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Punishment	By : Holly Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Fenrir Views: 91201 -:- Recommendations : 6 -:- Currently Reading : 23
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated characters belong the JK Rowling. I do not make any money from this work

Chapter List
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A/N I am sorry I have been so long. I really only expected this to take an extra week but i have not been myself lately and I need a little time off. I would like to thank everyone for their understanding and their well wishes, I had a wonderful anniversary! There are a couple of things that I have to say. Firstly I have had a fingers well and truly slapped by the mods for my Author’s note chapter and no matter how much I have pointed out that it is the most efficient way of informing readers of delays etc I am going to have to find another way to talk to my readers when I don’t have a chapter to post. I have created a discussion topic on the AFF board which I will use to communicate any problems I have with posting on time. The link is http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/25805-harryfenir-punishment-by-lady-allylandra/. Anyone who wants to know anything about the story please subscribe. Also There have been a few complaints about grammar, rewrites and my weird little Maya he/she problem. I know that constant rewrites are annoying but I keep on coming across problems with the story that I have to go back and correct! I had this great plan on where this story was going but I have written myself into a corner and have had to change my entire plan. I am not sure that is a bad thing but still... I am going to go back and redo bits to make sure they all lead towards what is going to now happen, correct any mistakes, and hopefully I will be able to leave completed chapters well alone after that! Also any grammar or he/she errors either leave a review and tell me where they are, because I honestly thought I had caught them all, or post them in the discussion forum and I will make sure they are corrected. Well sorry for the long Author’s Note and now on with the Story!

He was cold. It was the only thing he knew, the cold. Everything around him was dark and silent, like he was stuck in a hole, except he couldn't feel the ground beneath his feet. The world was bland and void, nothing, no touch, no smell, just endless nothing. Nothing but the cold. Suddenly a small warmth penetrated through the veil of cold, like a speck of light in the blackest of nights. It was tiny, so small that he couldn't grasp hold. All he could do was was stare at it, craving it's warmth. The speck grew slightly until he could almost feel it on his skin. He reached out to it, welcoming it to him, hoping to embrace it, banish the cold. He was knocked back quickly as something else invaded his emptiness. He recoiled, like he had been slapped, and watched as the warmth began to dim. He was not allowed, it wasn't for him. The warmth was for others just like it always had been. Like in his cupboard in the night, when his thin blanket couldn't keep out the chill, or in the night with the resistance when they would push him away after they had finished with him. He was a failure, a freak, and he didn't deserve the warmth but it didn't stop him craving it. The other thing left, leaving his world as empty as it had been before, only now it was worse, knowing that he could never have that spark, there was no end to the cold. He curled up against himself though it gave him no comfort or warmth, just loneliness and emptiness.

"He's shivering." It felt like hours since Fenir had felt that small grasp at his chest. The sub, Harry, had been unresponsive since. If it weren't for the slow, sharp breathing, Fenir would have taken him for dead. Blue had left a little while ago to see to his son and to get some food but Maya had stayed with him, trying to break through to wherever Harry was but there didn't seem to be anything left to break through to.

He gathered up one of the furs Blue had bought in with him. "Let's get him covered up." Maya covered the two of them up, tucking the edges around Harry, to keep in the warmth. Fenir arranged himself, allowing a little circulation back to his legs and then settled Harry again. Maya drew away "You know you can't stay here all night. You need to eat and you have pups to take care of."

Fenir looked down at the sub in his arms, unconsciously tightening his grip. He looked so innocent, so small, like he was just a pup himself. He raised one hand slightly to run it through Harry's soft black hair. He felt lost and torn, he wanted nothing more than than to stay here with his arms wrapped around his mate but there were things to do, he was the Alpha of his pack, a pack that was falling to pieces. He knew he should answer Maya but he couldn't look away from his mate. He was truly beautiful, his eyes shone vivid green, like the wild forest that surrounded and nurtured them, but they were marred by the glassy vacant expression which graced his face. The emotions he had been denying for for six months, everything he had tried to deny, that he had run from, were slowly dissolving the walls he had placed around him, like water running through cracks in rock.

He tried to ignore it, curling around himself to stop himself reaching out for it. It wasn't for him, it would be taken away and the cold would feel even colder. Still it sparkled and beckoned him, teasing him, asking him to let it envelop him, to let it warm his soul. He couldn't let himself give in, such a lovely warmth wasn't for him. For the first time in what felt like hours he felt something other than the cold. He felt the wetness on his cheeks as tears slowly leaked their way from his eyes. Why couldn't, just for once, he be allowed that comfort?

Fenir watched in amazement as the lonely tear rolled down Harry's porcelain face, followed slowly by another on the opposite side. "He's crying." He knew it wasn't the answer Maya was after but it was the only thing running through his mind.

Maya looked back down at Harry again and watched his tears. "I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. It could just be his eyes lubricating themselves. I don't think I have seen him blink in a while."

"What do I do?"

Maya shrugged. "I am just as lost as you. I have seen sub's whose minds have broken before, mostly when their pups died, like Melim, but never anything like this. It is like he is locked inside his own head." Maya paused for a moment. "I'm not sure he is going to be able to find the way back… or if he will even want to."

Fenir looked down in horror at the little sub in his arms. "I didn't know… I didn't think it would be like this. He was just meant to be unhappy, not like this." Fenir's eyes began to well up. He drew his mate's body against his chest, the untameable raven hair brushing his nose and for the first time in many years the Alpha cried.

The warmth engulfed him, there was no running, no hiding, it surrounded and penetrated him. It was like laughter and sunlight, like running through a spring day, like soaring through the air. Fear ate at his gut that soon the joy would be ripped from him but he could no longer stop himself from grabbing that wonderful feeling with both hands. He could still feel the cold gripping at him but he ignored it, instead relishing those few short seconds before the warmth was taken away.

Fenir knew he felt it that time. It was like a death grip on his arm and chest, like someone hanging onto a cliff face for dear life. He pulled his mate in closer, smothering his own face in his hair.

The cold retreated slowly, replaced by the lighter joy, wrapping itself around him like a blanket. His body began to wake, began to feel again. He felt the soft fur around him and then the arms that encircled him. He heard the stilted breathing against his ear and felt the wetness of tears on his neck. His eyes opened, or had they always been open he wasn't sure, but all he saw were blurry shapes, a person in front of him, possibly, the rest was murky darkness. He moved his head slightly, looking for the source of the breathing. Above him he could see the outline on a face, surrounded by long sandy hair. He couldn't make out the features but grey eyes, looked down at him. They were soft eyes, tender and emotive. They drew him in like the warmth had done before, coaxing him forward. This time he didn't fight it, embracing those eyes for as long as he had them, before they were taken away from him. The face reached down towards him, clearing the features until he could make out the the outline of a large irregular nose and straight lips. The lips came in closer until they lightly touched his briefly, like a feather brushing over him, before retreating backwards. Tension lifted from his body leaving it completely void of energy. He watched the eyes for as long as possible until his eyes closed of their own will.

"Harry?" Maya reached out his hand and held it against the sub's cheek. "Harry, are you there?"

Fenir lifted his face slightly to see what had happened. His mate's face slowly moved, dropping away from Maya's touch to turn up at him. Fenir was in awe as the previously glazed eyes looked up at him clear and bright. Their beauty was truly breathtaking, he became lost in their openness and for that moment the world only contained the two of them. Fenir's head moved forwards, closing the small gap between them, to caress his lips. His head moved backwards, locking his eyes with his mate's until he watched Harry's eyes slip closed.

"I can't believe it."

The voice broke through the moment with a sledge hammer, jarring Fenir so much he nearly disturbed the sleeping sub. He turned to face Maya, who was now sitting back on the balls of his feet, his hands hanging limply beside him, his face dumbstruck. Fenir blinked slightly, trying to process the world outside of the moment. "I…" his voice was croaky, he felt like he hadn't spoken in months. He coughed slightly.

Maya stilled him with a hand and passed him a cup of water. "Just take your time." Fenir slipped at the cup with his spare hand, the other still wrapped securely around his mate. "What just happened there, Fenir? Was he awake?"

"Yes. I have never seen… he looked at me and…" Fenir was lost for words to describe the moment he had just been in.

Maya seemed to notice his problem and changed the subject. "We need to get him out of here." He looked at Fenir's blank face. "He can't stay in here. Come on let's get him on to the furs and then we can work out where to go from there." Maya held out his arms to take Harry from him. It only took Fenir a few moments to process what Maya wanted him to do, his clouded mind awakening slowly back to reality. He slowly picked up his mate, laying him out on the outstretched soft furs Blue had bought in and then wrapping him up in the one Maya had placed around the two of them. Moving was difficult, his legs having lost their feeling some time ago but he stood up and stretched out his back.

"I'll take him back to my hut, we should be able to fit another in there." Maya began fussing over the furs, making sure he was covered securely. "I'll get Blue to come in and help us move him without waking him. Are you listening to me, Fenir? He can't stay in here alone." He looked over to the Alpha who was standing in the middle of the room, his face turned down towards the floor. Maya got up to see what was holding his attention. "Fenir? Did you hear…" Maya stopped dead as he saw what Fenir had. The bed, though cleared of the stained furs and fabric, was still covered with blood. It was everywhere, running down the bedstead, staining the wood with red. After the wood had been saturated it had started dripping on to the floor, leaving nothing but a puddle of sickeningly dark liquid to absorb into the ground. Maya covered his mouth in shock at how much blood the small sub had lost. Maya turned to his Alpha to speak only to find he was no longer there. Less than a second later there was an almighty smash.

Without warning Fenir picked up the soiled bed and threw it through the open door, the sides splintering as they hit the doorframe. Maya dived to place his body over Harry to protect him from the projectiles that sprayed the room and by the time he had looked up Fenir was gone. After a quick check to see that Harry was still sleeping peacefully he got up and raced out of the hut, careful avoiding the splinters in the dirt, following the shouts and screams echoing from the darkness.

The village circle was in chaos. It seemed that most of the pack had returned after being dismissed to retrieve the now cooked boar for dinner. Several of the logs which the pack used to sit had been thrown out of the circle, plates of food lay upside down in the dirt, thrown aside. Maya ran towards the shouting coming from a small clearing at the edge of the forest.

The pack had formed a semi circle around Fenir and Han. The two wolves were squaring up to take another lunge at each other. The bruises and cuts on Han's face and body showed that he was coming out worst from the fight but the Alpha was showing a few scratches of his own. Han was panting heavily and was trying to wipe away some blood dripping from a slash on his eyebrow as it obscured his vision.

"What happened?!" Maya cried out to Elouise, who was closest to her in the crowd.

"I have no idea! The Alpha just came at him! There was an terrible crash and then he stalked into the circle, picked up Han and just started hitting him! It was awful! Why is he doing this, Maya?"

"Because Han is a good person to blame for what he just saw in there. That's why."

"Was it really that bad?" Maya nodded, keeping his eyes on the warring doms. They were circling each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Elouise's hand went to her mouth trying to hold in her emotions. "How did it get to this, Maya? It was just meant to be a punishment, I didn't think it would be like this." Fenir's back started to arch and his shoulder's tensed ready to pounce. Han's body readied itself for the attack, baring his teeth.

"I have feeling things are going to change around here soon. Let's just say that our Alpha had a dose of reality and what it is like to be a true slave to your instincts." The attack came as both of the wolves pounced at the same time. Fenir slashed his claws across Han's belly, slicing him cleanly, as Han tried to get his hands around the Alpha's massive throat. Fenir pushed him to the ground and knelt over him, one knee pinning Han's shoulder to the ground. His fist's came down in the flurry, battering the younger dom's face, until he was a mess of bruises and cuts.

Maya ran forward. "You have to stop! You'll kill him!" Maya's words shook the other doms into action. Ram and Claw ran forward and held his arms, pulling him backwards whilst Maya pulled Han out from under him and towards the other wolves before rushing off to his hut to collect his kit. Fenir was pinned to the floor, thrashing against his captors, his mouth foaming with rage. Blue, French and Nero joined in the struggle to keep him down until his anger subsided. Maya returned quickly and deposited his bag down by Han before grabbing a vile.

"Let me up you cowards! I will kill him! Let me up!" Blue and French held his mouth open, trying to avoid loosing their fingers, as Maya poured the sedative in. The doms continued to hold him tightly until his body began to still. "You don't understand" his voice became weaker "he tried to kill my mate!" He drifted slowly into unconsciousness.

He slowly opened his eyes, his head felt groggy and protested loudly as he attempted to move it.

"You're awake." Fenir groaned and tried to get up again. "I would suggest that you stay lying down" he closed his eyes again and dragged his body upwards until he was sat upright, leaning against the wall. "but I know you would just ignore me." Fenir struggled to open his eyes again but this time managed a squint. Maya was in front of him, his arms crossed.

"What happened? I feel like shit." Fenir's voice was raspy and strained.

"I gave you a sedative. If I hadn't we would be down a dominate and you would be a murderer."

Fenir hung his head. "I… Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"How is he?"

"Han is in my hut recovering. You broke a couple of ribs and his nose. All in all he should be fine in a few days if he stays in bed, which he won't."

Fenir nodded his head and regretting it. "What about Harry?"

"So he's Harry now? He is currently asleep in Lemmy's hut, I decided it was best to keep the pups close to him, I thought it might bring him round. If you keep up like this I am going to need a hospital." Maya gave a little laugh. "Just a warning, Namile is having a fit over me taking charge."

Fenir gave his own small laugh, leaning his head backwards. His body was exhausted, pure will keeping him awake. "You did the right thing. Things cannot go on like this."

"No they can't. What were you thinking, Fenir? That this would somehow make things all better again?"

Fenir remained quiet for a moment before laughing a little again. "You know what? I don't think I was thinking at all. I have always followed my instincts before but this was something different, like they took me over. I think it has been like this for months, like my brain is in a fog and all I can do is feel my way out. What am I going to do, Maya? I have broken everything and I have no clue how to out them all back together again?"

Maya looked away for a moment. "Get some sleep, it is late. Your problems will still be there in the morning and you will have a much clearer head." He ducked out of the flap door. Fenir let the exhaustion finally overwhelm him and he fell into a natural sleep.

The sun had barely risen when Fenir awoke again. It lazily drifted through the small opening that served as a window, bringing with it a fresh chill which reached into Fenir’s bones. Maya was sleeping on a fur on the other side of the hut, shivering slightly against the icy breeze. Fenir sat up and stretched out his back, feeling his muscles protest at the position he had slept in. He slowly filled his lungs with the crispy air that filtered through. The world around him smelt wonderful, the way only only a forest can in winter, making him feel whole again. He slowly crept to stand, careful not to disturb the sleeping healer, before picking up the fur he had been sleeping on and using it to protect Maya from the cold.

He moved slowly out of the hut, continually flexing and stretching out his cramped muscles. The world around him was silent, the slight breeze only making the wispy leaves rustle slightly. He walked calmly through the village, enjoying the peace for the moment he had it. He passed the hut of Ram and Tempar and bent down to pick up a cup and dip it in the water bucket. He broke through the thin sheet of ice which covered the water and retrieved a cup. He stood up and poured the bitterly cold water over his head, shocking the sleepy fog from his brain and bringing him completely into the waking world. A raspy laugh caught his attention and he moved to investigate, dropping the cup beside the bucket.

“Decided to join us then?” Evan again let out his gravely laugh before taking a slip from the heated drink in this hand. Fenir gave a small smile and walked over quickly to join his old friend. He sat down as Evan prepared a second drink for him. He took it with a small nodd of appreciation. “You’re welcome.”

“You’re up early.” Fenir observed as he took his first sip of the strong beverage in his hand.

“I like sit out before the others. Enjoy the freshness of the morning.” Fenir nodded, fully understanding his want to bask in this crisp morning. They sat in silence for a moment, both wolves enjoying the silence whilst slowly sipping their drinks. Evan was the first the break the tranquility. “So what are you going to do?”

Fenir bowed his head, not wanting to think about the mess he was currently in. He shook his head and let out a small laugh. “I have no idea. I have a pack at war with itself, two pups which can’t be moved from each other and a mate... I wasn’t even meant to have a mate, Evan!” Fenir placed his head in his hands. “What happened? It was all meant to be so easy. He was just meant to be a breeder, nothing but a pretty thing with a strong aura. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Why is he my mate?” Evan watched his Alpha for a moment. He looked more in control that the night before but he was slowly loosing it.

“We always forget how young you are.” Fenir lifted his head to listen to the soft spoken dominant. “There is so much you have to learn about being a wolf.”

“I am not that young. I have led our species to victory in a war for our lives. I can hardly be called a child.”

Evan gave a small laugh. “Oh yes, my Alpha. You have led us through the bad times, through war and death, bringing us out to victory. You were an amazing Alpha during the war and we have a lot to thank you for but it is very different to be an Alpha during peace than war.” Evan took a quick sip and Fenir waited for him to continue. “You are an amazing man Fenir. When your father, Alpha Rampier, died you took over our pack with a strength no one expected of one so young, so much so that we forgot that you hadn’t even reached your maturity.” He paused again, he seemed to be musing to himself rather than talking to Fenir. “There is so much more to being a wolf than just hunting just as there is more to us than just the change. Do you think that our mating traditions are just our culture?” Evan looked directly at the Alpha. “Do you think submissives are so precious just because they are so few?”

Fenir shook his head. “I know they are the softer side of us, caring, nurturing. They are special, especially to those of us born as wolves.”

Evan gave his dry laugh again. “And there is your problem. Subs are more then just mothers and cooks, more than just a soft bed warmer, they are us, our hearts, our souls, the very best of us and the very worst.” Evan paused again to make sure he had Fenir’s complete attention. “You always remember the first time you see your mate. Elouise and I grew up together, played together all our lives, and even though we had been together forever I can still remember that first time she was more than just another pup, when I knew I had to have her, that she was mine.” Evan laughed a little again. “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of competition, your father for one, but back then I knew I would win because I had to. It was a hard fight, I wooed her, gave her gifts and presents, made promises of devotion but nothing put me a head of the others. Then one day Rampier gave her this stone he had found, it shone like the sun, reflecting her beautiful face like glass. Her eyes lit up and she gave him the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It was in that moment I realised that I could loose her, that she wasn’t mine, I was hers. The next day I took her aside and told her everything I felt for her, how much I cared for her, how I would go to the ends of the earth for her and that even though I would never be an Alpha like Rampier, I would live every day just to be everything she could ever want from a mate.” Evan seemed to have gone off into his memories, drifting away in a small sea of happiness.

“Evan?”

Evan shook himself from his day dream and gave Fenir a wide smile. “Sorry, I was somewhere else. So that was how I won my mate. Of course, it could have been something to do with your mother reaching his maturity but I prefer to think it was my amazing charm.” Evan puffed out his chest comically and held his chin up before chuckling. “The point is, Fenir, that we don’t pick our mates, not consciously at any rate You can run after every pretty young thing you see, maybe even get a roll in or two, but there will only ever be one sub for you and your instincts will show you the way. Of course after your instincts have told you what to do it is your mate that will show you the right way to go about it! and they will continue to tell you what to do for the rest of your life and you will love every moment of it.” Evan gave another small smile and took another gulp of his drink.

Fenir was in awe. He had never heard anyone share such a personal thing before. Of course he remembered Namile and Claw’s courtship. How Namile had wanted him to court her to the point that Ram had started a huge fight with him to gain her attention. It had been rather funny to him at the time but now he saw it in a new light. He saw his own desperation for Harry, when he had first saw him, saw how he had manipulated his pack and his won mind to find a way to keep him, saw the tenderness with which he had made love to his mate once there was no way anyone else could take him away.

Fenir’s throat began to close up. “Why... why did no one tell me about this?”

Evan just gave him a small smile. “It’s not the type of thing people like to point out and like I said before it is easy to forget just how young you are.” Evan placed his hand comfortingly on Fenir’s shoulder. “Look by the time you reached your maturity your father had been murdered, you were Alpha of a half destroyed pack and we were knee deep in Aurors trying to kill the rest of us. There wasn’t time for you to work out the finer points of inter-wolf relations.”

“What about afterwards, when I decided to take the Sub? Why did no one say anything then?”

“You seemed so sure of yourself and, I am ashamed to say, we have all become used to accepting what you have to say without question. It is not like you talk to us about your thoughts, Fenir.” Fenir lay his head in his hands again and tried to process what Evan had told him. Harry was his true mate, the one sub in the world that was meant for him in every single way and he would love his mate with every pat of him until the day he died. Again he felt the split in himself, part of him cheering and howling with joy as he accepted what he had been feeling for months, another part of him giving up one last cry of sorrow that he loved a killer.

“What am I meant to do, Evan. I feel it, I do. I love him with every part of me and I love my pups, our pups, and it breaks my heart for them to be apart from him but I can’t abandon my pack, they need their justice.”

“I can’t give you an answer, Fenir. You are the Alpha of this pack and it is your decision to make. One thing I can tell you is this. You are more than just an Alpha, just as Harry if more than just a sub, you have to do what is right for you as a wolf otherwise you will never be able to lead the pack wisely.”
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Punishment