' study; the place he'd never liked, and started to look through all the papers and letters he found there. It took more than an hour, but there was nothing interesting. But then he found a strange letter that really confused him:

'Lucius,

You can not be sure that the Dark Lord will accept your gift and your family will be honoured with the continuation of His life in a new body even if He considers such possibility, but not before accomplishing a new order. And your son still hasn't shown himself worthy, however, he's only fifteen years old. I understand what you're trying to achieve: you want your family to be the most respected in a new world. As a true follower, you must be prepared, since the gods haven't granted you a daughter, if you don't want the other followers with daughters to outstrip you. But even if you will be prepared, there's no guarantee.'

     The letter wasn't signed. Draco felt a lump in his throat. 'What the hell does it mean? '...His life in a new body...' Lucius wanted to give my body to Voldemort or... Oh, Gods, no! No, no, no!'

     His hands were shaking when he was giving the letter to Severus. The man could hardly say anything when he'd finished reading it. It hadn't been a secret that Lucius had been preparing his son to make him another follower, a Death Eater, but Snape had had no idea that there was much more behind it. He also knew that Voldemort had probably desired to have a new, more human body, but it had never been his obsession. It had been mentioned only once without discussing the ways of achieving it. But, of course, Severus couldn't know everything. For Lucius it had obviously become an idée fixe. Severus didn't recognise the handwriting, but it apparently belonged to a woman. Merlin knew, who had been Lucius consulting with.

"So, he made me a sack for carrying a... a thing that had to become the next body for Voldemort. Severus, he disfigured and ruined all my life, but now that he's dead, it seems, he keeps doing it right from his grave! He wasn't even taking me for a human being! All my life he was drumming into my head the things about the blood purity and then... I know, he was a fanatic, but that was extreme! Bastard!" Draco exploded with anger. He was pacing the room nervously. He'd been supposed to become an offering to the monster... Lucius would have laid his only son under a maniac just to prove his loyalty.

"I can only suppose that he systematically poured something into your food or drinks, probably, during your holidays," the older man said thoughtfully, ignoring Draco's outburst. "Your body wasn't reacting in an obvious way. I examined you on several occasions, as you know, but I've never noticed anything unusual. It makes me think that all the changes came into force simultaneously with the conception or just before it. It's impossible to know for sure now. Did you feel anything... unusual?"

"No..." the blond replied. His voice was trembling. "Just great. He turned me into a freak." They were speechless for a few moments. "I want to ask you something... Do you think my mother knew about it? It's important for me to know," he said quietly. He felt so betrayed, that he didn't know what to think anymore. Thinking that his mother had been somehow involved in this madness was unbearable.

"I think, no. She would have hardly allowed that to happen if she knew. And even if she would have failed to prevent it, she would have found a way to warn you," Severus answered. He couldn't be sure, but he truly believed in what he was saying, and Draco needed it.

"Thank you..." the boy whispered and left.

     In his room he tried his best to calm down. He felt dirty even thinking about the possibility of being thrown in the hands of a monster to be raped (because there was no way he would have agreed to it willingly), and then to carry an abomination. He wasn't sure he would have kept any sanity after something like that. No, he would have done anything to kill it, even if that meant killing himself in the process. The other possibility of getting pregnant had been that bastard, who had tried to rape Draco, forcing him to look into Narcissa's dead eyes while he had been pawing her crying son. Thank goodness, the bastard had been stopped, and even if he hadn't been stopped, Draco wouldn't have been able to carry the child back then due to the state of his health. Perhaps, both Draco and the child would have been dead later. Not that the conception had been guaranteed at all; he wasn't sure he'd got pregnant after the very first time with Harry. He didn't know (and he didn't want to know).

     He washed his face with cold water and made another attempt to calm down, taking control over his breathing. And then he pressed a palm to his stomach. It was the first time he was doing it consciously. There, behind his skin, behind his muscles, inside of him... He looked down.

"You're not an abomination..." he sighed, still keeping his hand on his lower abdomen. "I still don't know if I want you; I don't think I do. But I don't hate you. It's not your fault that my father was a bastard and a monster, and it's not your fault that your both fathers are complete morons. We are not very lucky, are we?" He chuckled bitterly.

     Draco was spending his day off in a Potions classroom, preparing the ingredients for the brewing; he sorted out what had to be sorted out, powdered what had to be powdered, distilled what had to be distilled and signed the vials, jars and boxes that had no labels. It was easier to view things in a sensible light while he was busy with something that required some concentration, but wasn't difficult at the same time.

     He'd actually planned to let Malfoy's name disappear with him, but the destiny, apparently, had its own plans for him. He already knew that he wouldn't be able to get rid of the little life inside of him. He wasn't sure how he would live with himself if he destroyed it. Would he feel empty or would he feel like a murderer? He definitely didn't want to find out. He just knew that Harry had left a void in his soul and losing a child would only enlarge it. And again, Draco remembered what Severus had said when he'd scanned him with a spell. He often remembered those special words: '...already resembles a human being. I felt its heartbeat...' Perhaps, the man had known how much those words would affect the boy. Perhaps, he had known that Draco would hardly forgive himself for getting rid of the part of himself. But, most likely, Draco just had been given a choice and he'd had to make that choice, being of sound mind and memory, the way he was now. No, Draco was nothing like Lucius. He wouldn't kill his own flesh and blood or betray it in any other way. Probably, this child was the only way for him to have his own family, since he hadn't intended (or wouldn't be able somehow) to have it in a normal, generally accepted way.

     With all these thoughts he hadn't even noticed Severus when the man had entered the classroom.

"You haven't left anything for today's detentions," he said. Draco flinched slightly, but then smiled.

"But today is Saturday," he reminded.

"Yes, but I still have students in detention."

Draco smiled again, but then became serious: "I want to discuss something with you."

"Very well," Severus nodded and sat down on the chair. The boy followed his example and sat down in front of him.

"I've come to the decision," Draco started. Somehow he had the impression that his godfather already knew what decision he had come to.

"And?" the man asked, nevertheless.

"I want to keep this child."

"I see. If I may ask, what influenced your decision?" Severus drawled.

"Your words after you examined me and saw a child. And the other thing... I've just tried to view this situation from a new perspective. What do you think?"

"I think it's good that you finally know what to do."

"But I need your help."

"You have it."

"Thank you. I'm really sorry that I burden you with it," the blond Slytherin sighed. "May I ask you something?"

"By all means," the man nodded.

"I expected you to disapprove my relationship with Potter. But you knew everything and never reproached me. You never even said a word about it when we were... together," Draco said, lowering his eyes. Mostly he asked it out of curiosity, but also because he thought that maybe, just maybe, some answers would help him to understand the reason of what had happened. Severus didn't really like Harry, and he could have made, at least, some scornful comment, knowing that they'd been together, when they'd actually been together, even though it was none of his business; but he'd made no sign that he'd even known. Of course, Snape had known about their rendezvous. He also knew that Draco had been happy with Potter. The boy hadn't been that happy for a very long time.

"I do not say, I approved it, but certainly it wasn't my place to disapprove it either. Have I ever intervened in your personal life? If that would have put your life in danger, I believe, I would have intervened; otherwise it was none of my concern. Quite frankly, I expected you to get together sooner."

"What do you mean?" the blond asked inquisitively.

"It just seemed logical, in some ways. If my memory serves me correctly, there were always strong emotions between two of you. And, as I already said, I'm not blind. I'm not quite sure about him; what of you, you claimed to hate him, but there were some discords in your actions. When you truly hate, you act colder and wiser. What do you want me to say? That you were trying to hurt him, at least, verbally, not quite with the true purpose to hurt him, but to make him react?"

"I realised it only this year... So you think feelings are logical? Why did he really leave me then?"

"I said they are logical, but I didn't say they are predictable. Circumstances, other people; anything could have influenced. I don't know how to answer your question. I'm not quite the right person for such conversations."

"But you're a good observer. Thank you. I just wanted to know your opinion," Draco thanked quietly. He wondered why he was still trying to find an excuse for Harry. It was simple: Harry had left, because he'd never really felt anything towards Draco. Nothing to be surprised at...

     The students entered the classroom to serve their detention, so the blond left.
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To Find The Missing Lifeline