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The Rules of Hogwarts	By : MistressAshley Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 3608 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I make no profit from writing this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Rule 1
- 2-Rule 2
- 3-Rule 3
- 4-Rule 4
- 5-Rule 5
- 6-Rule 6
- 7-Rule 7
- 8-Rule 8
- 9-Rule 9
- 10-Rule 10
- 11-Rule 11
- 12-Rule 12
- 11
- 12
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the title of this one. I make no profit from using either.

AN: So, who recognizes the title? No Google searching! Also, how's everyone doing with the rules at the bottom? Do you like it better or is it worse?

Itchy and Scratchy

Harry gazed from the window high up the stone wall of Hogwarts. It was Yule break and he was stuck at Hogwarts alone; Ron and Hermione both having gone on vacation with their families. He couldn't begrudge them that. It wasn't so bad here as the Headmaster allowed Sirius to come and go as he pleased.

Except tonight was the night of the full moon and Sirius was on his way to the Whomping Willow to be with Remus as the man was forced to change. Harry felt a twinge of pity; it was Christmas eve and Remus was just moments away from a gruesome and horrifyingly painful transformation.

The sun sank below the trees and the moon shown down brightly. Harry imagined he could hear the screams and cries from his high up tower before they changed to terrifying howls and whines. That was silly, of course; he was much too far away from the Willow to be able to hear anything that might be happening within.

The tree stood silent and sill, branches not even budging as the wind whispered around it. The tiny door hidden on the trunk snapped open and a large black dog pulled itself through. It glanced up, solemn gaze finding Harry's window with no trouble and the shaggy tail swished through the air and the mouth opened in a tongue lolling grin before it turned back to the tree.

Another shape was pulling itself from through the door. This one even more massive than the large dog and it seemed to be having trouble getting the muscular shoulders out. The head, while having all the ear marks of a wolf, had a human quality about it that was both terrifying and supremely sad. Except, that it really wasn't sad because the head was now swaying from side to side, snapping at the air as it tried to pull itself free.

Finally, with the help of Padfoot, the wolf tumbled free. Harry had to stifle a giggle, knowing the wolf and dog would hear, as the wolf landed with legs spread over his dog companion. The look on that lupine face was pure befuddlement.

With great care the two animals untangled themselves and the dog bounded towards the forest, turning around every few steps to run circles around the wolf. The wolf stopped every few steps, not because of the dog running around it, but to use one long paw to scratch at various places on its body. A few places were unreachable by paw and the body had to be contorted into obscene shapes so the wolf would chomp with sharp teeth at bits of flesh.

Harry raised an eyebrow. Was that how Lupin got all those scars? The green-eyed boy snorted as he remembered the stories Sirius told; stories of how with no one for Moony to bite, the wolf would turn on itself. Harry shook his head; Sirius was either very dim or a great, fat liar! Lupin, or rather Moony, had fleas!

It was perfect. Harry had agonized over what to get Lupin for Yule, finally settling on a silly book that he knew the man was likely never to read.

With this thought in mind, Harry hurried from the room. He had to get to Dumbledore and then to Diagon Alley before the shops closed. They would only be open for another hour to give last minute shoppers a chance to check everyone off their lists.

Sadly, the shops in Diagon Alley had not what he was looking for. Though Harry shouldn't be so surprised; if they had what he wanted Remus wouldn't need it as a present, would he?

It took a short trip into the Muggle world, but Harry returned to the castle victorious.

)()(

Harry sat contentedly before the fire. The feast had been wonderful, the elves overdoing it a bit with the food (seeing as there was only the staff and Sirius, Remus, and Harry to feed). It had been perfect in Harry's opinion; the food was wonderful and the company like a true family Christmas.

Now, here he was settled before the fire in the common room of Sirius and Remus's rooms. There was a much smaller version of the Great Hall trees in the corner with presents piled beneath. Harry's presents from Ron, the Weasley family, and Hermione were there along with those from Sirius and Remus. Harry's presents to the two men were there as well.

Sirius was bouncing around the tree, looking much like his animagus form. "Can we open them now? Can we, can we, can we?"

Remus sighed from his place on the couch. It was the sigh of a man who had put up with this attitude for years, trying all the while to control it, but had finally given in, in defeat. "How 'bout it, Harry? Are you ready for presents?"

Harry covered a smile, forcing his forehead to wrinkle. "I don't know. I'm pretty full and this chair is really comfy. I don't think I can move."

Harry didn't get to go on as a black bullet of fur launched itself at him. Harry tumbled from his chair, scrambling at the floor for purchase as teeth latched onto his pants and began pulling him toward the tree in the corner. "Alright, alright, we'll open presents!" Harry laughed.

It didn't take long to get the presents passed out. Harry soon found himself dressed in the usual Weasley jumper with a grin on his face. A book on Native American shaman was settled beside him (from Hermione, of course, who was on vacation in America with her parents), but it actually looked interesting. Ron's package had been oddly shaped, but it all made sense once Harry opened it and found a tiny glass encased (or was that some type of crystal?) shiny shelled beetle that gleamed hypnotizingly in the firelight. The letter said it was an Egyptian scarab beetle. It was a magical type that was used in horrific punishments for the worst offenders. The beetles would eat anything put before them, so they were encased with the victim. Over the span of weeks or months, depending on how many beetles were used, they would consume the transgressor alive—clothes, jewelry, flesh and bones. Harry caressed the case with a boyish grin, thumb sliding over the smooth glass surface. So cool!

An advanced defense book joined Hermione's book beside Harry from Remus and a mirror from Sirius. According to the animagus, the mirror was Harry's father's—something they used during detentions to communicate. It was something Harry would treasure not just for having been his father's, but because now he would be able to speak to Sirius anytime he wanted, for Sirius still held the other half.

Finally, it came time for the older men to open their presents from Harry. Sirius was currently doggie shaped in an effort to hide his tears. The man had been touched to find a stack of carefully framed photos; one for each of the true Marauders —himself, Remus, James, and Lily, complete with a group shot taken during an Order meeting while Lily was pregnant. Harry could just see the photos hung reverently on the walls of Grimmauld Place, the group shot surrounded by the individual shots. It was all thanks to Dumbledore; Harry really owed the wacky old wizard for tracking them all down.

Last came Remus, who was opening his present at that very moment. A perplexed look crossed his face as he turned the box around and around between his hands. The box showed a picture of a St. Bernard standing beside a large photo of a white collar; the words 'Flea and Tick Collar for large dogs' emblazoned above them. "Harry?"

Harry crossed his arms around his knees as he nibbled his lip. "I was watching you two last night. Remus," Harry paused, unsure how to continue before it just burst out, "you have fleas."

"I—what?" Remus managed while looking utterly confused.

"Fleas. You know, those tiny buggy things that crawl and bite and make you itch? Moony has fleas," Harry explained slowly. Did the wizards not know what fleas were? Did they think because they had magic that their pets … or their werewolves—Merlin, maybe even their animagus forms—were safe? And Voldemort wanted people this dim to rule over the Muggles? "I also picked up another collar for Padfoot. No use killing the ones on you if they're just going to move onto him until the collar stops working. I have some flea powder that you can sprinkle around the Shrieking Shack and some shampoo I want you to use on the nights leading up to the full moon. Think of it like your Wolfsbane, a necessary evil."

"Fleas?" Lupin asked once more, still managing to look completely poleaxed, head cocked to the side like an adorably confused dog.

Harry sighed. This was going to be a long night, and Padfoot certainly wasn't helping snickering like that.

End

Rule 12: I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.
- 11
- 12
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The Rules of Hogwarts