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By The Light	By : lycanthrope Category: Harry Potter > FemSlash - Female/Female Views: 17677 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: All of the characters portrayed in this fic (apart from Jamie.) and all other creations existing within the world Of Harry Potter are the creative genius of J.K Rowling, I make no profit from the writing or posting of this fan fiction.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Chapter 12

This time I’m certain it's not me. This is all her. For the fifth time tonight I shuffle along the soft mattress beneath me and away from the clinging embrace of my girlfriend. Turning away and perching the length of my body on the edge of the bed, only to hear her sleepy moan of complaint. Causing guilt to swell in my gut.

Both of my hands clench into fists around the pillowcase and I pray to all of the Gods I can think of that this time she will stay where she is and give me some degree of personal space.

My muscles go stiff as I feel yet more movement behind me and a wondering hand runs along my abdomen. Her chest presses tightly along my back, her skin blazing hot against mine. Her position forces me to either remain stationary or get complete off the bed and vague sense of suffocation settles all along my spine. I bite my tongue and close my eyes, hoping, preying that I just might be able to get used to the sensation. She shifts again and her even breaths begin to cascade over the nape of my neck, which at any other time would prove to be highly erotic. Right at this moment however all it does it make my skin craw and a cold sweat to erupt all over my body.

After only being able to stand the feeling of my strained and shaking muscles for a few heartbeats, I reach own and gently remove her arm from around my abdomen. Then quickly vacate the warm comfort of her bed, booking a hasty retreat across the room and settle into the chair at her desk. My elbows rest heavily on it's wooden surface and my head drops into my hands.

Something has to be either wrong with me or with her, though I am unsure which. Why is it that I can quite happily feel the length of her naked flesh along the whole length of my body as the writhes in ecstasy? Or I am content to hold her in my arms to provide her comfort? Yet I am unable to transfer that easy physical contact to situations such as this. She seems to have no problem with this particular sleeping arrangement, being able to fall into the realms of Morpheus within moments of settling beneath the sheets with me. So why am I still wide awake, lying rigidly beside her for countless hours?

“Jamie?” Damn it. She's awake. “What are you doing up?” Her voice is groggy with sleep and I hear the bed shift as she changes her position.

After taking a deep breath and removing my head from my hands I look up and try to pull a reassuring smile across my face. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.” I try to keep my voice even and my face blank even in the darkness of the room.

“Come back to bed.” Somehow she makes it sound like a plea. She wants me in her bed and I cannot for the life of me understand why. It's too hot with another under the covers and there's not enough room. So you've forced to sleep close to each other, provoking yet more heat. “What's the matter?” The softly spoken question is enough for me to realise that I have taken to long to either respond to her or comply with her request.

“Nothing.” I answer easily, my tongue feeling like lead in my mouth preventing me from voicing my concerns. It's in the moment that I wish I had the words. I wish I could explain myself. Explain the fear at having her so close to me while I sleep. Her secure hold, meant to be comforting and protective fills me with dread. Why is this so difficult?

The bed creaks under her weight and I am only aware of her moving towards me when her wand appears in my vision and she quickly lights a candle at her desk. Her skin is cool against my face as she turns me to face her. Her concerned eyes scan by face as she blinks away the lasting effect of sleep. “Are you alright?”

“I'm just...” Several words float through my head for a moment as I pause. Words like, insecure and uncomfortable. Not the lie I tell her to try and save face. “Restless.”

Both her her eyebrows raise in disbelief. “You look exhausted.” She states and I feel my jaw clench at her observation. “Come back to bed.”

I sigh, defeated by my own inability to voice my true feelings and nod blowing out the candle. Letting her lead me by the hand back over towards the imposing bed. She clambers beneath the covers and lifts the edge for me. Without any plausible excuse I lower myself back down to the firm mattress and pull the covers over my legs and chest. Immediately stiffening when her head lands on my chest and her body wraps itself along my side.

Hermione being Hermione notices the change in me almost instantly and lifts herself up by her arms, one on either side of my chest. The small unconscious gesture makes me feel trapped beneath her and a deep sense of claustrophobia settles on my chest.

I cannot see her features in the dimly lit room but I can feel her eyes on me. Burning me with their intensity as they uselessly scan my face. “What is it?” All signs of sleep have left her voice, the tone gently demanding a truthful answer from me. My teeth grit in frustration and I remain silent. She sighs deeply and I feel her lips press lightly to the clenched muscles along my jaw. He head rests close to mine on the pillow as she settles back down with a calming breath. Her arm still across my chest, feeling like lead weight, forcing the air out of my lungs. “Please sweetheart, tell me what's wrong.”

Taking a shaky breath and consciously biting back my stubborn pride I say the first thing that jumps to the tip of my tongue. “You're suffocating me.” Her response is immediate and unexpected. Her arm rereads and she pulls herself away from me so we are no longer touching. I feel the weight against my chest lift and I can breath again. I had not anticipated that outcome. I thought she might disregard my discomfort completely. Or pull more of her weight over me so I would become more accustomed to the feeling. Under normal circumstances the behaviour would interest me, her natural responses directly counteracting anything I have come into contact with before. Yet all I feel in immense gratitude for the personal space she is now giving me. “Thank you.”

The silence that falls over us if deafening in it's intensity. The lack of light prevents me from searching her face to see her reaction to my outburst but her even breathing and her stiff muscles tell me that she is thinking intently on the matter.

I turn my head to the side and stare at the outline of her body, hoping for some indication as the direction of her thoughts. She takes a breath as if to speak but remains quiet, for several long moments. “I'm suffocating you?” She says. She voices it as an uneasy question, almost nervous at my answer.

My forehead creases in confusion, unseen in in the darkness. What can she have to be nervous about? “You were.” I answer carefully, not quiet certain what else there is to say on the topic.

“I'm not now?” She asks after only a short pause.

I manoeuvre myself onto my side, staring my eyes in the dark to try and see what has her so worried. “I've said something wrong.”

“No.” She replies quickly. “Am I to clingy?”

Still a little unsure as to what she is asking me, I decide that honesty would serve me best in this situation. “You are when you sleep.”

“Oh.” She pauses and its at this point when I become convinced that we are discussing two different things. “Just when I sleep?”

Reaching out and running two of my fingers gently along her cheek, hoping that the contact is at least a little soothing. “Hermione. What exactly are you trying to ask me?”

“Am I suffocating you in this relationship?”

“What?” I ask without giving myself time to process her question and it takes a moment for the Knut to drop with a clatter in my mind. “No. I...urm.” I'm struck dumb. This is almost exactly the same question I was asking myself only moments before and I still have no acceptable answer. “You cling to me. In your sleep.” I halt my speech. Unsure if I am making the whole situation worse by clumsily trying to explain it. “I just can't sleep with you're so close.” My palm rests against her skin, my thumb grazing her cheekbone lightly, as if the physical contact would show her, what I cannot express in words.

I feel her smile beneath my fingers and her hand rests over mine. “I can work around that.” Why would she do that? Why would she work around my fears and insecurity’s? It's clear to me that this form of contact is something she craves, even while she is in a deep sleep. Why does she not just take it from me? It is simple enough especially while I am in the bed beside her. Yet she is willing to put aside her own desires for mine. I wordlessly contemplate this, keeping my eyes trained at the outline of her body, until my persistent silence finally forces her to sigh in frustration. “Jamie. You're doing that thing again.”

“What thing?” I ask feigning ignorance.

“You're thinking so loudly but not saying a word.” She moves a little closer to me, now that I am no longer trying to sleep I welcome the contact. Another inconsistency in my insecurity. Her fingers run along my hair line and weave between the stands she finds there. “What are you thinking so intently about?”

“Why?” She stays quiet after my very vague question as if she intuitively knows that I fully intend to clarify but have yet to find the words to express myself. “You'd just stop? Just like that?”

“I'll try. I'm asleep. I can't really control it but you can still push me off you.”

“Why?” I ask again, still not totally understanding her viewpoint. “It's clear you want to hold me in your sleep. Why would you stop?”

“Why would you lie awake, for hours, suffering in silence?” I can feel her eyes on me as she waits for an answer that I am unable to give her. She turns her head resting her lips lightly against my wrist. “Get some sleep.” She says after many moments and turns onto her other side, presumable to stop herself from draping herself over me as she rests.

“Hermione.” I call to her back, she makes a content grumble in the back of her throat to show she is listening to me. “Thank you.”

I can hear the small smile in her voice as she speaks. “Go to sleep Jamie.”

Without her constant presence to crowd and overheat me, I am free to allow my exhaustion to quickly pull me down in the depths of Morpheus' domain.

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I am pulled sharply from my slumber and my eyelids snap open as the first rays of morning light appear over the horizon. The dim light of the pre dawn filters through the curtains and fills the room with a celestial glow. The dawn chorus can be heard, though muffled, filtering up from the wilderness below the northern tower.

Under a stage compulsion I gently rise from the bed, careful not to wake my sleeping companion, who has made good on her word and has stayed on her side of the mattress for the latter part of the night allowing me to sleep. My feel drag my to the window and I push back one of the curtains to see the first rays of light to indicate the start of a new day.

Pulling myself up onto the windowsill and curling my knees for more balance on the small ledge I rest my head against the cool glass to afford myself a better view as Apollo begins his daily journey across the sky. Taking in each and every moment of the winter sunrise. Watching as the light catches the think layer of snow, making it sparkle like a carpet of diamonds.

I hear Hermione stir but cannot pull my gaze away from this beautiful, natural, miracle. She grumbles something incoherent and turns onto her back in a light doze, leaving me in to my musings in peace.

I don't lift my head from the window until I have seen the entire sceptical and as if lifted from a trance I drag my eyes across the room to find another beauty waiting for me inside. With her head turned in my direction, she has a small smile on her face, her hooded eyes watching me intently.

I begin to feel uncomfortable with the scrutiny and uncharacteristically break the easy silence hanging in the air between us. “What?”

“You.” She ignores the questioning look on my face and proceeds to pull her self into a sitting position, pushing her legs over the side of the bed and stretching her arms above her head. “You looked so captivated. I didn't think you like something as mushy as sunrises.”

With the heat creeping up the side of my neck a try to brush off her observation. “Not as mushy as sunsets.”

“Well that depends on if you stay up all night to watch it rise.” She says a glint in her eye.

With an eyebrow raised I give her my deadpan reply. “Well we didn't.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment and concedes. “True. Some other time perhaps.” She ignores the look on my face and promptly changes the subject. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

“I have the distinct sense that I should be asked you that.” Her attack yesterday evening has as of yet remained an unexplored subject and I have very little idea on how she handling the incident.

She shakes her head to the negative and quickly dispels my worry. “He didn't do anything.”

“He would have.” I am quick to point out.

“Yes.” She agrees and lifts her eyes to meet my gaze. “Somehow I don't think he'll try that again any time soon.” She refers to my impulsive actions and I stay quiet on the matter imploring her with my eyes not to explore that particular topic at this time. She reads my face perfectly and says very softly. “We can talk about that later.” A bright twinkle of mischief enters her eyes and instantly the sombre mood lifts from the room from. “Right now, I just want to know what you're doing all the way over there.” She places her hands flat behind her and leans back heavily on her arms. I am unsure if she is aware that she is a very enticing site in such a position.

My feet land numbly on the thick rug covering the stone floor and my long stride swallows the distance between us in a matter of seconds. Slowly and a little unsure of my actions I lean down and gently cover her lips with my own, reaching out with one hand for balance to I do not topple over and crush her beneath my weight.

Her fingers threat lightly in my hair, tugging at my scalp and pulling me closer and encouraging my actions. Or lips quickly fall into an ancient rhythm, lighting a blazing fire of desire deep in my belly. She lowers herself backwards leading me further onto the bed. My knees land on either side of her thigh, my torso stretches out along the length of her, with my arms bearing most of my weight.

I feel her touch as her fingers slip beneath my long t-shirt to softly stoke along each patch of skin she exposes. Months of repressed lust explodes through my body and I can see, all I can feel, all that I need is her touch.

My hips press downwards into her pushing my thigh close to her centre and I feel her gasp into my open mouth at the sensation. Her hand travels north, along my back bunching up the material of my t-shirt on it's journey, steadily exposing my skin to the air. Her lips drive forward and capture mine in a series of heated kisses almost catching me by surprise in their intensity. It appears these long weeks apart have effected her as much as they have effected me.

Shifting all of my weight onto my left arm, I trial my fingertips along her arm and down onto her covered thigh. With a deep need to feel her flesh I gather her nightie between my digits and slowly pull the offending material up her leg until the hem grazes my fingers. Her grip tightens in my hair as my hand dips under her nightgown and my palm flattening against her satin skin, greedily grasping all I can reach.

The ghost of nails can be felt against my back, sparking pleasurable sensations along my body and settling between my legs.

My hand makes it way up her thigh and when I graze the edge of her underwear a throaty moan escapes her. I push back and away from her, my breathing as heavy and ragged as hers and for just a few heartbeats, cold blue eyes meet the deepest green, searching for any sign of hesitation or reluctance. For I know if we take this contact any further I will be more that a little disinclined to stop. `

All I find in those beautiful eyes is passion and desire and I push heavily against the bed and sit back on my hunches, it only takes her a moment to sit up and follow the movement. Almost as soon as her back leaves the mattress I have her nightie bunched in both hands around her abdomen. Needing the full length of her body bared to my sight and touch. I tug and pull at the material until it slips over her head and raised arms, doping it behind me onto the floor. Not being able to remove my eyes from the beauty before me.

Hands touch flesh, thumbs graze the side of heaving breasts and eyes soak up exposed skin. Too long, it has simply been to long since I have been permitted to cast my gaze over her in such a way. She remains still under my intense appraisal of her body until my eyes lift to meet hers. “You are absolutely stunning.” I say, hardly able to recognise my own voice from it's drastic drop in pitch.

Her whole face beams at my prise and her fingers bunch in the material of my t-shirt. Tugging at it lightly and it doesn’t take much convincing for me to reach down and pull it over my head in one, swift movement. I only permit her a few moments to let her eyes travel across my exposed skin, before leaning down and capturing her lips in an enticing dance.

Pitching my weight forward to push her back onto the mattress, I begin a slow exploration under my hands to rediscover her alluring curves. Rediscovering all of the points along her skin which make her gasp and squirm with excitement, burning every dip and swell deep into my memory.

Her arms wrap securely around my ribs and nails bite into my back pushing our torsos so close that breasts meet breasts and stomachs touch between us, lighting sparks of passion all along by body kindling the raging inferno of desire curled in the pit of my belly.

All to soon the gentle caress becomes to subtle, not nearly enough to sate my hunger for her. My lips leave hers and trail a slow path along her jaw, travelling along the column of her throat, my tongue laps at the junction between neck and shoulder as I enjoy the shudders racking her body under my ministrations.

Her fingers fold into the stands of my hair as I continue my decant of her body, tightening when my lips graze the swell of her breasts. I enjoy the taste of the supple flesh for several moments before I feel the unconscious push against my crown to encourage my journey south. With a combination of my own greed and desire I do not resist the gentle urging and quickly fold my body to envelop the sensitive flesh of her nipple between my lips.

At the first contact of her sensitive flesh her hip rise from the bed, pressing deeply against my need. My eyes close against the sensation needing to rein in my own sounds of passion to be able to concentrate on my task. I push my tongue against the sensitive peak and listen to her moans and cries. Each sounds permeating my senses and travelling down to my damp core.

She softly moans my name and my mind becomes frenzied in its incessant need to hear it a second time. Without thought my hips grind down, pushing my thigh against her, halting her breath for a moment and her muscles tense beneath me.

Her fingers leave my hair and I feel them against my hips, pushing against the loose shorts around them. I release the trapped flesh from between my lips and seek out her eyes with mine. Within the murky dark green irises I find the same desperation for the intimate contact that I feel mirrored in my own.

With her excitement driving mine to such a fevered pitch, I stand from the bed catching her underwear up pull it down her thighs where it joins the rapidly growing piles of clothing on the floor. As she pulls herself further onto the bed I step out of my shorts and underwear in record breaking time. Immediately crawling up the bed to straddle one of her thighs and rest the length of my body along hers.

Our lips meet, instantly setting a frantic pace. With tongues stroking tongues fighting a futile battle of dominance in which neither of us care for victory. I slid a hand between out bodies, seeking out the socked flesh between her thighs, felling her body tense and then tremble at the welcome intrusion. I find the small nub between her folds which has her moaning deeply into my mouth and thrashing around beneath me, inadvertently pushing her body into mine and cause my excitement to spill down the inside of my thighs.

My hips shoot forward and it takes my lust filled mind a moment or two to register her hands are in no way idle, her curious digits exploring my drenched intimate folds. Without pause she enters me and I quickly forget how to breath. I pull myself away from her lips becoming accustomed to the fullness inside of me. Muscles all along my back trembling in anticipation, lungs burning for fresh air to be inhaled.

She remains still, her only movement is her hand holding my cheek and keep me grounded.

When breath finally comes to me I enter her, feeling her clench tightly around my fingers. I remain as still as I am able, giving her the same time to adjust as she afforded me. Her hips grinding down into me is my only sign to continue.

It takes only heartbeats before we fall into a frantic rhythm. My lips travel down the column of her neck and my teeth lightly graze her flesh. Each thrust of my hand met with a roll of her hips and a cry of passion to tumble forth from between her lips.

Without warning orgasm curls in my belly and explodes. My whole body become ridged and lights spark behind my eyes with it's intensity. She cries out into my ear her nails digging into the skin at my shoulder and I can feel her inner walls clamp down around my fingers indicating her own release.

For a few moments I stay right where I am, just leaning how to breath again. Taking long deep breaths and lacking the functioning brain capacity to move from my position. Slowly I pull my fingers from inside of her and after placing a long kiss to her cheek drop to one side and roll onto my back.

She rolls to the side and moulds herself along my body with her head resting on my shoulder, her leg bending at the knee, hooking over my hip. It only accrues to me for a moment at at this present time I welcome the close contact which only a few hours ago I could not cope with before wrap my arm around her shoulder blades and pull her still closers, dropping my lips to her sweat soaked hair.

We both remain silent. Just enjoying each others company and the post organic bliss until both of our breathing has evened out to a natural rhythm.
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By The Light