Amore et Amicitia | By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Sirius/James Views: 6687 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story. |
AN: This chapter contains scene’s of underage sexual contact, please heed the warnings. :) Ok, so inevitably James and Sirius’ relationship takes another step further as it would between two horny teens. :p As for James’ glasses, well, in Canon when Harry Potter is shown Snape’s memories JK Rowling doesn’t mention that Eleven year old James wears glasses, I’m pretty sure he needed them slightly later than Harry did who wears glasses from the outset. So, in my story I’m sticking to that. I hope you enjoy watching the boys growing up, Sirius is slowly learning more about himself and is slowly gaining confidence in that knowledge. :) Thank you for reviewing it makes me so unbelievably happy to know I’m entertaining you. (Ps. I LOVE Snape, no matter if Sirius and James bully him, I think Snape is a wonderfully deep character)
Chapter Twelve: Fatum et Amor (Fate and Love)
Sirius’ eyes opened and he found himself gazing up at a familiar ceiling, he groaned softly and licked his lips. After blinking to clear his vision, he turned his head feeling a soft pillow beneath him, sat in three chairs by his bed he saw James, Remus and Peter. “’lo...” He rasped with a weak smile as the sight of his friends filled him with joy.
“Sirius!” James exclaimed, he moved to the bed and looked at him carefully. “How are you?”
“Achy, but I’ll get over it...Jamie...? Why on earth are you wearing glasses?”
James grinned and adjusted his new golden rimmed spectacles. “My eyesight hasn’t been good since I was ten, but recently it’s been worse than normal so dad made me go to St. Mungos and get my eyes tested...I needed glasses so...” He shrugged. “They kind of suit me, but flying with them might cause some problems.” Sirius felt the first proper grin on his face that he had worn in a while, he chuckled softly. Then, James’ smile fell slightly. “We were worried you know.” He said quietly. “Can you tell us what happened?”
Sirius’ smile fell as rapidly as it had come and he looked away, he could feel the eyes of Remus and Peter on him as well and he wished that they wouldn’t look at him. “Jamie I...I’m not sure if I...”
James reached out and smoothed hair from Sirius’ eyes, he turned his head with a gentle hand so they were looking directly at each other. Then James smiled softly and pressed his forehead against Sirius’. “Sirius, I’m your best friend yeah?” Sirius nodded as best he could. “Then trust me, please.”
Sirius’ fingers dug into the blanket, he felt his eyes burn yet he couldn’t look away from James’. Behind the lenses of his glasses they glittered, they were a mixture of molten gold and light woody brown and reminded Sirius of a forest in autumn. He choked on a sob that ripped itself free of his lungs, he shivered and felt James’ warm arms encase him so thoroughly he felt as if he had been wrapped in a warm blanket. He let the embrace linger as he broke down, sobbing uncontrollably into James’ shoulder. Suddenly another embrace enfolded him and he felt a wrench in his gut as he poured all the terror he had felt, all the pain, anger and humiliation into his tears.
After Sirius’ sudden burst of emotion had subsided James pulled away as Remus handed him a tissue, they both remained on the bed, each one gripping one of Sirius’ hands. Slowly, with halting words and closed eyes, Sirius began to recount what had happened to him. As he told his story Remus’ hand clenched on his own and he sucked in a sharp breath, James watched and listened in stony silence until Sirius fell silent again, he told them everything except what happened with his Uncle, that was a secret he would take to the grave. “We have a plan.” He said softly. “Sirius, this summer as soon as you can you’ll be able to come to mine, my mum will look after you.”
“And every Christmas we will either let you stay around one of our houses or you can stay at Hogwarts...” Remus concluded. “We know that no Law can help you, but we can and we will stand by you.”
“We’re your friends Siri, we want to help.”
Sirius smiled softly and nodded, it was all he could do not to burst into even more tears.
XXX
When Sirius was deemed healthy enough he was released from the Hospital Wing, much to James’ delight. His friends escorted him into the Great Hall where they had hung a hand-made banner that said;
‘Welcome Home Sirius Black!’
Sirius took a few long moments to take it in before turning on his friends and yanking them into a tight embrace. They held each other for a while, Sirius smiling happily. “Thank you...You can’t even guess how much this means to me.”
He was greeted by his fellow Gryffindors, they welcomed him back with smiles and firm handshakes. The Prefects smiled and directed him to a seat at the centre of the long house table, he was questioned until James made everyone stop by declaring that he would shove his wand up the nose of anyone who dared question his best friend. Sirius was grateful, it had been hard enough to tell James and Remus and Peter about his parents, he had no wish to do the same for others.
After the evening meal the four friends stood and started to make their way out of the Hall, someone hailed Sirius from the other side of the room, he turned and saw Regulus running over to him. “Reg!” He said in surprise as his brother ran up, he wasn’t exactly sure how he should be feeling. He loved his brother, yet he found he couldn’t have quite the same amount of respect for him anymore.
“Sirius, I heard what happened.” He said and straightened his back, he frowned at his taller, older brother. “How could you?!” He shouted loud enough for the whole room to hear.
Sirius froze, a small frown creasing his brow. “What?”
“How could you hurt mother in this way?” Regulus demanded.
“Hurt...? What?” Sirius was utterly bewildered.
“You ran off without even a note to tell them where you were, then you do magic outside in the Muggle World! What the hell were you thinking?! Mother was distraught! She was crying and blaming herself for your disregard for your family!”
James bristled, stepping forward menacingly but Sirius stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Reg, listen to me...”
“Listen to you?!” Regulus’ voice rose. “Sirius! You nearly destroyed her! She was so hurt by your actions that I spent most of the day before coming back here consoling her! Don’t you care what happens to us?”
Sirius was silent for a very long time, the whole hall seemed to be holding its breath and suddenly he drew himself up to his full height, a sneer etched itself across his face as he gazed at his brother from heavily lidded eyes. “Tell me, brother, why should I care?”
Regulus gaped at him in confusion. “Because the same blood runs through our veins! Because we are brothers...because we’re of the old families! Because, Sirius, we’re purebloods and we need to stick together during these unsettled times...”
Sirius dipped his hand into his pocket, he withdrew a small silver pocket knife that he kept hidden in a concealed pocket in his robes. He showed the flashing blade to his brother and shook back the sleeve of his left hand, faster than the eye could see he slashed his palm open. There were gasps as people began muttering and James stepped forward with a curse on his lips, Sirius halted him with a shake of his head. Slowly and deliberately he lifted his palm to show Regulus and the rest of the Slytherins who had gathered behind him. “Tell me, how this blood is any different from anyone else’s in this hall?” His sharp, dagger-like eyes darted from one person to the next as the silence gathered around them. Finally he clenched his hand into a fist and shoved it into his brother’s face. “There is no difference! None at all!” The Slytherins were looking at each other, some glared at Sirius, others sneered. “My blood is as red as anyone else’s...pureblood, half-blood, Muggleborn...none of it matters!” His voice rose slowly, growing strength as his conviction grew. “I am the same as she is!” He pointed at Lily who flushed at being put on the spot but she didn’t look away. “My heritage may contain more magical blood but what difference does that make? Why must we distinguish ourselves? Why do we have to insist that Purebloods are higher than muggleborns? Where is the sense in that?” He held his hand out to Regulus, his palm was completely crimson. “Reg, you’re my brother, no matter what happens that won’t change.” He spoke softly, his eyes on those of his brothers and he saw pain in them.
Regulus’ breathing was harsh in his throat as he suddenly stepped away from Sirius, he lifted his hand and pointed at him accusingly. “Bloodtraitor! Bloodtraitor filth! Mother will hear of this!”
“So be it.” Sirius said quietly, his eyes full of pain as his brother stormed off, followed by several of his classmates. Remus stepped up to his side and gently took his injured hand, he pointed his wand at it and muttered the healing spell. It itched as it healed but Sirius only stared at the spot where his brother had practically disowned him. “Thanks, Moony.” He muttered absently.
James stood to his side and put his hand on his shoulder. “You ok?”
Sirius turned his head and looked at him, his eyes glittering in the candle light. “Yeah...I reckon I am.” He smiled weakly and James returned it.
“Black?” Sirius turned to see Lily Evans stood before him, she held herself stiffly and they watched each other a moment before she spoke again. “That was brave of you...” She said softly, allowing a flicker of a smile on her lips.
Sirius inclined his head as she walked away after greeting Remus, the four friends stood there, arms resting around each other’s shoulders before suddenly James bestirred himself. “Right then! Let’s get back to the Common room, I’m sure half of Gryffindor wants to congratulate and welcome the latest addition to the tribe of Bloodtraitor!” He grinned and slapped Sirius on the back before running off, Sirius beamed and followed him with a sharp bark of laughter.
XXX
Sirius’ life returned to some semblance of normality, the days passed in a flash of bright laughter, pranks and bullying. Sirius contented himself with taking all the pain his parents caused him out on the few unfortunates who managed to get in his way, he used his skills to vent his pain on anyone who crossed him, but one person in particular got the brunt of his wrath; Severus Snape.
James joined Sirius in his bullying, enjoying the freedom of exerting dominance over the smaller, skinnier boy. Although Snape gave as good as he got, the fact that Sirius and James would gang up on him put him at a disadvantage. Sirius had no idea why Snape had become his favourite target, although, deep in his subconscious he knew that he saw himself in the gangly, pale boy. Some deep, unacknowledged part of himself recognised a kindred spirit, he knew instinctively that Snape had as hard a time at home as he did, he knew that Snape was just as bullied at home as he was. Sirius ensured he ignored his reasoning, he only wanted to laugh and humiliate, in his mind he wasn’t doing any serious harm, because he and James were just messing around.
Lily, however, saw things differently. Whenever she spotted James and Sirius picking on Severus she would storm over and threaten them, the two boys usually laughed it off. She hounded them about their bullying, even resorting to telling the teachers a couple of times. James took that as the greatest offence, he began to obsess over it and then he began to obsess over her.
On his thirteenth birthday, while he and Sirius were on the Quidditch pitch flying he broached the subject with his friends. They sat on the grass, James sprawled out by Sirius as he gazed up at the early evening sky. “What do you reckon to Lily Evans?” He asked suddenly.
Remus looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. “What?”
James shifted seeming uneasy. “Well...I...I just think she’s pretty...”
Sirius felt the hackles rise on the back of his neck, he growled softly to himself. “She’s a stuffy know it all, Jamie.” He muttered darkly.
“Yeah but that doesn’t mean she’s not pretty.” James sighed heavily and frowned up at the sky. “When she talks...it’s all I can hear...but its worse when she laughs...Merlin...her laughter is like...like water...and when she walks...” He sighed softly and a big, goofy grin spread across his face. “When she walks, especially when she’s angry, her bum wiggles just so and it...” He trailed off, unsure how he was going to finish that sentence.
Sirius turned his head to look at James, his expression oddly blank. “You like her?” He asked.
“Yeah, I think I do...Do you reckon she’d go out with me?”
Remus let out a bark of laughter, so similar to Sirius’ that James looked at him first before realising who had laughed. “James, she hates you.” He said matter-of-factly. Sirius felt a sense of smug satisfaction and struggled to keep his face blank. “All she ever does is complain about you.”
James went quiet, continuing to gaze up at the sky, Lily’s face haunting his mind.
XXX
That night Sirius had a nightmare, he woke with a jolt, his body covered in a cold sweat yet as he tried to remember what had scared him he was unable to and the dream slipped through his mind like water through his hands. He shivered and clutched the pillow, finally he slipped out of bed and walked silently over to James’. James lay fast asleep and snoring slightly, he had kicked off his blankets and lay half hanging out of his bed, Sirius smiled weakly as he watched him and slowly slipped in beside him. “Jamie?” he muttered.
“Mmm?” James replied sleepily.
“Can I sleep with you?”
“Yeah...guess...”
Sirius sighed happily and curled up against James’ side, enjoying the profound sense of safety he got when he was with him. He wrapped an arm around him and snuggled his face into his neck, with a soft breath he closed his eyes.
James lay still, his eyes half opening as he felt Sirius’ hand on his stomach, the touch of his skin was strange. He felt his own tingle pleasantly until he reached down and took Sirius’ fingers in his own, they stayed like that for a while, neither speaking for fear of what might be said. Slowly, ever so slowly, James turned his head so he was looking directly into Sirius’ face, he could see those twin pools of molten moonlight that were Sirius’ eyes and he caught his breath. He leaned closer until their foreheads touched. Sirius watched James’ eyes land on his lips and stay there for an unusual amount of time, his skin tingled. The hairs all over his body stood on end as he shifted closer. Then their eyes met again, James curled his hand so their fingers entwined and began inching closer. Their breath mingled in the infinitesimal space that separated their lips. The seconds seemed to tick by with all the speed of an eternity and then, with a slight hitch of his breathing James closed the gap.
Their lips pressed together and Sirius let his eyes fall closed. It was the oddest feeling, James’ lips were slightly chapped from where he had been out so often on his broom, his fingers tingled as they stayed perfectly still, stuck in that position as if too afraid to break the moment. Then Sirius pulled away slightly, his eyes scanning James’ face, the silence was heavy and brooding with a previously unacknowledged tension and James swallowed. They leaned forward again, this time putting a little more pressure on than before. James slid his hand up Sirius’ arm, his fingers trailing over the bare skin lightly until he slid fingers into his hair. Their breathing was unsteady, their bodies shaking almost imperceptibly until once again they broke the prolonged kiss. James licked his lips and shivered when he tasted Sirius on them. Sirius moved his hand to James’ hip, he traced a circle over the exposed bone and felt James tense. He smiled softly and slowly put his hand to rest just above his cotton pyjama bottoms, James’ body tensed further and he kissed Sirius again. Something changed, there was a new and far more interesting dynamic to this kiss, they began to hesitantly move their lips together, making tiny sounds as they did so.
On some unacknowledged impulse Sirius pulled himself closer so their bodies were pressed against each other, neither spoke as they felt an unexpected hardness beneath their pyjamas. James breathed out softly and turned his head so he could get more comfortable. He felt Sirius part his lips and press his hips against his own, James uttered a surprised little huffing noise and slowly snaked his tongue out. Sirius accepted James’ tongue and opened his mouth wider, his hips took on a life of their own, he pressed himself into James in the same way he had pressed his erection into his Uncles hand. The pressure and friction sent thrills of excitement up and down his spine, it felt too good to stop and James seemed to feel the same.
Finally Sirius pulled away with a soft gasp, his back arching slightly as he uttered a soft, breathy moan and his eyes flickered. James was shocked to realise that he had caused the reaction, his eyes took in every tiny detail of Sirius as he slid a hand between their bodies. He touched the bulge in Sirius’ pants and felt the hardness there, his tongue darted out and wet his lips as he watched Sirius close his eyes and press himself into his hand. Without conscious thought James began to massage Sirius’ erection through his trousers, he watched with rapt fascination as Sirius began breathing heavily, his back arched, his hands trembled and he bit his lower lip to stifle his moans. Neither spoke, even when Sirius began replicating the movements for James.
It didn’t take very long before Sirius went rigid beneath James’ insistent fingers, he gasped and gripped James tightly as he shuddered. James groaned heavily and felt a wet patch spread through the cloth beneath the hand he kept on Sirius’ erection. He shivered and felt a sudden brutal stab of pleasure erupt in his abdomen, with a whisper of Sirius’ name he felt an orgasm wipe his mind clean.
It took a while for either boy to come down from their unexpected high and when they did they spent a while simply looking at each other, James tried to work out if anything had changed between them but Sirius only smiled softly. When James had relaxed he reached up and dragged Sirius in for a long embrace, he wanted to kiss again because it felt like the right thing to do.
Sirius allowed his head to be tipped to the side and closed his eyes when James’ lips met his own, he smiled slightly and sighed. The soft, warm glow that had begun to shine when he had first met James Potter slowly grew, as their lips moved against each other and James’ tongue slid into his mouth something inside Sirius changed. He couldn’t understand what had happened, or what had changed he simply knew that he never wanted the moment to end.
XXX
During the day the two were the same they always had been, to the average by passer they were simply two rambunctious boys. But Remus spotted the subtle changes in their relationship, they were closer than ever, their hands would sometimes find each other beneath desks and their smiles had changed. He never questioned it, it seemed an almost natural development to their relationship.
Peter too noticed the changes, he watched with jealousy seething through his heart and mind when Sirius would wrap a hand around James’, or when they would sit curled against each other in the evenings. Sometimes he would even catch prolonged glances filled with an indescribable tension that made Peter’s skin crawl, but he followed the others leads and didn’t mention it.
At night, when their friends were fast asleep, Sirius would crawl into bed beside James and they would spend time simply kissing. They explored each other with gentle touches, tentative motions of their tongues and long, hard looks. Their explorations eventually culminated in the sensual massaging of each others inevitable erections, their orgasms hitting them with such unexpected force that it left them both breathless.
Slowly they deepened their knowledge of each others most intimate body parts. Eventually, it was Sirius who pushed it further.
One night, they lay together kissing as Peter snored softly from his bed. James’ fingers moved against the front of Sirius’ pyjamas with such agonising slowness that Sirius wrapped his fingers around his wrist. “Stop...” he breathed heavily against James’ lips, James looked at him in silence. “Here...” He moved James’ hand inside his Pyjama bottoms and wrapped his fingers tightly around his erection, James shuddered. “Move your hand...” Sirius muttered, his eyes glazing over slightly as he pushed himself into the tight tunnel formed by James’ fingers. “That’s it...good...” He slipped his own hand into James’ boxers and touched the wet tip of his penis, gently he began to explore it, memorising James’ every reaction.
Nothing about the situation felt wrong to either of them, Sirius was almost certain that they should feel wrong as it had when his Uncle had touched him in the same way, but James was different. James was perfect, their bodies fit as perfectly as if they had been made for each other and as the knowledge of each other increased so did the feeling of rightness.
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